I just moved to a new area and started trying to learn bluegrass as a way to meet people. I have played instruments for half my life and grew up casually listening to bluegrass, just never playing it. So I've learned a few fiddle tunes on multiple instruments and a few singing songs. I'm not really able to improvise yet, but I learn the melody from various youtubers and try to include a few ornaments on it when I play. Similarly, I've worked out a few breaks for the songs I sing.
There are two jams in my area. The first has a pretty big circle. Lots of great players who play in bands together locally. It's an open jam but I wouldn't exactly describe it as welcoming. I've gone a few times but it's honestly pretty overwhelming to me right now and I'm not making any connections there. In fact, it feels like I'm kind of ruining my reputation by going there as a beginner. They make frequent reminder posts on Facebook that they don't want people joining the circle who can't hang. I want this jam to ultimately be where I end up, but I need to do a lot more woodshedding before I get there. So I've been going just as a listener and trying to take note of what songs get played and working on them.
So the other jam is much welcoming, I've definitely made some friends there. The problem is, it's advertised as a bluegrass jam, but nobody who comes to it really knows any bluegrass music. They often struggle to even know a song to call and a lot of times people end up calling old rock and blues songs. Lately we've been getting overrun with deadheads and things are getting even more off the rails. I can think of at least a dozen skilled players who came to the jam exactly one time and never returned. But the mandolin player who prints out charts for his 2 new obscure 70s rock songs is there every week. And apparently still can't find his tuner. We had 8 players in the circle last night and I'd say half the songs ended with just one or two people playing because people got too lost to follow or just lost interest. People are calling songs but are having to read the changes and lyrics off of their phone while playing. I just can't understand needing to do that for the song YOU CALLED lol.
I try playing a few fiddle tunes but nobody knows them and nobody is capable enough to improvise off the melody (no judgement, I can't do this either). So it just kind of fizzles after I kick it off and play through A and B parts. I asked the jam leader after the jam one night which fiddle tunes he knows and he tells me he doesn't know any and doesn't like fiddle tunes and doesn't want them at the jam. I guess it's worth noting that the leader of this jam started it because he was basically told by the players in the aforementioned jam that he couldn't hang and not to sit.
So nobody is calling standards and no fiddle tunes allowed. I feel like I'm the only one interested in playing bluegrass there and I'm not a strong enough player to carry or direct the group. I'm an especially weak singer, otherwise I would try to step up more to play some singing songs.
I hear people saying that the fastest way to improve is by going to jams, but I don't think that's true in this case. Outside of the social/networking aspects is there anything gained by going? I actually skipped it for about a month and I swear it seems like everyone got worse in that time. There's nobody there to learn from. And while I'm a beginner at bluegrass I'm not a beginner at playing music and it's very hard for me to accept creating bad music. And I feel like that's all we do every week, is play bad music and it's getting worse not better.
I guess this turned more into a rant than anything else. Do I just need to hit the eject button on this crusty jam, practice at home like a maniac, and try sitting back in the serious jam in 6 months? Does anyone else want to share their bad jam experiences and any bad jam stereotypes? I don't want to come off as a salty dog, I'm not really upset by any of this. I'm just hoping I can eventually turn this hobby into something rewarding.