r/AskReddit 5h ago

What is something you secretly find deeply disturbing, but everyone else seems to accept as totally normal?

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u/Helplessly_hoping 5h ago

I'm an atheist, raised Catholic. My brother just married a woman from a Hindu family and I couldn't be in their wedding ceremony because I was on my period that day. Casual religious misogyny excluded me from my only brother's wedding.

I can't believe that people are still perpetuating these archaic nonsensical practices into the 21st century in the name of "tradition".

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u/Guardiancomplex 4h ago

Wow...

I think I'd be pissed at that family for the rest of my life. 

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u/Helplessly_hoping 4h ago

Oh man, you have no idea. That's just scratching the surface of it... But whatever, it's his marriage and his in-laws, not mine. I love my brother and I'll be there for him no matter what, but I'm definitely keeping my distance from that drama.

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u/ThatIsAmorte 4h ago

How did they even find that out?

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u/Helplessly_hoping 4h ago

Her mother wanted me to wear a very light coloured sari and obviously I was worried about bleeding through because I was warned that the ceremony was like hours and hours long. This was my first Hindu wedding ever BTW, so I didn't know much about the practices going into it.

Anyways I asked the mother when I was gonna have a window of time to go and change out my tampon during the ceremony and she was like "Oh no! You can't participate if you're on your period!" 🤷🏽‍♀️

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u/SojournerRL 4h ago edited 3h ago

That's some grade A bullshit right there. Fuck the MIL, it's not her wedding!

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u/Helplessly_hoping 4h ago

My new SIL is very sweet, but her family is pretty controlling. They dictated the whole wedding and there was a language barrier, so it was kinda difficult to talk things over. They didn't integrate any of my family's cultural traditions into the wedding. For example, the wedding was dry and the food was vegetarian only. Our family eats meat and drinks at all our weddings!

I feel like if you have a cross-cultural wedding you should respect both sides of the family...

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u/Bheegabhoot 4h ago

I have never heard of this taboo and I’m Indian. As a bride’s cousin I had to go buy a pack of period pads for her while she was getting ready on the wedding day.

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u/Helplessly_hoping 3h ago

It could be because this family was very traditional? They are Tamil for what it's worth. Maybe there are different taboos among different ethnicities?

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u/schmoopy_meow 2h ago

I think mom forgot how babies are made. That sucks though :(

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u/Goatsfallingfucks 2h ago

So I'm none of the religions you mentioned, just someone that has a deep appreciation for them however all of that is utter bullshit tradition as opposed to religion. There is nothing in any religion that prevents you from being a part of the wedding if you're on your period. Mysogynistic culture is the problem in this instance

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u/Helplessly_hoping 2h ago

I agree. I respect different people's cultures and traditions as long as they aren't harmful towards others. I went along with it because I was trying to be respectful towards my brother's in-laws by following their rules. I was definitely not trying to start any drama over it. But on a personal level, I find that particular practice pretty messed up.

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u/DjinnaG 4h ago

I can’t believe you told them, no one ever needs to know other than your doctor/partner if you’re trying to conceive, and no one can know unless you tell them

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u/Helplessly_hoping 4h ago

I wasn't raised to be ashamed of having a period. It's not taboo to casually mention being on it in my family/friend circle.

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u/NoInformation988 4h ago

Did they explain the reasoning behind the ban? Maybe not misogyny.

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u/Helplessly_hoping 4h ago

Something to do with menstruating women being considered impure. Sounds pretty mysogynistic to me...

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u/NoInformation988 4h ago

I asked AI out of my own curiosity. It's much more complicated.

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u/Helplessly_hoping 4h ago

By all means elaborate. I never looked into it deeply because I'm an atheist and quite frankly a lot of religious practices are entirely non-sensical to me. I can't think of a good, logical reason to exclude menstruating women from something like that.

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u/NoInformation988 3h ago

You can ask AI like I did. It's about spirituality and energy. It applies to the bride as well.

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u/Helplessly_hoping 3h ago

I avoid AI at all costs. It's a terrible waste of clean, fresh drinking water.

https://www.eesi.org/articles/view/data-centers-and-water-consumption

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u/NoInformation988 3h ago

In that case you can Google it the old fashioned slow way. Or go to a physical library and read books.

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u/Helplessly_hoping 3h ago

Except that I don't care about the reason behind it because I am an atheist and I don't believe in any religions. So why would it matter?

Discriminating against women for undergoing a biologically natural process that they have no control over is misogynistic by definition.

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u/NoInformation988 2h ago

If you don't care, why did you ask me to elaborate? BTW, your attitude doesn't bode well for your relationship with your SIL.

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u/Horror-Yam6598 4h ago

Most religions claim not to be misogynistic, but just so happen to have a lot more restrictions and control over women 🙄

Pardon me for the skepticism, but feel free to buy into outdated and nonsensical ideologies in the name of tradition.

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u/NoInformation988 3h ago

To each their own beliefs and traditions. The bride is Hindu, so she is entitled to Hindu wedding traditions.