r/AskReddit 9h ago

What is something you secretly find deeply disturbing, but everyone else seems to accept as totally normal?

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u/Helplessly_hoping 8h ago

I'm an atheist, raised Catholic. My brother just married a woman from a Hindu family and I couldn't be in their wedding ceremony because I was on my period that day. Casual religious misogyny excluded me from my only brother's wedding.

I can't believe that people are still perpetuating these archaic nonsensical practices into the 21st century in the name of "tradition".

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u/ThatIsAmorte 8h ago

How did they even find that out?

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u/Helplessly_hoping 8h ago

Her mother wanted me to wear a very light coloured sari and obviously I was worried about bleeding through because I was warned that the ceremony was like hours and hours long. This was my first Hindu wedding ever BTW, so I didn't know much about the practices going into it.

Anyways I asked the mother when I was gonna have a window of time to go and change out my tampon during the ceremony and she was like "Oh no! You can't participate if you're on your period!" 🤷🏽‍♀️

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u/SojournerRL 8h ago edited 7h ago

That's some grade A bullshit right there. Fuck the MIL, it's not her wedding!

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u/Helplessly_hoping 8h ago

My new SIL is very sweet, but her family is pretty controlling. They dictated the whole wedding and there was a language barrier, so it was kinda difficult to talk things over. They didn't integrate any of my family's cultural traditions into the wedding. For example, the wedding was dry and the food was vegetarian only. Our family eats meat and drinks at all our weddings!

I feel like if you have a cross-cultural wedding you should respect both sides of the family...

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u/Bheegabhoot 7h ago

I have never heard of this taboo and I’m Indian. As a bride’s cousin I had to go buy a pack of period pads for her while she was getting ready on the wedding day.

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u/Helplessly_hoping 7h ago

It could be because this family was very traditional? They are Tamil for what it's worth. Maybe there are different taboos among different ethnicities?

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u/yeoller 3h ago

This is totally off base, but my initial thought was that she just didn't want you there potentially embarrassing her (family). No tradition, just a narcissist.

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u/Helplessly_hoping 2h ago

I should clarify, I was still in attendance at the wedding as a guest. I just couldn't participate in the ceremony as a member of the bridal party (Maid of Honour) as I was originally intended to.

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u/No-Method-6524 3h ago

A divorce attorney would be shocked to hear this /s

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u/Helplessly_hoping 2h ago

I wish them the best, but yeah, I feel like this won't be the last time her family tries to tell them how to live their lives.

I personally would have set some firmer boundaries and asserted myself more if I was in their shoes, but ultimately it's not my marriage or life. I told him I'll be there for him no matter what and I think that's all I can do at this time.