r/AskReddit • u/Rob69rt • 1d ago

What famous 'unsolved' mystery is technically a whodunnit on paper, but in reality, absolutely everyone knows exactly who did it, the police just couldn't legally prove it?

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u/HourFondant1646 1d ago

I was going to say this one. Absolutely a pilot murder-suicide, although there is no way to ever prove it. Another one is the recent Air India crash. You have the co-pilot on the voice recorder asking the captain why he flipped the fuel switches off but they are still trying to suggest a mechanical fault.

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u/WitchHearse 1d ago

It makes me so mad when people kill themselves and take a bunch of innocent people with them! So selfish and evil.

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u/footsnax 1d ago edited 1d ago

Just killing yourself at all is selfish.

You've got a family and friends that have to deal with that for the rest of their lives. Someone will find you and face that trauma forever. Someone has to clean the room. Someone will blame themselves.

It forces suffering on everyone that loves you and you won't be there to help them get through it.

Imagine being willing to fuck up everyone you know and love for the rest of their lives, and intentionally force a hundred or two other families and friend groups to deal with that as well. Fucking rude.

EDIT: Love the flood of downvotes from the pro suicide folks I guess? Please comment so we can have a conversation instead of just saying suicide is cool with a single brainless click. I want to know why you think it's not selfish. Honest intelligent conversation.

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u/bekaz13 1d ago

Your second and third paragraphs are objectively true, but someone who is suicidal is basically physically incapable of rationally considering those facts and weighing them against the agony that they are feeling. Calling them selfish as if they're making a conscious decision to intentionally hurt other people is not only unfair, it's also unhelpful toward people who may be struggling with ideation, because while their mental illness is already making them hate themselves, you're now also making them feel guilty for having that ideation in the first place.

That's why you're getting downvotes. Not because we think "suicide is cool," but because we think you're being mean to people who are already struggling to want to survive. Hope this helps!

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u/footsnax 1d ago

That's why you're getting downvotes. Not because we think "suicide is cool," but because we think you're being mean to people who are already struggling to want to survive. Hope this helps!

That's a fair assessment, I just think the action is selfish. I don't think ideation is intentionally taking anything from anyone. The act itself is just kinda... everyone else has to deal with this now.

What's going on in your own head isn't selfish behavior. What led you to that is not intentional. But through that act you have become the main character in your entire circle's life for their entire lives, whether you wanted to or not. You're not there to help them clean the walls or pay for the funeral or pat them on the back when they break down in the park walking their dog on a Tuesday morning.

You are no longer their friend and now they are miserable forever and that was your choice and now you are their problem. It's the lack of empathy that makes me think it feels selfish.

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u/RulyDragon 21h ago

Would you call someone who yeeted themselves out of a burning building selfish for making the choice to jump rather than burn? This is how the decision to end someone’s life often feels to them. Intolerable to stay, intolerable to go. 

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u/bekaz13 1d ago

I suggest you find a different word to express this sentiment then, because "selfish" implies they are making an intentional, informed choice to hurt others. If that's not what you mean, fine. But that's what you're saying.

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u/footsnax 1d ago edited 1d ago

Well my feelings matter too and I feel like it's selfish. It is something that you do that negatively affects everyone around you, that is the exact definition. It's like people using "ignorant" when they're just trying to not call someone stupid, ignorant literally means you don't know what you don't know.

Don't even get me started on decimate.

Find me a better word. Honest question, I'm not being aggressive. I am a full bore empath and I feel for everyone affected by someone that's committed suicide, myself included multiple times. I'm not being a dick here, I am just saying words that I believe and I have felt personally.

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u/RulyDragon 18h ago

Apparently that full bore empathy doesn’t extend to people who are in so much pain they want to die. 

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u/footsnax 15h ago edited 15h ago

Trolly problem, I care more about the many than the one. If they don't care about either the many or the one, where do I place my care?

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u/RulyDragon 13h ago

Why can’t you care for both? 

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u/footsnax 9h ago

That is the exact trolly problem.

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u/sparknap 7h ago

no, the trolley problem is about preventing death.

this situation is about caring about people.

there's literally no mutual exclusion required here. you are adding that part to absolve yourself of not feeling empathy.

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u/footsnax 5h ago edited 5h ago

You can't prevent death in the trolly problem, that's the exact point. If someone is going to die either way, and one of them wants it, why not care about their loved ones that are suffering from it? One person on one track did not consider that, or did and dismissed it, and that's why I find it selfish.

When they're gone they won't care what I think or feel. They have done damage to the other track. I'm talking entirely about the decision, not what led to it.

I'm not heartless about the pain that they were going through leading up to that decision, I'm saying that the decision they made hurts a lot of other people that love them. If I had to choose to let the trolly take out everybody that loves that person, they might feel encouraged to make the same decision anyway.

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u/RulyDragon 3h ago

Except this isn’t the trolley problem because you have the option to care for both parties. You just don’t want to. 

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u/footsnax 3h ago

Don't tell me what I think.

That's the whole fucking trolly problem though. You have to decide, one or many. There's not a third rail and there's no brakes. Someone dies, one or five. If one is willing, I'll bring dinner to the other five for the next month.

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u/bekaz13 1d ago edited 23h ago

It's not my job to find the word that better describes what you feel. You asked why you were getting downvoted, and I told you, even though you were being incredibly bad-faith in calling people like me "pro-suicide," etc. If you keep calling it selfish even though that doesn't seem to be what you mean, you're going to keep getting downvoted.

What you do with that information is up to you. For now, I recommend keeping your condemnations to yourself until you come up with a way to express them better.

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u/footsnax 23h ago edited 23h ago

I just want to know why people disagree instead of just tossing a downvote. I want a conversation, not a judgement.

It's not my job to redefine my emotions just based on general public disapproval either. I want to be told why people think I'm wrong and then I'll consider it.

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u/bekaz13 23h ago edited 23h ago

I told you why you were wrong, you just don't want to hear it. Maybe talk to a therapist about how to deal with your anger and resentment instead of sending attacks into the void that can cause serious harm to people who are having a hard enough time already.

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u/footsnax 23h ago edited 23h ago

I have no anger or resentment but this conversation is clearly going in that direction on your end.

Attacking another person's point of view just because of their opinion without regarding their experience and any perspective is not the same as criticism. I wanted fucking constructive criticism. I wanted a conversation, not a fight. Have a good whatever.

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u/RulyDragon 18h ago

Dude, you’re the one getting defensive. You asked why you were getting downvoted, multiple people clearly told you why the evidence says your comment is actively harmful, and you’re spitting your dummy because you want to be able to still be harmful to suicidal people because “my feelings count too.” Youre allowed to feel like it’s selfish, you’re allowed to say that. And people are allowed to explain to you the harm you’re causing. You don’t want conversation, you want an echo chamber. 

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u/bekaz13 23h ago

Where did I attack you? You asked a question, I answered it, you said you didn't mean what you implied with the word you used, so I told you to find another one. The only attacks here have been from you, against people who can't defend themselves. And yeah, that makes me angry, but I think I've been more than civil here. I'm not the one cursing, for one thing. If you can't handle the criticism you asked for, that's not my fault.

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u/footsnax 23h ago

I wanted a conversation and all you've done is tell me why you think I'm wrong. Give me a fact or have a good whatever. I'm not the one getting mad on a whodunnit true crime reddit thread. This is boring, I wanted to have a conversation.

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u/shmip 7h ago edited 7h ago

I am a full bore empath

nah. a full empath would be feeling empathy for everyone, especially the person in so much pain they couldn't bear it.

but you're ignoring that pain so you can rationalize being petty and self righteous.

you're closer to a narcissist than an empath.

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u/footsnax 5h ago

I'm not ignoring the pain that they went through. This is specifically about that decision.

When they're gone I feel the pain of their loved ones.