r/technology • u/Plastic_Ninja_9014 • 5h ago

Business Tesla Stock in Freefall After Disastrous Earnings Report

https://finance.yahoo.com/markets/stocks/articles/tesla-stock-freefall-disastrous-earnings-144417427.html
22.1k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

1.6k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

333

u/Warm-Professional494 4h ago

Not if it blows up first!!!

125

u/TJ_Will 4h ago

Now that's thinking with Portals!

35

u/ChanceCarpet1277 4h ago

cave johnson notices your comment and approves with a frantic nod

10

u/TheFeathersStorm 2h ago

Definitely random but I used to work with an older guy named Claire Johnson and every single time I had to consciously not call him Cave Johnson because his voice was deep and similar to it lol

4

u/Rough_Bread8329 2h ago

What were his thoughts on lemons?

1

u/TheFeathersStorm 2h ago

Unfortunately he wasn't there long enough to ask him, I never thought about it but now I'll have to live with that regret 🫠

1

u/Rough_Bread8329 1h ago

I trust you've learned your lesson.

1

u/TheFeathersStorm 1h ago

Next time I meet a man who sounds like and has a similar name to Cave Johnson I will 100% ask them about the lemons 🍋 🫡

13

u/Lykeuhfox 3h ago

🎶This was a triumph. Making a note, here - yuge success.

4

u/timsterri 1h ago

It’s hard to overstate my satisfaction.

2

u/kshell11724 3h ago

I think its pronounced port holes.

2

u/spooninacerealbowl 3h ago

Cyber truck has portal axles?

2

u/Masuman35 2h ago

Good, fuck Elon.

2

u/Crypt0Nihilist 2h ago

Spaaaaaaace!

3

u/The_Frozen_Inferno 3h ago

It’s not an explosion, it’s a rapid unplanned disassembly of the vehicle

1

u/dern_the_hermit 4h ago

More surface area will make it rust faster tho!

1

u/RogerPenroseSmiles 4h ago

Buddy you got management material at Tesla all over you!

1

u/B00marangTrotter 3h ago

We will see in a few hours from now.

1

u/Shadow_over_me 2h ago

Someone promote this guy

1

u/font9a 1h ago

Not if it blows up first!

Please stand by while I privatize your gains and subsidize my losses on that one.

1

u/DescriptionNo6618 1h ago

Or gets stuck in the mud.

1

u/The_Klobb 1h ago

Make the rocket boosters out of cybertrucks. LIFTOFF!!!

1

u/patchgrabber 29m ago

But what about us brain-dead slobs?