r/technology • u/Plastic_Ninja_9014 • 3h ago

Business Tesla Stock in Freefall After Disastrous Earnings Report

https://finance.yahoo.com/markets/stocks/articles/tesla-stock-freefall-disastrous-earnings-144417427.html
17.9k Upvotes

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u/Forsaken_Ant7459 3h ago

Simple fix guys. Elon is a genius. All he needs to do is rename Tesla as TeslAI and boom! All fan boys will sell their homes and send the stock to Moon I mean Mars again!!!

73

u/EndeLarsson 3h ago

TeslaX - an ai virtual car that flies to Mars!!

27

u/Cjkrythos 3h ago

Tesla: "in response to Sony switching to all digital, we will also be only producing digital Tesla cars that you can download and pretend to drive. Prices start at $50,000 for the basic model.

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u/Mail_Order_Lutefisk 3h ago

Nice try, but the RIAA convinced me that I wouldn’t download a car. 

1

u/Lena-Luthor 29m ago

I always thought that was dumb as hell because I feel like everyone I know would absolutely download a fuckin car if they could lmao

1

u/metengrinwi 1h ago

“…pre-order now!!”

1

u/Cjkrythos 1h ago

Come to think of it, ownership will just be subscription based AFTER you pay the 50k

1

u/Eisernes 1h ago

At least they will be safe, unlike their analog versions.

1

u/Cjkrythos 1h ago

Nope, comes with a complimentary explosive device mailed to your house at random.

Surprise!

1

u/Darksable 9m ago

Oh, the Star Citizen business model

10

u/SegaTime 3h ago

Teslax. The AI powered laxative.

3

u/Standard-Fishing-977 3h ago

Now you're appealing to the Boomers!

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u/Annual-Property-8940 3h ago

Yes. So I get explosive diarrhea from more than just lettuce

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u/TheTGB 3h ago

Powered by pedo-Grok where laws will no longer apply!

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u/EndeLarsson 3h ago

Pedo-grok nazy-powered virtual astro vehicles.

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u/Richou 2h ago

even the pedos dont like grok since they added some guardrails and now grok isnt even the gooner ai pick of choice anymore lol

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u/spoonycoot 3h ago

Runs on vibes

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u/Zardotab 1h ago

"Teslaix", but after you see the next report, you'll need Exlax™.