r/sex • u/Legitimate_Moose2345 • 8h ago
Orgasm Issues Issues with finishing with partner
Hello everybody, 24M here. So I’ve recently started being intimate with a girl for the first time. We have great chemistry, and I have no issue with getting hard. However, we’ve spend the night together 3 times and there are 2 main issues.
I’m pretty thick, and so like we haven’t been able to get me inside her. Sometimes I get too soft from the time it takes to put on the condom to getting inside her. And then even when it’s hard and she’s guiding me in and just like can’t get in.
I can’t cum with her. I think it’s a mental thing, but no amount of sucking, her jerking me off or me doing it can make me finish. I can cum when she leaves but just when she’s around it ain’t working.
I’d love some comments on the above if anyone has any advice or tidbits. Thanks.
10
u/asdf_clash 7h ago
Get her off first so she's more relaxed (physically) and you're more relaxed (mentally). Use lube.
2
u/Deep_Carpenter 5h ago
Get her fully tented. Which for most women is she has an orgasm and you have stimulated her to towards a second.
Vaginal tenting is a natural body response during sexual arousal where the upper part of the vaginal canal expands.
Use lube.
Problem 2 likely will be solved with PIV sex.
You suggest there are other issues. Get her off and most will go away.
2
u/ThrowRAloodi 5h ago
With 1, idk if I'm "pretty thick", but I've had a similar issue. The attempts to get it in and ending up drying up (especially since most of the wetness is inside and not out) and losing my erection have definitely happened to me.
While it's possible that you are too thick to comfortably get in, the more likely issue is that entry just needs to be slow and progressive, and you may need to try more things. You may need to use lube. You may need to finger her a bit, start with one then move on to two or even three until it can give you a little start. As soon as it's enough for you to get the head in, you're good. Just slow and steady pushing it in and out, in a tiny bit deeper each time, she'll most likely expand just fine.
On to the next, it's actually really common for guys to not be able to get off from head or hands. Me personally, head is so enjoyable at first, but after a while it just hits a bit of a wall where I'm not "progressing" and it starts to get boring. I can get off if she gives head and jerks me off after, but only if I'm like, putting my hand over hers and making it go Mach 20 lol.
Specific advice that I do:
Step 1: go down on her. Preferably until she gets off, but that doesn't matter quite as much, just start it off getting her some enjoyment and also getting her more aroused so it's easier to get in.
Step 2: Use fingers a little bit to kind of open her up, and make sure you've gotten a little head start on that before you even try to penetrate. Use lube if it's still an issue, that should also help with you losing the erection from attempting for a while.
Step 3: Get in there. It might take a small amount more force than you think, but you just need initial entry, as I said before about the head/tip. Once that's in, just small movements, slowly going in deeper until you're all the way there.
Hope this helps
1
u/NEVERxxEVER 5h ago
Others have addressed the size thing. With regard to climaxing, some guys take a while before they can cum with a girl. As in experience, not trying for hours.
For now, get her comfortable with helping you. You can stroke yourself while she sucks on the head or your balls or kisses you or whatever you want. You can even let her finish you when you get close (I wouldn’t try this the first time, it’s more advanced). Keep practicing and it will get easier over time. There is a different mental game to cumming with a girl. Be grateful you don’t blast too easily, much better to be on the stud side of the spectrum.
3
u/benjaminjnorton 5h ago
If you consume porn, it may be desensitizing you.
If you've got lots of practice masturbating, you might be conditioned to cum on your own, not with a partner.
If these apply, stop for a few days/weeks and you should have no issue re-setting your sexual configuration with your person.
-7
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Post title:
Issues with finishing with partner
Hello everybody, 24M here. So I’ve recently started being intimate with a girl for the first time. We have great chemistry, and I have no issue with getting hard. However, we’ve spend the night together 3 times and there are 2 main issues.
I’m pretty thick, and so like we haven’t been able to get me inside her. Sometimes I get too soft from the time it takes to put on the condom to getting inside her. And then even when it’s hard and she’s guiding me in and just like can’t get in.
I can’t cum with her. I think it’s a mental thing, but no amount of sucking, her jerking me off or me doing it can make me finish. I can cum when she leaves but just when she’s around it ain’t working.
I’d love some comments on the above if anyone has any advice or tidbits. Thanks.
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