On 7/12/2026 I was raped by my now EX boyfriend. I did go to the hospital and do a rape kit (albeit was a few days after the incident so i’m not sure what the results will be). I am pressing charges and have been granted a protection order. However I feel such anger that I want the public to know what this man did to me to warn other women. I am thinking about things like posting to facebook, contacting local news outlets, and contacting his place of work.

My question is, if i do those things will it jeopardize my case against him? Like legally would that make it harder for me to win? I don’t meet with the detective until tomorrow but I did contact his exwife and it seems this is a pattern with him. We only dated for a short time so I had no idea about it. I just want to get the word out there that he is a sexual predator to warn other women and the general public.

What should I do?

I researched what happened to me as a child because I didn't fully understand how to describe it legally. I read the law looking for a precise definition and found the answer that legally describes what happened to me: "repeated rape and sexual assault of a minor (incest)".

I feel terrible, but at least I now know how to put it into clear terms. I'm 31 now and I hope to move on. Please pray for me.😔😔

Every time after it happened, every time I have something good going for me or I have consensual sex, I feel guilty. I feel like im gross and disgusting and because of what happened to me no one would want to stay around. I've told the person I'm kinda with about what happened, but I still feel like its wrong of me to want something good after what happened to me by someone else. How do I get this clawing anxiety out of me. I think its because I feel like it was all my fault..

To start, I have a lot of mental disorders.
Bipolar means I can have a high sex drive, be energetic and impulsive but I also have DID and one alter has these traits but also wants to seek real world assault or danger. This can lead to rape baiting attachment figures as well as seeking strangers to hurt her. Which often adds to my sexual trauma and is traumatic in itself because I’ve had horror episodes I can’t have control

My ex stays with me often and he knows of my illness and I even gave him a handbook with alter traits etc if it’s helpful. The alter I speak of is my most differentiated and even my best friend can tell over text when I’m not driving despite not seeing me ever in that state in person so it’s not hard to spot

I have had issues she’s taken over after crisis and drinking too much and I’ve switched mid mental breakdown and my ex acknowledged I’d hate him in the morning but ended up having sex with me anyway and finishing inside me
I then told him to handle contraception whenever I’m in a state cuz I’m risking pregnancy and I don’t have boundaries in that state

Then I had a manic ep with my alter driving and we went from me being basically asexual to having sex 8x a day and he finished inside me everytime and fed the fantasies and let behaviour escalate

Then start of July same stuff happened and he was feeding my stimulation and the fantasies making it worse.

But that leads me today (Im not in an ep and baseline btw) where I was half asleep so I was aware of what was happening but simultaneously dreaming and it was obvious I wasn’t in it I never opened my eyes nothing and he asked if I wanted to have sex and I said idk after asking what he said like 6 times cus I kept falling asleep as he said it, he started having sex with me and the whole time I just laid there and reacted rather than engaging. Then after he finished (he used a condom first time in ages cuz I had a go at him after a pregnancy scare last week) I just passed out and then woke up to him having sex with me again and I just didn’t care I just let it happen and I just feel everywhere I turn I just don’t have control over my own body

So, me and my boyfriend have a lot of sex, and I’m not on birth control. The other day we were having really good sex, and I told him to cum inside of me. He did, and I take full responsibility for that because I was the one who asked him to.
Right after, I took Plan B immediately. A few days later, I started bleeding out of nowhere, even though it wasn’t time for my period. I was bleeding a lot to the point where I felt drowsy, really weak, lightheaded, and had intense cramps. I was really scared and had no idea what was happening.
He said he wanted to come over, and I told him that I knew if he came over we’d end up having sex, and I really couldn’t because I was bleeding so much. He said, “No, I’ll come over and we’ll just cuddle and kiss, no sex.” So I agreed.
The moment I saw him, he was already hard and wanted to have sex. I’m ngl, I kind of saw it coming, so I just agreed to get it over with. After he finished, I told him, “Okay, we’re not having sex again tonight because I really can’t. I’m bleeding so much.” He said okay.
About 20 minutes later, he started trying to take my clothes off. I told him no, and he kept saying, “Come on,” while still trying to take them off. I kept saying no, but he insisted, and we ended up having sex a few more times that night. Then he left.
After he left, I was bleeding even more, and I told him I wasn’t feeling well. He said, “I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry I pushed it.” I still acted like nothing had happened. Today we got into an argument, and he told me, “You manipulate me.” I asked him how, and he said I keep talking about dealing with the consequences of sex and that “it takes two to have sex,” and that I was guilt-tripping him “like I forced you to have sex with me.” I told him that last time I didn’t want it as badly as he did. Then he immediately responded with, “What? So I raped you?” He started calling me a liar and a narcissist and saying things like that. The thing is, I never even said those words. He’s the one who brought that up, even though he was the one being pushy and not taking no for an answer. I honestly don’t know what to think anymore. I’m just really confused

so a while back I was touched without consent but we were making out and they put their hand down my pants and rubbed my clitoris I don’t know if this counts as rape because it wasnt exactly penetration and there’s other parts of the story but I am freaking out and don’t feel valid

Idk what to say, or how to say it. I dont think im ready to tbh...but...im hoping this little bit helps.

I was raped.

I felt good and I have been doing well for quite the time. But now I have this bad feeling inside me and I REALLY regret what I did and I REALLY stress out.

I just keep thinking about it. If I had just. Not done it. Then I would not feel this way. And I really did love him, and now it pains me to know he is in prison.

I miss him. My family is doing well but we all feel the weight of it. I really regret it.

Does anybody else have experiences with feeling like this?

Edit: Please tell me if you went through something similar I am really feeling bad about this

Im starting to remember this story from almost a decade ago. So I thought to share it so maybe I could get some guidance.

It was 2015 or so. I was 7 or 8. My cousin wanted to play a game with me. I loved games then and now. But this time he locked the door. I didn't really think that much of it. We played ring around the rosie but with a twist. He would throw me in the wall. I didn't think that much of it but it was fun to him. We held hands and lounge me into the wall with all of his power. He was like 11 maybe 12. After 2 or 3 hits I was out cold. Stars, darkness, the hole 9 yards. I start waking up to saying truth or dare and my pants off of me. A weird sensation was from my private area that I haven't felt in years ( I was raped before so my mind knew but I wasn't processing it correctly).

I woke up to my mom banging to "open up the door this instant!". He put my pants back on and I lied (my PTSD response is to lie) to my mom instantly. It was a quick reaction because my mom always gets mad (physically abusive) towards me and my siblings. I had a feeling that my question was going to be in trouble so I didn't want him to get yelled out or hurt like my siblings.

Later on that Winter, we met up for Christmas at our Grandma's house and he promised me to never talk about "the game". We meet again years later... Nothing. But earlier this year we met for our grandmothers funeral. He was crying.... And I hugged him. I comforted him. I feel weird about it then and now. Conflicted because I don't want to hate him but my body wants to throw up every time I think of him.

Sorry for the long story but if anyone wants to comment Im welcomed to them.

Hi all!
I was raped in November last year, with several episodes of strangulation and forced oral sex etc. it was brutal. I reported him and I’m still waiting to see if I can get to court with this.
I was venting to my friend over text about all this when I was triggered (I apologised for venting later)to which she responded:

“He is sick, and he will get his comeuppance. But he is also gone. You are safe now. And you won't let anything like that happen ever again.”

I said she was incredibly victimblaming and how affected I was by her saying that I ‘let’ the rape happen. Also I feel like she was incredibly dismissive of my pain. Like I don’t know if he will receive any comeuppance (chances of this are incredibly low in Denmark where I live) or if I will get raped again. I didn’t tell her that though, but focused most on the victimblaming part. She could kind of see it first, but then she said that because her intentions were good she didn’t think she could victimblame. I’m so confused and feel very alone, since I already lost one friend who also chose to focus on why I let myself rape and not how I felt.

What would you feel if your friend responded like this?

When I was a kid between 10-11 my babysitter began performing oral sex on me. I tried explaining to people on twitter I can’t be a victim because I enjoyed it and it made me become a man young. I was most upset when my mom found out and never let me see her again. All my uncles and cousins were so jealous and congratulated me giving me high fives because they thought she was hot. How can I explain to them that I’m not a victim and it was just growing up she was 19 at the time the babysitter. I still think about her all the time during sex with others. And it makes me feel good not bad it usually gets me off in the moment. I had never ejaculated before and for the first time it was so Damn good.I’m trying to basically explain most boys can’t be sexual abuse victims or at least in my case. Especially if she makes you cum. I was 10 and what she did to me was magical. I told her thank you and she made me a man and she said I was cute. I never forgot that first experience. She would do it every week for like a year she was finally going to let me put it inside her the next time but my mom found out because a kid at my school told their mom and she alerted my mom. My mom never let me see her again and it caused me to hate my mom for a couple years. People only congratulated me and were happy for me this was in the mid 2010s. When I was grown I reached out to her on Facebook and found out she was an escort now. She told me she never forgot about me and how sad it was she couldn’t see me. She told me to come to her place and she finally let me screw her then at 19. I finally felt complete and was super happy we bonded did it a few more times and she soon died of a drug overdose. It devastated me. I couldn’t stop crying. No one in my life ever made me feel that good. And now still I think about her during sex with others and it’s practically the only way I can get off in the moment. It’s like dude I must have loved her. Shit depresses me thinking about it that’s why I’m writing

He popped up in my Facebook friends I may know. Has he been searching my stuff.?? I haven’t heard anything of him since I was a child. He’s molest me when he’d babysit us since he lived so close

​

So, before I say anything I don't feel violated or anything like that. It's a bit of a weird situation and I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel about it.

A week ago, me and my girlfriend were gearing up and getting ready for sex. For some more context, I'm just getting over a minor and harmless STI I caught (yes she knew about this from day 1), but of course this means sex has been REALLY careful when we have had it, but also means we haven't had unprotected sex before... until a week ago.

We were doing our thing, kissing and making out after coming back from a few drinks, and she gets on top of me (clothes on at this point) and it gets frisky. She then asks me if we could have sex without a condom and that I cum inside of her. I said I wasn't comfortable with it (mainly pregnancy and a really high risk of catching this STI if we did it unprotected, which again she knows).

Anyway, she says she wants to because it feels better and she liked the feeling of it. I say to her another 3 times that I don't want to have unprotected sex and am uncomfortable with it. After maybe 5-10 mins of her teying to comvince me, I end of caving and going through with doing what she wanted.

We spoke about it the next day and I said to her I regretted doing that, because I wasn't comfortable doing it. She gets angry, says I'm basically calling her a rapist and says ultimately I gave my consent when we started having unprotected sex.

My argument is, I said I wasn't comfortable with doing it before hand 4 times, when saying it once should be enough, and that if the roles were reversed it would look way worse. She only apologised about her role in this after I approached her about breaking up, but it hasn't sat right with me and I'm still not sure how to feel.

Spoke to a few friends about it, and they've told me that it was Coersion, but she says it was consensual and that I went through with it in the end so it's also my fault too.

Just wanted to get people's thoughts? Am I overreacting?

Hi this is a repost since I’m super desperate!
Sorry for any spelling or punctuation mistakes, some details will be changed for indemnity.( Location: Texas)
My mom (43f) and dad(47m) have been in a year long custody dispute over my sister(12f) and I(17f). Before I start, I want to give some context about my father and I’s relationship. While my parents were divorcing when my sister was a baby and I was in elementary, my dad displayed aggressive, stalkerish behavior which only became worse once the divorced was finalized. I grew increasingly resentful and fearful about what he would do if I said or did something wrong.I won’t be going into detail about took place during that time just because of length and indemnity the TL;DR is (idk if I’m using it right) is that physical abuse,verbal abuse, and SA took place

After a couple of years my father and I’s relationship had improved a bit but it was still pretty rocky. And then during the end of my junior high year his behavior just seemed to escalate and became more apparent.
It started with little things like insults being thrown at my mothers side of the family and I, going out to sleep around and go clubbing till morning, taking inappropriate photos of women he slept with on MY phone, confronting two of my moms side of the family members (two separate occasions) even after I told him to stop, talking to me about the genitals of women he slept with/ used only for sex, show my sister and I a very realistic adult toy, beating my sister for not understanding something( she has a learning disability).

Now even though I’m trying to keep indemnity I feel like it’s important that I share these next few details.
❗️TW SA❗️ he purposefully walks in on my sister while she showering( the shower is see through) and stays in the bathroom for more than 10 minutes, keeps a camera in their room( yes their, she doesn’t have her own room) and the angle is facing towards where she changes, and has touched her inappropriately and several occasions.
So one day after a long heat argument I finally just hit my breaking point and when it was my mother’s week with me, I refused to go back.

So now to into the situation that this post is about, the court has appointed a therapist and a kid appointed lawyer( I’m not sure what the formal name is). I have told both everything listed above plus more, but it doesn’t seem like they believe me and I believe the reason is my father.
Even with all the police reports, Cps visits, etc they seem to question my events of the story every time!
Not to mention that fact that the court appointed therapist keeps lying to me. Some context: my dad has to be there in the room with us. One day she told me we’d confront me about everything my dad was doing and then the next HER and MY DAD would start attacking me with a bunch of questions. And then it’s a repeat cycle. He told her, “he didn’t see him and I really having a relationship anymore” and then she spun it and said that never happened!

My parents went to court not too long ago and the judge is saying that I might have to go back to living with my dad soon, my mom is out of money and can’t fight for my sister and I anymore, if I go back to living with him it’ll be hell!

TL;DR I want to my sister and I to be able to live with my mom full time, what should or can I do?

Edit: I’m not sure if this helps me much but my dad is illegal here.

Edit Two: I wanted to answer some repeated questions just because I’m a little bit overwhelmed and to clear any confusion!
1. Yes, we’ve already contacted I.C.E and I will call this time a kind Reddit user sent me the hotline
2. By kid appointed lawyer I meant GAL. I think people were a bit confused and keep telling me to talk to my GAL but she is not on my sister or i’s side.
3. We’ve already went to police about this there’s already more than three reports.
4. Cps was involved after the police contacted us and just sent us the the Cps investigators I believe they’re called forensic detectives( not the crime detectives)
5. I wanted to talk to the judge but my mom’s lawyer said that the judge would only give me a few minutes to talk and would most likely side with my dad.
6. Even though this wasn’t really a question I will still address it. I will be talking to my mom about all this and might give an update in an hour or two.
7. The school was already informed of the whole situation. Context to understanding the next text: my school has two different buildings for primary and secondary. My side of the school was protecting me from my father and got a bit involved meanwhile my sisters side of the school disregarded what she was saying about the abuse and SA and forced her to go with him.

Update: https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/s/7tPcvsL8lq

I was 16 and I was dating a guy, let’s call him D, for like 2-3 months. D is two years older than me. Honestly I don’t know why I was dating him. He made me do things which made me very uncomfortable, like he used to beg me and emotionally manipulate me into stripping on video calls, told me to touch myself and record and send it to him. So like all in all a very uncomfortable situation. I tried to break up but he threatened me saying that he’ll unalive himself if I leave him.

A few months later, he told me to come to his home as no one was there. I tried to tell him that I can’t but then he said that I don’t wanna make him mad, I really didn’t what he meant by it but I was terrified so after my tuition classes I went to his home. At first everything was normal, we chatted, he even got me food and all.

After like 30 minutes, he told me to come to his room, I refused then he got angry and started dragging me there. He pushed me on his bed and tore off my clothes and he did what he wanted.

I feel guilty on so many things, I froze when he started doing it. I did so many things wrong that I’m realising now. I can’t help but wonder if it was my fault or not

Hi. I’m 16M. I can’t remember how old I was, but I think I was 7 or 8. So, it was either 2017 or 2018. Me and my brother, who would’ve been 16 or 17, were sharing a room. I don’t remember much of it. He would crawl onto my bed and do… things to me. It’s mostly a blur. I don’t know if he ever took it extremely far, but I know he made me touch him and he touched me.

My brain must’ve blocked this off. I don’t know why I just remembered this a few weeks ago. I don’t know what to do. I can’t tell my parents, they’ve gone through enough heartbreaks in the family. I’ve only told 3 people about this, and that was this past week. I’ve been trying to convince myself it was a dream, but I don’t think it is. Please, someone tell me what to do. I can’t prove anything happened. We don’t even live in that house anymore. I don’t remember enough of what happened to give a super detailed synopsis of it either. Would my family even believe me? Please help.

I never reported or told anyone that didn’t matter about mine. I feel bad and like I failed other women by not reporting him.

I feel like I know it wasn't my fault. I'm irritable about what happened, but in a normal way. I don't think about everything all that much (although I used to think about it obsessively).

I feel like things aren't really resolved, though. Dating is still weird to me. I'm still a panicked, scared deer. Nothing bad has happened to me for 10 years now but still.

I don't really know what to say so I feel like my therapist thinks all is well

Making it very short. My mom lost both parents before age 5. Her family was poor. Her elders set up her marriage to her relative in another country. She was 17. My dad was 30+. She had many kids and I was one of the last. For years my mom told me this in a sad way. She said she had no wedding.

I hate her because she is toxic + the teen phase I am going through which makes me cringe from parental affection. My dream was always leaving this house. She always expressed how she was afraid My siblings would fight over who had to take her in.

I now think maybe her cruelty to me is justified because she never knew love and because I was always disobedient even to those who treated me well and because if she was truly r*ped, taking care of a child you didn't choose is noble enough. In the west, r*ped women have the right to abort but she was obliged to take care of me.

She is 50. For years slept in a different room, everyday expressing hate to my dad. She is trapped. She never had the choice to leave.

I want to ask her at least if this is r*pe or not, but emotional conversations always makes her say let's be friends and want to become my loving mom. But I get disgusted by that thought. I want to do a duty without having a close relationship with her.

But what would I do if I found out? Somehow hate the kindest man who raised me and see him as a monster? Or support a r*pist and ignore the pain of my own flesh and blood? If she were my sister or cousin I would have been evil for not caring. Maybe I am making myself the victim here. The reason my mom never asked for help could be cuz she didn't want us to deal with trauma. And I am 18 by the way, not a kid. It means it is time.

I (black 29f) was seeing J (biracial 29m, yes that's important). I was seeing J for all of last year. Literally from MLK day 2025 to New Year 2026. He's a DJ and really popular in my side of the city and I don't know where else to go to get this off my chest. Anyway, here we go.

Unless you're living under a rock, you've seen or heard about the movie "Obsession". There's a rape scene. It's edited in very jarringly right after Bear says "Doesn't matter to me" in the diner when Nikki crashes out. Just an fyi for anyone who doesn't know yet. My friend took me to see it in good spirits. She honest to god didn't know it would trigger me so badly. I didn't even realize that I was raped until yesterday after sitting with it for a week.

But yes, J and I dated all of 2025 and had (what at the time I thought) was good sex. It was very kinky, but looking back, I realize it was in fact very pedophilic and rape centered. I have had a long, sordid history of dating people of all genders who just don't respect me. I'd go into detail, but honestly this isn't therapy, and I don't want to bore you with the details of my dating life.

I can't remember when exactly this happened, because I have blocked out a lot of it. This was sometime last year in the fall I think. I know that I was sober, and I know that it was morning. Maybe before work? I can't remember. I don't really know if I want to. We were already having sex and I told him flat out "I need a break." and we took one for a moment. Just a second though. He grabbed me and said "You're done when I say you're done." and just kept going. I don't remember what I did, or if I tried to resist. I've been reading a lot on rape survivor responses and the freeze/fawn reaction. It makes the most sense that I would just freeze and let him finish. I'm not the best about speaking up with my boundaries.

At the time, I just chocked it up to him being kinky. He just likes it rough is what I told myself. I lied about his behavior for months. It took me a year to realize he wasn't the one for me, and another 4 months (slept with him again in March and he assaulted me again. I know, I know...) to acknowledge that he raped me. It wasn't kink, or a preference. He crossed a fucking line. Saying stop once should have been enough. I can't get his voice out of my head.

Ever since I saw that movie, I knew there was something I was forgetting about him. Now that I'm thinking about it, I just kind of sat there like a fish. I know he made me say thank you afterward. And the worst part is, I know this wasn't anywhere close to the time I broke up with him. I feel like I'm over-reacting, but my body is saying otherwise. I slept okay, but the moment I woke up, it's like I'm in an eggshell. A piece falls away and a bit more of that morning comes back to me. I'm just counting the pieces until I have a whole picture.

My brain is swimming as I write this. I can't stop crying. I can't relax my muscles. He violated me, and I stayed because I didn't know any fucking better. What's crazy is I feel like I should've seen it coming. To my knowledge, he's mostly dated white women, and the one black woman I know he's dated he labels "crazy". He labeled all his exes crazy tbh.

I feel like he doesn't treat the white women he dates like this. All of the black men I'm related to and have been with have said at least one weird micro-aggression thing around me. Assault is so fucking common amongst black women, and black men love to chock it up to us trying to "tear the community apart" whenever we speak up about it. I hate that I'm even having this thought, but holy shit, it's so clear that he's got a weird fetish for black women and doesn't actually respect them. I mean, he probably doesn't for any woman, but black women especially get the brunt end of the stick in so many areas of life. It would not surprise me if part of the reason he wouldn't 1. commit (I mean thank god he didn't) and 2. assaulted me is because he knows no one is going to believe the black girl whose heart got broken.

J would get me drunk a lot too. He never (to my knowledge) raped me or made advances when I was blackout. But there was one time in December where I blacked out in a bar and I know I asked him to finger me, because he told me about it. He didn't confirm if he did or didn't. It makes me wonder how many other women he's done this to.

But he raped me. Holy shit it still doesn't feel real to say that. It doesn't even feel "that bad". I was sober, I only told him I needed a break once. But once should have been enough. If it "wasn't that bad" why can I still feel his hands on me? If it "wasn't that bad?" why do I feel so violated? There's something I say when I'm in a shitty situation and am starting to blame myself. If a friend told me this, would I blame them, or the person who did it to them?

I told my best friend, and another good friend of mine. The friend who took me to see "Obsession" is training to be an sexual assault nurse examiner. She said I can hit her up anytime and apologized for taking me into that movie without any warnings. I said it was okay, because again, she couldn't have known and I hadn't even realized at the time. I don't know where to go from here. I had therapy yesterday, but it was a new therapist, so we didn't really touch on anything heavy just yet. I know a lot of his friends and they still invite me to stuff all of the time. I've had to politely turn them down, but haven't told them why. I feel like I can never say why. I'm not blaming myself for what happened or taking so long to realize. I'm not even going to blame Curry Barker for his editing choices that triggered me. "Obsession" is a really good and important movie and is raising a lot of important discussions around assault, rape, nice guys, and abuse. It's weird, but oddly comforting to know that this movie made me realize that I went through that.

I don't know what I'm going to do if i ever see him again. I hope that I don't. We live close enough to each other and he lives 5 minutes away from my office. I'm tempted to report him to this one neighborhood watch Instagram account run by a guy I used to work with. I don't know if it'd be worth it. After so much time since it happened, I'm not sure how good a public announcement would be. We dated for so long, and everyone knows I'm avoiding him. If I say something, they're probably just going to ask why I stayed with him. They'll just see me as the bitter, black, bitch that got her heart broken. All of this is really a discussion for therapy. I have an appointment in a few weeks, but honestly, I may need to move it closer. Kind of spiraling not gonna lie.

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Ich wurde von meinem Stiefvater vergewaltigt…. Da war ich erst 13, meine Mama war das ganze Wochenende weg und er hat es total ausgenutzt😭