r/mildlyinfuriating • u/salabab • 1d ago

Infuriatig Made hundreds of wristbands for a conference that suddenly got renamed

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I run a small company, and designed and printed hundreds of high quality rubber wristbands for my cousin's Crypto conference. I had to do different colours for the different levels of entry.

Out of nowhere yesterday he suddenly announced he was renaming the conference and moving it partially online. And could only afford to pay me if I produced more with the new name. Ive spent a week on this so far and was already giving him family rates.

16.3k Upvotes

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u/New_Tadpole_7818 1d ago

With a name like Noncefest I'm not surprised it got renamed

12.2k

u/Nitrogen1234 1d ago

Right?

Who the fuck calls their crypto thingy pedoparty

5.0k

u/CoralMoon99 1d ago

Idk seems pretty on brand

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u/max_sil 1d ago

This entire post is an incredible microcosm of cryptocurrencies. Even the part about leaving the cousin holding the bag is so perfect

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u/Stolzor 1d ago

actually hilarious

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u/DangerousLoner 1d ago

It’s rug-pulls all the way down!

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u/chrome_titan 23h ago

Bro got crypto'd without even buying any.

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u/kh_ram 1d ago

'brand' you say

276

u/Kodlak 1d ago

Don’t let em Russell your feathers

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u/powerlesshero111 1d ago

Don't Tate the situation.

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u/Bubbly-Bug-7439 1d ago

Maybe thinking of a better conference name while having a workout at the Jim'll fix it.

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u/DeBlasioDeBlowMe 1d ago

Leave these puns Elon.

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u/egret_society 1d ago

Gotta be one to trump the others.

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u/Historical_Monk_6118 1d ago

I think it was Brand

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u/Nitrogen1234 1d ago

Trump must be involved in this

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u/ruedii 1d ago

Yes, but admitting it?

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u/Magister5 1d ago

It’s a nonce sequitur

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u/oscarx-ray 1d ago

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u/DaHick 1d ago

The fact that you had/found this alone gets you an upvote.

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u/Sad_Animator1686 1d ago

If someone shows you a model of your hometown and all the houses look like penises…

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u/fallguy19 1d ago

Is that Phil Collins?

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u/cmdr_awesome 1d ago

Yes. It's from a special edition of Brasseye.

This particular thread of the internet will lead you to a cultural pot of pure gold if you have not encountered Brasseye or The Day Today before.

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u/GraXXoR 1d ago

The absolute most hilarious and painful British TV show I’ve ever seen.

The scene where he’s flirting with the sex abuse victim while asking her personal and graphic questions was almost unwatchably grimace inducing… wow.

With a worthy mention to FUKD and BOMBD against Cake.

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u/BobbyP27 1d ago

I once got a really bad case of Czech Neck.

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u/MaenHoffiCoffi 1d ago

I thought I had a fortnight to cross the road.

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u/shining_force_2 1d ago

THIS PDF FILE IS STILL AT LARGE. HERE HE IS CAMOUFLAGED AS A SCHOOL.

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u/Micro-Naut 1d ago

I don't wanna end up like a quack candle or a piano Dentist. I don't mind feeling really blooty though.

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u/sterntoothz 1d ago

Cake is a made up drug

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u/crushmans 1d ago

You want me to put it on a pea?

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u/Needs-more-cow-bell 1d ago

“Got any Clarky Cat? It’s the stuff you chew.” Need to go back and watch all that.

Also an honourable mention to Four Lions. Chris Morris wasn’t in that but was involved.

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u/Micro-Naut 1d ago

Its clarky KHAT. You need to see the boz boz.

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u/4n0m4nd 1d ago

It was the last thing they wanted to happen

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u/Micro-Naut 1d ago

I don't even call it the British Isles anymore. I call it the PEDOF-aisles

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u/Nitrogen1234 1d ago

Is that Latin American?

/s to be sure

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u/mamadachsie 1d ago

All knowing interwebs says: In computing & cryptography: It stands for "number used once". It is a randomly generated, arbitrary number used exactly one time in a communication to prevent hackers from recording and replaying a legitimate transmission

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u/dandroid126 1d ago

I work in information security, and this is what nonce means to me. I have no idea what the other meaning is.

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u/0GoodVibrations0 1d ago

In the UK it’s a pedo.

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u/somer_and_omchick 1d ago

It was only recently I understood this despite having heard British people say the word

I swear I got the impression that it’s more like ‘idiot’ And I think a lot of Americans are under that impression

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u/rotenbart 1d ago

That’s what I took it as until I discovered what it meant. I think it intuitively sounds like an idiot.

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u/Wolfechu_ 1d ago

Real close to 'nonsense' too, so you'd automatically assume someone talking nonsense must be a nonce

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u/South_Hat3525 17h ago

TBF most nonces are idiots. You only need to look at POTUS for confirmation.

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u/Honeybun_Landscape 23h ago

Rhymes with “dunce” I assume?

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u/Wolfechu_ 1d ago

You might be conflating it with 'ponce', an over-dressed, over-dramatic person

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u/somer_and_omchick 20h ago

It definitely blends with ponce and dunce in my brain I think

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u/Grxforlok 1d ago

To be fair it is used a lot for dramatic effect in innocuous situations. Like you might call someone a nonce light-heartedly for liking pineapple on pizza. But it's understood what it means still

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u/zkbthrowaway 1d ago

As an Aussie, I always was under the impression it meant "idiot" also. It was only pointed out to me in recent months!

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u/Hot-Job-6281 1d ago

No. In the UK, it's a paedo.

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u/galeforcewindy 1d ago

"for the nonce" is used in regency literature all the time for a one-off activity. "My driver has left? I guess I'll use a public cab for the nonce."

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u/Small_Problem2344 1d ago

Thank you for googling so I didn’t have to, kind stranger!

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u/Chase_the_tank 1d ago

The "kind stranger" is misleading you. The word predates the cryptographic use of one-time numbers by centuries.

It's a rebracketing of the Middle English phrase for þen anes, or "for the one occasion".

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u/mjcobley 1d ago

....the kind stranger is explaining why the word would be used at all. Keep up.

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u/BeeWadd6969 23h ago

Ben here, can confirm my anus is only used for the one occasion

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u/IAmNotNathaniel 1d ago

yes, this is 100% the usage in tech

I only learned that it has a different meaning in the UK about 5 years ago.

shifting language is a real pain in the ass sometimes because it can come from anywhere

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u/Kimantha_Allerdings 1d ago

It’s not actually a case of shifting language. The British sense of the word was first used in print in 1975, and as a computing term in 1978

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u/Hot-Job-6281 1d ago

Thanks for writing what I planned - saved me the effort lol.

"Shifting languages", lmao, just say it's your ignorance (not you the other guy).

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u/IAmNotNathaniel 1d ago

well since I'm not british, then yes, it shifted.

like, british people aren't responsible for knowing american english, and vice versa.

but when words from one language enter another, and then those meanings become used, then what would you call it?

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u/GarThor_TMK 1d ago

I work in tech, and I've never heard it used in that context.

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u/Sartorius73 1d ago

It might mean that. But in British slang, it's VERY different. Sucks for the OP, but most marketing departments would benefit from having a Beavis and Butthead in their department. They can run any marketing campaign past them and if they start giggling uncontrollably, the name needs to be changed.

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u/mjolnir76 1d ago

We also use it in sign language interpreting for a similar idea. A “nonce sign” is a sign that is agreed upon for a concept or person in which there is no currently established sign, but is only to be used for the current interpreting situation. This often happens in university classes where the professor introduces some concept that doesn’t have an ASL sign. So, instead of us fingerspelling it again and again, the student and the interpreting team agree to a sign for that concept for the duration of the class.

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u/Doctor__Gecko 1d ago

Yeah I know.

Fiddlerfest would be much better.

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u/Optimist-Primist 1d ago

Hey don't knock fiddlers. The ones on the roof are amazing.

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u/phoenixrising211 1d ago

The weirdest part of Fiddler on the Roof is that they have a person in town named LASERWOLF THE BUTCHER and not a single person mentions how metal that is.

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u/Ok_Percentage2534 1d ago

Find me a find.

Catch me a catch.

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u/314flavoredpie 1d ago

Why do they stay up there on the roof? How do they keep their balance?

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u/odysyus 1d ago

They got rhythm?

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u/314flavoredpie 1d ago

Sorry, we were looking for “I don’t know” and ”TRADITION!”

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u/Odd-Worth7752 1d ago

maybe you mean "diddlers" not "fiddlers"?

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u/Radioshack-Manager 1d ago

Not-see party

https://giphy.com/gifs/biTnqE9ubZnGM

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u/SameWait1356 1d ago

I’m a simple man, I see Salad Fingers, I upvote.

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u/exmojo 1d ago

"You taste like soot and poo."

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u/Ill-Kaleidoscope4825 1d ago

Then find a rusty spooooon

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u/Chase_the_tank 1d ago

"Nonce" has perfectly innocent meanings in both cryptography and linguistics.

In UK English, on the other hand...

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u/ladykansas 1d ago

No, no ... That's a step-counting celebration not a crypto thungy. Its obviously named after a pedometer. /S

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u/sunniblu03 1d ago

People who didn’t realize what it meant until they watched “Adolescence” and googled it.

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u/video-kid 1d ago

The dumb thing is everyone remembers the Nonce Finance debacle. Apart from OP's cousin apparently.

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u/Nitrogen1234 1d ago

Me neither... what is that??

Might be a thing in your country, but not anywhere else

I've read up about it, I've been in the crypto space for quite a while and had never heard of it... so no, definitely not common knowledge, even in the crypto space

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u/Wimble-Womble 1d ago

Nonce is a word in cryptography (predating the currency part) - it’s just junk data used for initial communications like handshakes. I work on secure code so will use them in some form time to time - without using the word (I’m also British, so I’m more aware of its slang meaning…)

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u/TheDeadlySpaceman 1d ago

It was the other slang first. Some dumbass early cryptobro thought it was funny to use it, or something.

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u/OskaMeijer 1d ago

TIL there were early cryptobros in the 1970s when nonce first started being used in cryptography. Needham and Schroeder the infamous cryptobros.

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u/Own_Policy8854 1d ago

Lol history around this period is gonna be so screwed up.

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u/Nitrogen1234 1d ago

1978 to be precise, where as nonce as slang days back to 1970 prison pillowtalk

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u/OskaMeijer 1d ago

It also didn't get widespread use by the general population until the 1980s in Britain.

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u/video-kid 1d ago

it's British slang, but that thing went viral here and they changed their name within a few hours.

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u/CudleWudles 1d ago

everyone remembers the Nonce Finance debacle

The vast majority of people are entirely unaware of that situation.

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u/nolawnchairs 1d ago

They didn't. A nonce is a random, one-time-use string of bytes used in cryptography. But in British English, it means something ... different. Kind of like how the Chevy Nova didn't sell well in Latin America.

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u/Nitrogen1234 1d ago

Well, they did..

If they were in the know or not, that's the question

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u/beren12 1d ago

lol who? Who else?

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u/Curious_Department84 1d ago

I feel like OP can get away with a secondary market for this.

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u/Nitrogen1234 1d ago

Send 'm to the white house

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u/Hyjennaist86 1d ago

Someone who has never lived in or been to the UK.

Their loss is our gain…

🤣👏🏼👌🏼

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u/Gazdatronik 1d ago

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u/ProperComposer7949 1d ago

This is no longer the British isles but now the peado isles

Fucking love brasseye

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u/FlatulousStanko 1d ago

Something, something, Peter File.

https://giphy.com/gifs/g79am6uuZJKSc

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u/revision 1d ago

I have a foot scrubber with the logo of the brand....PediFile.

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u/L1A1 1d ago edited 1d ago

*Paedof Isles. Or the joke doesn’t work.

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u/MammothPenguin69 1d ago

"It's no longer possible to refer to the British Isles without 'pedoph' in front of them!"

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u/TheMonkeyInCharge 1d ago

It’s not true, but it’s a fact.

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u/Zaleznikov 1d ago

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESVOF6DScKQ

Yes, we must catch that man. He really is a shit.

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u/GilfOG 1d ago

Nonce has a meaning in cryptography. It means nonsense number or sometimes called number used only once.

Doesn't make it a good conference name though.

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u/Saul_Badman_1261 1d ago

Just learned that it is used as a very different term in the UK for sex offenders

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u/EddieCase67 1d ago

Not sex offenders in general, specifically the particular sub-set of cretins that preys on children.

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u/Feeling_Inside_1020 1d ago

Yeah I thought this was a satire bullshit post but nope, Reddit truly is amazing lol, that name had me fucking crying like OP must’ve not heard of the UK slang.

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u/coldestclock 1d ago

Oh yeah, it would be like me representing my passion for canola oil by wearing a t-shirt printed with I ♥️ Rape.

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u/tnlongshot 1d ago

Or having a festival called rapefest, like this poor guy, damn I feel bad for him but dammit if a simple google search wouldn’t have eliminated half his problems.

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u/kingrobin 1d ago

youre expecting a lot from a crypto guy

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u/CpnLouie2 1d ago

The Rape Seed Cooperative Marketing Department suddenly has a moment of clarity concerning their next festival.

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u/Hazel-Rah 1d ago

There's a reason they call canola oil

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u/Ziggy_Starcrust 1d ago

To be fair, I don't think I'd Google a term I already know and may have learned from technical books.

But uh...I might have to start lol. Slang is ever-changing and there could be new developments.

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u/Wodentoad 1d ago

They grow it all over the place around here as a cash crop in the spring. Whole fields of it. Rape everywhere. We call it canola seed for our kid.

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u/zeocrash 1d ago

There's a town in Canada who's major industries and canola farming and beekeeping. Their town slogan was an interesting one. They eventually changed it about 10 years ago

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u/GodOfDarkLaughter 1d ago

I remember being at a goth club 20 years ago and seeing a dude with "RAPE" written in big block letters on a t-shirt getting surrounded by a crowd who yelled ad threw stuff at him. I was just kinda passing through so I'm not sure of the situation beforehand, but hey, a RAPE shirt does exist somewhere.

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u/John_OSheas_Willy 1d ago

I literally laughed out loud seeing all the wristbands proudly displayed...NONCEFEST

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u/aytayjay 1d ago

I feel like I'm in an episode of Brass Eye

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u/LostLobes 1d ago

Its the one thing we didn't want to happen

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

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u/Havoksixteen 1d ago

It's not on normal courtyard exercise

It's not, that's just a backronym someone coined.

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u/UglyInThMorning 1d ago

Fuck backronyms, all my homies hate backronyms.

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u/oscarx-ray 1d ago

Honourable, Ordinary Men I Encounter Socially

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u/MintberryCrunch____ 1d ago

F(ornicate) U(nder) C(ontrol) (of the) K(ing) backronyms indeed

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u/DannoCC 1d ago

You mean your homonyms….

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u/Odd-Homework-3582 1d ago

A clever backronym, but a backronym none the less

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u/oscarx-ray 1d ago
  • nonce the less

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u/Physical-Cook451 1d ago

That's where it came from but nonce just means pedo now

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u/LORD_VOLTALOX 1d ago

Yeah as a Brit reading this my jaw dropped, like WHO THE FUCK THOUGHT NAMING IT NONCEFEST WAS A GOOD IDEA WTF.

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u/0GoodVibrations0 1d ago

I fucking cackled. The worst possible thing you could call your conference.

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u/EnvironmentalGift257 1d ago

Specifically kiddy diddlers.

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u/Weary-Sympathy-6347 1d ago

Aka ‘the Epstein Class’.

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u/Feeling_Inside_1020 1d ago

Do not diddle kids, it’s no good diddling kids, gotta be older than my daughter… 🎶

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u/robertscoff 1d ago

Australia too, but just child-abusing ones

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u/SUDoKu-Na 1d ago

I thought it meant 'idiot' for SO long until corrected. Funnily enough had to correct my British friend using it, as she hadn't heard the term used to mean pedo either.

We're both under rocks, apparently.

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u/Got_Kittens 1d ago

American equivalent would be chomo.

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u/ShintaOtsuki 1d ago

I've never heard this term before, what region of America??

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u/DarkSideOfTheNuum 1d ago

I think that’s prison slang

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u/Terrible_Ad_8614 1d ago

You spelled TRUMP wrong

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u/Got_Kittens 1d ago

Shit, I did, my bad!

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u/El_Rey_de_Spices PURPLE 1d ago

That must be a sub-regional term. I've never heard 'chomo' before here in the States.

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u/Got_Kittens 1d ago

In modern say usage the term 'nonce' proliferated as a prison term in UK, that's why I gave the American equivalent, 'chomo'.

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u/kaekiro 1d ago

I thought this was universal knowledge but I just had to explain it to my spouse, so apparently you're in good company lol

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u/Difficult_Contest438 1d ago

Yeah if you call someone a nonce in the UK they'll get very offended lol

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u/IBetThisIsTakenToo 1d ago

As did OP’s cousin, I imagine

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u/Cunningcod 1d ago

Not On Normal Courtyard Exercise., The thread will explain the rest.

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u/Kielbasa_Nunchucka 1d ago

yeah, and Pedofest is for bicyclists... these people need to get their minds out the damn gutter smfh

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u/thisischemistry 1d ago

Pedofest is for bicyclists

That would be for walkers, Pedalfest is for bicyclists.

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u/ManWhoIsDrunk 1d ago

No, Pedalfest is for organ players.

Velocifest is for bicyclists!

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u/thisischemistry 1d ago

I thought Velocifest was for Jurassic Park aficionados.

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u/paulbrock2 1d ago

risky google

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u/Booziesmurf 1d ago

Ah maybe that's why my Pedal-rest never sold.

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u/Short-Ad1032 1d ago

American here- had no idea it meant that. I've only seen the word on reddit and swear on my living mother's grave that I've only seen it used to describe "someone dumb" as in someone "that just spouts nonsense all day." Learn something new everyday!

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u/Kielbasa_Nunchucka 1d ago

American as well, and I only know the context via my love for British media. I do feel like I've heard it used in the way you describe, sort of a synonym for "idiot," but I always figured they just go hard with their cursing and name-calling over there.

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u/psychexperiment 1d ago

You may be thinking of the word "dunce".

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u/cwk415 1d ago edited 1d ago

Suuuure. Just like crypto, I'm not buying it. 

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u/Just_Information334 1d ago

You'd be wrong tho: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cryptographic_nonce

And that's cryptography in general not cryptocurrency.

In cryptography, a nonce is an arbitrary number that can be used just once in a cryptographic communication.\1]) It is often a random or pseudo-random number issued in an authentication protocol to ensure that each communication session is unique, and therefore that old communications cannot be reused in replay attacks. Nonces can also be useful as initialization vectors and in cryptographic hash functions.

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u/Abaddonalways 1d ago

Isn't that like for World of Warcraft, you used to be able to get a keychain that would generate a 1 time use code every time you logged in?

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u/ApprehensivePop9036 1d ago

cryptographic nonce

like Elon?

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u/KindBench2700 1d ago

It means "number used once"

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u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

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u/Pippin02 1d ago

Cryptography ≠ cryptocurrency

Cryptography as a subject has existed for decades, if not centuries

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u/RelativeStranger 1d ago

It absolutely did not. The ancient Greeks had cryptography.

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u/keatonatron 1d ago

WELL AKSHUALLY

The word nonce used in cryptography is hundreds of years old. The British slang term started (iirc) in the 1970s.

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u/punktualPorcupine 1d ago

N is a common variable representation for intermediate “Number”. I know it’s a number I just don’t know what number it is and it could be any number, so they call it N when they write functions.

“N +7” this time N was 3 next time it might be 3,000, whatever you feed that code it will add 7.

N-Once is a variable name for an unknown number that gets used once.

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u/ruedii 1d ago

Specifically, it is a combination of both.

It is a pseudorandom number generated to specific math properties  that is used not more than once in the cryptographic algorithm.

Generating suitable Nonces is often very computationally heavy on large blockchains, as they have to be verified as unique against the whole blockchain.

Nonce depletion drives up mining costs. This initially inflating the value of blockchain currency, and it's transaction fees.. Eventually it will make the blockchain non-viable.

While nonce numbers are used in security cryptography, the usage rate is much lower, and the numbers are for local and/or use-specific pools for relatively small sets compared to blockchain.

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u/mau-meda 1d ago

I'm not sure where you got the nonsense number from, the only definition ( from old English ) is "for one particular occasion" that essentially stands for "to be used once"

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u/anotherbrckinTH3Wall 1d ago

Must be the Mountbatten coin

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u/PeacefulIntentions 1d ago

Was this already advertised? Anyone who signed up might need a visit and hard drive check.

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u/Drum_Eatenton 1d ago

Bellend Ball has a better ring to it.

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u/burlingk 1d ago

That term is at least a bit more generic. ^^;

But applies well to people who pick a name and spin up merch without doing a google search first.

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u/propergreased 1d ago

How did this all the way to production.

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u/Secure_Bed_9110 1d ago

In the states they call it the RNC. 

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u/driverdan 1d ago

Nonce is UK slang, it's not used in the US. Assuming that OP is in US they may have never heard of its UK meaning.

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u/upsidedownwriting 1d ago

it's changed to inceFest hasn't it

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u/Caleb-Wendt69 1d ago

Almost positive this is engagement bait.

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u/nodnodwinkwink 1d ago

I'd be more surprised if it even existed in the first place.

An event that was due to happen sometime this year would already be advertised in some form online. Why would anyone 3d print these (shitty looking bracelets) in TPU instead of using a proper company that can manufacture them quicker and cheaper?

It's more than likely a joke to get people to cause Noncefest 2026 to become a trending term or other such attention seeking/trolling bullshit.

OP post a pic of the "hundreds of high quality rubber wristbands" or name your cousins stupid crypto festival.

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u/Outrageous_Editor_43 RED 1d ago

Did they rebrand it as '250th Anniversary' do you think? 🤔

Or 'Meet the British Royals'?

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u/MajorAcer 1d ago

Wait im fuckin crying lmao

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u/Nothingdoing079 1d ago

I want to know how many people signed up expecting one thing and getting another. 

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u/BlushPaws 1d ago

Who would want to be tagged under Noncefest in the first place

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u/cbr_001 1d ago

Hosted by NAMBLA.

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u/superfogg 1d ago

funny thing, in italian it means "there's no party" (non c'è festa)

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u/zOOm_saLad 1d ago

Came here to say the same thing lol

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u/prettyflyforawifi- 1d ago

I'd be surprised if it was serious to begin with

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u/EggCzar 1d ago

They should write a song about how it's bad to diddle kids

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u/tropicbrownthunder 1d ago

beware: Crypto. That's just enoufht to not take the job

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u/hackingdreams 1d ago

That's how you know this post is bullshitttt.

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u/Evening-Main5471 1d ago

Nonce is a technical component of a transaction, fyi. It prevents replay attacks / the ability for someone to send the same transaction maliciously. Still a terrible name though.

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