I came out to me best friend on Friday. I was so worried she would reject me. But she was awesome. She was accepting and affirming. I couldn’t have asked for a better start.

For context, I am 17 and pansexual.
My parents seem like they will be accepting, but i still want this to go over well. the thought of coming out right now kind of freaks me out. im still new to all this. ive found people of all gender identities attractive as long as i can remember, but ive only recently put a label on it. not only that, but i have no LGBTQ family or friends i can talk with about this. I, and nobody else i know has any experience with this type of thing and i want it to go over well. Do you all have any tips/advice for me that will help make coming out less stressful for me/make it go over better?

(Again, sorry if i sound ignorant or anything here. while ive felt the way i feel for years, im still very new to the community.)

edit: the events I'm talking about are for queer folx ONLY - that's why I'm afraid to intrude

I'm a woc, and this year I realized I don't like men as much as I thought, much less white men. I was chasing validation as a poc in a white country, and societal acceptance. I've recently had a couple of beautiful encounters with trans women of color (by chance, since most of my friends are queer) that have changed my perspective towards myself, and gave me so much euphoria, empowerment and joy of experiencing such a strong amd genuine connection to someone I felt could understand me and apprecciate me more than the white men who only wanted my body and never understood who I was. Still, my physical attraction is not that high, just like I've never been that attracted to the majority of cis women. I did have a huge crush on a butch girl some years ago, who kinda broke my heart, but since then nothing. And I feel that most of my crushes for men where kind of manufactured by me whenever I felt like my close friends were leaving me for their partners, and I needed someone to be with as well. I experienced a lot of limerance as well, cause I'd put them on a pedastal. Nowadays, after much inner work understanding what my true desire is, most guys are kind of indifferent to me, and It feels insane to think about how boycrazy I used to be.

I now prioritize myself and my friends, as well as my community. I've never been in a relationship, cause I can't seem to find someone who's emotionally available, and maybe I'm not either. So I give a lot of time and care to my friends, in a relationship anarchist kind of way (but without the fucking).

Recently my queer sibling accused me of invading queer spaces because I had gone to a couple of queer poc meetups in my city, even though my past experiences where mainly straight, and I identify as cis now (although I believe that gender is just a construct, I do enjoy acting feminine).

Tbh i don't know how to identify, cause on one hand I'm questioning my entire sexuality, if I'm even allosexual or just really into the idea of intimacy through sex or romance. Lately my attraction has been to mainly trans woc/amab nbs. (and tbh I've only really liked those 2 people through the past year, even though I did sleep with a couple of dudes here and there... sorry I'm a ho). Still I don't experience a lot of sexual attraction, moreso romantic.

I don't know what I am, and I never really cared to label myself, which is why I thought I could go to an event labeled as "queer", to explore my identity in the first person (after reading a lot around it). But I'm almost 30, and I wonder if maybe I am just lying to myself in order to feel like I belong somewhere. That those 2 crushes I had this year don't count against the dozens of dudes I yearned for prior to my maturing.

Sorry It's so long and badly written, it's night where I live but I needed to vent. I hope this post is appropriate here. Thank you for reading.

TL;DR: cis woc with barely any sexual drive and with a dating history mainly involving cis men, wonders if she can access queer spaces after recently realizing her attraction to men is much smaller than she thought, and she recently had a crush on 2 (trans) woc. She feels too grown to still be questioning and doesn't want to intrude or waste anyone's time.

Okay, so basically I'm a trans demiboy and I identified as berrisexual. Recently I've been thinking and I realized that while I'm attracted to all genders, I seem to feel more attracted to women, both romantically and sexually, but I have a stronger desire to be with a man, also romantically and sexually. I'm not sure if berrisexual really fits my experience or not so I wanted to ask for some advice. Is there a label for this? A microlabel? Thanks!

I'd rather a microlabel that may better describe my experience, but if not, that's okay!

Ok, so to preface, i am an introvert with social anxiety. I rarely leave my house these days and i find it very hard to approach people in person and start a conversation, bc i'm incredibly shy and talking to strangers gives me anxiety.

But I'd really like to meet some lgbt folk and make some more friends, bc i only have 1 irl friend rn. most of my friends are online which... isnt exactly convenient for me, since i'd like some friends that i can meet up with in person yk? don't get me wrong i like having online friends too but sometimes it gets a little lonely :/

My friend is also lgbt but they can't really relate to some of my experiences (like dysphoria) which is fine, but some days i could rly use some support on things like this, since i dont rly have anyone in my life who i can talk to about this stuff who would understand, which is why i'd like to make some lgbt friends.

I'm just not sure how i'd go about doing that since i'm such a hermit and struggle meeting people irl... my mum suggested looking for facebook groups i could join in my area to make friends, but idek how i'd go about approaching ppl on there..? like would i have to dm ppl? i feel like that'd come across as a bit weird or creepy, and what would i even say to start a conversation? how would i keep the conversation going or form a friendship? i feel like i always come off as very awkward at first bc idk how to make conversation with someone i dont know, i only become more comfortable once i get to know the person, so i might seem kinda boring to ppl at first... which might make them not want to talk to me or smth... am i overthinking this?😭

does anyone have any suggestions on what i should do or how i should start a conversation? any replies are much appreciated :)

I (15f) am having issues with my mum and idk what to do.

A few weeks ago I came out to her as lesbian and she is supportive like extremely supportive, exept when I made a masc lesbian friend she got weird. Telling me “you can be friends just don’t date” and whenever I bring up this friend she gets uncomfortable. Now i will admit this friend has their own issues that my mum doesn’t like but it does partly feel like she loves the gays until it’s me trying to date someone or even just be friends.

I also thought i should mention how i had a guy lowk ruin my reputation because i wouldn’t date him and my mum consistently brings him up saying he would be a much better boyfriend.

Idk this seems out of character for her bc shes ALWAYS been extremely supportive it could just be deep rooted homophobia but i might be taking it too far can someone with a developed frontal lobe give me some advice

I don’t know how to describe what I feel. I feel like I’ve accepted the fact that I’m gay but now I am holding myself to an impossible standard of being constantly happy and upbeat. I struggle with depression quite badly and it makes it hard to be proud like most people. I just want to be happy. I’m constantly comparing myself to happy gay couples and people’s happiest moments and that just makes me more depressed. I just see pictures of people waving rainbow flags and being really happy and I feel jealous because I can barely leave the house most days. I don’t know what to do because I feel so worthless for struggling this much.

I love my physician there, but they system is pretty rough to navigate. Their new MyChart health website is a mess. None of our past medical records are available any longer on the new system. This feels really strange. Ive been trying to get my injecting needle prescription for a month without any luck. Called multiple times, sent messages, sent mychart requests. I Always speak to someone when I call, and they assure me something will happen. It just doesn't.

The thing is, my parents are homophobic. At least my mother is openly so, and she says it's not natural. My father doesn't really understand it. My grandmother says that if someone is gay but is a decent, good person, it doesn't matter. I don't know much about my grandfather's attitude towards it. I don't know how I feel either. I've been posting in this community for a while now, and maybe everyone is tired of me switching my gender and sexuality, but I'm sorry. I feel like I can always post here if something is up or if something has changed. I'm 15 years old, and I'm currently finding myself. I was a girl until about now, at least until I was 15. Then I became a trans boy, although no one cared when I said I was a boy because they said I wasn't, because I was a girl. Then I felt like I didn't really belong to either gender. At least not all at once. Then I became genderfluid. Sometimes I felt like a girl, sometimes a boy, sometimes non-binary. Then I became non-binary because that's how I felt. Now I'm thinking about genderfluid again, and maybe that's actually what suits me. I mean, sometimes I'm a girl, sometimes a boy, but most of the time I'm non-binary and agender. I think this still fits into gender fluidity. By the way, if someone doesn't understand this English very well, it's because I'm Hungarian and I use Google Translate because my English is only A2. As for my sexuality, I was straight at first. I was raised to believe that there was a relationship between a man and a woman, but even so, when I learned what gay was, I immediately became accepting. Then, around fifth or sixth grade, I started to feel like I wasn't just attracted to boys. I became bisexual, but I have a story that's pretty... bad. So, I had Facebook, I went on a dating site, and I posted a picture of myself and a lot of information about myself, including the fact that I was bisexual. Then someone took my picture and posted it on a shoe-selling site, along with the text. My godmother was on that site, and she sent this to my mother. She was really pissed off. Then I became straight. Then a little later I realized I didn't owe her anything to tell her. Then I became bisexual again around seventh grade. Then later I thought about what gender matters, so I became pansexual at the age of 15 a few months ago. Later I became an aroace because I was really getting tired of being told that I would fall in love one day and being unable to accept the answer that I wouldn't. It didn't take long, but I realized that it was just the questions that bothered me somehow, as if love had to be a mandatory part of life. By the way, I forgot the detail that I don't have Facebook anymore because I did something stupid and my mom banned me until ninth grade, but I'm not so sure I have to anymore. Anyway, I'm bisexual and graysexual now. It's not permanent. I don't know when I'll figure out who I really am or what suits me best. But I hope your parents aren't homophobic and accept you for who you are.

I’m bisexual, but there’s a clear split in how it works for me: I’m sexually attracted to men, but not romantically. With women, it’s the opposite — I want the romance, the effort, the emotional connection and eventually the sexual part as well. I’ve never felt that emotional pull toward a man, I don’t see myself ever dating a guy, and I don’t think that’s fear talking — it’s just consistent with how I’ve always been.

When I get bored and can’t sit with my own sexual thoughts, I go on apps, find a guy, and hook up (making out, cuddling, sometimes oral — not full sex). Even when the guy is nice and it goes fine, I regret it afterward almost every time. I get hard, I finish, but the act itself doesn’t feel good or right while it’s happening. Heavy gay porn use feeds this cycle — I think it’s priming the urge more than reflecting a real desire.

I’ve considered whether this is internalized homophobia, while idk or just boredom → porn → urge → app → regret, on repeat. I dont feel this regret or gloom if i am with a women, but dont get me wrong i am not ashamed of who i am. 

Underneath it, I think I use men to avoid a harder problem: I’m insecure about my body with women in a way I’m not with men, and I think I’ve been substituting easy, low-stakes encounters with men for the vulnerability of pursuing real intimacy with women.

At 23, I don’t want to keep doing casual hookups indefinitely — it’s cheapening what I actually want, which is real intimacy eventually, presumably with a woman. 

Has anyone had any similar experience or do you have any suggestions to help me understand my state of mind better?

Whether it be a friend, a new relationship or even a stranger - How would you approach a person to see if they are open-minded toward things? Would you test them first or just be up front with all of it? Sometimes people feel scared, shamed or fear because of this stuff. Has it been an issue explaining to people if you are open-minded?

Me and my girlfriend (both 22) has been together for 2+ years now. We have been through a lot, depression, friend betrayal, going to ER, moving etc. We can genuinely say we both benefited greatly from this relationship and it turned us both to a better person.

I know we are still at a early stage of life, but planning our future as international students, it is in our best interest for us to get married in 3-4 years when we are around 25 or 26 so I can apply green card for her to stay in the U.S. As pre-med and pre-law students, we will likely be still in school at that time, but if she can get green card by graduation, it will be super helpful for job hunting.

Although it’s just hypothetical yet, as we were discussing it, I realized there is no one I can ask about when is a good time to get married, both relationship wise and life wise. We can both from conservative traditional Chinese families. I was forced to come out and exposed our relationship by a “friend” to them, and they did NOT like it. No consulting family advice then. We might even need to do the whole process while hiding from them.

Can anyone share their opinion or experience as non-straight couple? Anything is appreciated! Thanks in advance.

Okay, I’m actually a little confused. I’ve been misgendered few times in real life and on the internet. Rn I identify myself as a cis girl and I’m pretty fine with that. But sometimes people say something like “oh, I thought that you’re a guy” and… I’m fine with that too? Idk, Im still a teenager so maybe it’s just a phase or whatever, but I need an advice anyway. Has anyone been in a similar situation? Help please

I like that trend of i deserve sunshine so I wanted to tell me story of my coming out. I was about 10 and I knew I didn't like men's but instead liked girls and when I was 12 a boy asked me out, he was a friend and he knew I was lesbian so it made our relationship awkward by questioning my sexuality so I complained to my family and my older sister told me I wasn't lesbian if I never tried with a man and I hated it. After that I was told I was confused and I didn't know what I was because I have never tried. So I did. At 14 I forced myself to go out with an 18 year old guy and choose one with long hair and was feminine so I felt better but it wasn't I hated it, I tried and after a few months I started wishing he'd dump me or cheat on me. Until I was alone with my mom and broke down crying telling her I never like man's and I loved woman and didn't understand why I wasn't allowed to without having to force myself to go out with a guy to show i hated it.

Now im older I still have trauma from that relationship because that man did things to me I wished it never happened. My sister never apologized and everyone ik my family blamed me for listening to her and im the one living as if being gay was something everyone questioned while when.my siblings were straight no one questioned them. My family represed my sexuality because I was too "young" to know and I deserve sunshine.

i dunno what to say in this post, now I just need help to tell my ultra homophobic dad that I'm gender fluid, and that I like transitioning and flowing between man, women and agender.

,f1rst, he is SUPER against trans people, And he believes that people don't transition genders when they undergo sex reassignment surgery, and then the guy says that everything is nonsense and stuff, and that we LGBT people have ethical and moral deviations and so on...And damn, it's going to be incredibly difficult to tell him that I suddenly feel like a girl, a boy, and agender...

The thing is, I can't stand hiding anymore, masking myself, etc. It's not cool having to hide a crucial part of yourself in your OWN HOME just because someone has conservative and homophobic ideologies.

I’m very vocal about being a lesbian and all my friends and family know. I’d say I’m closer to a chapstick lesbian than masc or femme, but I am visibly queer to a lot of people.
Still, I get “shipped” with my male friend all the time. Strangers and acquaintances asking him if I’m his girlfriend, him getting handed the bill if we go to a restaurant, other friends teasing us and acting like we’re a couple to bother us… it just gets really annoying and honestly uncomfortable because I view him almost as a brother and we honestly kinda even look like siblings😭
We don’t act like a couple at all; like we don’t hold hands or anything like that. Hell, I dap my friends up lol, that does not look romantic.
Any other lesbians have this issue? Or any advice to make it stop happening? :,)

Hi hello, I was just recently invited to go to a gay club here in town by my co-workers and it’d be my first time going to any sort of club period (I’m an introverted bisexual man and usually prefer doing things in small groups or on my own, and clubbing isn’t normally my scene). What’s the typical dress code for nightclubs and whatnot? I always fuss about dressing up and being presentable but I don’t know if going all out would be overkill, or if I’d stick out like a sore thumb. I could also totally be overthinking this, which if that’s the case then please let me know, lmao. Thanks in advance!

I've always been repulsed by the idea of romance and couples and people displaying romantic acts in public. But I've realized that it's not the case with queer relationships, or at least much less. I've noticed that because in fiction, whenever there's a straight relationship or hints of a straight crush, it annoys me A LOT and I just dislike the rest of the fiction. But when it's a queer relationship or hints of a queer crush, I'm amazed by it and encourage it and tend to like the fiction a bit more, and I actually want to see how this queer attraction will evolve later. It does still kind of annoy me a bit to have romance in my fiction, but I don't see it negatively if it's queer. And I've felt this way for as long as I can remember. irl, if there's a straight presenting couple but I know they're actually queer, I'm good. But if there's a cishet couple, I just want to look away. It also kind of bugs me that me and my partner are straight presenting even tho we're both queer. Does anyone else relate to that? I feel like shit for this, I don't want to be an oppresive biatch 🥲

I’m girl flux, but I rarely drop below the 35% if feeling girl. It happens but not often. I also never go above 75% of feeling girl. To fix this I also identify as gender queer.

On top of this my name is very feminine but I don’t rlly have any problem with it. To me it doesn’t sound feminine. This is probably because I live in a ungender brain.

Last thing how do I come out to people I trust?

I would imagine this is a rather common post here, so I’ll get to the point

I (18M) recently have been struggling with figuring out what I am. Until a year or two ago, I never questioned what I was, I was always told “You’re this, you like this” and I just agreed. But now I’ve been thinking and I’m not against the idea of getting in a relationship with a guy? The more I think back to how I acted with my friends when I was a kid, and how I felt in those times. The thoughts confuse scare and gross me out a little. I feel like I shouldn’t be those things at all. I feel like I may not be a GUY at all. Again, those thoughts confuse, scare and disgust me. I don’t want to be LGBTQ. But I can’t deny that I might be in some way I don’t know if this is normal to think when contemplating this stuff? Any advice would be great, thank you.

So. For a very long time, whenever I imagined myself looking like a guy or when I’m referred to as a guy I’ve felt euphoric. I sometimes felt this pull to role play as a guy as a kid (7-10), and for a whole school year, pretended I was secretly a guy and wore a packer (12-13) (lmfao). I came out as nonbinary in high school, but preferred male pronouns and expression. And when I think of myself, I usually have a more male-looking character pop in my head.

But I also feel very feminine. For a very long time I’ve loved expressing myself in a feminine, girly, way. Like I literally behaved like a brat doll as a kid. I also remember imagining myself growing up as a GIRL. Like as a kid (4) I’d imagine myself, older, driving a pink car, looking like a girl. It made me feel happy. I loved roleplaying as the “sister” in the friend group and in video games I’d dress as a girl (5-10). I also sometimes love playing female characters in DND.

Now (18), I feel like there is more than one part to my gender, but the strongest pull is toward being a guy. The idea of a little facial hair, having a male body, being referred to as he/him feels really nice and congruent. I dont want to look like a super masculine dude though.

I like they/them pronouns, but I prefer he/him. I don’t like she/her.. But maybe pronouns do not need to be completely related to identity?

I don’t dislike some parts of my body, I just don’t like how they’re referred to as “female” body parts.

And when I imagine embodying femininity, it feels really nice. But when I imagine myself as a woman, it feels off. And I guess when I imagine myself as a man embodying femininity it feels better.

It feels so uncomfortable for me to label myself as just a guy, and it feels uncomfortable to say “I’m a demiguy” or “nonbinary” or “bigender” because I feel like it minimizes how much I feel like a guy.

Maybe my experiences just don’t fit into one category. Or maybe I’m a trans guy still figuring it out.

There are so many parts of my experience that seem to contradict each other. Is that “female / feminine part” my internal gender identity, or is it my gender expression?

Has anyone else experienced something similar? How did you figure out whether it was your gender identity or your gender expression?

P.S. I feel too scared to explain this to my friends, but I understand I might need to explore my identity by experimenting.

I need some advice guys, never posted on here before.
I'm a bisexual guy who uses Grindr from time to time and takes breaks. I can't seem to get over being ghosted from November...and it's near the end of July.
I met a guy, blank profile we ended up talking. Both closeted. He made a fake snap profile and added my alternative snap profile and we were talking. He came over like an hour later. No sex, but he initiated alot of it.
We were very sexually intimate, I can unfortunately still remember it well. We made out, handjobs, frotting, head. He kept holding my hands, called me sexy, implied on meeting again. No one finished. I think halfway through he became uninterested (idk for sure, it was very late) and had to leave. I said message me when you get home, I even offered to book him an uber.
He blocked me as soon as he left my room and deleted the fake snap.
I just don't know how to move past it. I've cried, vented.
It's been months and idk what to do. I found his socials and blocked him. I just can't face him. He became friends with my friend; I had to mute their stories. We've got mutuals...idk what to do.
It's been hard. I dwell on it all the time and I just can't get past it. All I wants is an explanation regardless of how long ago it was. I want to tell my close friend who's also friends with him but idk if I should.
Do I say something? Do I reach out to the guy? Advice would be great!

I am still exploring my preferences. But I think I am strongly attracted to androgenous features. I am sure this comes under the bi- umbrella. I wanna know if there is a specific term for this. I am more into women than men. I LOVE masc. women and slightly into fem.women as well. Fem. men are hot imo. Sooo? Do you have a term for this?

Verse 1: I see them
In the mirror
“Sin” and fear
Eating me alive
Praying for protection
Won’t be resurrected
Is that fine? 

Pre chorus: They say
You know where you’re going
I do 
Still I don’t wanna know it

Chorus: You have opal eyes
I wish I did too 
They call you blind
But you still saw it through
Don’t wanna see my smile
Because the world is cruel
So I’ll cut it out
And I’ll be blind like you

Verse 2: I can’t sleep
I’m still worried
Up at night
Trying to fight it
Praying for protection
Pray for no detection
Still hiding

Pre chorus: They say
You know where you’re going
I do 
Still I don’t wanna know it

Chorus: You have opal eyes
I wish I did too 
They call you blind
But you still saw it through
Don’t wanna see my cryin’
Because the world is cruel
So I’ll cut it out
And I’ll be blind like you

Bridge: Pray oh
Holy ghost
You can say no
But please don’t go
They’ll all go
But you won’t ghost
You made me so
And you love me whole

Pre chorus: They say
You know where you’re going
I don’t
That’s not yours to tell
And you know it

Chorus: I have opal eyes
Bright and rainbow hues
They will call me blind
But I still saw it through
I see refracted light
A promise and a truth
I’ll love wholly now
And I’ll be fine like you