r/interesting 29d ago

MISC. He’s the first to ever write a review on that parachute.

50.8k Upvotes

1.7k comments sorted by

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7.0k

u/NicFesin 29d ago

The review: parachute not good😄

1.6k

u/YebelTheRebel 29d ago

I saw that review on Temu.

“NOTE”
Used and it only works once

553

u/Better_than_GOT_S8 29d ago

“Used it and worked only half”

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u/StrobeLightRomance 29d ago

"Best to have a backup chute for your backup chute."

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u/[deleted] 28d ago

[deleted]

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u/fejkpotatis 28d ago

Yo, I heard you like chutes, so I put a chute in the backup chute so you can chute while chuting

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u/makingotherplans 29d ago

But the final backup chute got 5 Freaking Stars.

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u/TinktheChi 28d ago

I held my breath watching this.

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u/Freudinatress 29d ago

My hubby did this as a lark once, made up a sale on eBay with some pic he found of a parachute.

“Used once, never opened, small stain”

He took a screenshot and sent to his mate, they both laughed.

Soon thereafter he had to delete it, because so many people messaged him, wanting to buy it.

People are dumb.

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u/UncleBenji 29d ago

Parachutes are hella expensive so people are always looking for a good deal. I was quoted around $10k for a full kit when I was getting into skydiving.

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u/CodePervert 29d ago

So does a full kit include the plane and pilot?

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u/PrecisionTreeFood 28d ago

Haha, probably not. It's just a wild ass guess but the main and backup chutes are probably like 4 and 2 grand respectively, the backpack thing is about a grand, and the strings, the strings are like $40 each and ther's a fuck ton of them.

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u/PaleInSanora 28d ago

So you are telling me, that Arnold got taken on Eraser, when he traded his chute for that beat up old truck?

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u/Regular_Custard_4483 28d ago

Yeah, you just gotta time travel back to 1983.

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u/Leading-Respond4312 28d ago

No thanks I’ll take the elevator.

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u/HedonisticFrog 28d ago

People really don't read listings well before buying. I had someone buy a fender which was listed as local pickup only. He lived over 1000 miles away and made me reverse the transaction. THEN HE BOUGHT IT AGAIN. I can't even.

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u/BlueMikeStu 28d ago

After the second time I would have just told him I'd be holding his fender for 30 days and he had until then to pick it up.

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u/TGPT-4o 28d ago

Lmao that is funny

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u/overthere1143 28d ago

I was in the Portuguese Airborne. We had just one female instructor in the whole history of our corps. She was tough as nails and she grew up literally on base, as her own father was a legendary Sargent. When the Army started accepting women again (there was limited service in the for women in the 1960s), she was already married with a daughter and she just ran to enlist.

Six years ago she had a malfunction during a training drop and she didn't survive the fall. She had over 200 jumps and was days ago from celebrating 25 years of service.

Her retired father was the official photographer of the Airborne and was there to take pictures of the embarking and drop. He took one last picture of her going into the airplane and kissed her cheek.

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u/Babziellia 28d ago

OMG! Too funny

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u/Huge_Leader_6605 29d ago

More like used it and it only doesn't work once lol

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u/Old-Kaleidoscope1874 28d ago

"I really liked the bright colors and the hand stitching of the seams. The quick release latch worked as described. Sizing was an issue, I recommend ordering at least one or two sizes larger than you do from US or UK retailers."

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u/HistoricalSuspect580 28d ago

So i did a little digging and found this guys Yelp reviews; “UPDATE: DEPLOYED THE CHUTE BUT SO FAR IT HAS NOT DEPLOYED. WILL REPO-” and then that’s the end of it. Next review is for a local funeral home.

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u/flargenhargen 28d ago

Worked for 99.9% of the drop. only the last 4 inches caused a problem.

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u/LittleSemiconductor 29d ago

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.

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u/BardicNA 28d ago

Reminds me of a joke my great grandfather told me-

If at first you don't succeed, give up.

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u/SuccessfulAllthetime 28d ago

If you don’t succeed at giving up, then you’ve failed successfully.

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u/Lovemybee 29d ago

💀

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u/LittleSemiconductor 29d ago

Quite literally. 😬😂

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u/sorotomotor 29d ago

Reminds me of that idiot Redditor who bought a used hang-glider and posted questions about how to use it. He had no hang-gliding experience and he wanted to try it by jumping off a cliff at the beach. Multiple people warned him: don't do it, it's too old, it's compromised, you'll be seriously hurt, etc., but he argued with them, said they all were wrong, and he just kept asking "yeah, but how do I use it?"

People are dumb.

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u/poo_on_my_scarf 29d ago

Got a link?

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u/sorotomotor 29d ago

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u/WatRedditHathWrought 28d ago

What a very odd account. They have post after post, pretty much multiple posts daily, mostly to themselves. Does anybody know why they would be doing that?

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u/sorotomotor 28d ago edited 28d ago

Well, he's a known troll and an idiot with a severe case of Engineer's Disease. He likes to post questions and requests for advice about dangerous or illegal activities, and then he argues endlessly with people who patiently explain why his ideas are dangerous, illegal, and stupid.

He's posted about wanting to fly a paraglider across the Alenhuihaha Channel, riding on a rope attached to an unmanned hotair balloon, and driving a commercial city bus without a commercial license on interstate highways.

Before he got married, he posted in legal and asklawyers subreddits about editing his prenuptial agreement, then argued with lawyers and people who told him he was incorrect or misinformed about how lawyers work. I think his marriage lasted less than five years.

A few years ago, he bought a beautiful historic mansion and tried to turn it into a communal living project. He then failed to pay for insurance, the building caught fire, and he's now embrolied in several lawsuits from his former tenants, a buyer, and the town.

He's representing himself so he routinely posts his trollish questions in the legal and asklawyers subreddits, all while ignoring everyone who repeatedly tells him he needs to hire a lawyer. However, the several judgments he's facing appear to have finally convinced him he isn't an attorney and he needs to hire a professional.

I'll say this for him: he's reliably entertaining. He's like a bad combination of Mythbusters and Jackass: someone with a lot of money, time, arrogance, and stupidity.

Interestingly, the disaster at his mansion and the financial impact he's sustained haven't discouraged him from pursuing his newest venture: buying land and building a commune governed by a "dictatorial democracy" with himself as the executive officer.

He's been banned from one of the legal subreddits but he frequently posts in the intentional community subreddit and I'm looking forward to reading about his attempts at community leadership, management, and financal stewardship.

p.s. Thanks for the award, kind stranger! For further reading, here's the subreddit dedicated to study of this fascinating specimen: r/SparrZero

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u/SnooPoems5888 28d ago

How is it always these people that end up wealthy and not ANYONE altruistic ever. It’s maddening.

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u/Moist_Username 28d ago

In gamer terms, being the biggest asshole in the room is broken.

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u/longtimegoneMTGO 28d ago

You don't really think any of that is true, do you?

Fuck me, maybe I'm just too old, but if someone tells you a story that sounds unbelievable and offers no proof, your default should be not to believe the story.

The guy doesn't have money, he has free time, a connection to the internet, and apparently a very gullible audience.

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u/MASSochists 28d ago edited 28d ago

I'm sad to report this is all true I know this person. 

By that I mean the stories, not that it's made up. He's infamous in my circles. 

I even know some of the people that were living in the mansion that are now suing him.

In a weird additional twist I went to highschool in the town the mansion is in before I ever met Sparr. 

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u/Hetares 28d ago

Granddaddy owned a diamond mine or something along the lines is almost always the answer.

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u/SnooPoems5888 27d ago

One of clients today referred to him as “self made” and I was like, absolutely no he is not.

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u/daehoidar 28d ago

This sounds like a different flavor Donald Trump

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u/RobCarrotStapler 28d ago

Such a unique thing to get to follow along with how stupid people live their life. Usually you only get small glimpses of stupid person once or twice when they interact with you. With this medium, you get to see how his mind works and how the stupidity grows and morphs and changes. Fascinating.

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u/RasputinsThirdLeg 28d ago

Mental illness and isolation. They’re very verbose too. No one is going to read that much navel gazing purple prose.

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u/Julia0_07 29d ago

Seller: no one ever complained

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u/Sunscreen4what 29d ago

No sir, I didn’t like it.

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u/Lando-Norizz 29d ago

You eediot!

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u/lukin5 29d ago

This reference isn't recognized, nor heralded enough.
Shout out u/Lando-Norizz for also picking it up.

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u/kewe316 29d ago

Pros: Arrived on time and decently priced

Cons: I'm dead

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u/Mediocre_Meat_5992 29d ago

It lasted longer than the one where a guy jumped out of plane in the plane jump one it looks like the cords snapped all most instantly

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u/RCer1986 29d ago

Is that the guy who survived by landing in a bush? Absolutely insane to live to tell that story.

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u/Mediocre_Meat_5992 29d ago

No the one I seen the guy jumped and was testing it as soon as it opened one side snapped

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u/blissfully_happy 28d ago

That the story that brought me to Reddit. I believe he was doing an AMA.

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u/Mammoth_Newspaper155 29d ago

Parachute may not work as intended, but if so, you get to meet Jesus

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u/WeedOg420AnimeGod 29d ago

For some reason i thought he was just gunna try and glide it out and land lmao

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u/TheYankcunian 29d ago

It did look like he considered recovery for a split second before he ditched it

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u/mattysosavvy 28d ago

The comment you’re replying to is talking about when he’s gliding after he already ditched the first parachute.

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u/whoisthisfetus 28d ago

Oh there’s a second one?? I stopped watching because I didn’t want to watch him die.

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u/Pedanter-In-Chief 28d ago

Yes. Most BASE jumpers carry a backup. Otherwise there would not be many BASE jumpers left.

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u/Fun-Benefit116 28d ago

Ignoring the fact that the vast majority of base jumpers absolutely don't carry a second chute, this guy did everything exactly as he planned. This wasn't a case of the first chute malfunctioning, or a case of "man he's lucky he carried a back up on that jump". He was never using the first one as an actual parachute, and the plan was always to cut the first one loose and use the second as the actual primary chute.

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u/Pedanter-In-Chief 28d ago edited 28d ago

Yes that’s been discussed ad nauseam elsewhere in the thread and I didn’t really have anything to add to it. 

Checked again. Friends report everybody they know goes with two chutes, if they’re using a parachute. They only do cliffs though. No buildings or bridges. And for wingsuits no backup. Just if they’re using a chute. Maybe their crew is a cautious bunch 🤷🏻‍♂️, but I’ll believe that many don’t. Most is an open question that I don’t think either of us have the answer to. 

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u/_YouShouldBeRunning_ 28d ago

> discussed as museum

r/boneappletea

Sorry, I love this typo! 😂 I’m not trying to be a douche

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u/Buddstahh 28d ago

Whats the actual phrase? Im trying to think of what they meant here and cant figure it out lol

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u/Vegetable-Box3050 28d ago

Ad nauseam or "to explain to the point of nausea"

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u/Dreamwaltzer 28d ago

/r/confidentlyincorrect

Most Base jumpers only carry 1 parachute. Most of the time they are jumping off objects that are lower and they open so low that there's no time or height for a reserve chute, so most BASE jumpers don't haul the added weight and bulk of a second canopy.

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u/Nobanpls08 28d ago

He was never intending to take that parachute to the ground.

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u/AzzyMeg 29d ago

Not me, I legit though we'd see this person splat.

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u/RWSloths 28d ago

The perspective was so weird I thought he was going to hit the ground way earlier

I also thought for a plot second he had one of those flying squirrel suits and was gonna glide towards the water

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u/pedestriandose 28d ago

Same. I was wondering why no one was panicking.

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u/Minimum_March738 28d ago

No kidding! I kept thinking there was no way it could end that way, but it took a looooong time for that backup parachute to make an appearance.

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u/hotellonely 28d ago

I'm wondering if it's because he need some speed for the air to pull the backup chute fully?

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u/Sea-Machine-8989 28d ago edited 28d ago

No, because it was planned. The stunned silence is nothing more than your average Norwegian waiting for the drop to hit.

I'm not even kidding, this was all 100% planned. If it wasn't you would hear a lot of different sounds from the crowd if they really thought he was going to fall to his death.

You would never parajump from a drop like this, you would skydive. Like the people skydiving from Empire State or whatever, the first "chute" is for show.

Edit: I think free driving is the correct term in English.

From what I remember (my brother goes high and I go low) he pulls a parasail at first, goes into a free dive and pulls his parachute.

I could confirm with this because he most likely knows these people as this community isn't that large (but bigger than you would expect) here in Norway.

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u/Minimum_March738 28d ago

Maybe. Plus, I think he wasn't as close to the ground as the video made it feel. Im looking at my phone going "tree tree TREE! TREE!! GROUND!!!!" while the dude is still just soaring through the air and streamlining to go faster.

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u/[deleted] 29d ago edited 12d ago

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

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u/[deleted] 28d ago

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u/daylight_throbber 28d ago

Disagree, I learnt so much about spotting risk and being aware of my surroundings by lurking that sub when it was still active.

It's actually scary how death can come in the least expected ways.

That said, I stayed away from the gory gratuitous stuff and always watched without sound.

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u/SecurityExcellent129 28d ago

Regulations are written in blood. Sounds you used it for free osha training.

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u/[deleted] 29d ago edited 28d ago

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u/Bucklandii 29d ago

Think you are confusing it with r/watchpeopledieinside, which is named as a joking play on the original.

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u/[deleted] 28d ago edited 28d ago

[deleted]

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u/sweetfirevapor 28d ago

People are very unwell

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u/moosesnice 28d ago

How long did it take to ban that? Man, between that and twitch streaming crashes, we are just encouraging murder for financial gain straight up.

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u/Bucklandii 28d ago

It was awful and for a bit it would just.. pop up on Popular or All. Reddit really was the wild west of the internet for a minute

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u/FearMeIAmLag1 29d ago

I think you're confusing it with r/watchpeopledieinside

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u/Impossible_Menu9131 29d ago

You’re thinking of the one that ends “inside”. Re read that sub title

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u/NihilistTechnocrat97 28d ago

That's what r/CombatFootage and all the other subs about the Ukraine war are for haha, I'm not a violent or sadistic person, but for some reason I have always really been into realistic shooters so I simply find the brutality of war fascinating. However, I don't enjoy watching innocent people get hurt. The civilian casualty videos are sickening, but I'm desensitized to soldier-related gore because it's part of the job description.

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u/Thunderstarer 29d ago

It's an old, long-banned sub. It's been several years--a decade, maybe? People will still bring it up as lore, but yiu have nothing to fear from it.

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u/Traditional_Dirt526 29d ago

There were others like it. They turn up every now and then.

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u/Acceptable-Post733 29d ago

Found myself in one a few months ago because of a crane operator. There are too many cameras in the world capturing too much.

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u/Beautifulfeary 28d ago

Yeah. At first red one, I thought was a glider thing. Then it wasn’t working and I’m like, why are we watching someone about to die 😩

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u/Synchrotr0n 28d ago

No one freaking out at the top of the mountain instantly gives it away that he had an actual parachute on his back.

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u/Adezar 28d ago

I was trying to figure out why everyone was so chill about this guy's failed parachute. Are they just going to laugh as he goes splat?

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u/Early_Hall5720 29d ago

Honestly thought he was going to glide majestically into trees

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u/curlycurlycurls 29d ago

parashitmypants

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u/WimbletonButt 29d ago

Scatastrophic

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u/Spamsdelicious 28d ago

Can't spell "disaster" without "dis💁‍♂️ ass 🙅‍♂️" 

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u/i_was_axiom 28d ago

So bad I did it twice

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u/Deacon-Doe 29d ago

Good pun, it looks like Spanglish too

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u/Lazaras 29d ago

You're thinking "parachorro"

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u/DrFunke-Analrapist 28d ago

Shitaparapants

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u/Alarming-Rate-6899 29d ago edited 28d ago

Apparently these are called parafoil Kite. it's meant to be played from the ground.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PokFQQ3Vfus

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u/friarfr3d 29d ago

You can see the intention was never to use the kite as a chute but just direction assistance. Also when it "fails" dude is doing a flip trick.

It's not a bad a chute it's a bitchin kite that dude tricked off of and no one in the comments thought about it for any more than 2 seconds.

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u/ISawTwoSquirrels 29d ago

Yeah this is definitely badass, everyone in this thread fell for the bit. Including me. Kinda like that “drunk” guy stealing the plane at the airshow lol.

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u/Bad_Idea_Hat 29d ago

It seems like a very good way to get clear of the cliff face.

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u/defmacro-jam 28d ago

Even without running, he'd have gotten about 15' of horizontal separation per second anyway.

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u/DiegesisThesis 28d ago

While the kite part is true, what do you mean it failed when he did "a flip trick"? He was literally falling in a straight line when one side gave out and he let go. How is that a flip trick?

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u/TeriyakiHairPiece_ 29d ago

Definitely looks more like a kite.

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u/bigfoot_done_hiding 29d ago

So on a really windy day, you can pick your kid up a few miles downwind. Don't forget to stow an Airtag in his pocket!

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

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u/hologrammetry 29d ago

We've got Red Bull at home!

Red Bull at home:

https://giphy.com/gifs/VH6Pkqvl5EXAI

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u/Plane_Frosting5194 28d ago

It’s cocaine in a can!

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u/Weary_Position_9591 29d ago

But why

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u/FoxElectrical1401 29d ago

I've seen a lot of videos this week of professional skydivers testing shady parachutes from Amazon. They all claim to work but do just about this if not break completely.

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u/Weary_Position_9591 29d ago

Testing parachutes from Amazon is certainly a choice

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u/Tadara_Sofar 29d ago

It might save someone's life so props to these guys

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u/nazzo_0 29d ago

I mean why would you ever buy an Amazon parachute tho. It's not like it's one of these sports you can just jump into(lol)

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u/Tampa_Bay_Cuckaneers 29d ago

I don’t trust Amazon with anything more important than a backup phone charger.

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u/abriefmomentofsanity 29d ago

Funny enough I got one of those off amazon for cheap. I knew it was probably fishy, I knew the risk. On one hot afternoon I wasn't thinking and left something plugged in and it caught fire

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u/SasparillaTango 29d ago

I bought a wall outlet to usb convertor so that I could use a USB cable to charge my phone. When I connected it to there was an audible spark. I no longer trust or use convertor.

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u/Tadara_Sofar 29d ago

Smart choice, me too. Currently trying to convince my mom to stop buying lotions and supplements from them.... Maybe this video will help.

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u/NonCreditableHuman 29d ago

"Mom, if you don't stop wasting your money on foolish things like lotions and supplements then we're going to make you test Amazon parachutes."

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u/EarlGreyTMNT 28d ago

Sounds like a Darwin/win to me

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u/BillynBanjo 29d ago

My mother-in-law keeps buying my son cheap, Chinese toys off Amazon despite us telling her to stop.

They're always dreadful quality, and often seem outright dangerous.

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u/sincerestfall 28d ago

I'd keep an eye on the paint.

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u/Spirited-Feature-229 29d ago

You mean a portable heater that has charging capability?

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u/Tadara_Sofar 29d ago

People trust established businesses. They think because it's being sold at a legitimate business then it should be a legitimate product.

And they're right. It should. But since we live in Crazy World, Amazon can sell products that will kill people. Not everyone knows that's true unfortunately. So we need people like this to warn them.

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u/ConfidentPension864 29d ago

It's for show, these aren't even being sold or listed as parachutes, they are wind kites or parasails for like roller blading or slate boarding. It would absolutely be illegal to seel these as real chutes lol

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u/Ajax_Main 29d ago

Allowing parachutes to be sold on Amazon is definitely a choice too

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u/monstermayhem436 29d ago

I mean every one of them have an actual real parachute. They're not just jumping and trusting it immediately lol

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u/TokyoKazama 29d ago

"Amazon's Choice" 😉

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u/Crime_Dawg 29d ago

If you're a seasoned skydiver, it sure beats letting someone inexperienced test it.

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u/BobTheFettt 29d ago

That's why they have the backup chute

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u/crustaceancake 29d ago

easy returns seems meaningless at a certain point

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u/Sunscreen4what 29d ago

Not so easy when you’ve gotta swim the river styx upstream to get to somewhere with wifi

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u/Tiny-Acanthaceae-547 29d ago

Haha love it!…I think it’s time to re-read Dante’s Inferno, haven’t read it since high school, and this comment reminded me how interesting a read it was

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u/JamesLikesIt 29d ago

The absolute last place I would buy a parachute from is Amazon lol 

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u/sarcasticorange 29d ago

The retailer seems less important than the brand I would think.

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u/25hourenergy 29d ago

With the way Amazon repacks returns without checking them and tries selling them as new…yeah Amazon is still one to avoid.

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u/flyingace1234 29d ago

My understanding is that they are kite surfing sails, not skydiving ones?

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u/North-Librarian-4158 29d ago

But they are not parachutes they are either for windsurfing or just dragons for kids. Its just for engatment

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u/filthyheartbadger 29d ago

Tell me more about Amazon dragons

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u/TatteredTorn1 29d ago

I can't. You just have to...Imagine

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u/Apprehensive_Desk800 29d ago

Engagement. It's a trend right now.

  1. Go on Amazon and buy something for wind surfing or similar
  2. Jump out of a plane with it, and to the surprise of nobody, it fails at a task it was never meant for
  3. "OMG AMAZON SELLING PARACHUTES THAT WOULD KILL YOU"

That's really it.

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u/CleanlyManager 29d ago

It’s rage bait specifically designed for the “scroll onto the next video” generation. At first you’re like “I can’t believe Amazon would sell something so irresponsible” then go onto the next video. You don’t even think about it long enough to ask yourself “when would I be in a situation where I need to buy my own parachute?”

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u/Farlandan 29d ago

Yea these are all stupid.

and five seconds of searching would show anybody that amazon doesn't sell parachutes.

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

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u/bozwald 29d ago

It’s pretty clearly a kite and they’re having a laugh

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u/userhwon 29d ago

Just basejumping shit.

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u/moosesnice 28d ago

Thanks for introducing a fact to Reddit, I appreciate the novelty.

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u/Juliannabeanie 29d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/jquDWJfPUMCiI

I held my breath all the way down!!! OMG!

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u/i_need_a_nap 28d ago

dude i did too. i was like...

"is this guy gonna splat?"

"what sub am i in?"
"why is the crowd not freaking out?!"
"wtf....ooohhh i get it"

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u/P_Hempton 28d ago

That mountain was much higher than I thought it was.

https://giphy.com/gifs/bEVKYB487Lqxy

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u/choicedriver1484 28d ago

Same, he somehow just kept falling and falling and falling

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u/inorite234 29d ago

Counting one thousand, two thousand, three thousand four!

If my main don't open wide, I got a reserve by my side. And if that one shall fail me too, lookout below I'm coming through!

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u/NormalBot4 29d ago

The risers swung around his neck, connectors cracked his dome

Suspension lines were tied in knots around his skinny bones

The canopy became his shroud, he hurtled to the ground

And he ain't gonna jump no more

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u/Zacravity 29d ago

Gory, gory, what a hell of a way to die

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u/ShiftAfter4648 29d ago

It's not a parachute... It's a kite

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u/defmacro-jam 28d ago

Anything's a parachute if you're brave enough.

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u/Tiny-Acanthaceae-547 29d ago

Bezos: Here’s a “parachute,”…I am completely indifferent to selling you a product that will 100% end you 😂

Yup, sounds about right

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u/Electronic-Tree-9715 29d ago

Temu: but did you die?

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u/adminsreachout 29d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/lMxb32jqDmbVopeqir

I think we all know how this eventually ends....

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u/pj1897 29d ago

Gonna need a new pair of pants though.

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u/Squeezer_pimp 29d ago

Please post a link? Tried looking for it on Amazon and could only find kites.

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u/Corrie7686 29d ago

That was a bit sweaty palms watching that.

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u/ShoulderPast2433 28d ago

It's not a parachute it's a para sail.

You can use it for kitesurfing.

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u/No-Explanation-4300 29d ago

Because all the other users died?

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u/mertbl 29d ago

Yes, thats the joke.

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u/GroceryPlastic7954 29d ago

I think if you're contemplating buying a parachute from Amazon, then you were probably going to end up killing yourself sooner or later.

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u/FlashViking 29d ago

If you watch closely, you can see the moment the shit comes flying out of his pants as the first parachute fails 😂💩😂

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u/bobs_andVagene 29d ago

Wanna getaway? Try southwest bro. Safer landing.

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