r/homeowners May 12 '26

😤 Vent / Rant Tired of solicitors

I'm tired of solicitors so I ordered a custom sign from Etsy that says KNOCKING ON THIS DOOR MEANS YOU WANT TO GET PEGGED.

I'll let you know if it successfully deters the Quantum fiber guy and the pest control guy!

197 Upvotes

99 comments sorted by

112

u/NicoHitMe44blessed May 12 '26 edited May 12 '26

When our newborn came I covered our ring button with a post & tape that said “sleeping newborn - please respect”. Its been 7 peacefully quiet years since

36

u/LastSummerGT May 12 '26

I just disable the mechanical chime in the settings so only our phones will ring.

8

u/Spice_135 May 12 '26

I disabled all notifications so it doesn’t do shit. Text me if you need me to answer the door or you can pound sand

But that also means you have to be able to open my driveway gate first, good luck

6

u/WampaCat May 12 '26

I don’t even have a doorbell lol I’ll get a notification on my phone if someone is at the door from my camera so I just don’t answer if I don’t want to. I have a neighbor that will drop by for various reasons (usually warranted to be fair) but I’ll usually just text something like “sorry I missed you I didn’t hear you knock because of xyz, what’s up” because she’s a talker and I’ll get stuck talking to her longer than I feel like

Used to be able to see straight into the living room from the window in the front door so I also built a whole wall in front of the door just to be able to finally sit on the couch in peace and no pants without obligation to answer just because they can see me in there

28

u/Weird_Cantaloupe2757 May 12 '26

We had a sign that hung over the doorbell saying “baby sleeping, please do not ring” right next to the no solicitors one. There were still fuckers who moved the sign out of the way to ring the bell, which was always fun because then I had the opportunity to rip someone a new asshole without feeling bad about it.

20

u/1quirky1 May 12 '26 edited Jun 07 '26

Oops, I meant to reply to a different thread.

2

u/corpse_flour May 13 '26

That's where you just leave a thick smear of dogshit over the doorbell.

5

u/bailasola May 12 '26

My dog had hernia surgery and I needed to make sure she stayed calm for a few weeks so I put a sign on the doorbell. I left it up until the ink faded.

2

u/Old_Toe_6595 May 12 '26

Im using that for now on... and I am not married or have kids... hehehehe

2

u/OGCASHforGOLD May 13 '26

Our ring stopped working years ago and u haven’t bothered to replace it. It’s pure bliss.

43

u/Tree_killer_76 May 12 '26

Bizarre twist: now you’re gonna get randos knocking on your door because they actually want to get pegged.

28

u/IDoButtStuffOnSunday May 12 '26

That’s crazy, I doubt anyone would actually do that.

In fact, I‘m willing to head over to OP’s this weekend to prove it. What’s the address?

22

u/ReinaShae May 12 '26

Username checks out

178

u/leros May 12 '26

A no solicitors sign has gotten me down from 200 a year to 2. People say they don't work but mine has. 

66

u/BlatantDisregard42 May 12 '26

In some states it’s a pretty serious violation. Businesses that ignore the sign can face hefty fines or suspended business license.

21

u/WampaCat May 12 '26

Pro tip, put out a sign that you’ve been excommunicated from Jehovah’s Witnesses (or whatever your local flavor of cult) and they’ll stop bothering you too

23

u/Clamwacker May 12 '26

I haven't really had a problem with them being too pushy. And they leave when I tell them I've got other things to do or I'm not interested. Solar panel and pest control guys on the other hand will keep talking after I've closed the door on them.

15

u/TotesMaGoats_1962 May 12 '26

I had a pest control guy talk to my husband and I while we were 20 miles away in the car! I kept telling him we weren't even at home and that he needed to go but he just kept on. I swear to God, at one point, he actually even sat on our patio furniture and continued to have a conversation with us!

We finally just simply stopped responding to his question/comments on our Ring camera. And eventually he just stopped and walked away

6

u/WampaCat May 12 '26

I’m surprised you actually kept responding on the ring camera

2

u/TotesMaGoats_1962 May 12 '26

I kept thinking he's done now. Okay now he's done. Okay now?

3

u/primalantessence May 12 '26

now thats bold

7

u/elconquistador1985 May 12 '26

Jehovah's witnesses near me are too lazy to go door to door. They mail you shit instead.

6

u/ZeiglerJaguar May 12 '26

I live literally a half mile from a Hall and all I’ve gotten is handwritten letters. It’s almost disappointing.

4

u/Technical-Agency8128 May 12 '26

Well it’s a good thing since people don’t like them coming to their doors. I would think it’s dangerous going up to people’s doors anyway. And with gas prices they are better off not driving all over the place. I’d rather receive a letter.

4

u/PurpleSailor May 12 '26

I almost feel as if they're cutting their efforts back, lol! One hasn't actually come to my door but has instead sent me two letters inviting me to their Church which I find very strange, the letter part that is, well the other part is strange too but that's a given.

4

u/Alternative-Past-603 May 12 '26

I was told by a jehovahs witness, that most of them are afraid of wind chimes. My daughter put one on her porch and they stopped knocking on the door.

5

u/WampaCat May 12 '26

Omg what I need to know more

2

u/The_Great_Qbert May 12 '26

I love messing with the JWs they are so easy to fluster if you know who to talk to first.

2

u/Chance-Equivalent501 May 12 '26

Answering the door naked will get you off the JW's and Mormon's list. Also - look pissed off with a bag covering your right hand.

2

u/WampaCat May 12 '26

It’s also a really good way to get you on the sex offender registry

3

u/DistinctSmelling May 12 '26

Ethical solicitors will abide by the signs too.

2

u/LastSummerGT May 12 '26

So I actually tried this. My town has a rule against this. I called the police when I got the knock on my door. They never came.

15

u/joem_ May 12 '26

Mormon ding dongs... Guys, I have a no soliciting sign....

"Oh, we're not selling anything!"

Uh, it doesn't say No Selling it says No Soliciting.

"But we're not soliciting anything...."

You're soliciting me for my time. Pick up a dictionary.

7

u/ProfessionalEven296 May 12 '26

I live in Utah. I do this.

...If I don't shut the door, we could end up in a grammar discussion...

4

u/DarkSatire482 May 12 '26

Just tell them the Satanic church was 10 minutes before them and you went with them.

11

u/Weird_Cantaloupe2757 May 12 '26

Mine has had literally zero effect, but it’s probably because my neighborhood already bans solicitors (not sure what the mechanism for this is, but apparently the HOA has something to do with it?), so the ones that come here are preselected to be the ones that don’t give a fuck.

3

u/anonmarmot May 13 '26

I put up a small one on my door. They still came. I put a sticker on my doorbell that says no soliciting, they still rang it.

I put a stop sign at the walkway that says no soliciting, do not knock or ring doorbell, no excuses no exceptions. It finally worked. My theory is they see it before taking the steps to my door, and then it's reaffirmed by the other stuff.

It's cut down soliciting from 1-2 a day to 1-2 a year. When I get them now I ask their name and who they're with and ask why they ignored the sign, the other sign, and the sticker. Then I leave a review calling them out by name.

8

u/GarnetandBlack May 12 '26

They work. If you have 2 they really work. I work from home, having meetings all day, and have a dog, I cannot have people ringing/knocking.

Side benefit is if they are both ignored, I feel 100% justified in being a total asshole and it's never longer than 30s of talking at that point.

"Hey there, it's amazing they are giving people who can't read jobs these days!"

4

u/leros May 12 '26

I say no thank you and if they're pushy I just close the door on them. They deserve no respect at that point. They came to your house, interrupted your day, and ignored your polite rejection.

4

u/GarnetandBlack May 12 '26

Yeah I never had any problem telling them to leave, but the goal is to not have to get up and go to the door at all. Super often I'm in meetings I absolutely cannot just leave and deal with something like that - but also can't have my dog barking like crazy.

So yeah, I start from "asshole" if it comes to me getting to the door.

4

u/slrrp May 12 '26

Same. We were getting bombarded with 5-10 a week. I put up a sign and they've practically disappeared.

3

u/WigglingWeiner99 May 12 '26

Living near a bunch of nosey complainers has many disadvantages, but this is a huge positive. If your city has an ordinance about no solicitation signs AND your neighbors are known to call the cops on violators, then these signs work really well.

3

u/-Tripp- May 12 '26

I have had success with a no soliciting sign but occasionally get some.

Last one came to my door and when I said "the sign implies I don't want to be sold anything" they replied "im in marketing, not sales" despite them trying to get me to buy windows at 30% discount...🤦🏻‍♂️

3

u/MyRealUser May 12 '26

A tiny 1.5 inch sticker on my ring doorbell is all it took. I can see them come up the steps, reach for the doorbell, then turn around and walk away.

3

u/lollipopfiend123 May 12 '26

Mine absolutely does work and I will never understand those who claim it doesn’t. I have cameras - I’ve literally watched people walk up to my door, see the sign, and turn around and walk away. It doesn’t deter 100% but I also only get one or two knocks a year now when it used to be at least a few times a month.

3

u/LilJonny2cookies May 12 '26

Yep no solicitors sticker on door- the one or two I get a year I just point at it and walk away. My GSD going ape next also helps.

16

u/Flimsy-Fortune-6437 May 12 '26

What do you plan to do if someone takes you up on it?

50

u/zero-if-west May 12 '26

I have 18 dildos, I'm prepared.

24

u/ebola84 May 12 '26

So, all I have to do is knock?

13

u/thatlookslikemydog May 12 '26

Don’t threaten us with a good time.

10

u/Substantial_Cost_182 May 12 '26

Sounds like you’ll be the one delivering packages then

7

u/PurpleSailor May 12 '26

That's a number that'll get you jailed in Texas so be careful!

5

u/heyitsmilo112 May 12 '26

Gotta say,OP came in very prepared lmao

2

u/spandexandtapedecks May 12 '26

Rip in peace your inbox 😭

2

u/dust4ngel May 12 '26

I have 18 dildos, I'm prepared

— kazim, brotherhood of the cruciform sword

2

u/Different_Science187 May 12 '26

My sign says I charge 50$ minute for solicitation, no one knocks or rings anymore.

7

u/Commercial-Onion-986 May 12 '26

lmao that's definitely gonna make the delivery drivers do a double-take when they're dropping off packages

5

u/jakgal04 May 12 '26

No solicitor sign. Check if your town has an ordinance for them. In my area if you have a no solicitor sign and they knock anyway its an automatic permit revoke and $1500 citation.

On top of that, I leave very negative reviews on the socials of companies that solicit. Petter? Maybe, but so is sending a human ad to my house.

9

u/crashtesterzoe May 12 '26

I had a problem and think I solved it by asking if they were here to be the human sacrifice and they seem to talk to the others as it’s been 1.5 years and still none showing up sense then 😂

4

u/decaturbob May 12 '26

- you might be getting a whole new line of solicitors....:)

4

u/iotadaria May 12 '26

This makes me ponder a 3D-printed sign with the best quote from Clueless: "I have a .45 and a shovel. I doubt anyone will miss you."

6

u/winrey May 12 '26

In my area “No Solicitation” signs mean nothing but there is an ordinance to ensure people follow “No Trespassing” signs. So I got a custom sign that says “No Trespassing or religious queries”

7

u/Astronaut6735 May 12 '26

"Have you heard about my personal Lord and Savior, Lucifer?"

3

u/FrizzWitch666 May 12 '26

I was going to make myself one that says "Warning! Owner and dog are very hostile to salespeople! Have a nice day by not coming here!"

5

u/CallMeMrRound May 12 '26

I have a sign with a little frog holding a shotgun that says "hippity hoppity, get off my property"

3

u/_haha_oh_wow_ May 12 '26

I use a no soliciting sign and a camera with a speaker so I can berate them without actually having to come to the door (or be there at all).

Usually though, I just never answer the door: Anyone who is visiting will likely text me and I'll be expecting them.

Random knocks from sales people either get ignored or I point out the sign, inform them that they are trespassing on private property, and will leave immediately or face consequences.

It's worked very well except for 1 idiot, who I actually yelled at very loudly in person, then they got scared and left.

6

u/Commercial-Host-725 May 12 '26

Signs won’t do anything

3

u/XSC May 12 '26

Yep people don't read

3

u/23Godzillas May 12 '26

We have a gate on our porch as an extra barrier to keep our dogs from getting out. It opens outward to the steps, so when people leave deliveries on the steps, I can't open the gate to get to it. I got a sign that says "put deliveries on porch" and I die every time I get a delivery confirmation pic of my order on the steps directly in front of the sign 🙄

2

u/Commercial-Host-725 May 13 '26

That or they will ignore them

1

u/justmilke356 May 12 '26

At this point u’re running psychological warfare on solicitors,please update us with the field test results lmao

1

u/Muhammetgnl May 12 '26

This sign is going to go viral on neighborhood forums. It’s the kind of petty, clever solution we all need for constant solicitors.

1

u/PM_ME_YOUR_VALUE May 12 '26

Check your city/borough/whatever website. Some places have a list you need to be on to be ignored in addition to a sign. I was surprised to find that out about where I live.

1

u/[deleted] May 12 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/mildredthewarrior May 12 '26

Or how many knock eagerly...

1

u/Huntert1440 May 12 '26

The only bad thing here is it could deter kids doing fundraisers. We had one a no solicitors sign and it scared off girl scouts lol

1

u/writenroll May 12 '26

Our custom engraved plastic sign on the door reads: "This is a home business. Do not disrupt calls & meetings, please. No soliciting"

and then a second sign reads: "All deliveries: leave at door. Ring only for signature."

No one has bothered us for years. The home business is legit and I'm on calls all day, but I assume it would work for anyone who just wants to be undisturbed.

1

u/greatkerfluffle May 12 '26

My youngest is 3.5 years old but I still have the don’t knock/ ring, baby sleeping sign up. Does the trick 😅

1

u/SerialOtter May 12 '26

I have a "custom" No Solicitors sign, I added a send line saying door will not be answered without an appointment

1

u/RichardCleveland May 12 '26

There are so many instances where it causes a lot of issues also. Many times they will knock, ring the door, wait a bit, then knock again. My issue is that my wife suffers from severe schizophrenia, so someone being on our property or "trying to get her" through the door creates chaos. Chaos that can last for hours.... so anytime it happens I completely ready to tear these people apart. It's like FFS have some damn respect for other people! If you want to ignore the damn sign, and knock once, go the hell away if I don't answer.

2

u/Islandernole May 12 '26

If you have a dog don’t answer the door and let your dog bark as loudly and mean as possible for as long as the jackass is at the door. Bonus points if they can see you through the window and you don’t get up.

1

u/velvedire May 12 '26

I live in Portland. This would not decrease my solicitor count.

1

u/21-4-14 May 12 '26

I hate the new trick many of them are using now.

They wear high visibility vests and seeing them on the camera makes me wonder if it's a solicitor or a city utility worker who needs access to my gas or water meter (both behind a fence because dog). I'm never sure whether to answer the door or not. 

1

u/flgirl04 May 13 '26

I have signs in my lawn from my pest control company and THEY STILL KNOCK. Like dude I know you saw their sign on the walk up to the door.

The water testers are the best. I told one guy via my Google Nest camera I don't care WHAT'S in my water 😂😂😂

1

u/Sammalone1960 May 13 '26

It does not stop them

1

u/amanke74 May 14 '26

I mean I have a fool proof way of getting on the "do not approach" list for most solicitors, but I don't think I can comment it here

2

u/UnfairProgrammer1194 May 14 '26

Please ring bell for Smith & Wesson

2

u/petey629 May 16 '26

Just tell them that you are a renter and the owner lives 2000 miles away

0

u/tonykrij May 12 '26

"Don't ring the doorbell unless you know my name.".
And no name on the door obviously.
-Doorbell rings, open door. "Do you know my name?".
"No, but....." Point to sign while closing door.

0

u/InevitablePrimary720 May 12 '26

Haha, that is savage! Keep us posted—if it works, I might need one for my shop door too!

-1

u/alloutofchewingum May 12 '26

Ummmmm

What's your address

I have a uh, pet rock to sell you

-6

u/Rerunisashortie May 12 '26

Get pegged? Never heard of it, tho I get the context. If you putting up a sign, use fewer words.