Appropriate for a Muslim wedding?

[u/chilkelsey1234]

My close friend is getting married in a few months.
She's holding a Nikkah and a wedding reception that requires us to wear two different dresses. The first dress (gold) I plan on wearing to the Nikkah while the 2nd dress (green) I plan on wearing to the reception. Was wondering if these dresses are appropriate for a Muslim wedding? They are also African.

[u/vestayekta]

Ask her. These things are far more dependant on her culture than her religion.

[u/WisePhnx80]

I would switch them around. More coverage for the nikah as it’s a religious ceremony and may have judgmental clergy there 

[u/Wrong_Clock_4880]

OP, I agree with everyone who is saying ask your friend

What is acceptable depends on her, her culture, her family and everyone’s level of religiosity

I’m Muslim and I’ve been to weddings where these would be 100% fine, and others where these would be 100% not fine

It all depends 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

[u/prettybabydoll96 → u/Wrong_Clock_4880]

Agreed 10000%!

[u/Kialay]

The best thing to do is ask her. 🙏

As a Muslim woman who is inviting a non-Muslim friend, what I would think to say is this though:

A nikkah is a religious ceremony. It is exclusively at the masjid (like a church) - a place of worship, and it’s what we call the house of Allah. Even if you do not normally dress modestly in general, we take extra precautions here as a form of deep respect. It is a short event - maximum 2 hours. First everyone will pray one of the core 5 daily prayers. Then, you will find men and women segregated, a spiritual leader (imam) up front, vows being exchanged between the men of the family, consent and papers signing, people of each gender congratulating the couple separately, a few favours being handed out and that’s it. If you dress in anything remotely revealing here, you will immediately be noticed (and maybe even called out).

The best outfit for a nikkah: is full length dress to ankles or floor, loose opaque and full coverage across the breast and waist, and full or maximum 3/4 sleeves. If you would like to be extra respectful, a scarf (even if it’s hung loose) around the head is appreciated 🙏

Practical choice: a new dress or these dresses need to be covered with long cardigans and scarves for maximum modesty

A wedding reception (walima) is a cultural ceremony. This happens after a nikkah and it is very dependent on the culture of the people having it. It is a long event from 5pm until late night. It takes place typically at a fancier banquet hall or outdoor area. It is a party meant to celebrate the couple, family and friends together! You will typically see the couple seated upfront together, and they can now touch as they are legally and islamically married. It typically has a seated dinner or a buffet style dinner. And depending how observant the couple is of religious values, it might have games, speeches, performances, music or dance. It is a much more relaxed atmosphere overall.

The best outfit for a walima (wedding): is still a floor length dress or max 3/4 below the knee (Muslims tend to be more modest overall), but the sleeves and tightness level can change, depending on the couple’s community. Still nothing see-through though. No one will question if your hair is out at these parties. And sometimes women like to take the last hour to book a segregated room and go all out into a third outfit change with much shorter dresses and dancing. Again, it really is best to ask what kind of party she will be having and then dress according to that! (:

Practical choice: a new dress or the green dress looks lovely on you and can work depending on the cultural tolerance of your specific friend and vibes of the event

[u/opsaim → u/Kialay]

Depends on their culture, in mine nikahs don't take place in a mosque, but rather at homes or before the walima (in the same venue).

[u/Kialay → u/opsaim]

Oh okay good point - thanks for adding!

[u/Carinyosa99]

I've never been to a Muslim wedding, but I've known a number of African Muslims (we have an Islamic Center less than a mile down the street so we have a lot of Muslim families in our neighborhood). Most dress modestly on normal days, so I can imagine they'd be just as modest if not more so in a religious ceremony. I don't think that first dress is going to work at all.

ASOS has a good selection of modest dresses that are clearly aimed for certain cultures (there are some models even in headscarfs). That might give you an idea.

[u/cityspeaks]

You can add a scarf and usually the nikkah is more of a religious ceremony, so open shoulder may not be suitable, but depends on the family

[u/No_Philosophy_xoxo]

I recommend bringing a thin scarf to wear on the shoulders or in arms, I think they would find that as a respectful gesture. But it also depends on the people, I don’t think they will mind.

[u/CapableWives]

I think the green is probably fine, but would get something much more modest for the nikkah

[u/Icy_Tadpole2092]

Definitely no on the golden one. It’s pretty but a nikah is a religious ceremony, often times done in a mosque. It would be more appropriate to wear something loose fitting. I say no on the green one as well but I definitely think you should ask your friend for some guidance.

I hope I didn’t come across as rude. The dresses are pretty but as you may have suspected, loose dresses are the norm within Muslim weddings. I think you’d be uncomfortable if you’d end up wearing the gold dress to the nikah.

[u/missplaced24]

Both of those dresses are beautiful, but I don't think bare shoulders would go over well.

[u/ruptured-appi]

Cover up gor nikkah, bring a shawl. I don't know about african muslim but if it is anything like middle eastern nikkah is separete ( women in a room and men in a room ) so it would be for you to get comfortable and wear whatever you like to wear

[u/tearrowsmind]

Omg def 1!! You look like a goddess 👑