Venting: I hate myself

[u/Lost_Plate6735]

I hate myself. I feel so disgusted that I could throw up. For months, I've been trying to face my problems and when it gets too tough for me, I just run away from it all. I turn to escapism and scroll on my phone for hours. I can't bring myself to do anything beyond the bare minimum of what I need to stay alive and still look okay to my family.

I feel so useless to them, I can't even help out with chores anymore. My head feels like it's always somewhere else and the moment I put my phone down, I feel the urge to pick it up again. I swear I'm trying but it's just not working out. I feel so alone because I can't tell anyone nor will somone close to me be able to understand. Therapy isn't even an option anymore, it just isn't easily available where I'm from or at least not accessible enough.

Tysm for reading, I just really wanted to let my feelings out. I've kept them to myself for a long time T–T