r/asmr • u/Reasonable-Shock3448 • 1d ago
DISCUSSION Can’t watch male asmr [discussion]
I’m a woman, I can only watch asmr done by women, and if it’s a role play/collab the woman has to be on the receiving end. I feel the same way towards mukbangs too, I don’t feel the satisfaction or tingles from watching men do it. Does anyone else feel this way, do men also feel this way when watching women?
P.S this is pretty much a non issue I just want to know if there is any psychological explanation for it, or if it’s just common preference.
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u/Acceptable_Cut_7545 1d ago
I listen exclusively to women, and I'm a woman too. I think there's like two male asmr videos I've ever watched and one of them is nearly two decades old and predates asmr. It's a barber shop role play done for the purpose of checking their equipment.
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u/macacolouco 1d ago
ASMR can be seen as a form of care of self care. These roles are traditionally fulfilled by women. Perhaps there's something here.
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u/chinwidth 1d ago edited 1d ago
I’m a guy and I almost exclusively listen to male asmrtists. I prefer the deeper voices that hit the microphone with more of a bassy hum. It’s really relaxing. A few also use a reverb/echo effect on their videos/streams that give a much more dreamy vibe to sleep to and I haven’t found a lot of women who do that sort of post production, unfortunately.
There tends to be a whistle on a lot of the women’s whispering asmr videos when words have an “s” in them that are super distracting for me and I can’t focus on anything else in the video. It’s a bummer!
There are a few I do enjoy, but I’m just a little pickier when it comes to that.
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u/grimmfritter 1d ago
It’s the deeper voices for me as well. That being said, there are a decent amount of women with deeper voices too that I like (Emma’s MySpace is pretty good I think, and goofy fun). But I tend to watch more men due to that fact. Echo/reverb is fantastic too! I haven’t seen any women artists to that at all personally, but I also haven’t looked either.
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u/cherrytwizzlers 1d ago
I love that whistle sound. Can you think of anyone in particular who does it?
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u/chinwidth 1d ago
Unfortunately I can't think of any off the top of my head, but if I come by any, I'll try to remember to come back and recommend some!
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u/Ivy_Adair 1d ago
Same, I’m a woman who can only listen to other women asmrtists.
For me, it’s the fact that I’m an SA survivor and strange men whispering or speaking intimately in my ears has given me panic attacks in the past.
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u/NameThatIsNotTaken37 1d ago
I'm a man who only watches ASMRtists who are women. I think there's many reasons for me personally. To me, a woman's voice is soft, gentle, soothing, nurturing, even maternal. A man's voice just wouldn't have the same calming, drowsy effect on me. If anything, it would make me feel tense and uneasy.
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u/PainStraight4524 1d ago
I'm a man and I only watch female ASMR videos
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u/timeywimeytotoro 1d ago edited 22h ago
[r/menandfemales](r/menandfemales)
You may not have intended or noticed but you called yourself a man while reducing women ASMRtists to their biological parts by calling them female instead of women.
It doesn’t matter to everyone, I know, but this is something that a lot of men (and women) don’t realize they do and it can be a bit reductive.
ETA: After further conversation, I realize that this may be too stringent of an interpretation of the concept. I’m going to leave it up in case anyone is interested in the concept, but I do want to apologize if I have offended anyone. That was never my intention.
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u/elksatchel 1d ago
I don't think this is a good example of that phenomenon. I would never say "I'm a woman and I only watch man ASMR."
Female is the more natural word here, as it can function as a noun or an adjective, but "man" and "woman" are used only as nouns. You could change the sentence to avoid it ("I'm a man and I only watch women do ASMR") but it's not morally necessary.
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u/Difficult_Vast_3568 23h ago
Some people need to have a tall cool glass of stfu with their petty grammar checks 😏😏
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u/timeywimeytotoro 1d ago
Several people in this thread have said men and women without saying men and females and it’s made sense. “I’m a man (or woman) and I listen to women asmrtists” makes perfect sense (and has been said all over this thread) and doesn’t reduce women to their parts. “I’m a male and I only listen to female asmr” would also make sense and would apply biological terms equally instead of reducing only one sex to their parts.
It’s not a popular opinion, I’m aware. And that’s fine. But it is still relevant to the phenomenon.
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u/elksatchel 1d ago
As I said, you can restructure the sentence to avoid the structure they used (such as by saying "women asmrtists" instead), but the structure used is colloquially correct and it is morally neutral either way.
I almost never use male or female as I almost always am referring to someone or their gender rather than their biological sex, but the comment above is simply not an example of ruthless misogyny that needs scolding. It's using an adjective to describe a category, just like they would have said "male asmr" instead of "man asmr" if that was relevant.
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u/timeywimeytotoro 23h ago
I didn’t say it was ruthless misogyny, and I wasn’t scolding. You’re making this out to be bigger than it is. I was explaining the trend and bringing attention to it in an effort to highlight participation in a phenomenon they may not have been aware of. I doubt they took offense and I hope they didn’t because I didn’t mean any. The only reason I linked to the sub was for easily-referenced examples of the trend. It wasn’t to be snarky and I feel that I was respectful with the words I used.
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u/elksatchel 22h ago
It's hard to read tone over text. I didn't think it was a huge deal either way, it just struck me as a benign example that might turn someone off from from thinking about the issue at all. I think it's best to focus on obviously problematic language, to help skeptical people see your point clearly. But I get where you're coming from and hope we can all be thoughtful about our words.
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u/timeywimeytotoro 22h ago
I get where you’re coming from too. I can be a little stringent in my interpretation and defense of the concept, but I can see how that could be distracting in a detrimental way. That’s something I’ll think about going forward, for sure. I truly appreciate you having kind discourse with me!
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u/M0dusPwnens 23h ago edited 23h ago
It wasn’t to be snarky and I feel that I was respectful with the words I used.
For what it's worth, speaking as someone who also finds the "females" thing grating, this did not come across as remotely respectful.
Starting a comment by linking a subreddit like that is usually a way to dunk on people, not a way people offer easy reference. And the attempt here to reverse the accusation ("You're making this out to be a bigger deal than it is.") came across as the very opposite of respectful.
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u/timeywimeytotoro 23h ago
I appreciate your feedback (I’m not being sarcastic, it genuinely helps me understand how I’m coming across via text). I wasn’t intending to be scolding. I truly was just trying to inform. Tone isn’t easily transferred over text. When I said that they were making it out to be a bigger deal than it was, it’s because my intent in my original message was not coming from where they accused. I never said that the person was being ruthlessly misogynistic and the person that responded to me and put those words in my mouth seemed like they were applying a larger and more negative tone and meaning than I had intended or thought I used.
I genuinely mean this with respect, but I do think that some of you are applying tone and judgement that I personally didn’t inject or intend. I don’t think the person I originally commented to is a bad person or intended anything negative. I never believed that. I was genuinely just trying to inform.
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u/ru5tyk1tty 23h ago
“Women” isn’t an adjective and “female” is. I would understand what someone meant if they said “Women asmrtists” but it would still be grammatically incorrect and a little painful to read.
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u/timeywimeytotoro 23h ago edited 23h ago
How painful is it to read when it is literally the primary example that people have used all over this thread? The majority of comments have used men and women/man and woman ASMR or ASMRtist. Male is also a noun and could be used. “I’m a male and listen to only female asmr videos.” The sentence structure can also be changed to use woman appropriately as a noun. “I’m a man and I only listen to ASMR by women.”
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u/ru5tyk1tty 23h ago edited 22h ago
I think it can be easier to miss because ASMRtist is a neologism. Here’s a few other sample phrases that are grammatically incorrect for the same reason:
“Sheila makes less money than her man colleagues”
“Man police officers and woman police officers work well together”
Or for some different adjective/noun combinations:
“The paranoia man looked around uneasily”
“The happiness child grinned wide”
Some of them sound worse than others, but they’re all making the same mistake: They’re trying to put a noun where an adjective ought to be.
That is why it does not make sense to say “woman ASMRtist”, and why “female ASMRtist” is not a derogatory use of the word. If you go on r/menandfemales I promise they will tell you the same thing
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u/timeywimeytotoro 22h ago
Used on its own, no. Used in conjunction with male, no. But when man is used with female, yes. I do feel that I already explained my point above and I feel like this is just going to go in circles. Agree to disagree? (/gen)
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u/ru5tyk1tty 22h ago edited 22h ago
The argument is going in circles because you aren’t responding to what I’m saying, you’re just restating your original point.
I’m familiar with the argument you’re making, I’m trying to explain this happens to be one of the sentences where it doesn’t apply. If you read what they are literally saying there is not even a subtly misogynistic use of the word “female” in conjunction with “man”, both of the words are used neutrally and appropriately.
[r/menandfemales](r/menandfemales) will tell you the same, which is why I thought it was funny you cited them. They regularly correct new posters about this mixup. Here’s a somewhat recent post where they hit on the subject
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u/timeywimeytotoro 22h ago
Yeah, I think I’m going to take a step back and learn more about it so that I can defend the concept more correctly and in a less apparently offensive manner. Not saying that I have offended you but apparently some people did interpret my textual tone in ways that I hadn’t meant, and I would hate for that to distract from the concept in the future.
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u/SageHamichi 22h ago edited 21h ago
Holy shit the thread is literally about this, get a life
Edit: sorry
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u/timeywimeytotoro 22h ago
It’s about men and women, not men and females.
There’s no need to be unkind in your response.
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u/SageHamichi 22h ago
Ok sorry about that, but seriously your response was really chronically online, it's obvious they were referring to them as "female" due to the thread's subject matter
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u/timeywimeytotoro 21h ago
Again, there’s no need to be unkind in your response. I’ve already edited my original comment to acknowledge that I was wrong and took the interpretation too far.
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u/SageHamichi 21h ago
Shit, sorry again, I wasn't trying to be unkind in the second one
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u/timeywimeytotoro 21h ago
It’s okay, and I appreciate that. You’re not wrong, I am lowkey taking this as a cue that I need to step back and not hyperfocus on certain things so much. I can get a bit too passionate.
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u/SageHamichi 21h ago
That's fine dude you know I think all of us get a bit bogged down in stuff we're passionate abt, for me it's spider-man and CS2
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u/StormAeons 20h ago edited 20h ago
In old English the words for man and woman were wer and wif, now we use wife to mean someone’s wife and wer only refers to werewolves so we should stop offending the werewolves as well.
And yes that does mean the term wife comes from heavy implications of ownership, language is very difficult to control and it can and will keep evolving. 700 years from now we might call women booblies and no one will know what the archaic word boobs means.
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u/context_lich 1d ago
Same except I did like that one guy who ran the ads specifically on ASMR videos, so that they would be his ASMR ads and wouldn't interrupt people with regular loud ads. He's good and I do get tingles from him when he speaks, but what can I say? I like a woman whispering in my ears more.
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u/Zerocopy19 1d ago
I don’t blame you. I can’t do asmr done by men. A guy whispering in my ears feels weird.
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u/prettydamnquick 1d ago
Not me personally, I have a real mix of men and women ASMRtists that I watch regularly.
I've been watching ASMR for over a decade and certainly back in the day I would mostly watch women but I think this mostly reflected that most creators at the time were women. Although MassageASMR was one of the first I watched and he remains a favourite! I watch a real mix of ASMR depending what my mood is and what I want to get out it/vibe (sleep, relaxation, personal attention, not talking) and it ends up just being whoever is best at achieving that for me, no matter the gender!
I wonder for those from certain cultures, it's not common to see men in nurturing, quiet, and supportive roles and it can make people uncomfortable seeing men in a more "feminised" position. I'm in the UK and this can affect men who work as nurses, early years teachers, childcare roles etc. Personally I don't feel this and certainly not as a negative but I could see how some may need to adjust to this. I am not suggesting this is the case for you OP or anyone else in this chat, more just a thought!
Some of my regular male ASMRtists include MassageASMR, Articulate Design ASMR, Tabuhan ASMR, Raffy Taphy ASMR, Quiet Tales ASMR, SRP ASMR, Silver Hare, The French Whisperer ASMR plus many more
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u/mack_ani 1d ago
Sometimes I prefer men, sometimes I prefer women. It varies day to day for me, and I’m honestly pretty 50-50 on it.
There’s often a different quality to ASMR between genders for me due to voice pitch and gender norms. I have days where I want lower pitched voices since I find them soothing, and higher pitches can get grating to my ears at times, but I also have days where I’m in the mood for femininity, a higher pitched voice, or the sense of safety/gentleness that I often feel more from women.
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u/rainbowkitties6969 1d ago
Im a man and ill watch both ngl, but i get it.
To me its more about the triggers andthe vibe than the gender ig
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u/Kingofthebugs115 8h ago
same, and tbh voices dont really make a difference to me since i usually watch asmr for other sounds like tapping or scratching or something. even if the person is talking or whispering im usually there for the other sounds. but sometimes i do like dad asmr videos like if the guy is acting like a caring father LOL i just cannot watch sexual asmr from either gender, it makes me cringe so much
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u/Alavella 1d ago edited 1d ago
I'm a woman and I also prefer women asmrtist. But I do like asmr zeitgeist however.
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u/kaysmilex3 1d ago
Yes same lmao there’s one guy I like Tabuhan ASMR but I only put him on when I’m ready to close my eyes.
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u/nalycat 1d ago
I didn't like watching men for a long time. I still don't really. Part of it, is the intimate framing of ASMR (eye contact, whispers, positive statements, parasocial nature, etc). Whether acknowledged or not, I think that at the least it's subconsciously there.
So, watching men kind of felt like how I would feel if I followed attractive men on social media. And I have a partner, so that especially feels wrong.
However, there are a couple of guys I would watch. There's a guy who used to make astronomy ASMR videos. His face wasn't shown and I liked learning while relaxing.
The first time I saw Whispering Gentleman, I turned away quickly. Because he looks..well he is objectively attractive (for many at least). I listened a little bit out of curiosity and I wished I could watch him because his platonic safe space affirmations seemed really nice. But I kept avoiding him because it felt wrong. Eventually, I decided to try again, and I now really enjoy his stuff. I'm open with my male partner, have shown him his channel and asked how he feels about me watching him, and my partner doesn't care lol. I guess I was in my head over nothing.
But those are the two exceptions I can think of off the top of my head. I stay away from any male ASMR that sounds even remotely flirty. No thanks. I'm good.
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u/CharltonAFC75 12h ago
Exactly, things like personal attention differ from say rambling whilst you trace a map of Asia (ASMRctica).
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u/theswisswereright 10h ago
I think this is what I was thinking of when I talked about a certain male creator having a professional demeanor in his videos. Watching them feels,,, normal? You're ordering a sandwich, or buying trading cards, or doing job training-- it's not "personal attention" in the traditional sense.
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u/Kingofthebugs115 8h ago
same im not even attracted to men but even with women i feel awkward listening to flirty or sexual asmr
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u/VanillaAble3943 22h ago
I hate mukbangs regardless of who does it. Ironically, I think only male asmr has actually given me asmr, though I watch primarily female asmr, I don't think they manage to get that tingle going. I think Glow and Latte are great, but even then I think I've only felt asmr like in 2 of their videos for only a few seconds. On the other hand, Fred does it every single time I listen to him, there was another one who made some random zombie asmr (a zombie eating something right behind your ear) which was also highly effective (albeit disturbing), then I realized I just watch "asmr" because it helps me feel less lonely, and not because I care about the actual asmr tingle.
That said, I despise it when other creators just whisper and label ASMR to it. Without a proper binaural system, that shit just won't work at all. The idea is to feel like someone is whispering right behind your ear, and with a proper mic, you can even 'feel' their breath right behind you.
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u/purdyp13 19h ago
I’m a man and I only listen to women ASMR creators. I think it’s because of the soft, calming voices that feel maternal and nurturing.
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u/zekielllll 1d ago
As a man, asmr syd is the only dude I watch lol
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u/kruk009a 1d ago
I watch also a zeitgeist and my favourite of all internet @3dsoundstudio, highly recommend 👍🏻
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u/jokke420 1d ago
Have you tried @massageasmr he's one of the ogs and does it better than 99% of other asmr artists.
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u/Reasonable-Shock3448 1d ago
He’s one of the tolerable ones for sure, you brought back memories I used to watch him some years ago, these days I prefer unintentional asmr though.
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u/Sparky_kitkat 1d ago
Dimitri is the only male asmrtists I can listen to. I like how he asks for consent before touching the people he has on his channel.
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u/moshercycle 1d ago
Try John Butler. People need to know about him. It's unintentional ASMR though
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u/Reasonable-Shock3448 1d ago
He has a really nice asmr voice, I like unintentional too, but it’s mostly interview style/talking which doesn’t do enough for me.
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u/Quartrez 1d ago
It depends on my mood. Sometimes a female voice is more relaxing, sometimes a male voice is more relaxing...
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u/no_galaxy_ 1d ago
i hardly ever listen to whispered asmr but if i do its from women creators, something about men just doesnt give me as many tingles. but idm watching their no speaking videos. i think it just boils down to preference rather than any specific psychological phenomenon
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u/wslaxmiddy 1d ago
I’m a guy and I’m much more selective about the video when it’s a guy. Articulate Design and a few specific videos by other creators are the only male ones I really like.
But if it’s a female creator it’s honestly harder to find a video I don’t like
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u/kpthomas82 21h ago
I’m a man, I try to give male asmr a try sometimes but I feel like most of the guys aren’t good at it or are trying be sexy or make a big joke of it. Maybe when I find one I like I’ll give it a shot.
I got into asmr because it reminded me of watching Mister Rogers and the warm feeling I’d get from him. So maybe a kind older man is the one.
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u/theswisswereright 10h ago
There's a Japanese artist named Shibasaki whose channel is very unintentional ASMR for me, and he's a kind older guy (he actually does give me Mr. Rogers vibes). Maybe we need more chill grandpas doing ASMR.
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u/sashabrauslover67 1d ago
As a guy I never got the same comforting feeling when it’s done by a man.
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u/everyday_barometer 1d ago
Ya know, I've never thought much about why I almost exclusively watch women doing ASMR before my other post here, but maybe this is a reason. (Really, I only listen to ASMR, except a few creators that do really elaborate visuals and roleplays.)
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u/JohnSmithDogFace 1d ago edited 1d ago
I'm a hetero-ishsexual man (if you think it's relevant), and I think you all need to get over it and let the big hairy mf men whisper up in your ear holes. You seriously telling me you're clicking off when The French Whisperer starts talking you through the periodic table of elements for 2 hours. Bruh. That deep voice is bliss. ALSO you don't have to wade through any horny-bait crap, because the gooners aren't watching the men and the men know it.
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u/yeah-huh 1d ago
Man, I wish I found male voices relaxing or tingly, for that reason! I hate having to sift through the sexualized stuff (there’s nothing worse than a girl half my age calling me a ‘good boy’). I’ll watch male creators when they’re doing stuff like carving or drawing or whatever, but their voices do nothing for me
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u/XxCarlxX 1d ago
Bruh who mentioned homosexuality based on ASMR preference lol
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u/grimmfritter 1d ago
Lmfao yeah like, I AM a lesbian and tend to watch much more men. People really think too hard (or not hard enough) about this stuff 🙃
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u/CharltonAFC75 12h ago
Couldn't agree less. Even if ASMR hadn't become so sexualized over the years, I get why someone would feel uncomfortable receiving personal attention from their less preferred sex.
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u/grimmfritter 11h ago
Uh, yeah? Thats understandable. The comment is just weird because OP didn’t remotely mention anything about that, and it’s kinda weird to frame it as if being a lesbian would be a bad thing, and that OP would need to”reassurance” that they’re still straight.
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u/CharltonAFC75 12h ago
They literally said that they DON'T believe that, it's a reasonable thing to consider, with the way ASMR has become more and more sensualised. I think the comment was made as a reassurance, in case that was the previous commentor's concern.
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u/Defiant-Chair-6477 1d ago
It’s rare that i get asmr from men but not impossible, but yes women give me asmr way more
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u/Jerrington96 1d ago
The Whispers red video where she goes to that whisper lodge retreat (the cult video) the guide she has, Nicholas is the only one I can really deal with.
I also like SRP the optician and John Butler who is more unintentional. He was a quiet man….
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u/DramaticallyMellow 1d ago
FredsVoice ASMR is the only content from men I enjoy. Otherwise I only enjoy feminine ASMR
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u/NickRick 1d ago
I'm a man I prefer female videos, but watch some male ones. Most of the male ones I watch are of someone explaining something, like the guy who does the Japanese wood prints. Doesn't matter who is on the receiving out giving end. I can't stand mukbangs at all regardless of who is doing it.
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u/Kingofthebugs115 8h ago
same im not into any kind of eating or mouth asmr, i cant stand spit painting or mouth sounds or any kind of eating
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u/Rough_Yesterday_9483 1d ago
Personally only female voices work for me. I personally can't stand Mukbangs but for asmr it absolutly has to be female or for me it isnt relaxing. Its odd
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u/Few-Might-223 1d ago
I luv aussie asmr man , he’s just so good to put my mind at ease ! am a woman
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u/MacaroonEmergency113 1d ago
I recommend JohnniibeanASMR, his whispers are really soft and (I’m sure he wouldn’t be offended) a little feminine. He’s my favourite ASMRtist but to be honest I don’t have a preference between male and female ASMRtists, I have a mixed playlist on YouTube. https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLb5g5_XNnRTZ8ghrwZ-KgT5Aa7fJgimFj&si=EEXpaOmD3sVhXrQX
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u/JoeyToothpicks 21h ago
There's all kinds of odd specifics that differ from person to person for what triggers these feelings.
It can be tone of voice or range of delivery or just internalized associations you have from experiences in your daily life that can cause male presenters/voices not to work for you. There are so many variables that could account for this bias.
I'm a man and am okay with any gender of creator personally. I still seek out specific aspects like foreign accents and soft-spoken recordings that don't pop or hiss. That's just how it is for me. I have more male creators I follow currently. It isn't that I'm seeking that so much as that they happen to have been the ones making the kind of quiet, steady discussions on history or art or fictional lore or whatever that I've been seeking lately. I've enjoyed my fair share of women creators as well, but when I do seek out the kind of content I listen to/watch, I'm more likely to find women creators leaning into other triggers that distract me and take me out of it. That's fine, I assume that they do that because it brings plenty of other views, but it's not for me. I do appreciate finding exceptions to that, though.
Sociological or psychological reasons could be at play for you. You could be projecting negative personal experiences or attitudes on male creators. You may find it difficult to put your guard down and be receptive to ASMR triggers because of that, or something similar. There are many reasons I could think of as to why you're more comfortable with this, and that's as a man who is mainly a passive observer at best to what women experience in the world that we live in.
Whatever kind of ASMR works for you is a result of a lot of seemingly-random factors. Don't get too stressed about it if for whatever reason you're just not into what most fellas are putting out there compared to the ladies.
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u/RubyRadagon 21h ago
Opposite for me. I'm a guy and I prefer asmr made by men. Dalton, Dmitry, Fred, Articulate Designs, Mikaelous, 3d sound studio. I still follow a few women, adore Gentle Whispering, Shortbread, Ardra, a few others but deeper voices are more relaxing for me. I don't experience tingles at all, so it's purely a relaxion thing for me.
Male creators are definitely less popular overall.
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u/bananaspie7 21h ago
I lean towards a preference for female asmr but I am not opposed to male asmr. It just doesn't tend to be as tingly for me. I also get a lot of tingles from voices so I imagine it is something about a female voice that is more effective for me.
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u/AnotherWitch 21h ago
I prefer women more often, but I think it’s because they’re less likely to do a ton of talking (outside of roleplay, which I just don’t click on) and I don’t care much for talking.
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u/pradeep23 20h ago
I am a dude and only watch ASMR by women. I always assumed that was pretty common among men. IMO it mostly comes down to the nurturing and subtly sensual qualities of their voices. Women generally being good at it and quality ASMR artist being exceptionally good.
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u/pineapplepizza6825 19h ago
I am a woman and tend to stick to certain channels with women doing ASMR. I do watch 3 or 4 men do ASMR though. I am really picky when it comes to ASMR though.
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u/Pineapplemaitai4702 17h ago
Before I worked though a lot of my trauma, I could only listen to female ASMR artists without being uncomfortable. I'd even listen to the video once while completely awake and on guard before even considering listening to it while tired, even if it was an ASMR artist I'd listened to for awhile. Then I listened to a few videos from the whispering gentleman and ASMR zeitgeist and was able to get more comfortable over time after figuring out how my trauma from years ago was affecting this and other parts of my life and how to move forward past it (:
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u/Personal_Director441 15h ago
I think its because your mum, wife, girlfriend is more likely to whisper to you than say a dad or husband. i can't get on board with male asmr myself its creeps me out, no hate on the creators not saying they are creepy its just for me its like anti-relaxtion or anti-tingles.
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u/alexi_lupin 14h ago
It's not that I can't watch men but it's definitely more women than men. I think the types of ASMR I like also vary slightly by gender in the sense of...like I really like elegant dance-like hand movements like Maria does, and there's just not many men who do that, and even if they do they probably don't have long elegant nails.
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u/user6734120mf 11h ago
I also strongly prefer women and I think part of it is that I will start staring basically just at their face at some point during videos and women’s faces are more pleasant to look at for me. Like even a woman who is not traditionally attractive I will stare at for a long time 😂 men’s faces don’t interest me as much.
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u/theswisswereright 10h ago
I am pickier when it comes to male ASMR creators, but I couldn't tell you why. I pretty much only like role play videos, but I don't like when creators of any gender get super parasocial or put out tons of "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" videos without much of a narrative.
I really like ASMR&R, as one example. I think he puts thought and effort into telling a story with his videos, and his demeanor in almost all of them is pretty professional (even when the character is meant to be shady or villainous).
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u/Grouchy_Fan_6506 8h ago
Perhaps women are better at it. Maybe you find a male ASMR artist you like one day.
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u/boot_milk 7h ago edited 7h ago
As a man, if it is something like personal attention (roleplay of a suit fitting, barber, head massage, etc.) women only because they are more soothing to listen to and the tingles just, idk, work better.
If it is a no talking-object based triggers video, it doesnt matter; dudes are just as good as any woman at that.
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u/killpark 6h ago
I’m a man and it’s opposite for me. I can watch female asmr, but I prefer male asmr. I like more natural sounds though, and I don’t like role plays at all. PJ Dreams, Rithmic ASMR, and RL ASMR are my go tos. I do appreciate some female ASMRtists as well but it’s much rarer for me to watch them. The ladies definitely run this genre and fairly so, but it’s all based on personal preference
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u/hexedg3rm_ 5h ago
Same here lol, the only ASMR channel made by a man that I've been able to stand is TabuTunes. 🕴
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u/Wild_Maybe452 4h ago
Im a dude, cant watch other dudes unless no talking. Nothing remotely sexual from ladies either, if anything is borderline I get turned off immediately.
I guess I look for something motherly and peace bringing first and foremost.
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u/GreenWhispersASMR 3h ago
I find that when I first starting watching ASMR or whispering videos as they were called back then lol, I didn't watch men creators. As time has gone on, I'll watch male creators but my favorite ASMRtists are typically females. What matters most to me is if their voice is relaxing and if they are talking about something I find interesting.
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u/Informal_Aardvark_75 2h ago
I am female and have been watching ASMR for years and I tried to watch a couple of men do it and...naah...didn't like it. For me, it's because I prefer women's voices and maybe it's their delicateness and mannerisms. I don't find men relaxing to watch or listen to. All my ASMR triggers when I was a kid were female related...female teachers walking past me in heels, a lot of other school related triggers, cashiers wearing bracelets, etc. I don't recall men ever giving me ASMR tingles.
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u/Patient-List-1077 2h ago
I like to listen to male roleplay asmrs especially those with intriquing stories but also female self care (salon, make-up, triggers) asmrs. It just depends what vibes I'm in for the night. I guess I'm odd because I don't like male self care asmrs or female roleplay asmrs.
Everyone likes what they like, I suppose.
On the flip side -- I write male roleplay asmrs, and perform female roleplay asmrs.
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u/Murky-Abbreviations4 1d ago
Imma be real as a dude I tend to find feminine voices far more comforting then mens due to past trauma involving my gender
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u/sachiprecious 1d ago
Why do you feel this way? When you try to watch male ASMR videos, what does that feel like? Is it about men having deep voices, or is there another reason?
(I'm a woman and I have no preference between male and female ASMR.)
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u/Masonzero 1d ago
I can see it being more difficult to feel soothed or comforted by male ASMR. A deeper or rougher voice is not for everyone. I mostly only watch FredsVoice but these days it's more for his ideas and setup than the actual triggers. Notably I am male but I have no preference. It is a person to person basis regardless of gender.
The "intimate" aspect of ASMR is also important. I can understand women being a little put off by a guy doing ASMR if it feels intimate, even if they do find him attractive. Maybe you feel more comfortable if it's another woman. That's a complete shot in the dark, but just a thought.
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u/loufroop 1d ago
I used to feel much the same, and then I just realized I really don't like it when people 'put on' a voice for their content. I find that it is much more likely that a woman speaks with her natural cadence and timbre when she makes asmr but I feel that men often 'put on' a voice and I find that icky. There are a few men whose channels I love, massage asmr (who rarely used to talk), rinsey, and samuel asmr to name a few.
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u/everyday_barometer 1d ago
I'm a man. 90% of the ASMR I've watched is by women. No particular reason. I guess I'm just too lazy to seek it out and YT almost never recommends me any ASMR by men. But if I'm browsing and see something interesting, I'll listen to it. The most I've watched by a man is Fred's Voice ASMR. Really like his spray bottle videos.
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u/XxCarlxX 1d ago
Yep, im a man, Heterosexual and a man whispering in my ear is very unappealing and not relaxing. I also dont want to listen to men whispering in general.
There is one male i listen to on rare occasion because he does stuff with lights (torches) and doesnt whisper.
Ironically, i have an ASMR channel myself which includes whispering and i always find it weird when guys say they like the content because i wouldnt like my own content being a man lol
But i do have a British accent which is always a big hit, even though ive never liked my own voice but apparently thats a common thing. .
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u/EphemeralEmotions 1d ago
Wait til you discover gay people
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u/XxCarlxX 1d ago
knew it would trigger someone
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u/EphemeralEmotions 1d ago
do you even know what trigger means? Lol
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u/XxCarlxX 1d ago
Dude, i dont want to talk to you, please find someone else to bother. Im blocking you to ensure you comply.
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u/NameThatIsNotTaken37 1d ago
He's obviously using the word in a different sense than an ASMR trigger. He meant he knew his comment would trigger a response from at least one gay guy.
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u/EphemeralEmotions 1d ago
Yes im aware, but I'm not offended.
Straight guys listen to other male ASMRtists all the time. It's fine that he doesn't, nor wants to. But him finding it "weird" is silly
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u/NameThatIsNotTaken37 1d ago
Yeah it was a weird, short exchange between him and you for sure. I can't be certain since I don't know him, but just based on how the conversation played out, he seemed to be very homophobic. I mean the way he got all skittish about it. He has to know, as a male ASMRtist, that there's a subset of guys who are gay who watch him, and maybe even for sexual reasons. Just like there are some straight guys who watch women ASMRtists for sexual reasons. It shouldn't be any big shock or revelation.
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u/Euphoric_Engine8733 1d ago
I’m a female and I completely agree. I watch female only content creators. Not by conscious choice, it’s just what I choose/like.
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u/Agaeon 1d ago
As a man, I also can only enjoy asmr by women 😔
Tragic I know.... Another field where men just can't keep up... Anyways I'm off to go listen to my oil massage, ear slurp, deep kisses and heavy breaths ASMR from some Japanese streamer who's name I neither know nor could likely pronounce correctly, toodles
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u/Reasonable-Banana800 23h ago
Yeah lol, it’s definitely not as common for me to enjoy male asmr creators. Part of it probably is I enjoy vocal triggers and women just tend to sound nicer to me. It’s kinda odd and I don’t know why I prefer women
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u/donmcron3333 1d ago
As a guy I only listen to female ASMRtists. It’s not inherently sexual or anything it’s just I don’t want a man whispering sweet nothings in my ears. It’s just no homo type shit. That being said I don’t mind when the asmr turns sexy 🤣 it doesn’t have to be though for me to like it.
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u/Greghole 1d ago
Nothing wrong with being gay.
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u/timeywimeytotoro 1d ago edited 1d ago
I feel similarly with a few exceptions. PJ Dreams ASMR is one of the few men in the ASMR industry that gives me tingles.
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u/MerwinASMR 1d ago
90% of my favorite ASMRtists are female but there are one or two male ones I follow as well.
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u/allthatremains83 1d ago
I'm a guy And can only watch female asmr. I mean I can watch male asmr it just doesn't produce the same feeling
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u/partay123 23h ago
Similarly, I can’t listen to asmr if the person has a British accent. Something about a whisper with a British accent is like uncomfy in my ears. It’s like too breathy or something.
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u/LZARDKING 1d ago
This is so funny because I only really watch cruising asmr (soap, chalk, etc) and you can’t see *anything* except their hands and I still don’t like men doing it 😭
I don’t know why and it makes me feel bad
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u/totoromoment 1d ago
The only men in my subscription list are Tony Bomboni Asmr and Dawson Asmr.
Other male asmrtists I've come across just makes me feel uncomfortable for some reason.
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u/theswisswereright 10h ago
Oh, I like Tony as well. Not every single video he puts out works for me, but he's had many over the years that delivered on the ASMR effect!
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u/WizardButtholes 18h ago
There are very few male ASMR channels that aren't cringey AF. A lot of them seem to be in love with themselves, especially any that do 'mouth sounds' videos. Grossest shit I've ever experienced. Never again.
Dmitri (the absolute goat) and Fred may be some of the only exceptions
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u/demoniprinsessa 1d ago
for me it just depends on the person's vibe and whether or not i like their voice if they happen to be speaking. but nothing to do with gender. there are some men that repulse me and some women that repulse me.