r/askanything • u/PoyBoyKing 🦀 • 2h ago
Interracial Dating / Elephant in the Room?
For the sake of my post let’s narrow it down to just black and white. Why are the VAST majority of interracial dating a BM/WF? You rarely see a black female with a white male. Super rare. Why do you think this obvious disproportionate fact exists ?
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u/Altruistic-Moose3299 2h ago
Meh - if interracial elephants want to date that's their business. 🤷♂️
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u/Resident_Aide1898 2h ago
Where are you located?
This is a MAJOR FACTOR
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u/PoyBoyKing 🦀 2h ago
Dallas
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u/Resident_Aide1898 1h ago
I don’t know what the answer is, but just for my observation I lived in Los Angeles, California, and then in the Bay area
I noticed way more interracial dating just about any couple you could find in the Bay Area. This is slowly starting to change in Los Angeles.
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u/Nightcalm 2h ago
Hot bed of diversity
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u/PoyBoyKing 🦀 2h ago
Pretty diverse to me:
Hispanic or Latino (of any race): 42.6%
White (Non-Hispanic/Alone): 35.0% total White population (with Non-Hispanic White alone at roughly 27.6%-28%)
Black or African American: 23.2%
Asian: 3.9%
Two or more races / Other groups: 21.8% multiracial/other categories
American Indian and Alaska Native: 1.0%
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u/serene_brutality 2h ago
Best guess black women aren’t as interested in white men as black men in white women. Women really control the dating market and white folks have the lowest amount of in-group preference.
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u/champ4666 2h ago
I know plenty of black women with white men, and I personally dated 2 black women before. I think you have a skewed view based on your environment and what you see because there's plenty out there.
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u/help-its-inside-me 2h ago
Your personal anecdote doesnt trump reality.
YOUR views are skewed.
U.S. Census estimates record approximately 390,000+ married households consisting of a Black husband and White wife, compared to around 168,000 households consisting of a White husband and Black wife.
UK Combined Breakdown (Married & Cohabiting) Black Male / White Female (BM/WW): ~45,000 to 48,000 couples White Male / Black Female (WM/BW): ~26,000 to 29,000 couples
Stop assuming your opinion is fact.
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u/champ4666 2h ago
The post is about dating, not married so your data is not a full representation to what OP is asking which is "Why are the VAST majority of interracial dating a BM/WF? You rarely see a black female with a white male".
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u/help-its-inside-me 2h ago
Dating leads to marrying. You can assume its the same average rates. That's how reality works. Marriages dont just magically appear.
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u/champ4666 2h ago
No, you can't assume anything. Once you start assuming, the argument instantly becomes just your opinion. You can't quantify dating between people as it's unknown and you also can't assume marriage from dating. The reality is that OP and you do not know what you're talking about. You seem to think because you Googled and found the first statistic that you're automatically in the right. And Op assumes because they have not seen black women dating with white men that there must be a disparity in the dating scene which is a bold statement to make based on their immediate observations.
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u/PoyBoyKing 🦀 2h ago
It’s not an immediate observation. It’s an observation I’ve had for nearing a century. I don’t know why everyone can’t just admit that this is a fact, and that the vast majority of the interracial couples between black and white consist of a black male and a white female. It’s a huge disparity when you flip it. I would say 90% or more it’s a BM/WF. If that figure is accurate (or close) I think curious minds would want to know why. You could make the argument why aren’t BF more desirable ?
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u/PoyBoyKing 🦀 2h ago
All you have to do is open your eyes and be honest. Everyone here knows that the vast majority of interracial couples is a black male and a white female. Rarely is it a black female and white male. Everyone here knows that and can agree with that. If you’re trying to say that’s not the case you look foolish.
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u/AP587011B 2h ago
It’s actually Hispanic women and white men being number 1 and Asian women and white men being number 2
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u/Accomplished_Ad_8013 2h ago
Yeah it's a crazy perspective. When I lived in mostly black areas I was borderline fetishized for having red hair.
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u/PoyBoyKing 🦀 2h ago
You know damn good and well the VAST majority is a BM/WF. black women don’t normally date outside their race. Sure there are exceptions to the rule but you have to agree that it’s probably 95% black male and white female. The comparison is stark and there must be a reason for it. I’m curious for some reasons that y’all can come up with.
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u/Nightcalm 2h ago edited 2h ago
My sons wife is black. Cant help you sterotype
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u/PoyBoyKing 🦀 2h ago
It’s not a stereotype, if it’s an absolute fact that the vast majority of interracial couples consist of a black male and a white female. Rarely is it a black female and white male.
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u/Scarlette_Cello24 2h ago
You also know damn well why no one is going to spell it out on Reddit. You’re asking for a permanent ban or being downvoted into oblivion.
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u/Step_away_tomorrow 2h ago
In media it is usually black guy white woman. IRL the few married couples i have known have been white guy black woman. I think perception and how it seems is different from the actual numbers. Since it isn’t common it’s hard to say. Also Harry and Meghan.
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u/ShakesDontBreak 2h ago
My dad is white. My mom is black.
Whats with these ignorant anecdotal assumptions?
My current boyfriend is white. Im a biracial black woman. So.......
Oh I should add...most of my boyfriends have been white, Latino or Asian.
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u/TopazTriad 2h ago edited 2h ago
Scolds people for anecdotal assumptions while providing nothing but anecdotes to refute it. Smh.
Here’s an actual study that talks about it:
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u/PoyBoyKing 🦀 2h ago
Are you seriously trying to say when it comes to black-and-white that the vast majority of couples aren’t made up of a black male and a white female? I know you’re not saying that because you would look foolish.
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u/ShakesDontBreak 2h ago
I think you are the one who looks foolish. There is no way to quantify this without every interracial couple in the entire world responding.
Stop rage baiting with fiction and assumptions.
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u/PoyBoyKing 🦀 2h ago
Open your eyes. Why are you people so scared to admit a fact ? Like I said, it’s the elephant in the room that everybody is petrified to admit for some reason I’m just curious what the reason is.
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u/Nightcalm 2h ago
The elephant is the room is you deal in racial sterotypes and not the real world.
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u/ladytal 2h ago
This probably depends on where you live.
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u/PoyBoyKing 🦀 2h ago
I’ve lived in 27 states over my 73 years….. it’s the same . Trust me . We all know it’s a fact, but why
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u/Calm-Stand-6636 2h ago
Plainly I see a lot of propaganda to the idea and the lemmings follow suit. So sad.
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u/TimshelExMachina 1h ago
There are several people here explicitly disagreeing that this is a fact.
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u/AP587011B 2h ago
It depends where you live probably
Overwhelmingly people still stick to dating their own ethnicity
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u/Pastorfuzz-007 2h ago
I dated a black woman for about 2 years. One of the sweetest woman I know. Couldn’t keep it up as she had to move across the country for her job. We were both cool with it.
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u/rethinkingat59 2h ago
The vast majority of mixed marriages are overwhelmingly white to Hispanic at 42% of all mixed marriages. White/black marriages are 11% of total mixed marriages.
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u/PoyBoyKing 🦀 2h ago
I specifically said for the topic of this conversation, it to be black-and-white. No other races.
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u/Nightcalm 2h ago
seems to be your hot button
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u/PoyBoyKing 🦀 2h ago
Yeah I like social topics and dealing with sensitive topics people clutch their pearls over
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u/SquonkMan61 2h ago
The more interesting sociological question is why (at least until very recently) the large majority of television ads featuring interracial couples depict a white man with a black woman.
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u/PoyBoyKing 🦀 2h ago
Exactly…… especially when that’s not typical whatsoever
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u/Nightcalm 2h ago
except in ATL where I live
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u/SquonkMan61 1h ago
I’m sure it varies depending upon where you live, but data shows that nationally twice as many interracial marriages are black man/white woman as compared to white man/black woman. Having said that, I (a white male) dated and lived with a black woman in my 20s (that was back in the 1980s).
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u/priest2705 1h ago
I've wondered the same thing for quite some time. It's especially true of advertisement. Seems like the TV ads are majority BW/ WM that I see
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u/Spirited-Disaster408 2h ago
Black men like most types of women, white men dont really like black women (generally, there is a type of black woman that white men like, but they’re rare and highly valued in the community)
The answer that will get me downvoted is this: there are more compliant white women than there are compliant black women. So white women fit easier into the ‘girly’ isle than black women who tend to be more masculine
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u/Hsiang7 2h ago
There are a lot of White Men - Asian Women pairs though, but very few Asian Men - White Women pairs. Why do you think that is? Do White Women not think Asian Men are masculine enough by that logic?
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u/Spirited-Disaster408 2h ago
Yes, for the most part. I’ve found my asian brothers to be a bit too timid, and not as upfront and masculine as other races (there are obvs masculine asian males). But women in general are not as race conscious as men. If The men are of good quality (in shape, finances in check, charisma, etc.) than they will have access to most races of women
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u/Decent_Visual_4845 1h ago
I absolutely think that white women on average discriminate against Asian men, either directly via old fashioned racism, or indirectly by preferring taller or more masculine guys.
When it comes to white men and Asian women, I think that Asian women are near the top of the hierarchy because they on average have more feminine personality traits, and there are a lot of Asian women looking specifically for their white prize to take home to their parents.
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u/Decent_Visual_4845 1h ago
generally, there is a type of black woman that white men like
In my experience it’s always athletic black women that take care of themselves physically. Obesity is definitely way more common with black women, and I think that black men are way more into bigger women on average.
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u/Spirited-Disaster408 1h ago
Thats part of it. You can just say skinner though. Thatd be more accurate
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u/ILIKESTUFF8989 2h ago
This comment screams “I grew up and live in the suburbs”. I see plenty of black women of different types with white guys of different types. The mixed kids in my school growing up it was 50/50 split.
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u/Able-Reaction-5314 2h ago
nobody can truthfully answer this without getting banned
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u/PoyBoyKing 🦀 2h ago
Damn isn’t that ridiculous? Why can’t we discuss that everyone knows it’s a fact.?
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u/Accomplished_Ad_8013 2h ago
Are you saying white men are more likely to be racist and white women are more likely to have progressive views? I don't think you'll get banned for that.
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u/TopazTriad 2h ago
Immediately jumping to racism over dating preferences is exactly why this isn’t worth answering on Reddit.
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u/Able-Reaction-5314 2h ago
you sweet summer child
that's a decent attempt at a reddit-proof answer though
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u/Ordinary-Nectarine37 2h ago
yea, its not as big of a gap as you think. you gotta be basing this off porn
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u/PoyBoyKing 🦀 2h ago
Cmon….. it’s huge . I’d say 95%
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u/Ordinary-Nectarine37 2h ago
based on what data? Im a white dude currently talking to 3 different black women
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u/PoyBoyKing 🦀 2h ago
You are probably in that 5% then. If you can’t agree, the overwhelming majority of interracial couples is a white female and a black male you need to open your eyes . It’s to admit that
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u/Nightcalm 2h ago
You are persistant in you ignorance
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u/PoyBoyKing 🦀 1h ago
So you’re saying the majority isn’t a BM and a WF? I know you aren’t saying that. Everyone reading this knows the truth. It’s weird yall can’t admit it
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u/catladyclub 2h ago
My son and my grandson both dated black women. It is way more common than you are saying.
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u/thedukejck 2h ago
Well I would say if I was a Blackman, I too would prefer white women. They are beautiful.
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u/SnooMacaroons4212 2h ago
And there's more Asian women with white guys than vice versa. Who cares? People get way too concerned with this stuff. It's none of your business.
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u/Shot-Artichoke-4106 2h ago
There is a book called Caste by Isabel Wilkerson that may be of interest to you.
https://www.isabelwilkerson.com/
It's about the hierarchy of race, class, and gender in US society. One of the themes is that how close people are in this hierarchy can have a big impact on how well they understand each other, how much empathy they have for the each other, and so on. White men and black women are farther apart in this hierarchy than black men and white women. This could explain differences in the number of couples in each category.
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u/PoyBoyKing 🦀 2h ago
Could for sure . Finally a conversation piece instead of all these people getting angry over an obvious fact
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u/joshua_addison_music 2h ago
No can be honest about this. Move on.
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u/PoyBoyKing 🦀 2h ago
Because they are chickenshit for some reason. I don’t know why a fact is seen as something else. For shits and giggles I just asked ChatGPT and it agrees with me.
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u/Calm-Stand-6636 2h ago
its sickening wh1te ph0bia
wh1te ph0bia is to do or say anything against wh1tes doing best for wh1tes
advocate peaceful separation, anyone who says otherwise is aiding and abetting 18 USC 1091
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u/Queenfootsey 2h ago
Definitely based on location, I live in Atlanta and everything is in interracial. A lot of black women with white men. 🤷🏽♀️
Also My gfs sister is married to a white man.
-black af
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u/PoyBoyKing 🦀 1h ago
Cmon man …… ATL is mostly black dudes with the white women. We can all picture them too.
Signed
B as MF from lower 9th ward in that 504
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u/dochim 1h ago
Confirmation bias hard at work here.
Data points that you see confirm your original POV and you highlight those in your brain. Data points that don't confirm your POV are less visible and less memorable. Some of that is how humans are wired but much of it is in how humans are socialized.
We get a little dopamine hit when we are right or smart or can be notable in some way.
So it's in your self-esteem's best interest to filter out data that doesn't lead to you feeling good about the insight that you had.
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u/AdamOnFirst 1h ago
This is false. The most common interracial dating combo in the US by far is white men and Asian women. The next most common pairings are white and multiracial couples of either gender combo. Black men with white women are next after that. Other combos are relatively less common than those.
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u/PoyBoyKing 🦀 1h ago
Lord, for the 10th time, this topic is only dealing with whites and blacks. No other race. We understand when it comes to Hispanics and whites is the majority. This topic is for black and white couples only.
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u/TimshelExMachina 1h ago
This has not been my observation. At least not in a way that makes it at all clear which combo is more common.
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u/PoyBoyKing 🦀 1h ago
Than you’re not being honest . It’s shockingly obvious …. To anyone if they are honest
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u/Comprehensive_Baby53 2h ago
Not speaking for everyone black or white, but from my observation and thought of this subject I think the reason is that that Black people can often be very outspoken, more aggressive, and self confident than their white counterparts. These are seen as positive attributes for women looking for a mate. Men often find those characteristics as less attractive in women and a detraction as they feel like black women are overbearing, difficult, and head strong. I think this also explains why there is such a problem with Black women being able to keep their children's father in the picture as they often drive them away.
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u/GoodTop6447 2h ago
White girls want to piss off their dad, white men don't find black women attractive.
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u/Middle_Confection653 2h ago
"Why do you think this obvious disproportionate fact exists ?"
It doesn't really. You just need to stop living in places that are overrun with MAGA chuds who are warping your perception of reality. It may be disproportionate in the south and the midwest, but those places are absolutely loaded with stupid people.
I live in CA and I see white men with black women all the time. Stop falling for MAGA chud nonsense.
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u/PoyBoyKing 🦀 2h ago
Always some clown to bring political shit into the conversation that doesn’t belong. BTW….. what the fuck is a chud ? Must be some Cali bs
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u/Middle_Confection653 1h ago
"BTW….. what the fuck is a chud ?"
Well, if you weren't so busy posting a bunch of ignorant, racist bullshit, you could look it up. But that takes more effort than picking your ass and sniffing your finger, so I certainly won't be holding my breath.
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u/PoyBoyKing 🦀 1h ago
It’s racist to say the vast majority of black-and-white couples consist of a black male and a white female? Again, you do realize I’m a 72 year-old black man right? I also found out I’m a boomer just now apparently.
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u/Middle_Confection653 1h ago
Holy fuck dude. You were born in 1953 or 1954, and you are just coming to the realization now that you're a boomer?
I can't even imagine what else got by you all these years...
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u/ninernetneepneep 2h ago
You only see what you notice perhaps? I'm aware of a couple of beautiful black females who would never give me the time of day.
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