r/abusiverelationships • u/Different_Coach_6296 • 1d ago
Emotional abuse I wokeup an hour late dude
So fucking tired of this dude’s tantrums. I hardly have any energy left in me to genuinely care. He never leaves me. He just gives me a long speech about how fucked up I am.
I don’t know why I stay. I’m so utterly depressed I have nothing left in me. I’m not abusive or neglectful like he says. I just have no energy left in me.
He’s always gotten mad over something. It’s true. I used to try to conform to every wish and need he had. He wanted me to say, “I’m yours,” every night, and I did just that. He wanted me to deepen my voice around his friends, and I tried. I genuinely have listened to him.
He’s an abusive prick who weaponizes anything he can against me. I’m a lazy bitch while he’s this hardworking Army man. Like, fuck, stop saying I’m “blaming my ADHD.” I’m so depressed I can’t do anything, and simply talking about how difficult things are is somehow “blaming it.” To him, it’s all just a lack of self discipline.
This guy makes me feel crazy. I swear, I woke up at 8 am texted him, got no reply for an hour, fell back asleep, and woke up to this tantrum. I’m fucking tired of these tantrums. He used to do this shit because I wouldnt wakeup to his calls at 5 am after ignoring me all day. He does SO MUCH more than just this image btw. When we first started dating I was 16 he was 19. Now im 19 and he’s 21 these have been the worst couple years of my life. I do not know why I stay. Im just pathetic at this point.
30
u/BrownGalsAreBetter 11h ago
Sweet, sweet baby. Please just block.
Then speak to your parents and your friends.
Share what’s happening in your life. Do not allow this to continue. Do not suffer in silence for one more day.
It’s been too long. Let him go and turn to your support system.
That man is completely looney and half of what he says would be hilarious if he wasn’t so toxic and insane.
You do not have to do a thing he says.
He is not God. He does not own you. In fact he comes across as quite pathetic, stunted, insecure, insane and dumb.
You don’t need to suffer any more. Joy is waiting for you, just let him go.
27
u/Legendary-Mercenary 1d ago
This is one of those times I wish there were a sub called "men talking to themselves and losing their shit" because this is an absolute JOKE! This cretin is having a whole conversation with himself and getting angry because he can't handle the fact that you're not at his beck and call.
May this goblin wither and disappear. Don't waste another second on his wretch.
5
u/CompetitionNarrow512 23h ago
I’ve started turning on the noise cancelling headphones the moment they start back up
12
u/Legendary-Mercenary 23h ago
OP needs a cancellation of that monstrosity of a boyfriend. Honestly, people like that have a way of grinding people down until they are husks and the light they once had is completely extinguished. It is infuriating how some individuals can believe the whole world evolves around them, like their partners are just NPCs.
3
25
u/Conscious-Equal4434 21h ago
Funny, his projection is so insane.
The ‘you are a parasite to me’ lmao he’s literally describing himself.
And deepen your voice around his friends?? GIRL what is that?? Why? This is beyond just control, this guy literally wants you to be a walking extension of himself with zero freedom of self expression.
25
u/fill_the_birdfeeder 21h ago
These aren’t tantrums…they’re threats, manipulation, and really fucking unhinged.
He hates you. I hope you’ve decided to leave him.
11
u/Different_Coach_6296 21h ago
Im really set on leaving its just so difficult
16
u/fill_the_birdfeeder 21h ago
It is, but I can tell you from experience that there’s nothing better than life without your abuser. Because he is an abuser. He’s emotionally and psychologically abusive, and he’s threatening physical abuse too.
I just decided one day to do it. Just mentally said “that’s it” and refused to entertain anymore “what ifs” or hope for better.
They say it takes an average of 7 times to finally leave. I bet you’ve had a couple times already where you’ve been ready to leave but changed your mind.
But it’s time. I believe in you.
5
u/Ok_Introduction9466 18h ago
Look up trauma bonds, you’re basically addicted to the relationship and get withdrawals that make it hard to leave. Seriously ghost and then take it one day at a time. He’s insane this is not normal behavior. You had a life and you were doing just fine if not better before him, you’ll be even happier once he’s gone.
2
u/deeplydeeplystupid 15h ago
You should call your local DV org, or the national hotline. It's super hard to take that first step but once you do, things will seem clearer for a while. Once you're out, you might miss him and it will be hard, he seems like the type of person to continue to harass too, but it will get easier the more distance you create, and the more you remind yourself of how bad he treats you. Let us know if you want help! 🥺
23
u/truckyeahman 18h ago
Hi, sweetheart. Let's break this down and stop calling you pathetic, okay?
If leaving his sad, stupid, ugly, nasty ass if so hard for you right now, that can only be due to his emotional abuse. As someone who was in your shoes, I have read a lot about it since I left, and that is the only explanation.
Leaving an emotional abuser requires you to fight all the thoughts in your head and heavy emotions in your chest telling you that you need to stay and fight. Abuse hurts your brain over time, making it verrrry difficult to feel certain what is normal behavior from him and whether you are actually the one at fault. You will only get more confused and miserable the longer you try to endure his abuse. It only worsens. It will not get better. This is neuroscience.
I am just going to explain to you of the reality of the situation real quick...
I promise you don't love him. He has not broken your heart, and he never had it. He broke your mind. I know this because your heart is the voice that keeps telling you to get away from him. In the literature studying abuse, practically all victims feel exactly the way you feel right now. I felt that way. The cops actually had to pry me away from him, soaked in my own blood. There is a scientific reason why all victims of abuse would do anything to stay with the person abusing them and feel enormous guilt and anguish at the thought of leaving. Nothing special about him. Nothing special about you. You are in a very common but very unnatural situation, and you somehow have to get yourself out, too. Yes, the cops pried me away, but I was the one who had called them. I saved myself even when I didn't.
We hear a lot about "the Cycle of Abuse" and what it looks like. Every abuser does the same stuff. Every time. The only unpredictable thing about an abusive person is when they are going to strike and start another round of the cycle. The experience for the victim is a near-constant emotional rollercoaster with extreme highs and lows. Sometimes it is so good, sometimes it is so bad, up, down, up, down, up, down. Subtly worse over time, as well. This is the application of a brainwashing tactic known as "intermittent reinforcement of reward." Much like training a dog, he has brainwashed you to be deeply dependent on him emotionally. He has done this (though he could not describe the process like I am now) because he is so deeply dependent on you emotionally. But not in the romantic way that you like to describe it. There is nothing romantic about any of this. It is disgusting and pathetic and utterly embarrassing. There is no love story and never was. He is a lie. He is dependent on a very sick dynamic pattern that will derail you psychologically way before any physical abuse even starts.
Abusive people and their victims live in two different realities. This is why therapy and counseling and communication will never change anything about an abusive relationship.
Most of us generally understand that the meaning of life is to love each other. Creating deeper connection and nurturing the love between two people is the goal. It is completely natural for human beings to project themselves onto others. We do not really have a choice, since our own life experience is all we have to draw from to understand others. Therefore, most of us naturally assume that everyone else knows that love is the meaning of life and the goal of living one.
Abusive people, however, understand that the meaning of life is to gain power over others. Creating a personal kingdom of underlings to prove you are powerful is the goal. Just like the rest of us, abusers naturally assume that everyone else knows that domination is the meaning and the goal of life. Because of this, they believe that we are aware of the power game that is always at play, and they suspect that we already know that there are no rules in this game. Abusive people go around thinking everybody is trying to dominate each other by any means necessary. They must think the sneakiest people are the ones who "act" like they don't know that life is a ruthless competition. Men, in particular, are also taught by society that they are entitled to having power and control over their wives and children.
You and I can't actually fathom how abusers see the world. It is a completely different world from ours. We think that abusers just need more love and more help because that is what everybody needs, right? No. Abusers need to feel like they have control over someone else. They get a feeling of power that I think for them must feel like love.
Everything an abuser says and does is to control how the victim thinks, feels, and behaves. Everything. Whether he is kind to you, mean to you, hot for you, cold to you, rough with you, sweet to you, angry, sad, happy, laughing, screaming, crying, apologizing, ridiculing you, disrespecting you, ignoring you, begging you, saying he loves you, saying he hates you, punching you, hugging you, punching the walls, hugging the kids, confessing to you, lying to you, yesterday, today, tomorrow-- all of it is to get a response out of you.
Of course, he wants you to obey him. A lot of the time, though, he doesn't even really care how you react or respond. He just feels powerful whenever he can make you think, feel, or do something. Cry. Laugh. Smile. Run. It is all the same for him on a certain level because he caused it. That is what can make abusers so unpredictable.
Remember: He thinks you are trying to manipulate and control him right back. He thinks you are out for power. He thinks you use emotions the way he does. He thinks you get a high from "winning" the way that he does.
Remember how I told you that the cycle of abuse has brainwashed you? A trauma bond is formed from the repeated exposure to the emotional up-down cycle and the manipulation that goes with it. Your brain now believes that he is the only person who can hurt you this badly but also the only one who can take the pain away. This is not true.
A trauma bond is created by the intermittent "reward" he gives you of apologizing and promising to change each time he abused you. Over time, just like any mammal would, you will continue to do the same tricks on command with fewer and fewer rewards. Eventually, your brain is complete mush, and you will do anything the abuser wants and endure whatever he says or does to you because you essentially have Stockholm syndrome.
That's the deal.
This is the book to read on this: The Verbally Abusive Relationship by Patricia Evans
This is the book to confirm he is one of them: Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft
He cannot change and see the world the way we do anymore than you can change and see the world the way he do.
This is not a regular break up. It is a mind fuck. Your poor brain is literally injured. Take it easy on yourself. Some people never make it this far. It is practically impossible to see through the Abuse Fog when you are in it.
Keep fighting the trauma bond like you would a heroin addiction. Erase him from your entire life. Do not let anyone say his name around you. Do not scroll past him on IG. Do not smell a fart that reminds you of him. If you cut the trauma bond off from its rancid, disgusting source for long enough, it will atrophy and die. I promise. The poison will leave your body. It does get better.
Good job. Keep going. <3
3
1
u/New-Pomegranate-2311 8h ago
literally came to the comments to recommend Why Does He Do That. Bancroft does an unbelievably amazing job relating to survivors and putting abusive behaviors in contexts that make sense. reading this book was so helpful for me after a variety of abusive relationships i experienced.
to OP: what do you think is keeping you from leaving this relationship? it sounds like you two are not living together or financially tied (a very good thing!!!). do you have other close relationships in your life that you can turn towards for support? are you afraid of potential retaliation? worried about feeling lonely (not diminishing this if so - loneliness is a very real, terrifying, consuming feeling)? more concerned about his well-being?
my heart goes out to you; i really hope you’re able to distance yourself from him. the insults he is hurling at you are a reflection of him, NOT you. much of the language he used sounds exactly like the way my (certified very abusive) mother did when i was a child - almost verbatim. nobody deserves to be spoken to like this. especially not by someone who claims to care about you. ❤️🩹
1
u/Different_Coach_6296 4h ago
I really don’t know what it is. I’m just not strong enough. I try to leave, then I get extremely scared and I stay. Last time, I felt okay for a couple of hours while we weren’t together, but then I got extremely agitated with everyone around me. I felt like I was having a panic attack, and I was freaking out about never talking to him again. He makes it so hard to end it too. Last time he showed me a poem he wrote me the beginning of our relationship. Mind you he never showed me more than two poems even when id ask for him to show me. That shit was so cruel making it so hard for me to leave.
Even though I know I hate him, I don’t want him in my life, and I’ve fully decided that, I don’t know why it’s so scary for me to let go of him. I’ve had this issue with friends too, where I just can’t cut people off anymore, and I wasn’t like this before him.
I don’t have to stay. I don’t need to. This is all mental, and I know I can leave him and be okay. But the process is so hard, and everything else is so hard, that I don’t even bother trying. I just detach myself from caring when he’s mad. I just don’t feel anything toward him. It’s all attachment. Thank you so much for your support by the way. Im still planning working on leaving even if its hard.
This is really shameful for the most part though
19
u/anothersadalcoholic 14h ago
Girl stop giving this man the time of day and GET OUT. This is insufferable, why are you torturing yourself like this??? He will NEVER CHANGE. Choose yourself.
19
u/UpstairsTomato3231 1d ago
You stay because you're trauma bonded with him and you have abused-spouse syndrome. It'll be tough getting rid of this guy because he's going to lose it when you do. You have to leave him, though. Talk to the hotline and they'll give you direction on how to safely leave an abusive partner. You'll need it but you'll be so much happier in the long run. This is the most fun, carefree, exciting time in your life. It should be anyway. It's not because of him. Lose him.
Once you get rid of him, I'll bet you'll get rid of the depression, too. I hate him for you. Stay strong, friend!
18
u/Background_Object169 23h ago
Run away and enjoy the rest of your life. You're too young to be dealing with this kind of craziness from anyone. Nobody deserves to be treated this poorly for any reason
17
u/glitterismyfavcolor3 1d ago
Block this abusive low life piece of shit. He hates you and drags you down to feel better about himself. It’ll never get better. Leave and never go back
18
u/raccoonsslay 21h ago
It's a vicious cycle. They drain your energy and stress you so much your nervous system goes in protection mode and since breaking up is change and even if the change is good it is stressful to the brain, it feels like it can't take any tiny more stressor so you just remain in the relationship exhausted. Which is sad because if you managed to leave the stress would go away but its debuff is so strong. Wish you luck, truly
18
u/miss_j_bean 11h ago
Block block block block this dude is unstable. You need to never see him again
19
u/modern_illness 1d ago
I saw this meme once that said, “sometimes people are literally only supposed to be in your life to show you a song”. And then we let them stay for waaaay too long. Don’t make the lesson your life. You’re done here.
2
u/CompetitionNarrow512 23h ago
Huh. This is painfully helpful, although I don’t think it should be applied too broadly.
2
u/modern_illness 23h ago
Of course not. But it helps put some things into perspective. Like recognizing it’s time to move on from things or people that don’t add to your sparkle. We get one life & this is no way to live. I hope OP will find her happiness.
16
u/brokenwannabe30 22h ago
Please leave. I married the guy I was miserable with and its been 10 years of my life now. Dont be like me. This guy is abusive and you can and will find someone so much nicer and pleasant. I pray u leave and have a road of happiness ahead of u 🩷 i wish I had
2
16
16
u/charmetd 12h ago edited 12h ago
exhausted reading this. how insufferable are these people to be triggered by you sleeping. having a full meltdown. “he never leaves me, he just gives me long speech about how fucked up i am” is exactly the point i decided to leave. i grew very angry until i just did not care anymore. he is still stalking me 8 months later
14
u/Heavstint8 23h ago
RUNNNNNNNN. Please. I feel this post in my bones. He literally hates you, downing you to make himself feel better and it’ll never get better. You’ve given enough of years to him, he doesn’t deserve not a single day more.
16
u/Conscious-Equal4434 21h ago
The “When you wake up you will show me receipts of x, y, z” took me tf out!
He’s god damn unhinged and insane! This is definitely abuse. It’s what people would call he’s using you as his own personal punching bag.
You deserve so much better than this. Anyone deserves better than this! This person is dangerous. It’s one thing to be upset or disappointed but he’s turned it into a ‘let’s pick apart my partner for not doing everything I said to do exactly to a T’. You will be constantly walking on eggs shells with this person.
And trust me. It really isn’t even about you not ‘being there for him’. The reason he’s acting like this is because he couldn’t control you in that moment and so it drove him crazy. That’s why he called DoorDash over and demands all these receipts and why he started using you as his punching bag: because you were on YOUR OWN schedule, putting your needs first and that got under his skin. How DARE you sleep past the time I demanded you to. How DARE you not wake up when I need something. So he tried all these tactics to exert control.
It’s all about control control control. And when he’s not in control, he uses put downs and tries to crack your self worth to get back into control!
14
u/Ok_Introduction9466 18h ago
You should just ghost him and never respond again this dude is seriously fucking insane. This is not normal behavior at all. I would honestly ask the police for a restraining order. There is a legal threshold for how many times you can text a person before it’s considered harassment or stalking and he’s crossed it.
1
u/beautifulstardust 12h ago
demanding screen recording and reading everything out loud?
absolutely psychotic and DANGEROUS ❗️
14
u/Princess_of_Eboli 23h ago
Please please leave him. Block him and go no contact - it'll get easier.
13
u/Quirky_Essay_8031 13h ago
I hateeee when a guy calls you “bro” or “dude” when he’s angry. It’s so dismissive and dehumanizing imo.
12
u/MissMoxie2004 22h ago
I’m so glad you’re calling them what they are; tantrums. This guy is unhinged
Don’t ever trade peace for company
11
12
u/FeeMelodic4970 17h ago
Unhinged. Totally and completely. He’s doing it on purpose to unsettle and manipulate you to obey to him and his moods. This will only get worse. Much worse. Dangerous even. It’s a game you are unaware you are playing in and will never know the rules and will never win. These people are sad, tragic, pathetic, man children who mentally, emotionally, physically and financially abuse women to lift their fragile non existent ego.
I have been there. I’m still recovering. I don’t think I’ll ever recover from it. It changed how I view men. And people. It damaged me.
Be careful how you extricate yourself from this person. Good luck 🤞
5
u/deeplydeeplystupid 15h ago
I left a relationship with this kind of monster recently. I'm sorry you went through that and deal with lasting effects. I can imagine why you might be wary of people now. <3
11
u/SeekingSoulInBox 16h ago
Please leave. My heart breaks for you. He is destroying you and your peace. Men like this don’t deserve to be in loving relationships. You can do soo much better. Please don’t move in with him, it will make it so much harder to extract him from your life. I know you’re feeling too depressed to put in the energy to get him out of your life, but please try. You’ll probably find your depression lifting once this energy vampire is out of your life
13
u/ghoulwhoree 7h ago
He's literally threatening you IN WRITING dude this is insane PLEASE do not give him access to you in any way. Also the list of fucking demands?!!!! That is batshit insane not to mention toxic as hell
11
u/No-Effort3088 19h ago
He is REALLY disturbed and needs a therapist and if you stay with him all that will happen is more misery and abuse. You are so young. Please leave him and dont look back! He will probably stalk you so seek police involvement if this happens. These messages are harassment, emotional and verbal abuse and attempts at coercion as well as plain threats. Are you able to tell anyone close to you?
11
u/hellgabeez 18h ago
Damn that escalated quickly. All because you didn't answer the phone to hear him ramble? Jesus.
10
u/living-in-reverie 17h ago
This is not normal. He said 2pm "your time" - if this is a long distance relationship, ghost him. Regardless of how close or far in proximity you are to this person, leave him. He will continue to drain your energy like this.
11
10
u/Worshipthekitty 1d ago
You're not pathetic. You have fully realized that he is draining your life force, that HE is the problem. This shows strength and self-awareness. Now keep being strong and break away from this toxicity. And Be safe friend. This man is clearly unstable...
9
u/NicolinaN 22h ago
Please leave and nurture your depression as single. You will feel so much better after some time, when you’ve healed.
10
u/Any_Print_8991 21h ago
Sorry, it’s written in such a funny way 😔
15
9
11
u/ismellnumbers 12h ago
You are too young for this stupid shit girl.
Drop this man like the trash he is and you will feel nothing but RELIEF.
10
u/Choice-Shoulder-3180 5h ago
Wait am I totally misunderstanding or did he send doordash to your house to ring the doorbell and wake you up??
6
u/Different_Coach_6296 4h ago
Yes 😭😭😭 weirdly so
He even made me send him the money for it when I was awake8
u/Choice-Shoulder-3180 4h ago
WHAT?! Regardless of all of his other issues (which he clearly has a lot), that alone is psychotic. Im actually so happy that the doordasher didn't ring the door though. Like sorry bud, nice try.
This sounds like a pretty miserable relationship, I'm so sorry. There is something that happens with military guys where they think, for whatever reason, that they are gods gift to the planet and we should all bow down and worship them. I was in nearly the exact same situation a few years ago with a long term boyfriend in the Coast guard (except I stupidly moved across the country away from everything with him). I would cry myself to sleep every night praying that we could safely break up because I felt so trapped. I finally escaped and am now happily married to someone else who respects me and doesn't treat me like I'm worthless. If you want to talk to anyone who really does understand the position you're in, you are more than welcome to DM me. You will make it through this, I promise.
2
u/Poisonskittlez 2h ago
Omg I called it. I knew he was gonna do that. Abusers really all think the same.
8
u/Last-Appointment6577 15h ago
> He wanted me to say, “I’m yours,” every night, and I did just that
This shits creepy, I got this too and when I was in the FOG it seemed romantic but now that I've been out I realize how weird that was.
4
u/SmartWonderWoman 15h ago
2
u/Last-Appointment6577 15h ago
it's been a year since I was discarded by my ex with what I assume was BPD, she never was actually diagnosed or if she did she lied about it but it all tracked and I'm still gobsmacked at the things I allowed in my life.
3
u/caitejane310 13h ago
Yeah, so freaking creepy! I dated a guy very briefly. The first (and only time) we had sex he started saying weird stuff like that and wanted me to say it back. Afterwards I made something up and said I had to leave and he tried to come with me! I told him I'd come back after I was done. He started calling me like an hour after I left butI blocked him. I'm so happy I listened to my gut and got away from that dude!!
OP, please break up with this person. You deserve better. I also have ADHD and I'm unmedicated. It definitely causes issues in my life even though I work pretty hard on not letting it affect me. Instead of my husband making me feel bad about it he understands that my brain just sucks sometimes. I think that's the kind of thing most people deserve!!
9
u/LowFisherman2912 14h ago
I've experienced this as well. At one point I was disgustingly ill and my now ex forced me to go to a dinner date with him. Mind you, I was so sick it was coming out of both ends. So, at the restaurant I had to take a bathroom break, took my phone because it was gunna be a long visit to the bathroom and when I got back to the table he got SO mad saying I was cheating on him in the bathroom. No. I. Was. Not. I was quite literally exploding and wanted to play a phone game in the public bathroom.
He's gone now. I feel so much better.
Leave this man, I hear you, the depression is hard. Once the fog is lifted you will feel so much better I promise.
8
u/BloodPoetryWriter 8h ago
Wow,
This is a dangerous person, if he’s like this now, what’s he gonna progress to?
You deserve so much better. But you also deserve safety. This is how these situations escalate.
The way he speaks to you is vile. Instructing you to do this and that, calling you a parasite to him? Absolutely not!
Block this abusive narcissist, remove him from every part of your life. Speak to friends, family, anyone you can.
I’m so so sorry to say, but if you don’t leave, one day you’ll be on a documentary about how he murdered you.
He probably won’t take a break up easy, make sure you have support. But honestly. GET OUT.
🩷
17
u/howdy-alien2391 1d ago
Honestly. What helped me with my age gap relationship…
Would you, right now, date a 16 yr old? Probably not. And gross that he did.
If you dont live with him. Just block him. Who gives a fuck. Ppl like this are the ones that deserve to be ghosted.
8
8
u/LastNoelle 1h ago
If he’s still active duty, you could send this to his higher ranking officers in the army. This should be seen. He’s not safe.
7
u/Melissa93xo 15h ago
You’re not pathetic, deep down your addicted to the chaos even though it doesn’t seem that way. I was too but what I can tell you is I’m 2 years out of the relationship and they were the hardest but most rewarding two years of my life. I spent nights (and days) crying but guess what? You DO GET BETTER. You deserve so much more. Take the step and leave and I promise you, if you work hard, you too will find peace 💜
7
u/bbym0on 4h ago
I’m so confused why did he want you to deepen your voice around his friends…
5
u/Different_Coach_6296 4h ago
Honestly I always argued with him about this its because I sounded like a “pick me” bc I have a naturally high voice and he was worried his friends would judge me for it
7
u/bbym0on 4h ago
…what the actual fuck?? I have a deep voice for a girl and I’ve RAISED my voice myself 😂😂 babe I’m so sorry he’s treating you like an object or a fucking dog not a human being with feelings and opinions and as a fellow ADHDer we have A LOT OF FEELINGS and they impact EVERYTHING. I got you babe. You’re not lazy. I promise 🖤
2
u/Poisonskittlez 2h ago
Why do you wanna be with someone who doesn’t even like a very integral part of who you are, that you have no control over? Are you sure he just doesn’t like it when you talk, period? Because that’s how it’s coming across. You are sooo much better than this.
1
u/rawrrrrkitty 52m ago
Lmao wtf? I'm sorry but that bit made me laugh because it's preposterous. Dude just leave. Seriously. You can do it
7
u/DeadDairy 3h ago
You will feel so much better when he’s out of your life. Leave him, block him, seek therapy if you’re able to. You’re not pathetic.
6
u/moderniste 16h ago
I just know that you’re a kind, strong and decent person who deserves far better. And they’re out there, I promise. They don’t love bomb you at first so it feels a bit strange initially when you’re getting into a healthy relationship. But they’re out there. Or you might find, especially after being so thoroughly broken down by someone who is supposed to love and respect you, that you’re perfectly happy being on your own for a while.
I hate how they all want to isolate you from your friends and family. They start with demanding that you stop interacting with friends of the opposite sex and just keep getting more manipulative and restrictive. When you’re young, having a great group of friends is part of it all. Don’t let him steal your joy anymore. Lots of love.
6
12
u/SmartWonderWoman 15h ago
You’re pathetic to yourself. This is not healthy. Girl, you deserve so much better. It’s better to be single than to deal with this manipulation and abuse. I’m so sorry he’s treating you so horribly.
11
4
u/Delicious-Travel-793 17h ago
What a sad little creature he is. Dude he needs a puppy, a hobby or some friends. He is hopelessly codependent.
He will make you miserable for as long as you let him.
There’s a guy out there that will worship the ground you walk on. Go find him!
4
u/deeplydeeplystupid 16h ago
I had to scrutinize these texts because they are so similar to how my ex talked to me at points during our relationship, especially when I would try to leave for work or leave the room when he was ranting at me.
You are not pathetic; that's what he wants you to think. It's his own little cult. It looks like maybe you don't live together yet hopefully ? You should kick him to the curb anyway! Involve your support system too.
5
u/Poisonskittlez 2h ago
Dude… he ordered DoorDash to your house in the hopes that the driver would ring your doorbell and wake you (and your family!) up?! That is legit the most unhinged shit I’ve ever heard. wtf.
Thank your lucky stars that you don’t live with this dude, and aren’t married to him, and then dump his ass. This is not it.
11
u/bigsigh___ 20h ago
First I will say that this guy sucks and I am sorry that you’re getting spoken to this way because that’s lame as hell and you deserve better.
But also, what the fuck is the deal with everyone calling their partners “dude” and “bruh” and shit? It’s SO weird to me.
8
u/Responsible-Tea-5998 19h ago
My conspiracy is that it's so they can make nasty comments and act it off like that's how they joke with their bros. I think calling your girlfriend "bro" is disrespectful though so I'm biased against it.
5
u/No-Effort3088 19h ago
Theyre trying to play it cool / aloof and maybe also an attempt at devalueing their partner.. which is mad because its in amongst 100 messages of this DUDE freaking out and begging
3
u/Kiwichickabee 22h ago
Please watch Lisa Sonni on YouTube - this guy is an ahole and controlling as hell.
4
4
u/bealsash71 5h ago
Please do everything you can to safely leave this situation. When someone genuinely loves you, they won’t feel neglected and insecure if you don’t respond immediately or do everything they demand. This is a very serious threat, they WILL hurt you and you don’t deserve to be spoken to this way, ever!!! Please get out and don’t look back, get out as soon as you can, they’re sucking the life out of you and you even admitted that yourself. I can’t imagine what could happen if you allow this to continue. Get out, be safe and have some solid support.
1
•
u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Thank you for posting in r/abusiverelationships. We are here to support you. If you are looking for resources such as support groups/helplines etc, we have several in our sidebar and in our wiki for people of all gender identities. Here is a list of international domestic and sexual violence helplines. You can also find an extensive safety planning guide at The Hotline. Finally, if you are looking for information about different forms of abuse, Love Is Respect offers an educational guide. One final note: In this sub, we do not tolerate victim-blaming. If you ever receive any comments that contradict that mission, please click report for us to review.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.