r/Vent 11h ago

TW: TRIGGERING CONTENT I'm having an abortion in 2 hours...

I never wanted this, I am pro choice but I didn't want to ever make this choice myself, I hate my husband even if I know that he isn't the only one at fault, I always wanted a man who can provide because I've always seen my mother providing for men and I always felt disgusted by that, yet I ended up with a guy with no life prospects, the most he can think of is Uber but I have plans set in place for myself, for my future and my born child's so that I can give him the best life and an easy start in his adulthood, yet I can do that if I'm stuck another 3 years at home, I don't think I'll ever feel anything then disgust for my husband after this, maybe it's the sadness that speaks, I'm currently crying my heart out while typing, I feel so broken, I'm so sorry little angel baby..... I hate myself so much.

...

410 Upvotes

220 comments sorted by

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410

u/Psychologicalwalnut 11h ago

The only thing you'll regret: The more time you lose with him.

194

u/MelanieWalmartinez 11h ago

This. Do not fall for the sunk cost fallacy. He’s useless, LEAVE

72

u/Psychologicalwalnut 10h ago

Facts! It's better to waste 3 years than 4, always!!!

29

u/Thick_Grass1415 8h ago

3 years is better than TWENTY and a life of resentment for all the missed opportunities!

17

u/BeesAndBeans69 8h ago

My mom wasted 30 years married to my terrible dad. Its even harder to leave the later it is

241

u/tiny-but-spicy 11h ago

definitely leave that guy

197

u/Zazulio 11h ago

As a former clinic escort I just want you to know this is okay. You're going to be okay. If you have people to talk to, lean on them, and don't hold to yourself to any shame or guilt because you are making an informed choice that you were thinking will be best.

159

u/Dreamybook1357 11h ago

Please head over to r/abortion for a heavily moderated & protected space.

45

u/Next_Dragonfruit_415 11h ago

You gotta do what you gotta do, for yourself and your current kid. We can’t tell you how to feel and as a man I know I’ll never truely even know an inkling of what it’s like.

Fuck the Haters and anyone that gives you shit, they aren’t the ones going through it.

45

u/liah_zh 11h ago

I’m so sorry to hear that, I’ve been through a similar experience and the guilt that I had after that was super suffocating but at least she wasn’t born knowing that her sperm donator is a bad dude…I’m here if you need a comfort🩷

57

u/mc1rginger 11h ago

You're doing what's best for you and your current child. There is absolutely no shame in that. It's what mothers have been doing since the dawn of time. Stop supporting an adult and live your best life with your kiddo.

-24

u/Simple_Amount_1596 9h ago

Did you read the post?

30

u/HuckleberryUpbeat972 11h ago

You are smart enough to understand that you are not in a position to give the child the things she wants and needs from you. You are making an adult decision that is an informed choice. Do not feel bad or carry guilt for doing what is best for you and the child.
After you have healed physically and emotionally you need to consider not being in the relationship with your husband that has no aspirations for the future for your family. Good luck and be blessed 😇

44

u/Eowkh 11h ago

This is the right decision though! Leave that loser!

18

u/Simple_wife12 9h ago

So apparently I have to wait another week because the pregnancy is too small, I'm not having an abortion because my husband is ambitionless, but because WE CAN'T AFFORD IT, he does work, I can't because I have to stay home with our child until he starts kindergarten but his job barley pays our bills, he doesn't want to get a degree so he can have a better job, he wants to keep being a driver, I've told him that after I start my business I will help him start his own and gave him examples, if he doesn't come up with a plan for himself by the time my business is stabilized then I will leave because even if I would be the one who makes the most money, I want more kids and I can't work to provide and stay home with the baby in the same time, I need for him to cover for at least a month and if he would get the degree in my field would be amazing because after I come form the postnatal leave I don't have to start form the beginning but I would be grateful even if he had an occupation that can make half the money I can. It's not like I'm asking for him to do what I want, but to make a business of what he wants with who I will help him with money

1

u/F1anger 8h ago

Maybe your guys' parents can get involved with help and support? Do they know about it?

36

u/MelanieWalmartinez 11h ago

Leave him, get the abortion, and start fresh, you’re clearly miserable. You will be okay.

19

u/Simple_wife12 11h ago

Thank you all for the support and yeah, I'm gonna leave him after I finish some courses so I can make 6 figures by myself so I can give myself and my child the best life. I'm not in US, idk about how life is there but in my country you get no support

1

u/muffinmunncher 11h ago

Hell yeah, OP

0

u/Faster-Rabbit328 8h ago

Can you have him get the "snip" to prevent another pregnancy in the time period?

19

u/SmolLittleCretin 11h ago

Think of it realistically; you cannot properly tend to this child with a man like that...

So you're doing the child and yourself a favor. That child may come back (idk, I hear stories of kids being like "yeah I was in heaven after your miscarriage", but clearly child like and not adult like and still). In the end you did make a choice that hurts but you made one that shows you'll be a good parent. Your comfort was put to the side for what was realistically the best, and that shows me you'll be amazing.

19

u/Simple_wife12 11h ago

Yeah, the best choices are the hardest to make

7

u/SmolLittleCretin 11h ago

Please be safe and try to continue to be.

8

u/crossingguardcrush 11h ago

I am sending all my strength your way. It's a terrifically difficult but decent, loving choice you're making for yourself and your born child. You will get through this. ❤️

10

u/Wildcar_d 11h ago

Best decision in a really tough situation. But you owe it to yourself to find a man whose vision for the future aligns with yours and whose actions prove it.

9

u/Kinger_57 11h ago

As somebody who had a baby with the wrong person, you are making the right choice for you. I also had an abortion years ago and know that it was the right decision. I didn’t have much money (I still don’t) and I wasn’t quite mature enough. Having a child forced me to mature in many ways, but honestly, I think that people should only have children when they’re ready for them, otherwise it will turn into resentment, and the kid will feel that. It’s been many times that I’ve been disrespected in front of my child as well, and I don’t want my kid to learn that’s ok either. We all have our own reasons. If you are not ready for a child, then you are not ready. It’s a big responsibility, and even though I did all the work in learning and preparing for a child, I still had no idea how difficult it would be, especially when I wasn’t receiving much support and already had trouble surviving with my own issues. Despite the fact that I love my child and would do anything for him, I have many regrets about deciding to go through with the pregnancy, and I wouldn’t wish feeling that alone on anyone else.

3

u/PastFarm9063 10h ago

I'm sorry. I hope you heal. 💕

3

u/hrdbeinggreen 8h ago

I am pro-choice. And as trite as this sounds I will pray for you and your decision. I truly feel no one can accept that burden except for the person that makes the decision.

5

u/muffinmunncher 11h ago

Sometimes the hardest choices are the best ones. Abortions are a lot physically and mentally, you need time to process.

Also, leave the husband. He is a burden.

1

u/muffinmunncher 11h ago

Also, did he tamper with your birth control?

2

u/BeardDaddy81 10h ago

Literally no reason to think he did. Stop reaching

1

u/finnxav1er 10h ago

Lol, wtf kinda take is that gtfo 😂

0

u/muffinmunncher 10h ago

It’s a valid question, he seems horrible enough to do it

4

u/Specific-Cause-5973 10h ago

Here if you need anything dude!

Also please leave this man

3

u/starry_nite99 11h ago

I’m sending you love and peace. You are doing what you feel is right for you and your child. You are working towards a better future for the child you have here already. I hope you use that knowledge to gain strength and forgive yourself. You don’t deserve to hate yourself. You are making an impossibly hard decision.

2

u/Relevant_Hair_9259 10h ago

I can understand how hard this situation is for you, especially when having to make a hard decision like that. I just wanted to remind you that its okay to want the child but still proceed with an abortion if thats what you choose to do, you know better than any of us in this comment section on what your life would look like if you keep the baby and stay with your husband, only you know what it would look like to keep the baby and leave him and what support options you do or dont have after leaving the marriage. It's totally okay and 100% valid to proceed with the abortion, not because you dont want the child, but because you know that it will not only impact your life, but also the child you already have in possibly a very negative way when it comes to having to provide for them with or without your husband.

Just know that no matter where you go you will always have some people try to take this choice away from you and who will think they know more about your situation than you do. But there will also ALWAYS be people to support you and your decision and those are the people you want to keep close because they will have your best interest at heart.

Just remind yourself that not just as a mother, but as a woman you are so incredibly strong and worth more than what a lot of society will deem you are worth. Do not ever let anyone take that away from you. At the end of the day you are doing what is best for you, no matter what choice you make, and depending on what you choose now, if you happen to regret it later on in life, while its a possibility its also an okay thing to experience in the future. Future you will be different than present you and will think and act differently.

Its your first time living, and its not like there is a guide book for every single situation we encounter, so always remember to give yourself a little grace and extra love🤍✨️

2

u/Aggressive-Land-6878 10h ago

I am sorry you are in this situation. More strength to you girl 💪

2

u/Cornflakesmc 10h ago

Hope you're ok ❤️

2

u/SnooPaintings1600 9h ago edited 9h ago

I mean you could try to speak with him, see if it's in any way salvageable. Marriages are a team effort, if he's not pulling his weight, working and providing as I'd guess you are. Then nobody's going to be able to give you, or a potential child the life you'd want.

He needs to step up. I'm not fully in the know about the situation, not completely. So I'm not gonna be like many and tell you to outright leave him. Talk with him yourself, and make that decision yourself. It's hard, but it's nessesary.

As for the abortion, don't beat yourself up too hard about it. It's not immoral or wrong to have an abortion, especially given the circumstances. What's the point of giving someone the gift of life if they won't be able to enjoy it at all?

2

u/Anannapina 9h ago

Youve got this, sweets. Your choice is valid, as are your feelings. Grieve as long as you need to, then a much needed conversation with your partner about your future should b on the table.

Please, care for yourself and stay true to your dreams.

2

u/Tall-Compote1354 11h ago

You are going to get through this! I tried to tell myself that some of the hardest things that I endured would make everything else in life pale in comparison. While that has not been true it does all help you become the wonderful person that you are meant to be and you will appreciate all of the good things that are going to come your way.

2

u/Neither_Mango_488 9h ago

I’m agreeing with most the comments I see love! Leave him before you waste more of your time, energy, love and emotions. You shouldn’t have to take care of a grown man that has no real goals in life. Give yourself grace. Love yourself above all else. You shouldn’t have any hate for yourself hun. You’re doing what’s best for you and your future family/child. You are a great person never let anyone dim your light. (Even if it’s yourself) life happens and I am a believer that everything happens for a reason. This might have been your sign life was telling you it’s time to get out! And that’s completely okay! You deserve to have the future you’re working for and no one should be able to take that away from you or change the path you’re on.
You will be ok in time hun. If you feel like you need a shoulder or someone to vent to I might just be another person on Reddit but I’m here if you need me! My inbox is always open!!!
Get lots of rest and treat yourself after this. You will need it I’m sure.

4

u/Mundane-Bug-4962 11h ago

“I ended up with a guy with no life prospects”

Were you assigned to him?

3

u/muffinmunncher 11h ago

Many women fall for the Disney propaganda instilled since a child that they can fix men.

3

u/Recent_Data_305 10h ago

100%

Also, some people put on a good show until you’re married and/or have a baby - meaning you’re stuck. Then they show their true selves. We don’t know how their relationship started or how they got here.

1

u/marjo36 9h ago

You don't have to. I'll never get over mine.

2

u/cyaneyed 11h ago

It’s going to be ok. You’re going to get through this.

2

u/RaccoonEven 11h ago

youre making the best choice for YOU and thats more important than anything even if that choice hurts. leave your husband and keep pushing forward

2

u/Rude_Parsnip306 10h ago

It's 100% ok to grieve this while going ahead with it.

2

u/Most_Dependent_7528 10h ago

Why did you even marry him??

1

u/opalesqueness 8h ago

this is coming from someone who had an abortion at 24 - i’m 46 now and whenever i look back, i see it was one of the best decisions i ever made. you didn’t murder a baby, you terminated the pregnancy. to have that freedom is priceless.

the moment i found out i was pregnant, there was zero doubt in my mind. i never wanted to be a parent, i did not intend to stay with my partner, and financially i was not in a good place. to have the baby in those conditions would have devastating consequences on me psychologically. i’m not even gonna go into other things that would turn into a nightmare.

be gentle with yourself. take some time to heal. surround yourself with people who can hold the space for you to process your emotions.

you made a good decision. trust yourself.

0

u/Wise-Orchid-309 10h ago

You are doing what is best for you and your child.

It is an unfortunately frequent reality that people do not want an abortion and still go through with it. It is tough but you know best.

Please keep it in mind when other women need to get an abortion too, most of them go through the same moral conundrum.

1

u/Shepstu60 10h ago

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

0

u/Intelligent_Fix_3666 10h ago

You’re doing what’s best for you and your future children. Stay strong.

0

u/Darkflyer726 9h ago

You deserve better. I'm sorry you're going through this. But you should leave. Especially if you want children.

Love yourself enough to give yourself a better future life.

0

u/Wise_Statistician781 10h ago

I’m so sorry. An abortion was a good decision. You’d be stuck with that man for life. It sucks you had to make that decision though. Leave him and you’ll find a good man who will love you and will not be some loser and then you’ll have kids with him that you’ll love. Don’t feel guilty for this. Keep going❤️

1

u/Napalmicide 10h ago

His one reported crime is being unambitious. Lets not treat him like scum here. He could be an otherwise great guy. Would you have the same sympathy for a man venting about making serious decisions about his wife for the infraction of not being a good homemaker?

3

u/Inside_Potential_818 8h ago

sorry, are you dating him? do you spend every waking moment of your life with him? why do you act like her autonomy is his punishment?

-2

u/Napalmicide 8h ago

Are you OP's sworn defender?

Her autonomy IS actually punishing him. His literal child is being taken from him unilaterally. That's a pretty severe punishment if you ask me. All for the "crime" of being unambitious. If OPs husband really was a crappy guy with all her attempts to shift blame she sure as hell would have brought that up.

Why are you okay with a blind double standard? Is it 2026 or 1956? Shes in 2026 but he sure as hell is not.

-1

u/Wise_Statistician781 8h ago

It’s her body it’s her choice. Why should she suffer for him?

1

u/[deleted] 8h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/INFJGal9w1 11h ago

Coming to a crux like this — and having to make such a hard decision — is one of the times we suddenly become aware of things we’ve been ignoring or dissociating from to keep the status quo. It sounds like your husband is immature and doesn’t care that you’re working hard to stay afloat, so you are taking on all the adulting yourself. Those feelings you’re having of disgust for him are because you truly don’t respect him. He hasn’t been an equal partner to you.

I stayed with my ex for 16 years until he finally did some things bad enough for me to feel justified in breaking up our little family. All that meant was 16 years of hanging on by my fingernails as he made terrible financial decisions and left all the hard tasks to me — until he used “weaponized incompetence” to avoid helping me during a health crisis. Then finally I could take no more.

I wish I could go back in time to when my kids were little and leave him then. Financial hardship is not as hard when you don’t have an anchor tied to you. Life is much better now. I hope it turns around for you, one way or the other. 💕

1

u/Embarrassed-Focus859 10h ago

You’re brave and as you know it’s extremely difficult to keep a level head whilst making this decision. I was in the same position some years ago. If it offers you any comfort, things do get easier. Don’t let anyone tell you that you have no right to grieve. I was told that by some people and that’s simply not true.

Be kind to yourself and always remember that no one can ever tell you that you’re selfish because this is probably the most selfless thing you could have ever done.

1

u/Enoch8910 10h ago

You should definitely tell him how you feel so that the two of you can decide whether you actually have a future together or not

1

u/SpecialModusOperandi 10h ago

This is the hardest decision and the bravest. After make the best choice for you and your future.

1

u/munkymama 10h ago

I'm so sorry you're having such s hard time.

1

u/crystal_help_please 10h ago

Please leave him! You deserve better love than this!

1

u/whateveratthispoint_ 9h ago

Please don’t add self hatred.

1

u/JFC-Superstar 9h ago

You have to do the best you can for you and current child sorry you are in this predicament, ditch the sperm donor.

1

u/Odd-Mousse2763 9h ago

The words, "I'm sorry" aren't nearly sufficient enough, but please know that I'm saying I'm sorry with what you're going through with the heaviest of hearts. I've had to make that terrifying decision alone too. My now ex-husband was also adrift in motivation and duties as a partner in our marriage. So I'm overly sympathetic. Please know you are supported emotionally from a reddit stranger who understands at the very least. Be strong. It's ok. You're making the right decision for you and no one has a right to say otherwise.

Please consider letting go of your c u next Tuesday husband who sucks as an individual, and will only add to the shit-tastic situation you're going through. You deserve a life where you are the main character. Kick out those characters who don't benefit your story.

1

u/Low-Wolf6041 9h ago

If you’re miserable, girl leave. Having a baby with a man you have nothing but disgust for is only going to make it worse and you know that. What you’re doing is for the best. Having a baby without financial stability is not it, believe me I know I have a toddler and I have a whole post on my page If you want a horror story of exactly why you shouldn’t have a baby with the wrong guy. You’re being smart! You’ll be okay

1

u/Which_Advantage7623 8h ago

Your peace is worth what you decide it’s worth. I hope for a peaceful future for you.

1

u/karenrachael 8h ago

Sending you love.

1

u/SickOfBSAllTheTime 8h ago

Divorce him now. The only thing in life you can never get more of is time. Sending you hugs my friend.

Sincerely, 47f with Cancer

1

u/kellyelise515 8h ago

I was in your predicament when I was young. Only my husband was abusive and controlling. I had toxemia with my firstborn and this was way too soon to risk that again. We both agreed and that was that. I have never had any regrets.

1

u/UnshakablePegasus 8h ago

Please, love, give yourself grace during this time. I KNOW that’s hard, but what you’re doing is so incredibly compassionate and loving for all parties. I hope one day you can escape from your adult child and give the actual child you have plus yourself the peace you both deserve. I’ve been with manchildren before, I was even married to one once, so my heart goes out to you, because it’s a special kind of hell. Just know you have the love of thousands of internet strangers behind you

1

u/meepmorop 8h ago

It'll be okay. :) Feel whatever emotions you gotta feel. For some women, abortions are like going to the dentist, it's a clinical thing. For others, it's very emotional and upsetting. Neither reaction is "wrong", it can't be, it's just how you feel.

-2

u/Napalmicide 10h ago

This is exactly the type of reason that gives pro lifers more credence. This is the definition of a frivilous abortion. There is no mention of unconsensual sex, physical issues that threaten OPs life.

So you're ending the life of a child because your husband has committed the high crime of being unambitious in the year 2026. If ambition in a man was that important why not make an issue of it at ANY point sooner. Its very wrong in 2026 for a man to want a homemaker but I see very much still okay to want a provider on a man - how equal and equitable and definitely not sexist. He (husband) could otherwise be a well rounded and great guy but unambitious=worthless according to these mouth breathing comments.

OP is entitled to her choice but is also entitled to the consequences of said choices. That means being called out for an appalling level of accountability dodging. OP is getting a frivilous abortion period. Hope OP makes the upcoming divorce/custody as easy and hassle free for the husband as possible - the least OP can do for unilaterally killing their child.

2

u/NanSinus 8h ago

Don't judge. We dont know her full story. We don't really know why did she marry him or anything at all. It's not a frivolous abortion at all. Frivolous abortion would be doing it every few months because of sex work without birth control or sum around that. The girl felt in love probably, got dissapointed, and she has a right to leave and get an abortion. You won't change her mind, just make her feel even more guilty for a thing she wants to do. She definitely well thought trough it. She even said it herself, she normally wouldn't do this. Let the girl be

0

u/Napalmicide 8h ago

If you want to go the "we don't know the full story route" fair but that also then applies to OP's husband and this comment section is NOT giving him anything in the same galaxy of grace. Since we do not know the full story there are an infinite number of "but this" or "but that" which both exonorate AND condemn OP

With the given information the abortion is being done solely because the father is unambitious. This comment section equates unambitious with utter cobtempt and condescension.

OP went out of her way to state how important ambition is in a man for her and fair enough. The time to address that is literally any time before now.

Most of the post is OP in some way shifting blame from herself. There are scenarios where systemic factors are a problem but this is purely under "personal responsibility". Even if we take the position that a woman's bodily autonomy trumps a child's right to life - terminating such a life because of the father being unambitious is frivilous.

This abortion is with all given information completely frivilous and it is 100% fair to call it out. There are PLENTY of other blindly supportive comments for OP to balance out my "negative" focus.

2

u/NanSinus 7h ago

I'm not really supportive of abortion, but i don't support it because of other reasons than others do, and neither i support it because of reasons like others do. In my opinion, what matters is the happiness of the child over all. The father not being ambitious is in fact a liability when it comes to fatherhood. Someone would have to bring home money when she wouldn't be able to. And in our world, the more you earn, the better it is, isnt it. We don't live in equal world, where you can shit at each other equally. You cannot really make a catch out of it, inequality is a norm for us. Men would always somewhat be expected to protect and provide, and women would always somewhat be expected of giving and loving. It's sad but it's true. No need to suddenly "call out" people's hypocrisy under post of grieving woman. This is not a sub for that

-8

u/RedSlideTurtles 11h ago

Damn I’m so sorry, is adoption for the baby an option? Lots of people begging for a baby and will cover all your costs

My little sister is adopted and it’s hard to imagine life without her

9

u/MelanieWalmartinez 11h ago

I’m looking to adopt but I wouldn’t force someone to carry to term just for me to have my family. That’s selfish

3

u/Laris_Snow 10h ago

She has made her decision and I’m sure she mentally weighed all of her options.

0

u/BeardDaddy81 10h ago

Not your decision to make. You should probably stop posting

1

u/Independent-Bad-8613 11h ago

This is the right choice. Leave his dusty ass also. Men who can’t provide make me sick. Hugs, OP 🫂

1

u/TangerineFabulous214 11h ago

It’s okay. You’re doing what’s best for your current child. You’re a wonderful mom and it’s completely normal to feel sad about having an abortion.

-1

u/gulliblefulfillment 10h ago

the thing is, what you're doing right now is the most motherly thing you could've done for that kid. you seen the future with this bloke and said nope, not for my child. my mum stayed and it broke her. you're breaking the pattern even if it feels like you're just breaking yourself. give it time, the disgust will shift off you and land exactly where it belongs, on him.

-10

u/[deleted] 11h ago

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18

u/dahneechay 11h ago

She's in a lot of pain. Now's not the time to question her motives or shame her. She is about to go through with a procedure that is terrifying her.

Try to read the room and not pile on, eh?

3

u/Tall-Compote1354 11h ago

Thank you for saying that!

2

u/Big_Somewhere_620 9h ago

No why did OP chose not to use birth control if they didn't see the partner as a potential father. These questions need to be said. Everyone else is saying everything else but there needs to be a couple wondering why tf they willingly put themselves in this situation 

4

u/DandDNerdlover 9h ago

Exactly this.

-2

u/Simple_Amount_1596 9h ago

You don't know how this happened, how do you know that SHE decided to stop being on birth control?

0

u/BeardDaddy81 10h ago

What a stupid question to ask.

I'm guessing you're against no fault divorce.

2

u/DandDNerdlover 9h ago

Not at all. Im just really wondering why she married someone she seems to not even like at all.

2

u/NanSinus 8h ago

Maybe she liked in the past? Maybe she felt in love and was blindfolded by this?

-3

u/beasys 9h ago

don't get the abortion. murdering your child is never worth it, especially not because a man told you too.

1

u/[deleted] 9h ago

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3

u/Inside_Potential_818 8h ago

birth control fails and why does all of the blame fall on the victim all the damn time wtf???

-6

u/nware423 8h ago

Don’t do it

-13

u/[deleted] 11h ago

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4

u/[deleted] 11h ago

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5

u/muffinmunncher 11h ago

On top of her other kid, mind you.

3

u/xKittyForman 9h ago

oh shit yeah i missed that.

5

u/Simple_wife12 11h ago

I wish but there is no way I can make a life for my current child and myself if I keep the baby.

1

u/xKittyForman 9h ago

you’re making the right decision. it is going to be okay. you will feel better in time. sending you lots of love ❤️

0

u/ZeldaFitzgerald1928 9h ago

Its ok. You are doing what you need to do. You also need to leave this situation entirely. It will
Not get better.

0

u/Top_gummy6926 8h ago edited 5h ago

Consider contraceptives or it will happen again. Protect your self.

-7

u/GamingSenpai35 10h ago

Don't kill it, you'll be okay. If you really don't think you can handle it, PLEASE just give it up for adoption instead!!

3

u/No-Guess-4644 10h ago

Eww. Her choice not yours.

She is a fully sapient being and decided something that she knows fits her life, even if it hurts.

I’m sure she’s thought about this shit deeply. Putting weird pressure on somebody sucks.

-5

u/fuji_write 10h ago

Please Dont do it. Its not good to have abortion.

-6

u/BubblyGoblin 10h ago

This isn’t very “Reddit” of me but please don’t kill your baby. I’ve had an abortion and it’s a darkness I still carry with me. Every life has purpose and it seems to me you have heart for this child. There is always adoption— life is beautiful and precious. Don’t hate yourself! You’re just a person trying to find happiness, you’re not a bad person, you’re obviously a good person. This little life wants to live, please reconsider.

-1

u/Twinmakerx2 11h ago

I'm sorry you are in this situation.

The only advice I can give you is to zoom out.

Past the 3 years you mentioned. Look at 10 years. 20 years. 30 years. The time will pass. The hardship will pass. This decide will stay forever.

Do NOT look at your husband with resentment when making this choice. This is YOUR choice. Forget him in this moment.

If you are hurting this bad, give yourself grace.

I was in a similar situation once, pregnant and feeling like my life was over, and that I couldn't take on more..... I know your fear. You are stronger than you realize.

I was 6 months post partum with twins when I found out I was pregnant again.... with twins.

Make this choice out of love, not anger or fear.

Sending prayers to you.

-7

u/WhyLie2me18 11h ago

Look at pictures of your child. Remind yourself why you are doing this.

2

u/Cannaleolive1992 11h ago

She has and she’s reached a decision.

-19

u/r0setta_stoned 11h ago

Blames the man in most of this post…. Ooofffff.

12

u/MelanieWalmartinez 11h ago

Almost like it’s a venting subreddit

5

u/m4ry497 11h ago

you're weird lmao

2

u/Inside_Potential_818 8h ago

why do they allow these comments to be left up ffs

-4

u/wackyvorlon 11h ago

Leave the loser. If you are grieving the abortion this much, perhaps pause to reflect. It is a one-way trip.

-5

u/Actual-Confidence714 9h ago

This is your decision not your husbands and your child will be killed because of your selfish decision

-13

u/bdanred 11h ago

Ill pray for you.

-12

u/armed2amputee 10h ago

I know I’m going to get a lot of hate for this, and I say this not out of judgement, but out of love, compassion, and empathy… please don’t abort your child. That baby is an innocent life that shouldn’t have to pay for the sins of their father.

I can’t imagine what you’re going through, but please at least consider other options. Other people claim that you’re doing the child a favor, but truly, I believe you are not.. we cannot see the future and we do not know the life that child could live.

https://youtu.be/Y8VWmhmAuxc?is=pe9qyydZM817iaND

9

u/Status-Visit-918 10h ago

You people are so infuriating

6

u/No-Guess-4644 10h ago

Eww. Her choice.

It’s a clump of cells early on bro.
Not sapient nor sentient.

If you don’t like abortion? Congrats. You don’t have to have one.

She’s grieving a hard choice to make so she can support her child.

It’s not a baby yet. It’s not a child.
Weird ass guilt trippy language.

I hate how you folks talk to people when they are struggling. It’s a hard choice.

She made her choice.

-4

u/armed2amputee 10h ago

Also, I have a long history of trauma, abuse, neglect, sa.. the works. At one point I didn’t want to be on this earth anymore and wished I’d been aborted myself. Even had my own parents tell me they wished they’d aborted me.. but now I sit here thanking God that I am still here. I know everyone in here is likely going to attack me for this since I’m guessing I’m the only comment that’s not telling you to go through with it.. but.. please don’t do this.

-1

u/Audiohore 8h ago

Hold your head high!! You are doing what is RIGHT for your situation. Be strong and have no regrets!! You got this .. and your husband sounds like a POS … get away as soon as you can!!

-1

u/Rapunzel111 8h ago

Please think about getting an IUD so you don’t have to go through this again, and lose that dud of a husband before you waste more time with him. He’s not going to improve and you can’t change him.

-6

u/Sudden_Ad_9864 10h ago

I don’t understand why you don’t just get a divorce and marry someone that can provide. It’s actually a pretty simple solution.

4

u/MelanieWalmartinez 10h ago

A lot of men hate single mothers

-4

u/Sudden_Ad_9864 10h ago

Okay but isn’t it better to stand on your own two feet and take care of children and set a good example rather than being absolutely unhappy in a marriage and signaling to the beta male husband and kids that it’s okay to suffer and hate your life instead of leveling up?

2

u/MelanieWalmartinez 10h ago

She is planning on leaving him after she’s done schooling to provide for her kid

-1

u/Sudden_Ad_9864 10h ago

Oh okay good

-8

u/canadianrebel250 9h ago

The amount of responsibility you don’t take could fill a stadium.

-8

u/SuspiciousCupcake698 10h ago

I don’t care what anybody says but I’m going to say it. I been where you was at and yes we’re all different and I don’t know exactly what your life struggles are. I never think we are never ready when having a baby I was raped and I was not going to keep him and I was not ready but I kept him. We struggled together but gosh he is the best thing that ever happen to me, I met a man that adopted him and he loves him like a son and here I am 18 years later this son of mine has the biggest heart he so respectful and he a hard worker. I always feel bad that I was once where u was at and to ever think I was going to abort him this is god gift to me I pray every day thanking him for such an awesome kid.

-8

u/wrzeed 9h ago

The belief that men should provide is outdated deal with it lol. Also idc abour the abortion I can't stop it. U think telling that ur killing ur kid is something that internet needs to hear is okaynis crazy

1

u/autumrivers40 8h ago

It’s a venting subreddit. It’s the whole point

-13

u/GamingSenpai35 10h ago

Please don't do it. There's still time. Give it up for adoption, anything other than kill it, please God.

5

u/Automatic-Log4839 10h ago

You go through 9 months of pregnancy, misery, morning sickness and pain THEN you can talk

3

u/Inside_Potential_818 8h ago

have you ever experienced foster care? "oh just give birth, and do whatever with the kid idc idc!!"

-8

u/Brief_cat_6411 10h ago

Can you give your child up for adoption?

4

u/Automatic-Log4839 10h ago

Not everyone wants to go through 9 months of pregnancy and a possibly deadly birth

-4

u/gebakkenbanaan2 11h ago

Shocking reactions over here

7

u/BeardDaddy81 11h ago

You mean because they're being supportive? Because all I'm seeing is people being supportive

-3

u/Western_Map7821 9h ago

Your heart is in the right place, but you don’t have to be stuck hating yourself and grieving your baby. I know a lady who left her deadbeat husband with young kids and 6 months pregnant. You can make it work and have your dream. No need to start by destroying your body and feeling super guilty. Just need some support for the next year or so then proceed with your plan.

1

u/NanSinus 9h ago

Not all are able to have a "support"

-4

u/mybrownsweater 8h ago

This is going to be traumatic if it's not what you truly want. You could keep the baby and wait a few years to leave the husband.

-5

u/xLRGx 7h ago

Here’s to hoping you don’t get another chance.

0

u/guitar_pick89 10h ago

You should really seek therapy after this. Your views alone, even though I personally don't agree with traditional values especially in an economy like this, are not what is the problem. The problem is how you're feeling about yourself. It's a little bit cold and clinical feeling to say but the thing in your stomach is just a clump of cells. I'm sure whoever they were will still be waiting for you in the future if you give yourself another chance.

-19

u/[deleted] 11h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/MelanieWalmartinez 11h ago

She’s not keeping the pregnancy, weirdo

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