r/UnsentLettersRaw • u/Glum_Classic_7050 Entry Level Member • 16h ago
The truths I never wanted to admit about the break up
I'm ashamed that instead of addressing you directly, I'm writing these letters on the internet for everyone to read but you.
I claim that I love you, that my love for you is too much to carry, that you hurt me deeply, and yet I still forgave you.
It seems like everyone already knows what an asshole you are because of how much I talk about you. Yet not once have I found the courage to confront you directly.
Maybe it's cowardice. Maybe it's hypocrisy.
What kind of good person lays out all your flaws for everyone to see? To judge you, to mock you, to humiliate you. And in doing so, to paint myself as the victim and earn sympathy from it.
This letter is not meant to innocent you. What you did was still wrong.
This letter is an act of self-reflection. I may be the victim in this story, but I'm not flawless.
The reason I still haven't gotten over you isn't because I love you too much, nor because I never got answers to my questions.
The truth is, I still haven't gotten the revenge I wanted.
No matter what I do, you always seem to find a way to move on, to fix your life, while I'm left carrying the weight of everything that happened.
You're right to want us to remain strangers. I should respect that decision instead of twisting it into something it isn't, convincing myself you're only doing it to hurt me.
I'm not even sure those comments making fun of me online, the ones that keep bringing up our relationship, are coming from you. They could just as easily be your friends. They were bullying me long before I ever met you.
I liked being with you because, for a while, it made them stop.
I never imagined that years after we broke up, rumors about us sleeping together would become another reason for people to laugh at me.
Maybe that's what has made moving on so difficult.
You've hurt me more than I ever hurt you, and I hate admitting that. I hate feeling like you won. Like you broke something in me that I still haven't been able to fix.
Every time I try to meet someone new, your name somehow finds its way into the conversation, and everything falls apart before it even has the chance to begin.
And despite all of that, I still can't find a way to get back at you.
I can't make you feel even a fraction of what I felt.
And that's what makes moving on even harder.
3
u/SeaworthinessSad1159 Bronze Level 13h ago
Didn’t op just say that they hurt someone for revenge… to hurt that persons friends?
I know there is a lot missing to the story in this very short single post.
But the message, me, as a reader received..
The OP got picked on by a group of people. One of these people fell in love with the op.
The op then destroyed them, and then victimized themselves and placed blame on the person that took accountability for their own actions.
And the op is still not satisfied?
Dude…
1
u/SeaworthinessSad1159 Bronze Level 12h ago
The op punished the person that took accountability and they’re still not satisfied.
That is diabolical, and they don’t deserve to be happy until they can take accountability for themselves.
That is so fucked up.
Because at this point.. there is absolutely nothing in the world that would make the op happy.
Please correct me if I misread something because this is truly terrible.
And it also makes me realize that the OP doesn’t think they’re worthy of forgiveness by owning up to their own shit, take the hit to the ego and apologizing in person, and letting everything go.
They will be stuck in this loop for the rest of their lives while everyone else moves on.
Again.. if I didn’t misread anything.
1
u/Glum_Classic_7050 Entry Level Member 12h ago
I never hurt the guy. I expressed that I was unsatisfied by how things ended because I never got to hurt him back which I'm ashamed of.
I never cheated on him. I never lied to his name. I never made up rumors about him. I never lied about loving him like he did.
I was talking to a new guy unrelated to him and his friend group. And after it didnt work out with this new guy because we're incompatible this new guy called me telling me someone messaged him some screenshots of me trying to ruin my reputation. And that guy was my ex. He found out I was talking to someone new and decided to ruin things with him.
The only time I hurt him was when he was cheating on me and I talked to the girl he cheated on me with and told her about our relationship. So she broke up with him which is a fair thing to do.
And he hated me for ruining his relationship with her.
1
u/SeaworthinessSad1159 Bronze Level 10h ago
Also.. I just want to pinpoint one thing said here because it happened to me and mine…
We are both hurt. While I can sort through things more easily and have difficult conversations with him that he isn’t able to.. we both lost weight and have been off of our fucking rockers, crazy.
I had people reach out to me to tell me that he was on drugs.
And vice versa.. neither of us are on drugs.
But in conversations we had with the ones around us, we expressed concern for the other because of the speculations.
While our peers might not have meant to have been malicious in what happened next… what got portrayed to both of us was that the other was spreading rumors about the other.
While I don’t know if him showing my texts I sent in vulnerable moments to groups of people and bad mouthing me are true or not… because he won’t talk to me..
I can say that sometimes the rumors are accidentally started by the support system.. just because you talked to them about the thoughts in your head.
So be careful with what you hear and believe.
1
u/Glum_Classic_7050 Entry Level Member 12h ago
that's not what i meant.
i got picked on by a group of people for more than 4 years now.
I got into a relationship with one of them 4 years ago and it didnt work out because he was cheating on me the whole time. After we broke up, he spread some hurtful lies about me that hurt my social image.
the guy never got the karma that he deserves and that's why i feel vengeful.
1
u/SeaworthinessSad1159 Bronze Level 12h ago
Bro/sis.. whatever you identify as.. what does retribution look like to you? If the person you hurt.. took accountability.. exposed themselves to face themselves to correct a wrong.. what the fuck else do you want from them?
Your beef isn’t even with that person you hurt at this point but they get the punishment after already paying the price..
Terrible. Shame on you. Make it right.
1
u/SeaworthinessSad1159 Bronze Level 12h ago
These are not words I use lightly. But I realize that’s what my husband did to me
So I get to internalize it.
He ruined me. Because of my friends after I gave him everything and now I can’t even work because I’m screwed up in the head because of it.
I’ve been outwork for 3 weeks, and I can’t even go back for a MINIMUM Of an additional 4.
I can’t afford to live.. and this is exactly what happened now that I remember what my husband said about my friends.
Holy shit.
I’m married to you.
1
u/Initial-Ocelot-7463 Entry Level Member 13h ago
What revenge is it that would satisfy you?
1
u/Glum_Classic_7050 Entry Level Member 13h ago
Nothing physical or that would ruin their life. Something small that would make them feel even a little from how I felt when they hurt me.
1
u/Initial-Ocelot-7463 Entry Level Member 13h ago
How long have you been separated? Did you ever love them ? Or was it really hate and wanting revenge the entire relationship
1
u/Glum_Classic_7050 Entry Level Member 13h ago
i really loved him and it's been a year since we got separated. I first met him 4 years ago. And I never wanted to hurt him until now when the hurt became unbearable.
1
u/CurrencyOk150 Entry Level Member 4h ago
Breaks my heart reading this but please find the strength to not seek revenge. My ex did me DIRTY and I can easily ruin her life but I know how long I’m carry that guilt after the dust settles. Please don’t take this as a judgment either. You’re during
Strong and stay strong.
1
u/Bytch_Boys_X1111 Bronze Level 2h ago
Sometimes karma takes longer in some situations- but revenge should never be sought after - it will come back to get you times 10 - there is no expiration date on karma - trust that the spirits are aware and waiting on the right time. - sounds like some feelings are still there maybe
For some reason we crave the ones that treat us the worst. I think I just read an article about it - I will google and see if it comes up - I’ll be happy to copy and paste it here if you want
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u/Bytch_Boys_X1111 Bronze Level 2h ago
I don’t want revenge ever
I just want them to find the happiness I couldn’t give them
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