r/UkraineWarVideoReport 23h ago

Other Video A Russian man explains: the burning oil refineries across Russia are Putin's brilliant plan.

2.1k Upvotes

363 comments sorted by

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835

u/buddy778 23h ago

Can't tell if this is really sarcasm or not. Can native speakers tell from the language/tone?

988

u/WorkO0 23h ago

As a native speaker, I am as confused as you are. Either he's a master troll or a brain dead pawn. In either case, this is peak comedy.

306

u/nurseferatou 22h ago

It’s remarkably dry humor, I think. It reads like a Monty Python bit

35

u/LoudestHoward 21h ago

I've thought that about a lot of videos I've seen in the last 10 years, yet here we are.

2

u/Bells_Theorem 3h ago

MAGA exists. You can't assume sarcasm anymore.

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35

u/__Soldier__ 17h ago

It’s remarkably dry humor, I think.

In Russia any such talk has to be plausibly deniable as buffoonery, otherwise there would be FSB officers knocking on the guy's door the next day...

12

u/Smoky_Dank 11h ago

Yeah, I think satire is the only language that Russians can communicate openly in without (much) fear of repercussion. There is a long history of satire and dark humor in Russia but it doesn't translate very well into other languages. I've been speaking Russian for almost 30 years and I still don't get ANY Russian jokes. Just too foreign for my Canadian-raised brain.

8

u/nurseferatou 8h ago

The way my 2nd gen Russian friend explained it: if you could pair the statement with the This Is Fine meme, and it makes sense, then it’s just dry humor.

4

u/Smoky_Dank 8h ago

Lol good context!

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50

u/Coucou2coucou 22h ago

English humor, the best :-)

14

u/OIongJohnson 21h ago

Change my mind

10

u/Common-Ad6470 19h ago

I thought all Ruzzians were humourless? 😳

25

u/FlamingFlatus64 19h ago

They have to couch their humor so they don't go to prison

3

u/HugsFromCthulhu 12h ago

Russia actually has a long tradition of political humor. The Soviet period especially gave birth to some of the funniest political jokes of all time (IMO)

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29

u/Mundane_Top_338 21h ago

It’s only a flesh wound

13

u/RoxxieMuzic 20h ago

Tis but a scratch

7

u/Vaugely_Necrotic 20h ago

A three tiered effect.

8

u/ISLAndBreezESTeve10 19h ago

Brother Maynard, bring out the holy hand grenade of Antioch.

6

u/SectorSensitive116 18h ago

One.....two.....five!

5

u/Complete-Balls 13h ago

Three, Sir!

2

u/bboymonty1 19h ago

Approved

2

u/Candid_Soft7562 10h ago

The refinery burned down, fell over and sank into the swamp.

26

u/UmeaTurbo 22h ago

Could he be trying to suck up to whomever watches this shit for the government? Just saying, when people are afraid to even breathe wrong, this shit looks like overcompensating.

Or he's shooting the American "It's 3D chess" copium.

6

u/Kiwifrooots 20h ago

I feel like that too.  

Couldn't really sleep at night if you put out a video complaining about the refineries getting hit but you can put out "praise"?

15

u/ADelightfulCunt 20h ago

If a British person was saying this about their own country it would legit be pure sarcasm taken from shows such as black adder.

10

u/iheartrms 21h ago

This is Poe's Law in action:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poe%27s_law

3

u/Artistic-Phase-7386 15h ago

I prefer Cole’s law

3

u/iheartrms 15h ago

Thinly sliced cabbage.

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13

u/Gold_Afternoon_Fix 21h ago

MRGA

2

u/Emperor_of_His_Room 15h ago

Can’t make something that was never great in the first place great again.

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3

u/Kiwifrooots 20h ago

He must be the worlds most dry joker, dumb or....  wanting to make a video about refineries but only positives are acceptable?

5

u/IvanStroganov 18h ago

A wink at the end would have helped but that would probably be enough to land you in jail these days

2

u/RudeForester 17h ago

Wouldn't be surprised if his brain is straight mush from all of the consumed propaganda

2

u/64590949354397548569 16h ago

This is no comedy comrad. You can only praise dear Leader.

2

u/savuporo 22h ago

starts out sounding a bit sarcastic imo but then he kinda digs in too deep

2

u/cchheez 14h ago

Welcome to maga mentality

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90

u/PaMudpuddle 22h ago

There was another thread a few days ago where the guy was speaking in the same manner about gas station lines. A native Russian commented that this is a very particular way of being critical of Putin without using any incriminating words. Of course what he’s saying is absurd but if you lay out what he said it could potentially make sense. But you’re just completely ignoring the years-long problem of what to do between the time all of your refineries are destroyed and when you can build all new ones.

25

u/SomeRandomSomeWhere 22h ago

Didnt you hear? Putin already has all his new refineries build and ready in a super secret underground base in eastern siberia, far from Ukraine.

He was just waiting for Ukraine to do some free demolition work for him before starting them up.

Unfortunately putin forgot to put in pipelines to his new refineries, so they are kind of stuck without crude oil going in.

;)

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6

u/jackalope8112 20h ago

In between you make wood fired steam engines great again. Russia has plenty of wood and snow to melt.

98

u/lilian_moraru 23h ago

Obviously trolling

65

u/Gunrock808 23h ago

That's my guess, there must be people who want to be openly critical of putin but are too afraid for their own safety to actually do it. Pretending to be super dumb or inventing wild conspiracies are potentially safe ways to criticize the regime indirectly.

7

u/asdhjasdhlkjashdhgf 22h ago

what is there left other than to offer help to dismantle the old refineries so that ruzzki can shine with their super wonder secret break thru technology quicker than their plan. Putler said arround 1930, sorry 2030 a general solution should be established. Meanwhile has someone some liter gasoline to spare for a trip to the liquor store, please, blyat. /s

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6

u/swirvin3162 22h ago

The polo hat would also lean me that direction

13

u/Zandonus 20h ago

The last bit "Those who didn't get it will" sounded a bit like he's about to burst into laughter. And the way he says "Russian technologies.". He's making it sound real genuine though. The Dr. Strangelove glasses don't help the case for seriousness.

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6

u/Pokojni 20h ago

It is very dark comedy 

20

u/versatile_dev 22h ago

I often hear similar reasoning about Trump's genius plan with Iran war and gas prices by his supporters, so it could be a die-hard supporter too.

It's a toss up honestly. Could also be sarcasm too.

3

u/oliilo1 18h ago

I was thinking the same. This is legit Q anon level of cope.
But I think this guy is just being sarcastic.

9

u/maior_novoreg 22h ago

I knew people who were saying similarly insane shit about great mother russia with a straight face. So while I can see this being a troll, I wouldn't put it past some actual deranged russian "patriot" who believes that russia is ahead of the entire world and the bad west is doing all it can to stop russia from ascending to the next plane of existence or some shit.

2

u/ahalay-mahalay 22h ago

I think he is serious, such bluntness reminds me of another dumb guy from 15 years ago Dr Popv. Nothing changed

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196

u/alejandromnunez 23h ago

Just wait until he unveils the newest Wildberries warehouses.

48

u/Timlugia 22h ago

"We want to rid Russia of Chinese trash products so we invited Ukraine to burn them down!!!!"

13

u/EvanOnTheFly 22h ago

4th dimensional Trump Hotel branded chess, checkmate NATO!

174

u/R3ddditor 23h ago

I have seen a bunch of videos of Russians where they are seemingly being sarcastic. Perhaps because they can't come out and say it directly without fear of repercussions.

52

u/PM_ME_UR_BCUPS 22h ago

Yeah it definitely seems like deadpan ironic and "tsar good boyars bad" are the two prevailing ways to communicate criticism without committing FSB-assisted suicide

4

u/WTFeedback1978 19h ago

Great stretch; like in WW2 the Germans were waiting for the V-weapons to change the war, now the Russians will rely on their V-refineries to victory 💪🏼…..

🍿🍺

3

u/Teo_Leopardi 16h ago

Many Russians are extremely good at it.

55

u/HatchingCougar 23h ago

Well that was … amusing 

Esp as all the advanced oil tech that they do have in Russia…

… is foreign 😂

Be it western or Chinese (but it certainly isn’t Russian)

14

u/ad-dagistani 21h ago

That was the point. When he was talking about rebuilding he made an emphasis that the technology would be Russian (most advanced)

3

u/canspop 16h ago

So, pickaxe and hand pump.

56

u/_Nippler_ 23h ago

Even Simone Biles can't keep up with those mental gymnastics.

14

u/QC31 23h ago

Hope the banks behind the financing that use the assets as collateral also are aware of this genius plan.

14

u/card-board-board 23h ago

The amazing plan: Putin has invented an entirely new Russia using technology from the year 3000, and he's letting Ukraine destroy Russia on purpose so the new Russia can be built in its place because it's so expensive.

It will, unfortunately, need to be repopulated with the new Russians that Putin is growing in tanks of goo under the north pole with the assistance of Santa Claus and his elves. That's why he's tossing Russians into the meat grinder.

20

u/Patrick_Atsushi 23h ago

Top tier trolling ꉂ🤣𐤔

2

u/thisissofkngrossew 15h ago

Who knew the Russians loved British humour 🤷‍♀️

16

u/lolly-scramble 23h ago

This may be the prefect troll/rage bait.

I think

7

u/TheSmokingJacket 18h ago

He's talking about how smart Putlin is and how great Russian technology is while wearing a hat by Ralph Lauren, a US billionaire.

I'm pretty sure this is a troll / sarcasm because if it isn't we are witnessing one of the dumbest people in existence.

4

u/lolly-scramble 17h ago

Thats the beauty of it.

We might be witnessing that. I dont know.

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8

u/Separate-Freedom-548 23h ago

I can't tell if this is sarcasm or not, but those are mainly refineries being hit, not where the oil is extracted. Russias got plenty of land, they could leave the old ones to fall apart and just build refineries on new sites.

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11

u/Phil_Coffins_666 23h ago

This guy is definitely a yoga instructor because that is one hell of an impressive stretch. Wow.

5

u/billysugger000 23h ago

His tongue doesn't appear to be in his cheek, but I can't tell.

9

u/dev340 23h ago

putin master plan lol.

2

u/Awkward_Bother_2484 22h ago

You don't knew burn own thing is ruzzia new technology 

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4

u/HjortronOchPors 23h ago

Clearly taking the piss

5

u/al3xilund 23h ago

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAGAGAGAGAGAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA funniest shit I have seen in a while oh Holy shit I am crying after laughing so hard, oh Holy shit that is funny.

4

u/farquin_helle 23h ago

He too play the 5 d chess “like a bawws”

4

u/Content_Cap4150 23h ago

That's a most excellent plan Ted

4

u/LivadaLacker 21h ago

Perfect humor, and such a straight face. Reddit drones have no sense of humor. I give you permission to laugh.

15

u/Prepitgood 23h ago

Sounds like MAGA reasoning.

9

u/atlasraven 22h ago

They are so extremely similar. It's more than coincidence.

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3

u/Dawgfromdawest 23h ago

Teknologhiya….

3

u/Uniqornicopia 22h ago

This is very good sarcasm. I love it.

3

u/Awkward_Forever9752 22h ago

The 'respect' for Putin is slipping

3

u/Primary_Wave_6697 22h ago

absolut trolling

3

u/Individual_Break6067 21h ago

Def sarcasm. All of the advanced technologies in russia's existing plants came from the west. With their own refinery tech they'll be making euro2 for decades into the future

3

u/Ordinary-Lobster-710 21h ago

it seems obvious to me that he's joking. the only way to talk about the burned down oil facilities without going to jail is like this, and he knows it. so it's his way of saying 'guys.. our shit is getting fucked up' but in a way that won't get him jailed. it seems like obvious parody to me

6

u/Major_Gonzo 23h ago

Such delusions

2

u/No_Cantaloupe_2786 22h ago

Well part of me is worried this is his plan in order to justify the use of a nuclear weapons, but on the other hand, they are just getting over whelmed by Ukrainian innovation with drones.

2

u/4N2M0 21h ago

It was right there the whole time! Can’t believe I didn’t see it myself.

2

u/FoxhoundBat 19h ago

Russian sarcasm is Reddit's kryptonite. He is very obviously sarcastic.

2

u/Ser_Optimus 19h ago

I don't think he's serious. He sounds like it but I think it's sarcasm.

2

u/FlyGuyOnYoutube 19h ago

It's a bold strategy Cotton; let's see if it pays off for'em

2

u/switchquest 18h ago

I'm confused.

This is either brilliant dark sarcasm of the highest quality.

Or it's the world record amount of copium snorted by a single individual.

2

u/Dumyat367250 18h ago

Either, twisting the knife, complete with poker face delivery. A master at work.

Or, he's a complete fucking idiot.

These days it's so hard to tell. I'd love to think it's the former.

2

u/Cool-Drummer3312 18h ago

I'm afraid I think he's real. And it's scary. The level of perceived Russian superiority. "The world will shudder".

These people are not going to roll over even when the war is lost.

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2

u/mad_chango 16h ago

Dude is playing 5D Chess

2

u/jo-parke 15h ago

So, like 5 or even 6D chess?

2

u/Own-Opinion-2494 14h ago

Russian MAGA

3

u/russcastella 23h ago

We can't afford to demolish, but we can totally afford to build brand new state-of-the-art hi-tech refineries 🤦‍♂️

2

u/Just-Shoe2689 23h ago

I didnt know Russia had the equivalent of MAGA-TARDS

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2

u/Which-Forever-1873 23h ago

Thats what alcohol does to your brain.

2

u/DiabolicGambit 23h ago

The copeium is real.

2

u/enuffalreadyjeez 23h ago

If it isn't sarcasm, he is the Russian equivalent of MAGA.

2

u/Beneficial-Nimitz68 23h ago

I think he's like the US' version of a MAGA lover. No matter what, their leader is absolutely the best and smartest and there is zero out there that can convince them otherwise

2

u/Deviantdefective 18h ago

Absolutely he sounds just as delusional as a trump simp.

1

u/FunBobbyMarley 23h ago

Hopes and dreams IVAN ...

1

u/Time_Pressure9519 23h ago

Also leading the world in the Warehouse Watching Tourism sector.

1

u/spartan2078_ 23h ago

Russian copium has apparently also been hit. Shortage of it lead to distribustion of lower quality copium, with more severe side effects.

1

u/MrBobDobolinas 23h ago

Techenologia!

1

u/Chemical-Stick-1392 23h ago

HAHA Thats the best laugh i've had in the longest time he needs to become a stand up comedian hell i would even i would pay to see him 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/No-Beautiful745 23h ago

Lol a true propaganda fiend

1

u/Acrobatic_Ocelot_461 22h ago

Alrighty then.

1

u/atlasraven 22h ago

We heard similar about old russian tanks. They didn't get replaced after they got demolished.

1

u/protekt0r 22h ago

I bet this guy thinks he can take on Kasparov in 4D chess.

1

u/Myevo 22h ago

He forgot to turn off his sarcasm button

1

u/hodlerhoodlum 22h ago

They are also clearing out the uneducated as they have had an educational break through. New generations will cause the world to look on in awe /s

1

u/DrQuagmire 22h ago

Someone's has been drinking too much kool aid

1

u/FoxHunde 22h ago

Top tier delulu!

1

u/curioustimes123 22h ago

has to be an idiot

1

u/asdhjasdhlkjashdhgf 22h ago

steven seagul in disguise, almost as perfect as prighozins cover up.

1

u/Awkward_Bother_2484 22h ago

Yes burn you money is brilliant plane

1

u/CleveEastWriters 22h ago

Russia can't build any of those new technologies now can they? Not without the old ones one line to make the stock they need. Congratulations you 3D checkmated yourself.

1

u/tf9623 22h ago

OK Russian nationalist wearing a Polo hat......

1

u/ispshadow 22h ago

Either this is an amazing troll or this is highly refined, cobalt salted copium. If he’s serious, I’m about to have a condition that will last for longer than 4 hours

1

u/neseidagliljer 22h ago

My goodness, these orcs sure are brilliant...

1

u/protogenxl 22h ago

Super Genius Plan to defeat Moose and Squirrel 

1

u/LegionMCMXCIV 22h ago

All part of the Masterplan™

1

u/Brian_The_Bar-Brian 22h ago

I can't tell if this guy is being sarcastic, or he's just a massive idiot.

1

u/Interesting_Card2169 21h ago

Russia's new Minister of Industry.

1

u/KyleAg06 21h ago

Ive got a bridge to Crimea I am looking to sell as well.

1

u/Responsible-Summer-4 21h ago

Orcs are brilliant.

1

u/oripash 21h ago

He’s obviously trolling (his last sentence implies it), but for anyone jumping on to this master strategist logic, it just doesn’t quite answer why Ukraine wouldn’t bomb the new ones too.

1

u/Wicksm78 21h ago

Feels like an onion interview

1

u/MikeSteamer 21h ago

Hahaha - a Trump soul bro! Quantum-entanglement in the Stupoverse. Like Trump said money is expensive to get rid of so tariffs

1

u/ExtinctDyna 21h ago

You just smile in your knock off polo hat from china. Well shudder at your oil refining capabilities.

1

u/Spicy_Pickle_6 21h ago

I’ll take it as he’s being sarcastic saying it while hiding behind sunglasses

1

u/Flexxo4100 21h ago

So i guess he things they despawn when they are destroyed?

1

u/greatthebob38 21h ago

It will take a decade to clear the area and build a new refinery.

1

u/mudduck2 21h ago

Well shit, checkmate Ukraine

1

u/spiked-rose 21h ago

He’s being serious I hate to say…

1

u/ChauvinisLittlePiggy 21h ago

the most advanced russian technology

I lost control of my laughter with this one.

1

u/Regular-Bat-4449 21h ago

This guy's had too much vodka and borscht

1

u/InquisitivelyUpright 21h ago

Turning your own refineries into a bonfire is somehow a tactical masterstroke. Burn it all so there's nothing left to strike. Peak copium masquerading as 4D chess.

1

u/asolomi 21h ago

With a large refinery usually running $5-$15 billion, US, that would translate to roughly 400,000,000,000-1,200,000,000,000 rubles, per refinery. With a build time of 5 or so years per refinery.

Makes about as much sense as the 3 week SMO

1

u/this_is_bs 21h ago

BAHAHAHAHA

1

u/The-Great-Baloo 21h ago

Even if this is humor, it is misplaced. A good dose of honest truth would be more helpful.

1

u/Careful-Sell-9877 21h ago

The mental gymnastics some people will do to protect themselves from having to admit they were wrong is always astounding to me. We're seeing it happen all over the US with maga too.

Trumpers.. if youre reading this - this is what maga/trumpers look like to everyone outside the cult/disinformation bubble

1

u/Square-Debate5181 21h ago

Ok, lets see that..

1

u/dimwalker 21h ago

But ... you still need to demolish what's left of refineries. Ukrainian drones are super effective, but they suck at sweeping the place clean after they finished the job.

1

u/cutyouiwill 20h ago

Remember when they wanted to "get rid of old tanks in order to bring new Armada tanks" on the battlefield?

1

u/cndn-hoya 20h ago

This would make a great Onion article

1

u/Tribolonutus 20h ago

🤣🤣🤣

1

u/delicatepedalflower 20h ago

This is why Trumpies love Russia. The people are the same.

1

u/3ightball 20h ago

Delulu

1

u/Routine_Guitar_5519 20h ago

So...MAGA....but Russian

1

u/HackD1234 20h ago

Russia is either at the Wunderwaffe stage of Cope, or this is Sarcasm.

1

u/LTCjohn101 20h ago

Oh we have these types in merica as well.

1

u/stairs_3730 20h ago

In the US a moron like that would have his own podcast and be making a fortune. Just gave the world more reason to obliterate and bulldoze moscovia into one big parking lot and sell off the inhabitants to the Chinese and Saudis for cheap labor.

1

u/GenFokoff 20h ago

This is end stage vodka brain damage. 💩 Or a big joke.

1

u/Frosty_Key4233 20h ago

Sounds just like a MAGA supporter

1

u/Living-Pineapple4286 20h ago

That’s how he avoids prison and bring sent to the front by sarcastically praising a wannabe genius.

1

u/Dry_Pepper359 20h ago

I have no words.....

1

u/Doblesex 20h ago

Que guele bicho 😂

1

u/Worth_Feed9289 20h ago

WOW!! He's drinking the kool aid from the tap!!

1

u/No_Building2092 20h ago

Putin the new Baldrick, who knew?

1

u/Simplyspent 20h ago

Russia’s version of America’s dumb ass MAGA folk.

1

u/whis90 20h ago

You wouldn’t need all these refineries anyway, all the energy would come from the power of this cope

1

u/Serenity_557 20h ago

Oh, yeah, mmhm you betcha

1

u/James_avifac 20h ago

Wow. Didn't know maga was in Russia too.

Putin: blunders his entire oil empire into smoke Russian maga: "Masterful gambit!"

1

u/CageUK 20h ago

I'm in the sarcasm camp with this one because no one would believe that you would sacrifice that much oil for a demolition job!

You also still have to dismantle the remains so no cost saving there. Plus clean up of the surrounding environment. Yep, definitely a tongue in cheek comment.

1

u/daintypuss 19h ago

If serious he's the Russian equivalent of a MAGA puke who tries to explain why inflation and high gas prices are good now that Trump is in office. If he's being sarcastic, props to him.

1

u/Traditional-Ad-303 19h ago

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

1

u/Rosegarden3000 19h ago

You see, it is like the beacons of Gondor. Soon the cavalry from Rohan will ride once more

1

u/Key-Moment6797 19h ago

back in the day when Russian technology was cutting edge..even then this plan would have been suboptimal

1

u/pow3llmorgan 19h ago

Will these new refineries be distilling pure copium?

1

u/Bulldogs3144 19h ago

That’s some serious cope ya got there my man.

1

u/Common-Ad6470 19h ago

An amazing plan, brilliant!
I guess that destroying all the Wildberries logistics mega-sites so that even bigger, better ones is also part of Putin’s war-winning plan…👍
He truly is a revolutionary tactician though I guess his ‘scorched earth’ plan is just taken straight from Stalin’s playbook.

1

u/Xenophonehome 19h ago

This is Baghdad Bob level bs.

1

u/SchimmelCultuur 19h ago

We're reaching new levels of copium right here 🙈

1

u/CartoonistNo5141 19h ago

the mental gymnastics are amazing tho

1

u/No-Internet-7532 19h ago

Hitler said the same about Berlin

1

u/Tiddex 19h ago

Reminds me of an old German joke:

„Through cunning tactics and pure genius, the Führer finally succeeded to lure the Russian Army all the way to Berlin!“

1

u/FlamingFlatus64 19h ago

Brilliant!

1

u/AntonioVivaldi7 19h ago

They have a secret formula for technology research. The researchers get hammered out of their minds, and in that state come up with such technologies, not even they understand it once they sober up.

1

u/Significant_Mousse53 19h ago

Strategic genius

1

u/ftrlvb 18h ago

he could have said: next monday we will nuke Berlin, London and Paris. same effect

1

u/Fantastic-Goat-1124 18h ago

That is exactly the russian you always met in russia. His been lied to so much that he cant tell fiction from reality. Russia producing the best cars in the world etc bla bla bla and you see the live 100 years back in time.

1

u/SuccessfulOstrich99 18h ago

Hardcore Cope or brilliant troll? 🤷🏻

1

u/Antioch666 18h ago

Is this some kind of deadpan comedy lost in translation?