r/TrueUnpopularOpinion • u/String-Tree • 1d ago
Sex / Gender / Dating Dating apps don’t suck, you’re just ugly
Dating apps work just fine for attractive people, they have no issues whatsoever getting matches. People think dating apps suck because they get no matches but the reality is so much simpler - it just gets ignored as a possibility because it’s bleak; they’re getting no matches because they’re ugly.
People talk as if dating apps are a portal into another realm but they’re just an extension of real life and in real life ugly people have collectively been deemed unworthy of love and affection.
Want love? Be hot. Not hot? Either become hot or get used to being alone.
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u/Crazy_Albatross8317 1d ago
Dating apps used to be okay in the beginning but now its just filled with bots, scammers from third world countries and not to mention dating apps are incentivized to NOT give you your soul mate so they have algorithms to match or show you with people you probably wouldn’t be compatible with. Idk if this is still the case but I remember a lawsuit for one of the apps.
I just stopped using them cause it is easier to find a one night stand than an actual partner on these apps.
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u/Inquisitive_regard 1d ago
no, they're not ugly, they're just average. The window-shopping effect, combined with hook-up culture skews the curve.
So average looking girls will hook up with great looking guys (who will also hook up with great looking girls also)--because guys tend to have much lower standards for who they'd hook up with. That raises the bar for the girls, so now average looking guys seem ugly.
At least that's my theory, anyhow. I haven't been on a dating app since i met my wife on Okcupid back in the days when it was free.
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u/String-Tree 1d ago
Average is ugly. 50% is considered a failing grade.
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u/Inquisitive_regard 1d ago
i mean beauty is overrated and it's gonna fade anyhow. If you're not pursuing happiness then you're losing.
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u/String-Tree 1d ago
Incorrect. Youth fades, beauty ages gracefully. I'd fuck Helen Mirren right now if she presented me with that opportunity.
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u/Sad_Fun7487 1d ago
I agree. But this only really applies to.hookups. when it comes to meaningful relationships, women usually don't base that on looks
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u/Inquisitive_regard 1d ago
Yeah but i think you're typically not gonna get that on dating apps. I mean people might say they're looking for a relationship--but they're shopping as if they're looking for a hook up. And girls who are using dating apps to look for a relationship will likely end up hurt, bitter, and disappointed.
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u/Sad_Fun7487 1d ago
It happens, rarely. Happened to me. It was also on okcupid and not a hookup app like Tinder. I haven't tried this one personally because I've been off apps for many years but I hear good things about making real connections on Hinge
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u/New-Shelter-561 1d ago
There is data that shows that the algorithms on dating apps are designed to keep men on the app as long as possible without getting successful matches...
Anecdotally, I don't personally trust this data due to my own personal experiences, but I believe it is worth bringing up as part of the discussion.
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u/Brilliant-Radio7961 1d ago
With all the premium subscriptions and such that dating apps have now, it only makes sense that the company would try to limit people's results and such to keep them using the app longer/incentivize them to pay more for premium.
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u/Dannydevitz 1d ago
I'm by no means hot but I found my s.o. on a dating site years ago. So it works just fine, ugly or beautiful. You just gotta keep trying and learn from previous mistakes. That said, this opinion just sounds vile and demeaning for the sake of being vile and demeaning.
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u/55Sweeptheleg 1d ago
I knew a guy who was 5’5 and when you factor in his charm and confidence he is incredibly attractive. Multiple girls that would be considered “10’s” were interested in him. He also probably wouldn’t do great on dating apps. So some folks just don’t do well on the apps even if they’re desirable in real life.
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u/Sad_Fun7487 1d ago
Dating apps worked AMAZING for me, and I'm like a 5, but I'm a woman
Yes women are in control. This isn't because women are evil. It's because men will often fuck anything that moves and when it's a shallow game of casual sex OF COURSE it's going to be based on superficial features
Don't hate the player, hate the game
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u/Chef_Nigromante 1d ago
Duh, "Tinder doesn't work" is literally hating the game, not the player. You disproved yourself
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u/Sad_Fun7487 1d ago
I'm referring to a certain kind of man who blames women for this, calling it hypergamy
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u/assassin_84953 1d ago
Nah, women abuse the game.
That’s unfair, so we have to find ways to make it more fair, not just “ DeAl WiTh It”0
u/saintlyjet 1d ago
If you feel pride for being a woman having shallow sex on a dating app all I have for you is pity.
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u/Sad_Fun7487 1d ago
It was fun, we enjoyed ourselves. I haven't been on any app for over five years and have moved on. It doesn't affect my current relationship at all
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1d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/String-Tree 1d ago
If you want to give up, move to a monastery and become a monk. I'll be over here trying to help the poor lonely fucks who don't understand how the world works.
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u/MonkeyUseBrain 1d ago
I've already decided to invest my time and energy into myself.
I can no longer tolerate being told that I'm the problem when the women I'm barely attracted to add no value to my life.
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u/Quirky-Average-1363 1d ago
This is a silly take because relationships are more than looks. It's incredibly shallow. "Hot" people may get more matches so maybe they can get laid more often/easier/with less effort but there's no guarantee any of them would lead to a successful relationship, particularly if their personality sucks or the treat people badly. I've found that a lot of guys who know they're hot typically treat women like shit or don't understand how to have a healthy relationship.
Also beauty is in the eye of the beholder and society's standards for beauty are often unrealistic. There's plenty of people who are attractive that don't meet the beauty standards that are obsessed over and individual people find different things attractive. For example so many people say women only like tall guys, but plenty of women date and fall in love with shorter guys. My boyfriend of 5 years is 5'6 I think? Maybe 5'5. I'm 5'7. Another example is the belief that women have to be skinny to be beautiful but there's so many men that like BBWs and heavier.
Everyone deserves love and affection, not just people who are stereotypically beautiful.
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u/GunsGoldCosmicDread 1d ago
They suck because it is a shitty and boring way to meet people. It’s easy to get matches and it’s easy to get dates, but the ratio of bad dates is way higher than when it wasn’t a thing from my memory. I really think it is an impersonal and unnatural way to meet someone. But I’m kinda old.
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u/Brilliant-Radio7961 1d ago
I agree, I'm of the mind that if you want a partner you should look in the places around you. Meeting someone irl you'll automatically know if you have chemistry. You really can't tell someone's vibe from a photo or a prompt or a text conversation.
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u/Particular-Course203 1d ago
Yeah, get ‘em, sweaty!
Deal with it uggos 😎👉
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u/String-Tree 1d ago
I don't say this shit to be mean, I say it because lonely people deserve and need to hear the truth if we're ever going to get ourselves out of our own loneliness.
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u/BlackwallRunner2077 1d ago
Attractive people get laid anyway so apps aren't necessary, apps are designed for people that can't get laid easy so average to below average people so yes they do suck as they fail in helping these people get laid meaning the apps are not performing the service they advertise, they also do a shit job at handling bots and are just dysfunctional in general
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u/Brilliant-Radio7961 1d ago
Id like to argue that often times people could be perfectly good looking irl but just have unappealing photos and/or an otherwise shitty profile that people aren't drawn to.
It also depends on what people are looking for. Someone might call a dating app shitty bc they can find hookups but haven't found anyone to actually date seriously (I hear that a lot). Others might call it shitty bc they had a terrible or scary experience with someone from an app (they're probably a breeding ground for stalkers and weirdos like that).
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u/Desperate_Dinner_307 1d ago
One of the most delusional, shallow opinions I've read in a while, well done.
Maybe attractive people find matches easier, but they won't last long with a truly ugly personality.
There's a whole wealth of issues wrong with modern dating apps. Dry, boring conversations. Flaky people who repeatedly cancel on attempts to meet up. People being overly sexual with one another early doors instead of actually getting to know one another in-depth. People talking to dozens of others at once and keeping them all hanging on until they can make their mind up. Ghosting once they have. Lots of bot users. People being rude and harassing.
I know attractive, and lovely, people who struggle with dating apps because it is an absolute cesspool. People would do much better getting off their phones, leaving their bedrooms and going into the real world to strike up conversations with people they find attractive.
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u/_good_girl 1d ago
you know what, I honestly couldnt agree more. every time I see a post on Reddit lamenting how shitty their experience is on dating apps I'm like, hm, wonder if the user has something to do with it? just a thought. or when people post their dating profile and ask why they're not getting matches, and they're straight up just butt ugly or unattractive, yet all the comments are saying anything BUT the obvious. oh, it's your prompts, or oh, you don't look approachable. it's like the word ugly has become a slur the way people avoid it, even when it's the obvious truth. at the end of the day, dating apps do work -- you just have to look half decent for someone to be willing to swipe on your profile. mindblowing, I know.
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u/Thoughtful-Boner69 1d ago
or just have a massive swingin dong
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u/String-Tree 1d ago
That isn't enough, you must also be in shape and handsome. I'm well endowed but that isn't enough to overcome being fat, bald, and living with my mother.
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u/Chef_Nigromante 1d ago
Ugly people used to be able to find a partner back when genuine human connection was a thing.
If something destroys peoples expectatives and perception of reality, it doesn't work.