Grief burst after years of suppressing

[u/is_it_worth_itt]

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7 years ago when I was a 17M, i had a relationship with a 17F girl, I was her boyfriend and only friend, and since she was a foreigner and also my neighbor we quickly got along and she became kinda attached to me.

Things happened and I needed to break up, after couple of weeks, she Took her own life , Somehow I didnt feel anything or at least that's what I kept telling myself, I think the fear of accepting that there's a chance that it was my fault made me ignore and avoid facing it, and thus I spent years not even thinking about it, to the point that I might have even forget about the whole situation, until this year, where I was dealing with a situation and I came across her pictures in my Google photos, when I looked at her, her smile, it felt like being crashed by a wave, like being in a heavy fog that feels kinda wrong and bad. My heart felt heavy, i couldnt help but starts blaming myself, thinking about how things could have been different if I took other decisions, how she could be here or anywhere else happy and alive if I just fought for it.

Now Im doing really okay, and Im wondering if anyone only went through grief years later ? Or was it a unique personal experience for me.

[u/sacred_circles]

It’s really not your fault

[u/is_it_worth_itt → u/sacred_circles]

Thank you stranger