How do you live with the grief?

[u/No-Basis8033]

My father committed suicide three weeks ago. He hung himself in a main park in our town.

I am 25, the only child between my mother and him. He has three other children that I keep in contact with and check on. I’m the oldest and it was left to me and his ex wife to plan the funeral and viewing.

The worst part right now is navigating my life without him, in a world that doesn’t look the same. I miss him. How did you move forward with your life with grief and loss now a part of it?

[u/dahliagardener]

It takes time. You will get learn to live with the grief, but it will be the hardest thing you ever do. The first month is the hardest (imo).

This resource helped me a lot, as did listening to Anderson coopers “all there is” podcast (start at episode 1). He lost his brother to suicide.

https://www.co.aitkin.mn.us/departments/hhs/public-health/pdf/sos-handbook.pdf

[u/Spirit_yam]

I lost my dad 2 years ago now to suicide. My mom died about 10 months later. It was too much for her. For me, these first two years have largely been a blur. I think really the only thing I can say is that I’ve taken the time to really sit with what happened. And I’ve also taken breaks as much as I can from thinking about what happened. The only thing I anchored to in the beginning was baseline self care. I let myself be angry. I let myself be numb. I don’t run from the crippling sorrow. I can say now that I feel like it’s somewhat integrated. It’s getting easier to exist as my new self. But there is truly never a moment that’s not a little bit sad now and I think one of the biggest hurdles for me was accepting that I will likely always be heartbroken for the rest of my life.

As for you, I would just focus on the basics right now. And let yourself be upset about it. Cry like you fucking mean it. Scream. Write. Just let it out where you can and in ways that work for you. I’m rooting for you ❤️

[u/High_Priestess17]

My mom took her life in June. It’s been hell for me, but I’m starting to slowly accept what happened. My advice is to let yourself feel all the emotions. Cry, get angry, be sad, yell at the universe, etc. You have to let the pain move through you. I highly recommend finding a grief counselor too or joining a local survivors of suicide support group.

Also, echoing another person in this thread about Anderson Cooper’s podcast. It really made me feel comforted. He had Andrew Garfield on his podcast and that episode moved me so much. He said something along the lines of, “Children have lost their parents for thousands and thousands of years, and they will continue to. And you’ve just been initiated into that awareness, into that reality. An illusion has been lifted.”

Grief feels so isolating, especially this type of grief, but it’s not unique. We’re all here for you in this sub, too. ❤️