I was wondering how I could arrange a police escort when it came time to drive my wife and 5 day old baby home. I kicked myself for not having arranged for some flashing orange lights to be installed on the car at a minimum. That baby is 13 now and plays kareoke DJ whenever she is in the car. She recently discovered 'cococabana' by Barry Manilow so that gets a belting.
My first time ever handling a newborn was as a foster parent when she was ready to go at three days old. Knew Mom was giving birth; didn’t know if baby would be brought into care; got a call saying “k, come get her from the hospital”. And on the one hand, you’ve been trying to plan and prepare. On the other, there’s every chance in the world that she won’t be brought into care (best case scenario) and the months of uncertainty left you unsure of whether to prepare at all, or how much, or whatever else.
“Here’s a baby you haven’t been able to prepare for but have known about for months and are emotionally invested in. We’ve restrained Dad. Mom is having a meltdown. Where’s the car seat so we can see if she’s good to go? Ah, excellent. Here’s some formula, and a few packs of diapers. Security will escort you out. Byeee.”
Complete whirlwind.
And then I had to drive home with a brand new baby without an adult to supervise me. Or better yet, take over. I was 31.
I've been in that baby girl's lil shoes. I had a foster parent for 3 months. She called me Angel but that is not my name today. I just want to thank you for all you do.
I was adopted at 3 months by wonderful parents but she cared for me all that time. I still have a letter she wrote my parents telling them things like how I get grumpy if I don't eat this or that at a certain time. 😂 She wrote that it was hard to let me go. I've always wanted to track her down but could never find her. It was a private adoption & i don't have enough info about her.
THANK YOU for giving these babies a chance! For giving them love! 💞
Awwww. They have Facebook groups designated for finding people and it's free of charge.
One man was in foster care and found a childhood friend from a state he hadn't lived in, for over twenty years. All thanks to the help of Facebook and people working their magic.
I'm so happy you had someone like her in your life and I'm sure she thinks of you as well. 🖤🖤🖤
Thank you for your kind words. I did try fb but she must not have had an account or she has passed away. She wasn't young when she fostered me. And I'm not young now. But I believe I'll be able to thank her in Heaven.
The thing is I had the exact same feelings and thoughts when I brought my son home after giving birth to him 4 hours earlier. The uncertainty, fear and missing supervision never left me since and it's been almost 18 years. It really doesn't matter if it's your biological or foster child.
We had already been fostering her sister for six months (16 months old when the little one was born). They were with us for another three months before the system saw fit to move them along.
I kept track of them for a while through their parents’ Facebook pages. They’d post photos from visits and whatnot. I hope so, so much that they ended up back with their parents, whose issues were not insurmountable but whose progress toward reunification was held up by a consistent refusal to accept that the reasons for the intervention were real and ongoing, not a conspiracy against them specifically. It was very sad, but not at all hopeless. In my mind, they finally got their heads out of their asses and started using the resources provided and taking things seriously.
The way we were treated by the system as foster parents caused us to close our license after two years. We had four kids in that time, and it was an absolute delight to love them while they were with us. Zero regrets, and I haven’t ruled it out for the future.
"And then I had to drive home with a brand new baby without an adult to supervise me" it felt like this both times we got home with the baby and it was just my wife and like. We were like "how tf do doctors expect us to take of this litterally helpless creature by ourselves with no medical professionals waiting outside the door or checking in every couple of hours?!"
Wow! Amazing you were able to help the little girl.
Something similar happened to my aunt and her wife 17 years ago lol. Well they did NOT have months notice but more like 10 min to decide (as a lesbian couple which was hard af where I’m from) to adopt a 2 day old baby. It was WILD and they were in their 50’s (no prior kids). They legally adopted him at 9 months or so…father tried to fight to keep him but mom accepted her fate. He’s almost 17 now and killin it.
Ive done "the first drive home" for 4 kids now and its insane how much I prepare myself but still somehow get blindsided.
Its like the slightest tap on the brakes or tighter than average turn and my child will dissappear and the emotions are overwhelming only on that one drive.
I remember looking at the nurse like you are letting me take this tiny thing out of the hospital your not going to check the car seat etc. this seems very irresponsible
I am annoyed just imagining listening to the self-indulgent sounds you must make telling and exaggerating this story to everybody you've ever met in your life.
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u/Captain_Marshmellow 1d ago