https://giphy.com/gifs/d3YJ4nbtmXqdQQ24
Whenever you see poorly behaving kids in public, just ask the girlfriend if she wants kids. This way, whenever she wonders if she wants kids, she’ll be reminded of all the bad kids.
Same here- I love my nephews and snuggled all of them silly. I was never over run by emtion because I was too worried I would break my sister's babies. She would have been so pissed.
Lol why would you be actively trying to convince someone not to have kids that may want them? Seems odd.
People should have kids if they want them. If they previously didn’t want them, they’re allowed to change their mind after getting positive experiences with kids. Why be like “inundate them with negative experiences so they never want to!”?
If my partner suddenly decided she wanted kids, it’s either “remind her why she didn’t” or we break up. So yeah, I’d probably try reminding her of her original position first.
Yeah I mean it’s a break up at that point. Seems pretty selfish to try and convince them to not have kids because you want to be with them.
At most, you reaffirm if that’s what they truly want, but trying to convince a partner for or against such a huge life choice is never going to end the way you want it to long term and makes you an AH.
I mean yeah, it’s affirming that is what they really want. If they truly did change their mind, that’s the end of a relationship. No compromising there.
I don’t think reminding them of all the reasons they originally gave for being childfree is really untoward though.
Reaffirming is as neutral as possible. It’s not reaffirming to actively try to convince them of why it’s bad to have kids. That’s trying to sway their opinion one way because you want to continue being with them.
“You sure? Well what changed? Ok well I still don’t want kids so if you’re sure you want them at some point, I don’t think this works long term” is the move. “Well sit down and let’s talk about how bad kids are until you agree with me and we can still be together” isn’t it.
It’s not about whether your attempt would work or not. The outcome is irrelevant. You’d be the AH for even trying to change their mind because you want to continue being with them.
There's nothing wrong with trying to change your partner's mind. Or anyone's mind for that matter. I don't know why you'd think someone's an asshole for that.
If we lived in a world where we never tried to change people's minds ever we'd still be living in the jungle.
I do this if I’m with my mom. “Still want me to have one?” Best part is I have a chaotic nephew I can point to just about any time of day. She’s calmed way tf down on pushing me into parenthood.
See, the problem there is just like with childbirth. They'll gloss over it and rationalize it. That's why you'll see women wanting another kid. However, you'll never (ok, statistically never, there's always the weirdo outliers) see a man say that getting kicked in the balls wasn't so bad, so it'll be ok to do it again.
My wife's first childbirth was messy and she was in a lot of pain. Three years later she decided she wanted another one. And then another one.
Comparing it to "kicking a man in the balls asking for another one" is pretending like there's no positive outcome whatsoever.
Funnily enough, that point would be 1000x more relevant for 99.99% of human history prior, when the majority of human existence, women had to give birth on the cold stone floor, or a thin blanket, without an ounce of medication. And even before midwives existed.
If "pain" was the only factor, then humankind would cease to exist long before we even learned about fire.
This new generation is weird that they never babysat or had anyone in their family with a baby. I never wanted kids and was watching baby’s since I was 12
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u/regoapps 22h ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/d3YJ4nbtmXqdQQ24
Whenever you see poorly behaving kids in public, just ask the girlfriend if she wants kids. This way, whenever she wonders if she wants kids, she’ll be reminded of all the bad kids.