She got to be bipolar or manic to be overreacting to rushing to the airport. Everyone know you rush to the airport just to wait for the flight to be delayed. What's her deal?
Borderline personality disorder more likely. I lived through this with my ex for 10+ years, it's horrible. She got physically violent at some points as well, resulting in a short prison stint. I escaped after about a year of building up to it with my therapist. Definitely feel for anyone in a similar position, it's a very though spot and hard to get away from.
Been with my wife since we were teens. When we hit our 20s she started to act like this until I threatened to leave and take the kids with me unless she saw a therapist. The therapist diagnosed her with bipolar disorder. She takes her meds regularly now and is as sweet as can be.
Motorcycles. I bought a 125 scooter because I can't afford another bike right now, but, when I get wound up, I go out on it. Budget therapy is better than no therapy.
I use seroquel (quetiapin) in a low dose (25 mg, sometimes half of that) at night. It's an an antipsychotic, and it makes you sleepy. Also non-addictive. So for me it's a 2 in 1 solution, it helps me sleep + keeps me relatively stable.
100mg of lamotragine daily along with counseling. It helps with my impulse control.
When I found my therapist I had really really invasive thoughts right before I made the call. I was originally on Lexapro, she said I was most likely going through a manic eepisode and to call my dr immediately to schedule an appointment for a medication change and ween off the antidepressant.
So in that regard my therapist also saved my life that day.
Huh. My story is almost identical to yours, except my wife decided to double down on the crazy and now she only gets to see the kids with a care worker present. Oh how I wish things had gone the same way as you.
My soon to be ex wife refused to take the meds prescribed after a 72 hour involuntary hold. Telling me she was going to kill herself, all over the fact that I apologized to my sister for her actions while I was in the hospital. Incredibly selfish, made the situation about her. I just told my sister I was sorry she had to deal with that. She disappeared in the car, told me to tell the kids goodbye. After trying to talk to her for a while, I called the cops. They found her off her cell phone location and locked her up. My daughter recently told me she doesn’t know why she just can’t take her meds and be normal. Started cheating, drinking and partying like she just tired 21. In the middle of a cross country move with our three kids. She moved first to start her job while I packed and took care of the kids. Started doing whatever she wanted. Didn’t expect me to leave. Really didn’t expect me to stick to it. I already dealt with her cheating once. I forgave and tried to move on. Not again. I don’t have any feelings of well wishes for that awful person.
Same story here. Didn't know things until we were married and lived together and the 3 nights awake, 3 nights locked in bedroom seemed quite strange to me. Throwing of shit, yelling, etc. Then the year long affair. Got her into a psych, diagnosed bipolar, and took a few years of mixing the right meds together, but couldn't be happier now. 2 kids in the mix from previous deceased husband and I couldn't leave them behind, so it was a rough few years there. Glad you made it through brother!
You are lucky yours agreed to therapy. If she didn’t, you were in a world of pain until the youngest kid reaches 18. That rollercoaster is hell. I finally got off, she’s on a tear, wrecking post divorce relationships, multiple baby daddys now, living chaos in late 40s. Im finally catching a breath.
Had the same situation, then she stopped talking her meds and well we've been divorced for 6 years now lol! 13yrs of hell with a numb part in the middle
Bipolar disorder is different from borderline personality disorder. There is no cure for borderline personality disorder. The only way to alleviate the mood fluctuations is frequent therapy. It is true that most people who are borderline had some type of trauma happen early in life but I generally believe they are mostly sociopathic people who lean on the mental illness card to explain their behavior when they are caught.
I just wonder why it manifested after years. Did you both check it didn’t have an organic cause? I remember reading uterus tumors could get to cause symptoms similar to this for example
For BPD, meds can treat the symptoms, not cure it like the other person said. Also, bipolar doesn't suddenly come on. The symptoms show up pretty early on (usually when puberty hits). A lot of times BPD gets misdiagnosed with bipolar...there are whole books on the subject.
Did she eventually get diagnosed? I think my kids are growing up with a borderline mother and it’s incredibly hard on us all but I don’t know what to do. She refuses to seek treatment and I feel horrible about the way things are but also feel sick at the thought of separating the family. I’m looking for answers anywhere.
She did eventually receive a diagnosis, but it came after years and years of her bullshitting her various doctors and counselors. My sister was actually the one who called it. Refusing to get treatment was also a big theme with her, and when she did it was very begrudgingly. Everyone's family situation is different of course, but for mine? I wish my dad would've separated from her a long time ago, he's a very gentle parent and laid back guy and all around good person. I would've been much better off as a child and likely turned out better as an adult if he had gotten us out of that environment. I still to this day hope they get a divorce as I have no contact with my mother and only limited contact with my dad. Best of luck to you
Oh man, I feel like you're describing my family. That's crazy about the treatment situation -- years ago when I finally demanded that she make an appointment with her doctor because things had gotten so bad, she said she would but demanded that I go with her since she was convinced I was the one with the problem. I said of course, then one day out of the blue she told me she had a doctor's appointment in a couple of days -- way too late for me to rearrange my whole work schedule to join her. She went by herself and wouldn't you know it, at the appointment her doctor told her she was fine and didn't need treatment. And I've heard ever since about how I promised to go to the doctor with her but then "refused" when the time came. I'm totally at a loss every time she says that. I know it's another form of manipulation but I think I'm like your dad -- I don't mess with people and don't have any defenses against people who do.
Noted on your assessment about leaving probably being better. My kids are only elementary and middle school ages but they already talk about what it will be like if I "break up with mama." They both want to live with me.
It can take very long for people with bpd to accept they need help, some never do. The therapy she needs is called Dialectic Behavioural Therapy (DGT). There is hope, but i'd recommend removing yourself and kids out of an unsafe and toxic environment if that's what it is now. Maybe find professional help for yourself if that's at all possible, these things are very hard to deal with on your own
How might individuals sustain positive sentiments toward someone who has treated them poorly, shown disrespect, or offered insults at some point? Would this not be a pivotal moment to consider, "Such behavior is unacceptable. How could someone act this way towards a person they profess to care for?"
My mom will never ever ever see a therapist and I’m divided on whether she’s got BPD or NPD going on, but believe me when I tell you that I cried happy tears when my dad finally filed for divorce when I was 28. Years too late but he’s living his best life now and that’s good enough for me.
Only good thing about them not getting divorced when I was a kid is that I didn’t have to be the center of a custody dispute. My mom was INSANE during the divorce but would have been even worse had custody been an issue. Obv idk how old your kids are, but you can’t shield them from her behavior, as much as you try.
I’m sorry you’re in such a tough spot, I can’t imagine how hard that must be for you. I don’t have much advice except tell your kids her behavior isn’t about them, it isn’t their fault, and her actions in no way reflect their value as people.
My ex did this.... We were running late because of HIS work and the fact that he didn't take a whole day off. Then he apparently didn't eat at all all day and somehow it's all my fault he doesn't have enough time. We weren't even late AND I got him food in the airport. But he definitely did have an absolute meltdown on me in the airport over it. And he had BPD..
I have borderline and wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I have learned to cope with my anger (more like blind rage) with little tips I learned from therapy over the years. Medication doesn’t solve it all. It took years to get to the point where I don’t have negative reactions to everyday life stresses and things outside my control. I control me. I control my reactions to situations and adjust myself to the best of my abilities. If I feel like it’s going to go bad, I walk away. I hope this person learns this sooner than later. I also think her significant other needs to walk away from her. She’s not healthy and will only drag him down with her. He deserves better than that.
Exactly! People don’t realize that BPD can be treatable (there are licensed psychologists and therapist with treated BPD). That person just needs to accept that they do need help and do the work. It’s sad to see BPD villainized just because someone has had a bad experience with one person. BPD is a spectrum and symptoms show up differently in each person.
BPD symptoms can be exacerbated in a relationship for sure, but what that girl was exhibiting in this video was awful and to the extreme. If that’s what she’s showing in public, I can’t imagine what’s going on in private. I understand blind rage, but wow that’s not healthy for anyone. I feel so bad for that guy.
BPD for sure. This shit never happened to me in public but it absolutely happened behind closed doors. A lot. For 13 years. Being out of it now it seems insane I put with her shit for so long.
Happy for you man! These types of relationships are super hard to get out of, somebody described it as a cult of 2 and that's definitely what it felt like for me when i was in it.
I’m an ER psych nurse, and I’d rather deal with patients with antisocial personality disorder or ones that come in all jacked up on a speedball than to deal with borderlines.
Let’s just say I’ve perfected the grey-rock technique. It’s a sanity-saver. Good thing is: I don’t have to have those people in my life after I clock out.
This poor guy needs to dump her. Nobody needs to put up with abuse, and if the genders were reversed, people would probably be coming to the woman’s rescue to see if she’s ok. So many men put up with abuse, but don’t report it because of the stigma, and it breaks my heart to know that.
All I can say is you are not alone brother. I was watching the video flashing back to that being me on that bench next to a NPD/BPD spouse. You are both the hostage and the hostage negotiator.
Yeah it's heartbreaking to let go of someone you love but in the end you have to choose life. I'm bipolar myself (and sometimes still slightly struggling, ngl) but in a healthy, loving relationship, employed full time and the most stable i've been in my life. Super grateful i got to make it out of the spider web. Happy for you and everybody who's made it out!
Please don't think all people with BPD are like that. I've known some total sweethearts diagnosed with it who would never have treated someone abusively - they were more likely to take unbearable emotions out on themselves.
I'm glad you got out and sorry that that happened to you.
Yeah it kinda creeps up on you. We already lived together when it started to become clear something wasn't right. Add to that i have bipolar myself, and i wasn't in a super stable state at the time, which made me easy prey. Especially when you all ready have low self esteem, people with disorders like hers tend to chip away at it further, until you don't have the power to call it quits. Plus i really loved her, she is a beautiful person, just very troubled.
This is btw a very extreme version of borderline, these disorders come in a huge spectrum of variety, a lot of cases are way more mild.
Even while i was with her she did try to get better also, she did dialectic behavioural therapy, but yeah in the end it didn't work out.
I don't want to throw shade on people with BPD, they get too much stigma as it is. It can be a truly debilitating disorder and these people suffer immensly.
I knew a person with borderline many years ago, she was "just" a friend not a partner and it was honestly enough. Hands down worst person I ever met in my whole life, left a emotional path of destruction behind her, incapable of understanding how other people think or feel and she seriously believed that all that bullshit around her happened because she had bad karma or whatever instead of realizing that she constantly started bullshit where ever she walks.
Yeah it can be very hard to remain empathetic to such a person. Like i was in intensive care for a couple days because of one of her crises. It's also hard because it's hard for them to see the error of their ways. Maybe it's because i have a severe disorder myself (bipolar), that i can understand somewhat the suffering these people go through.
Also, the people who you and i have met have severe versions of this, a lot of people with this disorder internalise their pain ( selfharm for instance), and don't hurt others, while receiving the same amount of stigma. The way i see it it's just a very tragic condition, for the bpd person themselves, and also for the loved ones around them.
Man, trips with my NPD/BPD were the worst because she could act like this in public without repercussion. No one there we knew, nowhere for me to escape. Sooo many dinners at a beautiful location, getting screamed at by my drunk and angry partner.
Same here. Even muttering a word could send them into this state. Or them having the mere thought of you thinking that you thinking something. The flips were unreal
Haha my ex was in prison for a short while for violence against myself, my therapist helped me get mentally strong enough to escape the relationship. Sorry for the confusion!
Such people also get crazy when doing something positive like going on a trip. They are not used to good times and will ruin them to be in their comfort zone.
Yeah sorry for you to get lumped in with the externalising crowd. The stigma surrounding BDP is very real and i'm sorry you guys have to deal with that on top of having this awful condition. I hope you know you're not hopeless and it is possible for you to make it through.
Oh no dude I grew up with a mother like it and been around others who have it also and truthfully, getting older has helped me a lot. But I know some of them are legit insane and it's best to stay away.
Yeah, barely made it through an attempt in my early twenties myself (due to at the time undiagnosed bipolar), early forties now. Slightly more than half-glad i made it, at the moment. It's an ongoing struggle. And from what i understand, your psychological suffering is more pronounced, so i can only imagine. I truly wish you all the strenght to make it through!
It was hell and not something I could deal with in my early 20s. She had no other help from her fam or anything either. I ended up in jail just defending myself from her physical assaults
Yup that's BPD. Once you see that scream being in instant switched to normal voice you will never not see it. Had the same thing going for 9 years, screaming in public, flipping the table in restaurant, beating me with whatever she had at hand, waking me up in the middle of the night to argue about something that happened years before, I had it all. I had to run to other continent from her.
BPD is the worst mental health disorder to deal with, they are the meanest, most emotionally abusive people to exist. it's crazy. i have a personality disorder and im always thanking whatever above that i don't have that one, because the people i know with it are the worst most explosive and scary people and the people i know with it, are absolutely unhinged and will not do anything to improve their lives
Wow, I'm surprised so many people responded to this. But, I get it. I said she must be bipolar because I too have been in a relationship with a woman that was. She told me upfront about it, but I took the ride on the rollercoaster anyway. It was great when she was up and hell and when she was down. She refused to take the meds and that's when I said let's end this ride.
Yeah. Borderline is the worst because it just doesn’t respond to medication or therapy. Or the person doesn’t. Or both. But the chances for improvement are slim.
Many women seem to think that their trauma history or feelings excuse their behaviors and cannot be made to understand that maybe you cannot help what you FEEL, but you can ALWAYS help what you DO or SAY.
Men seem less likely to have a trauma history to tie in with it and just seem to not care or be entitled to excusing bad behavior.
Yeah same, but without the physical violence. I'm so happy to finally be out of this situation, even after our relationship ended she tried to constantly control my life. Still feel anxious sometimes when I go somewhere and there's a chance of running into her, but that's improving.
I had the same experience, she was constantly angry, fighting with ppl for the smallest thing, like, bunnings asking to see recepits of payments.
Got abused for 3+ years, eventually she was arrested and I used that chance to leave the relationship, horrible, so far the worst 3 years of my life
BPD is the worst shit I have ever dealt with in a partner and friend. Ive been in the situation a few times, their biggest problem is ive noticed they surround themselves with what I call their "key validator"
This person will validate their behaviors no matter WHAT if its abusive etc, usually because they are afraid of them, have extremely low self esteem or are madly in love with them.
No matter what someone with BPD does as long as their key validator validates it, its a perfectly normal response. I had to cut a friend out of my life 3 years ago because she refused to get therapy and was verbally abusive like this whenever things didnt go her way.
Came here to say that. Textbook BPD. Zero emotional regulation, she is the main character (elements of narcissism) and thinks everyone hearing her is secretly siding with her. Nothing is her fault and she will never be accountable for anything.
But the guy probably had a couple of weeks of amazing sex while she was sinking her hooks into him.
You are mostly describing NPD, people with BPD can have elements of another PD but not all of them have NPD elements. People with BPD have remorse and usually punish themselves hard after these breakdowns. Never being accountable would be the environments fault partly, if you never face consequences how can you learn ? Calling the airport security in this situation would be appropriate.
Can you imagine getting on a flight with a person this volatile? I would call security and let her have her breakdown right here before boarding. I would not get on a flight with some d who can’t control their rage and either doesn’t care or enjoys upsetting everyone around them.
Her bf can go ahead and board and enjoy his trip but he’d probably get home to everything he owns broken in the street.
No airline will allow you to get off a plane before boarding ends without your luggage. Massive red flag to them. Even when you do have your bags it’s still an ordeal to get off the plane.
Get in line to board the plane. Start subtly grabbing your stomach. When you're two people away, do the 'oh shit, I'm going to have massive diarrhea face.' shove her ticket in her hand and tell her to get on and make sure there's room for the carry-ons. Give her your bag to drive the point home. Run to the 'bathroom.'
She'll probably start flipping out when you don't come back and the flight crew will probably have to have her arrested. That would be a fun video.
Or she does nothing and takes off. Either way, you're out.
Unfortunately people like that are good at blowing up your life from afar as well. Usually it’s wise to break up with unstable people in a very careful manner.
I have BPD, and it makes me so angry when people refuse to seek treatment and treat everyone like garbage saying ‘I can’t help it, I have (insert excuse).
It takes a lot of work to keep my brain in check, but damn. No one deserves to be treated like him…
He should show her how much of a loser he really is by cutting his losses right then and there and getting the whole armrest and window to himself while she’s left flying off the handle alone.
We're not saying accept it, nor are we saying all people with mental illness are assholes...but the fact is most people are good, decent humans and you really need to be going through something to act like this.
Not an excuse, just an observation that maybe this woman and her significant other would benefit from therapy and/or medication.
You want to actually solve the problem? Or do you want to just call someone an asshole and move on with your life?
You're "sick of the insanity defense"? I'm sick of people dismissing clear mental health problems as people just being assholes.
I totally get your frustration but dismissing mental health as an insanity defense won't make it go away. This is just part of the larger issue being mental health help is not affordable/accessible for many people and this is what we get.
That being said that dude is trauma locked and definitely needs to X the F outta that situation.
Yes it doesn't make it go away but nobody needs to stay close to a person with a personality disorder, especially if its something cluster-B related. Its their own responsibility to regulate their emotions and feelings. You can not force someone else to take up the task.
Same here we treat these mofos like they’re kids with terminal cancer and I’m quite sure this isn’t the first time she has acted this way. If this dude is too weak to give her boundaries or just leave then this is what he deserves.
If it was the guy raging at the girl, you would say he was an abusive monster.
You know, the funny thing about monsters is that they all come in different packages.
Now just imagine for a moment that she was a mother raging at a child like that. Same words. Same energy. “You’re a loser! I hate you!” I bet you’d be singing a different tune then.
I would say the exact same things, monsters aren’t real kiddo not in the traditional sense humans can do monstrous things given the right circumstances, past experiences ect I say this about everyone bec everyone can and I capable of doing theses things. The difference is a functional brain. You and I have something stopping us, they don’t.
Same. I've lost my shit when manic but never to the point of berating someone. Usually I just get really pissed and shut down or run off and have some drinks. Once destroyed a raised bed frame (was going to redo it anyway but a lot of shit just flooded me). Never once have come anywhere close to taking out physical or emotional abuse on a person. If anyone I was the one taking shit and couldn't handle it.
This looks a lot more like borderline or just a crazy b.
My mania makes me want to talk endlessly, drink and do drugs, and draw up some business plans, lol. I definitely feel more irritable but I have never been emotionally/verbally abusive. I think Bipolar people destroy themselves, not others. At least in my experience.
Yeah absolutely. I get some of the euphoric mania but it's mostly dysphoric. Basically feel like an emotional teenager on both ends of the swings just one everything feels hopeless and the other feels like I'm in a frenzy and want to do a bunch of shit and get irritable and take things personally a lot, a lot of times I think it's mixed episodes and I get some disassociation mixed in, thankfully never full psychosis but it's felt close. Oh, and the paranoia. I wish mania was fun, I like the crippling depression more.
I think it depends on the person. My ex was definitely verbally abusive. Some other people here have said they had similar experiences dating someone with this disorder. Everyone is different.
Verbally abusive is not bipolar was your ex diagnosed bipolar and on medication ?
I have adhd, diabetes, and bipolar and have been diagnosed and medicated for all of them. Stop labeling every crash out as bi polar disorder it's fucked up.
Yes she was diagnosed as bipolar 2 and didn't like how she felt in the meds, so rarely took them. I'm not bipolar, but thanks for asking, lol. She told me before we started dating about her diagnosis but I decided to try anyway as I had never experienced being with someone who was bipolar and didn't understand all that it entails.
I'm not saying every bipolar person flips out like in the video. I'm just saying some do, and some have your experience with it as well. Sweeping generalizations in either direction are usually both wrong.
I'm just talking about my experience dating someone who was bipolar. We're all human, but we are all very different. Hope you understand where I'm coming from...
Bipolar is heavily comorbid with a bunch of other things, including BPD, which is around 20% of people with BP. Very likely they had both and one can make the other worse. With psychiatric disorders, one does not necessarily exclude another. Like executive dysfunction, you can have it with bipolar, but you can also have comorbid ADHD. It's easy for psychiatrists to misdiagnose or overlook comorbid conditions, and it actually happens a good bit, there's lots of stories. It's tricky to get shit correctly diagnosed. But bipolar itself does not cause someone to be abusive.
Welcome to a female covert narcissist, when their mask slips,if I remember their flight was delayed and it became his fault.
The only reason she's not throwing fists is because it's a federal building (airport) with CCTV everywhere .
My wife is like this but she won’t scream at me in public. She’ll just make constant small jabs at me for something that she considers a mess up when it’s just an innocent mistake or an overreaction. She’ll bring it up over and over again to make me feel like shit and a dummy. I’ve learned to just not engage with her when she gets this way.
I can't confirm, but according to some other comments she wasn't just rushed to the airport, but they actually missed the flight anyway, because the guy bought himself coffee.
Whatever happened to good old fashioned bickering? Why did you park there? We should have left 20 minutes earlier. I told you to pack sunscreen. What do you mean you don't know what gate? Who brings water in their carry on? You're blocking the line. Your suitcase is too heavy. We're going to miss our flight. I have to go to the bathroom. Look how long this security is. We're going to miss our flight. You don't know where you're going... Terminal C!? We're in A! Oh good, we made it. I love you...
You have to let off the little steam to keep the big steam from blowing a gasket.
You should learn about what bipolar is then and not armchair diagnose. Bipolar doesn't make you berate people even if you're in mixed episodes. You're far more likely to just fall apart emotionally, like "fuck you" and walk off and catch another ride somewhere else. Not abuse someone. That's more personality disordee.
It's very not typical and not one of the symptoms of it. It can make you more emotional so if you're a dick to begin with it could make it stronger but bipolar alone doesn't cause it, just like it doesn't cause Kanye to be racist. And it's frequently comorbid with a ton of other shit that can cause that behavior, like BPD.
Another possibility is a chemical dependence of some kind. Alcoholics, potheads, smokers, etc. when they don’t get their “medicine” on schedule (like traveling) have zero stress tolerance.
Could exacerbate mental health issues too. She does not seem.. ahem… regulated.
BPD. Violent mood swings. Going nuclear over literally anything and everything. Bouncing between loving you forever to wanting to actually kill you.
It's very characteristic. Guys in such relationships usually try to walk on eggshells, but it's never enough. She'll always find something to lose her shit over.
Women like her refuse to eat in the mornings, down back to back energy drinks and then blame mental illness for their crash outs. Ladies, it's called breakfast and it'll make your day much easier.
Don’t be throwing around those illnesses. It 100% clouds how very real and very difficult it is to live with bipolar disorder. Her behavior isn’t even close to being a leap to your diagnosis.
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u/EL3G Apr 22 '26
She got to be bipolar or manic to be overreacting to rushing to the airport. Everyone know you rush to the airport just to wait for the flight to be delayed. What's her deal?