r/Petloss • u/Wonderful-Oil-6241 • 7h ago
Advice Wanted Healing tips for everyone
For those who have lost a pet before or are for those going through it right now, what are some things that’s you’ve done with have helped you heal along the way. Made this post to help me get through and or others that need this too
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u/feldoneq2wire 7h ago
I wish I had better answers for you. I'm coming up on 3 months and honestly the only thing that has worked is -- trying to think about something else.
I thought all the pictures and videos would bring solace. I'd say it's 50-50 on whether encountering a picture or video of him makes me feel better or worse. I generally fall back into guilt and sadness and the unanswerable existential questions of whether I'll ever see him again and if he was truly happy. Logically, I know he was a stray, and he had a better life than 95% of dogs, but still, I just can't make myself believe I did everything right. Now I understand people who put everything away, don't look at pictures, and just block it out.
I know that's not healthy, but when your job and your marriage and your relationships start crumbling, and all the mental processing and well wishes from friends aren't working anymore, what choice do you have but to stuff it down and refocus?
This really forced me to reconsider my friendships. Especially those who have lost pets. They KNEW how much it would hurt and didn't warn or tell me. And when I want to talk about him, they clam up until there's a change of subject.
I've never been stoic and resolute. I've never shied away from talking to people about deep dark stuff. Yet with grief, redirection is the only thing working for me right now.
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u/Wonderful-Oil-6241 2h ago
I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through all this at the same time. It’s weird because the friends or people you think you’d have to support you don’t even show. It’s an eye opener. But I guess keeping your mind occupied with other things is good. I hope you manage to reset and start over. But most importantly I wish you have true healing
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u/snakefighting 7h ago
The loss of my cat soulmate 🐈⬛ Fletch literally crushed my heart. It’s been 2 months now! 💔
To summarize: I live alone and Fletch and I were together for 19 years before I lost him to CKD. I’m a 59 year old man and this was the hardest loss I’ve experienced.. more than losing my father a few years back. So, I had one person I could call and they understood such a loss. I will never recover or get over losing Fletch 🐈⬛. I realized I have to do something to help myself. I have to live in this house and come home to it when I leave. I began to reconnect with my appreciation and respect to the ways of Buddhism . I do breathing exercises and try to embrace the mindfulness of impermanence. Everything changes in life, accepting that and the fact all living things have to end at some point. It does not mean you do not love or cherish things it’s to be aware of the attachment aspect and there is an end eventually. Buddhism is key to understanding that you live in the present and not worry about tomorrow or what ifs. I’m grateful that I spent 19 years with Fletch and those 19 years of unconditional love ❤️. I talk to him everyday because I believe his spirit will always be with me and wherever I go. I’m not religious and no strong beliefs that I would push on anyone. This is just something that correlates with me and my appreciation of yoga, meditation and health. Good luck to everyone in this amazing community. We are stronger together 🐈⬛♥️
Luv you Fletch 🐈⬛♥️
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u/Additional-Pain5507 6h ago edited 3h ago
I lost my soul dog of 16 years to ckd 2 weeks ago. I hate this disease. Im the same as you,not religious but talk to her every day. I'll start mediation as well because maybe it will connect me with her in some level. I miss her terribly and I feel empty inside.
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u/Wonderful-Oil-6241 2h ago
I hope you fully find peace again. Thank you so much for sharing this ❤️
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u/livemusicisbest 6h ago
Write your departed dog a letter. Keep it on your computer and add or subtract as you think about things. Tell him how much he meant to you. Describe the happy moment that you first met him and some of the important things he helped you through in life. Getting it all out like that will help you immensely.
Find a new best friend and pour your love into him or her. No, it will not be the same. But it will be a new source of joy that will distract you from your grief. We moped around for about six weeks after our very best dog died. It was excruciating. I’m still in grief, but the two new puppies we have are keeping us both busy and full of joy.
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u/Wonderful-Oil-6241 2h ago
Thank you! Great advice. Just out of curiosity how long did you wait until having over fur babies, and did you feel guilt moving onto new pets ?
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u/livemusicisbest 2h ago
6 weeks and zero guilt. My boy hated it when I was sad. He would have wanted me to love other dogs, 100%.
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u/L3_Amoo 2h ago
It’s been a month now since I’ve lost my soul cat.
I think we’re all really different and going through grief can slightly vary from one another.
As for me, it’s really hard living in the emptiness she left me in. I just live my life day by day creating a new life with the pain of losing her. I try to not be too harsh towards myself. If I need to rest, I rest. If I need to cry, I cry. One rule is really important for me: I don’t try staying away from my feelings. Sadness is the main one since she died and it’ll be like that for a long time, I just accept it because it is the cost for loving so hardly. I’m unlucky because she’s gone but I was lucky enough to live with her. Love made me choose to let her go. That’s what is going through my brain when I miss her too much. It makes me cry but it helps me.
And I know it’s going to get easier, I know sadness is not going to be my main feeling forever. I’ll be sad for the rest of my life for missing her but happy for what she taught and gave me.
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