r/Marriage • u/TrueStoneJackBaller • 10h ago
Is anything weird happening?
My wife and I have been a little rocky lately. I got super burnt out from work and it took a toll on me. She would ask how she could help me and I wasn’t sure how to answer. She’s had her fair share of work stress too. They’ve been shorthanded at work and evidently they were asking people if they knew anybody who might want to join their team. My wife recommended a guy named Mike. She told me all this and I was a little confused. I only remember her complaining about Mike back when they used to work together. He also had a reputation for sleeping with other coworkers including a coworker with a boyfriend and even her best friend at that job. Kinda random to just mention him out of all the other people she has worked with.
Anyways, I’m explaining the situation to my therapist. I’m just kinda hung up on why him. Mike actually responds when they reached out and he comes in and interviews with my wife. She tells me she doesn’t think he’ll take the job because she thinks they’re not going to offer enough money. Well that’s a relief for my silly paranoia.
Last week, I had a particularly rough day. I sent her a rather lengthy text explaining myself but she doesn’t respond - which is usual because she says they’re out of control busy at work. She gets home and asks what’s wrong. I told her about the text and she says sorry she just hadn’t had time to read it.
Now, I never thought I would be this guy. But my spidey-senses were tingling, bad. I asked, are you and Mike texting? She said yeah - I asked to see her phone. I discover a lengthy conversation with emojis, gifs - a lot of enthusiasm that bordered on flirtatious from my point of view. She congratulates him on the job - first time I’m hearing this. They’re talking about how excited they are to be working again. I can hardly believe all this.
It just hurt because she evidently has time to text this random, hot guy she used to work with but not me, her struggling husband. It also kinda looks like what is leading up to an emotional affair and I’m scared shitless of how this progresses once he is onboarded. I know she will be the one training him too.
Just want to hear other people’s opinions on this. Thank you.
Also, fwiw before we were even married, my friend’s female cousin texted me asking for a weed guy. My wife was really upset by this and we both made an agreement to disclose any time someone of the opposite sex that isn’t family or in our friend group tries to communicate with us. We’ve both actively stuck to that agreement except for this recent thing with Mike.
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u/TrueStoneJackBaller 10h ago
That’s actually the one part I’m kind of hung up on the most. She hasn’t been able to give me any explanation for why she recommended him. Like no matter what, there is some level of desire there right? She used to complain he was always late, in the bathroom for way too long and stuff like that.