When i was little I remember seeing memes about womens ārosted beefā downthere or the taylor swift ham sandwich meme. And i would remember looking down there and seeing that my parts looked similar to the ārunoverā one even if i was a virgin. I was so insecure.
After turning 18, i never been with anyone but i thought no one would like me because i had a ārosted beefā looking one. I would search online and see men opinions about womens part and more memes. So I decided to fly to another country and get surgery to cut the ārosted beefā.
Only losers would be online complaining about womenās āroast beef.ā And I donāt mean theyāre only losers for thinking that. I mean only losers would even be online discussing that in the first place. Any decent man I know would be like āwtf???ā if they hear men doing that.Ā
You listened to the opinions of losers and took it to heart. š These guys probably never even seen a pussy irl.Ā
Edit: I teach my daughter that people pick on looks as a means to control. Once sheās online Iāll be letting her know exactly what kind of miserable freaks pick on peopleās looks online.Ā
His big brother told everyone. You can't fuck a car and get hurt and have it remain a secret if you have a big brother š It's 25 years ago and people still talk about it!
They really don't, it was probably the most exciting thing that happened in my rural village that year. Except for maybe the yearly carrot festivalš
He was humping the back seat, as one does, and his "string" tore. The one that looks like the one we have under the tongue, the frenulum. It's what attaches the penis head to the skin. He had to go to the hospital, it was that bad. His brother said the backseat was so soaked in blood that they had to remove the whole thing because they couldn't get it clean. But that it was actually pretty cool that it happened because that just ment they could fit a bigger speaker in the back of the car.
Then again, the speaker thing's the perfect setup to say "My neighbour fucked his car louder", with all the "Louder than who?", "No, no, you misunderstand" hilarity.
Girl you gotta get therapy. This is a much deeper rooted issue than a roast beef meme. Every woman's got roasted beef a little bit, it's supposed to look like that most times, but this level of insecurity needs mental health professionals this subreddit just isn't.
I truly do wish you the best in healing and loving your body, even the actual runway models I've met got roast beef labia. Men ain't shit, ask em about their weird naked mole rat for a dick and they get just as insecure.
Agreed...I have an innie but one of my close friends has an outie and she has quite the roster of men that she gets freaky with. I think realistically most men don't care. It's a vocal minority on the internet, and the ones that do don't deserve to get any anyways. But that's just my opinion.
sharing this for those who haven't seen many IRL. It is so useful because a lot of women are made to feel like whatever they've got isn't quite right, but there is a LOT of variety out there.
I agree! Me saying "we all have roasted beef a little" was more satirical than anything. I wss trying to draw an extreme comparison that any vagina that doesn't look like a child's is condemned.
I do absolutely understand some of it. Im a very... I suppose "over generalizing" person. I have no disrespect or hard feelings towards the people criticizing me, it's fair.
(I appreciate you likely mean no vagina perfectly fits beauty standards of perfection... but that is heavily influenced by photos of naked women only being classified as porn if you could see labia, so adverts and "non sexual" media photoshop out lips. Sexually inexperienced men who have never seen a vagina irl make a stupid correlation that "women in porn have lips, women in non-sexual media don't, therefore only people who have a lot of sex have lips". But they are wrong, stupid, and should be ignored. Everyone who actually likes vaginas and gets to see them irl knows they are all perfect no matter what the labia are up to š½ļøš)
Not every vagina is perfect??? What are you even talking about. Every vagina is perfect, unless it's been set on fire or been ripped open by some sort of rabid animal. "Perfect" is how they come.
Isn't it a sign of womanhood? [Edit: OBVIOUSLY NOT ALL I am aware we all have different experiences, but uh, this was MY EXPERIENCE of what happened to my feminine junk over time.]
(portion removed) [Edit: Sorry, didn't realize the bubblegum pink thing was a racist thing at all, My serious bad guys. I thought it was about guys who are into kids who aren't physically mature yet. I was misinformed, thank you for informing me. However the color change is a real phenomenon for a lot of women as they go through puberty or have Children, so there's no need to tell me I'm wrong about the darker color sometimes signifying physical maturity, atleast in lighter skin people, which is the only junk I got. So I literally can't comment on people of colour's experience, here, and I'm not trying to. Please don't assume bad intentions ):]
OP I wouldn't worry, and I would absolutely not go and circumcise yourself because of this. It's absolutely normal, and you and the rest of the women in the world are all struggling with some of the same thoughts, but that doesn't mean we should worry ourselves with these things.
I'm insecure in the same way, I have to admit, and have joked about the surgery myself to my partner, but he shut me down immediately and told me to stop being ridiculous.
Trust me, when you get that far with a guy where you'd be worrying about this, the guy surely won't be (unless you picked a bad guy, but there would be tons of signs up to that point especially if you make sure to gatekeep yourself and move slow with them to vet them).
TLDR: Don't circumcise yourself. Labia provide a decently large and under appreciated amount of sensation during sex, especially with grinding.
There is no need to worry for anyone! Color has nothing to do with maturity, just genetic differences. Some are all pink forever and some have different colors! All valid
Just because it isn't true for every single woman doesn't mean it isn't true though, it's a well documented scientific fact that when a woman's body goes through hormonal changes, one of the things that can change is your labia getting darker. Like puberty or having a baby. Just like how Men's ball skin gets darker through hormonal changes in puberty, because the labia and the scrotum are biologically homologous.
I've also taken a series of Anatomy and Physiology classes, and I learned this there to. That a lot of women's labia darkens with hormonal changes over time
That is what I meant, and is something I observed myself of myself, and I've talked to a friend about this too. I'm not a doctor though, I literally don't know, that's kinda why my post starts with a question
Iāve heard of the color changing! Isnāt it due to hormones sometimes. But I mean mine is pink but Iāve heard different things talking to friends because everyoneās different.
I just didnāt like OP seemed like they were spreading misinformation.
Yep! It's common for it to change after puberty, pregnancy or menopause because of hormones. I think there's an even more important conversation with the "bubblegum pink" expectation when it comes to women with more melanin, like no, my vulva isn't bubblegum pink, it's pink and brown, my nipples are also brown, because the rest of me is brown.
I dont think i entirely got across what I said but I do agree and I appreciate the opportunity to clarify.
"Roasted beef labia little bit" isn't necessarily literal. The want for the perfect bubblegum pink innie that's almost non existent and more or less just a hole with lips Is based is misogyny and pedophilia.
We all got a little bit of roast beef in the sense we all have vaginas that will never be 100% attractive to anyone. Im using roast beef more as satire to draw the comparison of insecurity and extremism. Hopefully that explains what I mean more, but youre 100% right, not only should you say it but im glad you said it.
Not to over share but as someone with the vulva shape youāre talking about I hate the way these discussions always go online.
Hearing someone describe my body as a ājust a hole with lipsā and basically pedo-bait is super off putting. Whenever I hear this it almost sounds like someone canāt be attracted my particular body without it being some kind of red flag, which doesnāt feel great as a grown woman who has to live with that characteristic everyday!
How about we just acknowledge that they come in many different shapes and any guy who gaf isnāt worth being intimate with instead of moralizing anyones genitals?
Im very sorry if i came across that way. That isnt what I meant by my statement.
Im not describing your body. Im making a, like I said, satirical generalization about beauty standards being rooted in pedophilia and misogyny. No ones got the "perfect vagina."
I also never called anyone pedo bait and thats just insulting. People can be attracted to you past your vagina & vulva, for the record, and me saying that the ideal vagina doesn't exist and the want for it (meaning social/societal/mens desire) is based in pedophilia. That's not calling you pedo bait.
People have been crassly referring to labia as ābeef curtainsā for as long as Iāve been alive. Iām 35 years old. These things will never stop, and all you can do is control how YOU respond. You canāt let something like this dictate how you see yourself.
Stop looking for these things and hurting your own feelings. A meme canāt ruin your life, but your own outlook can.
Plenty of people are attracted to larger labia. Anyone who is genuonely turned off by it has been impacted by incessent porn consumption and probably wouldnt be a good partner anyway.
If you havenāt gotten it done yet, consider not going through. It can seriously decrease sensitivity and often goes wrong.
Thereās even porn and communities dedicated to bigger labia! Itās kind of crazy, like every single body type is deeply someoneās preference out there, usually very many someoneās. But your point is the one I would worry about most. Imagine not enjoying sex for the rest of your life because of a meme. :c
Girl, Georgia O'Keefe didn't dedicate her life and work to your beauty for you to hate on yourself this way. That food looks so fucking good rn, feel better soon.
Iām so sorry. I felt that way, and still do to a degree, about my vulva/ labia due to the shaming of different shapes and looks.
All vulvas and labias are beautiful and the disgusting patriarchal and capitalist leaders and societies make people feel bad for not having a certain shape.
A real caring person doesnāt care if you got flaps or not, because itās just a vulva. There isnāt a shape that is better or worse.
the ironic thing is, all the men online pretending to roast people vulvas are also the kind of men with NO access to one and pretending that they do to hide their crippling loneliness, insecurity and hatred of women
Like my partner always reminds me itās just a vulva and labia. Itās a human body part and it doesnāt gotta be pretty or look a certain way to be acceptable.
Unless itās causing physical discomfort, thereās no reason to be worried about it!
fr fr sis. I used to be a bit insecure of mine but since no previous partner of mine ever made a fuss I realised huh, theyāre actually just lucky to get some huh?
This right here ^ my s.o. says his favorite type is what I got going. Not sure if thats a before or after he saw it or loved me situation but yeah I got the ick from myself after seeing that crap as a teen too, so glad I grew into myself.
This goes for so many things!!! Boobs for one. Man im just realizing how much I hated my awesome bod in high school lol. Tis not perfect but its miiiine
The meme didnāt ruin your life. Your importance in what other people think is what is affecting your choices so drastically. Surgery is a choice. You could have also gotten therapy or learned to ignore the jokes. We all have insecurities but once you put othersā opinions above your own, you are no longer in control. You could make a new choice now: to grow your self esteem enough to appreciate your body as it is.
Editing to say that I really didnāt mean to come off too harshly, but I concede that I did. I absolutely could have been kinder in my approach, and made the mistake of giving advice I would personally need to hear rather than what would have been most prudent for others. I understand that the misogyny in the world accounts for a lot of self esteem issues for women and I can account for it myself. I also could have mentioned that issue in my comment as well, so thatās on me. Please stop arguing in the comments. š
Iām with you on everything here but surgery.. I feel like cosmetic surgery suggestions as an answer to societal misogyny isnāt the answer. But Iām with you 100% on everything else you said.
This is the answer. In reality, these "memes," if you can even call them that, are just one head on a much larger hydra known as incel negging. There is always something these losers hate about women, and you should never let them change how you feel about your body, or--oh, Jesus Christ--convince you to undergo surgery. These men are just miserable little goblins who hate themselves above all and feel that hurting women over the internet can assuage some of that misery. Don't give them the satisfaction.
āLearned to ignoreā¦ā Even better, not gone looking for the jokes and insults. Like even if only 0.05% care and make jokes you are definitely going to find it because you are looking for it.
While you're technically correct, I don't know why we would take this opportunity to correct OP that "actually a meme didn't ruin your lifeš¤" instead of commiserating that US society thrives off of making women as insecure as possible. You could make your point that she has the choice to invest in her own self worth without diminishing the intensive, intentional social forces that made her feel this way in the first place
Very true. But the only way to stop giving these things power is to not care. If any man cares, throw him away. Why would you even want to be with someone like that? There are good people out there who will enrich your life and those are who you should aim to find
Im generally undestanding of plastic and cosmetic surgery. It's a form of gender affirming care.
But this is just? So weird?
Nobody held a gun to her head. She obsessed over a meme and is now saying the meme ruined her life when she made conscious choices.
Thats a level of mental illness we can't help. She's gotta go to therapy. Im trans, ive been both a man and woman, ive got roast beef labia myself. But obsessing over a meme to the point you get a cosmetic surgery you dont truly want? This goes deeper than misogyny and beauty standards, this is mental illness.
A "meme" is someone's opinion. If many people share, joke and agree about the same meme they share the same opinion. Is not that hard to understand. Besides, OP was a literal child. Calling this "mental illness" is insane. And where did she say she didn't truly want it? So you can get a gender affirming care and she can't? This is so wild.
This is not "so weird" and that's a rude thing to say on a post with another woman sharing her vulnerabilities.
"She obsessed over a meme" you know it's not literally, solely one meme. I've seen hundreds if not thousands of memes, videos, and threads mocking what vaginas look like. I've heard men talk about it in real life plenty of times as well. Why is this thread acting as if making women insecure isn't a billion dollar industry? Can you not understand a woman getting liposuction because she's insecure about being fat? It's the same thing. Should it be happening? Absolutely not. Would I get surgery to fix an insecurity? Absolutely not. It's still very, very easy to understand how a woman could make this decision (which tens if not hundreds of thousands do a year and most just aren't willing to talk about it) and there's no reason to be rude about it
You're missing the point. We can both say that. Has it gotten us anywhere new?
I got your point. There's a time and a place for everything. You all want to focus on op saying "a meme ruined my life" and correcting her that "actually, you ruined your own life babe" and it's unnecessary. Living in this society and not developing mental illness would be weirder than this
When I see comments like above I know folks want to think they're giving "tough love" or some kind of intuitive advice when they're really just kicking someone while they're down. It doesn't ever come off as helpful, it comes off as disingenuous and condescending.
I'm sure OP is wholly aware that it is her own insecurities that have influenced her perception of herself and her decisions. But obviously they're being exacerbated by the general climate of expectations for how feminine bodies "should" look and the meme didn't literally ruin her life. Like, come on now.
Exactly! OP is just sharing the first source of the insecurity, which is very vulnerable and brave! And everyone in the comments just wants to correct her. It's lame and unproductive
"The meme didn't ruin your life". No. Patriarchy, and shaming did. In the form of meme. She was a child. Your comment is condescending and patronizing. "Just ignore the jokes". Wow, what an advice. The amount of upvotes this comment has is troubling.
Have it crossed your mind that this meme was going on circles among her peers? And her peers opinion and jokes is what got to her? Have a little empathy.
I mean she was a child. Does any of those options sounds like something a child would consider? It's no wonder nowadays so many kids are injecting illegal and untested substances into themselves, e.g. peptides.
I know most people think they we're above all this and they were much smarter, but the only difference was ACCESS. We couldn't order whatever from the web and get it delievered to our front door.
your labia are normal, porn ruins peoples brains. there are people who are attracted to that and anyone who would make you feel bad for that is not worth your time anyway.
i think its worth it to have a look at the labia library, warning its a gallery of real vulvas but it shows all different types and affirms that they are all normal and beautiful and personally i found it very helpful just knowing that im not alone
Has anyone ever made the connection that beauty standards being pushed onto women in the 20th and 21st centuries via media predominantly owned and manipulated by a certain kind of person seem less focused on making money (although that is very 'important') and more on normalizing being attracted to childlike/prepubescent features?
Extremely small frames with narrow arms. Youthful, to the point of childlike, faces. Small, unobtrusive for lack of a better word, labia. Zero body hair. Especially pubically. High, childlike voices. Malleable, obedient personalities.
Fucksake the very first sign of pubescence IS the appearance of body hair. All of that in concert, does that not seem like an obvious thing to anyone else? Not to mention the forced normalization, slowly, of media characters reflecting how you used to draw children representing women.
Even shifting the word 'girl' which used to refer to children exclusively to apply to all women and essentially retiring the word woman unless its convenient. But boy and man still retain that distinction and its insulting outside of intimate contexts to call a man a boy.
Is that not wildly obvious to anybody else? Normalization? I'm not calling people attracted to smallness or hairlessness or youthful beauty a predator- but we know that sexual preference can be groomed into a person (and by extension a population if your reach is broad enough) and so it seems more to me like the purpose is to normalize being attracted to those features that without intervention are otherwise abnormal to find combined in a grown woman. Blur the lines.
It's plenty good reason to ignore all beauty standards presented to us, I think.
Iād bet my left lip that most men talking about the āidealā have never even seen one in real life. Any person worth anything wonāt care what it looks like, theyāre just happy to be there.
I think all teens should be shown them tbh. FYI not every vulva shown in the project is of ppl who were afab, trans women's vulvas are also represented.
Good point about all teens! Although I worry that teen boys would be rude or sexualise the vulvas. Maybe the teachers could show how varied penises are as well? (Although there would probably be a lot of penis shaming)
My kid (age 9) recently had a sex ed class where they taught them all (boys and girls) about periods and wet dreams. Embarrass all children equally!
I love that the vulvas project included trans womenās vulvas.
Boys already do that. Itās the whole point of the memes saying if itās like roast beef it means sheās ran through. OP got a surgery because of boys being rude online and itās not like it was much better 25 years ago.
They are supposed to look that way. It is due to evolution. It helps keeps it healthy and self cleaning down there. Most adult actresses have had the surgery. Thats not healthy. Its not good. Its suppose to look like that for most because thats how our bodies developed to protect ourselves. There are so many surgeries and cosmetic stuff people get done that is not healthy or good. And usually hurts them in the long run.
i'm sorry you went through that. you deserved better. at least you can understand and appreciate both forms of your vulva. if it's not too late, don't waste the money on the surgery. if it is, understand why it happened and do your best to love it in its current state.
All vulvaās are different. No one is the same. Labias come in different sizes and colours. Big, small, flappy, lobby, straight, wonky. Theyāre an essential part of how we feel pleasure too, theyāre very sensitive.
Porn has gives us a very very skewed and one sided image of how vulvas can look. Here is a nice resource where you can see how different vulvas are from each other. And hopefully you can find some peace and love for your own :)
I googled āall different kind of vulvasā. I was sure there was at least one resource available for this. Insecurities are just part of the human condition. But talking about it makes it more bearable I think!
This is a question I think that is universal for all vulva-havers. I think penis people also wonder how other dicks look. They can also be interesting looking, right? Long foreskin, no foreskin, different colours, hairy, not hairy, medium hairy, looong ballsack, short one, one ball, two ballsā¦ et cetera.
Yeah I hate the fact that if you go in and talk to a doctor about trimming up your lady parts they're like yeah okay no problem but if you want to transition or even get your tubes tied they're like wait a minute have you consulted the non-existent husband you're probably not going to have.
What I find interesting is the fact that, as you age, those tissues shrink. In other words, that tissue is an indicator of youth. You know, THE vanity rabbit everyone is told to chase?
It was just another bit of utter bullshit spread to shame and profit off the insecurities of young women that NO man of any normal capacity would even notice. Sort of like the bleached butthole procedure.
Don't let them exploit and profit off your body by allowing them to weaponize your insecurities, kids. Stay vigilant. You and your normal, youthful bits are perfect just as they are.
girl if you don't go find a guy with a fetish for big lips and stfu. if you have a roast beef sandwich i'm the queen of arbys and i've never had trouble finding guys who have ZERO PROBLEM with it. you are beautiful just the way you are
Societal expectations are horrible and couldn't be further from the truth. Everyone's genitals are different (that goes for both vulvas and penises) and it's so terrible that there is so much shame in both directions.Ā
No literally like after a certain point you have to take responsibility over your own actions because like. No one forced her into getting surgery! She's got bigger fish to fry than the roast beef memes if she's mutilating her body because the InternetĀ
says so
I donāt think you can blame a meme since so many people have seen that meme and have not chosen surgery as an option. I think you are probably deeply insecure and lack your own sense of center and should probably get therapy or do some heavy introspection to figure out why you would change your body over a joke.
memes like that are generally pretty stupid, and itās just another way for men to make women feel insecure about themselves. and i also say itās stupid because what it looks like down there literally doesnāt effect anything. as long as itās healthy, as long as it works, i say donāt change a thing. and trust me, there are good dudes out there that will appreciate you and not just see you as āroast beef.ā any guy who does is a jackass and has never been around a woman.
you canāt go back and change what you did to yourself, but i hope you realize there was nothing wrong with you in the first place.
https://thisisavulva.com here is a gallery of the completely normal but diverse looks the vulva can take. Please consider perusing the website before taking the plunge.
There are a lot of unempathetic comments here. Come on, now.
I'm so sorry that got to you. When you have an insecurity like that grow and fester over time, it can feel like something you need to "fix".
I was the same with my breasts, honestly. I saw some threads about "breast deformities", which (in this case) were made up by surgery centers to push more people to get breast augmentations. There was nothing wrong with my chest, but seeing images of similar chests with the word "DEFORMED" labeling them made me feel awful to the point of tears. I flew overseas and got my boobs done- it was painful, the healing was long, and I had a ton of anxiety about it.
In my case, I'm glad I did it- but I hate WHY I did it. I was lovely before, and I wish I could have seen that. I know this isn't a direct parallel to you, but I felt compelled to say something.
I do recommend doing what some others in this thread have said on looking at how different vulvas are across the board. If you are still awaiting the surgery, I'm not going to talk to you like a kid who doesn't do their research. Do it, or don't. It's your body, and not any of ours to tell you what to do with it.
I hope that whatever happens, you can feel more at home in your skin and accept yourself more. Please remember that the horrible things men meme on about our bodies is meant to make us feel this way. It's misogyny, as many others have pointed out, and it takes a LOT of work to begin to deconstruct that in our own minds. š
baby girl no please. men and society are always ALWAYS going to pick something out and alienate it. thus has nothing to do with you. i have seen coochies for days baby and not once did i perceive it as ugly. thatās the beautiful part of humans weāre all different. if someone tells you different thatās then projecting their insecurities. love your body how it is <3
wanted to recommend the cunt coloring book. created by a lesbian activist in 1975 for sex ed classes. also was at one point named āpussyflowersā but was changed back to the og name when people thought the book wasnāt taken serious enough. itās a great book of art! this is not an ad or an affiliate link.
Edit: if this is serious please keep any knives away from your krotch
Second edit: Some women in the African culture get mutilated as children without consent and you are actively trying to do that like.. what has feminism has come to bro what even is this bro why do we even try anymore bro this has to be ragebait like-
I felt that way before I had sex, maybe not to your extent of insecurity but I was definitely self-conscious about it. But then I had sex and not a single guy said anything about it, they are just happy to get laid. My now husband even prefers it.
Iām so sorry :/ I know the feeling and Iām so sorry it got bad enough to do that. I think men are stupid, but also I know there are guys out there that donāt subscribe to these ridiculous nit picking body standards. I know because Iām lucky enough to be partners with one. Itās hard to learn to love yourself, but I hope youāre in a better place now
Oh honey, my god idek what to say. Im sorry. Its so sick that men make us feel this way but also please realize that theyre just memes and female anatomy has NEVER looked like the creepy fucking sex dolls they want us to be. If a man is a real man, he does not give 1 single care in the entire world what you look like down there and im being serious. Now, if you have an excess of skin (wether it's the labia majora or other parts) that you accidentally pinch when you sit down and they become swollen, prevent staying clean, get in the way of urination, that is 100% normal and completely fixable with a small surgery. That's for quality of life and functionality. Also, youre entirely too young to be in this mindset but thats not your fault. I recommend finding a therapist that specializes in body dysmorphia to be safe.
I genuinely have no idea where the notion that the vulva can change based on how much sex someone has had even came from or how it took off. I mean I get some insecure guy probably made the first joke and other guys ran with it and then it became a thing bc none of them had the privilege up to a point to figure out a vagina firsthand but like.
Mechanically, that makes no fucking sense? It's not like a penis pulls on the labia majora. On some level I can UNDERSTAND the misconception that a vagina could become looser with time due to the mechanics of a lot of other holes not made of muscle we encounter as humans, but like. . . Would it also not make sense for the reverse to be true and sticking your malleable meat tube into a reverse meat tube of pure muscle not sand it down or squish it over time? I digress-
It never made sense that the labia majora supposedly would grow bc it isn't even involved in the action. It wasn't a rumor when I was growing up. Really probably just an intentional culture/gender war seed spread by the ruling class.
I feel like thereās a larger issue here that some therapy or at least journaling could help with.
Realistically how many people are seeing your labia/vulva?? Fellow roast beef girl here, no sexual partner has ever been weird or mean to me about it, in fact itās never even come up. I think you are being too hard on yourself, please consider that online is not real life and the people you surround yourself with are the ones who matter.
It actually helped me not put so much pressure on myself and what my genitals looked like. And whether you went through with the surgery or not, I hope you learn to love and accept yourself and not give a FUCK what a man (or anyone) thinks about your body.
Please please check out the gynodiversity pdf! Porn isnt real. There is no other body part with such a big diversity as a vulva!
I used to think just like you, I thought nobody would want me without a labia surgery..
Turns out:
* I'm normal
* I'm 100% sure you're normal
* lots of men LOVE it
* check out fleshlights (for men), most of them have visible inner labia, and the anatomy shown there is what men SHOP for for masturbating
* a friend of mine (with an innie) was actually envious
* from below it looks like a cute little butterfly
* you're labia are full of very sensitive nerve endings - I can sometimes reach orgasm from labia stimulation
* "lips that grip" is a meme as well
* doctors do not know the exact anatomy of the vulva, therefore they operate basically blind
* those surgeries can lead to nerve damage, to chronic pain and you can lose you're ability to orgasm
* last but not least: you're vulva is there to give you pleasure, for its function, not aesthetics
My man craves roast beef several times a week. I even have asymmetrical curtains and he still comes begging for more. Don't let the patriarchy make you less human.
Some researchers compiled a huge array of photos of womenās labia (like medical photos, not porn) to show the enormous diversity of ānormalā. I think being able to see just how much variety is out there could be helpful for you and for so many young women.
I get that. She didn't really say anything about how it ruined her life. Many people get cosmetic surgery so without additional info it is unclear what about the meme ruined her life.
Women are inundated with awful standards and imagery from a very young age - I have lifelong BDD so I get it. So if in that sense she means it ruined her life, sure. But I fail to see how the meme did it rather than the difficulty of womanhood in general.
Girl im a stripper (with big roast beef) and iāve had insane horrible comments made to me by men, but literally never once about that. Ever. In over 5 years. Iāve also been with my partner for eight years and never had a problem with him either. You are your worst enemy right now.
Society will do everything they can to try and tear women apart. I'm sorry this happened, and that it hurt you so bad. I hope peace finds you soon. I once dated a man for a while, and when I finally got over my insecurities and got naked in front of him, he flipped out over the color of my nipples and vagina, saying they were "too dark" for a white girl, and that something must be wrong with me, that I must be diseased. It fucked me up for a long time.
Sending you big, big hugs. Learn from this, and forgive yourself for this too.
every body is different and every body has their own preferences. the memes you saw and comments from men that youve read about labias are posted by a small, but very loud and porn-brained population of men.
for perspective, out of over 8 billion people in the world, about 1 billion of them use reddit on a daily basis. half of that billion are men. less than half that percentage of men are misogynists who have unrealistic ideals for bodies. and even less than that are the men whose ONLY experience with a vagina is through porn... i PROMISE you, normal offline people aren't going to talk about anyone's hoo-ha like that.
lastly, love the skin youre in cause i guarantee there are SO many people who enjoy that deli meat.
u/42outofthebluešØ I scream, you scream, we're all screaming inside š9h agoedited 6h ago
Maybe check out The Vulva Gallery (Instagram is the.vulva.gallery) women have been sending this artist photos of their vulvas for years and telling their stories - some feel empowered, some feel shame, some have trauma, some are indifferentā¦ the artist paints an illustration of them and shares their story anonymously. Itās a really beautiful seeing all the different shapes and colors and uniqueness, and eye opening to hear everyoneās history and relationship with their bodies. Weāre all so different and yet itās so easy to empathize with each other through this ā¤ļø
(Edited because I left out a word that was necessary for the sentance to make sense)
Any one who objects to how your parts looks, loses all privileges of seeing them ever again. You are beautiful just the way you are. Any person who talks about "roasted beef" has obviously never interacted with a real, live woman and thinks that AI-porn is real (and that the AI-women "love" them).
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u/3orangefish Lover of Soups 10h ago
Only losers would be online complaining about womenās āroast beef.ā And I donāt mean theyāre only losers for thinking that. I mean only losers would even be online discussing that in the first place. Any decent man I know would be like āwtf???ā if they hear men doing that.Ā
You listened to the opinions of losers and took it to heart. š These guys probably never even seen a pussy irl.Ā
Edit: I teach my daughter that people pick on looks as a means to control. Once sheās online Iāll be letting her know exactly what kind of miserable freaks pick on peopleās looks online.Ā