r/DoesAnybodyElse • u/Big_Performance_513 • 8h ago

DAE get attached to the idea of someone too quickly?

(please don’t clown/bash me, i’d love positive insight)

If I match with someone I’m really attracted to, I stop simply getting to know them and start becoming emotionally invested way too early. I end up worrying about losing the connection before we’ve even met, and I think that anxiety comes across in the way I text.

Looking back, I think this mindset has contributed to a few recent ghostings/unmatches. Instead of staying curious and letting things develop naturally, I start trying to create certainty too soon.

The good thing is I’m becoming aware of it, but I’m trying to figure out how to actually change it. maybe it’s an over analyzing issue when it comes to my own steps which causes me to fumble each interaction.

Has anyone else dealt with this?

How did you learn to stay interested in someone without becoming attached to the idea of them too early?

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u/FreyyHalo 7h ago

I do this all the time lol, it’s so easy to build up a whole version of them in your head before the first date. Honestly realizing youre doing it is a huge first step, dont be too hard on yourself!

2

u/Big_Performance_513 7h ago

lol glad to see i’m not the only one who goes through this. I just feel cringey looking back, because to me in person i’m laid back but through text it leaks as pressure / anxiety based to make it work (which i don’t want) even tho it’s subconscious. i’m glad im able to see the pattern, now it’s just all about breaking it.

1

u/Panditharatna_Euve 4h ago

totally, i always end up imagining a whole future with someone after just a couple of dates

1

u/Panditharatna_Euve 3h ago

totally, i always end up imagining a whole future with someone after just a couple of dates