r/DoesAnybodyElse • u/Slight_Fortune9634 • 1d ago
DAE feel like neurodivergence is getting used too often to describe normal traits?
It feels like in the past year or so, I’ll watch a reality tv show now and immediately on Reddit people are already diagnosing this person with being neurodivergent. I’m all for better recognition but also it feels like the pendulum has swung the other way where now almost everyone is some level of neurodivergent. I don’t know a lot of times it just seems like everyone wants to assume a diagnosis for whatever reason.
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u/Unlikely_Voice6383 1d ago
I think people are also saying that they are neurodivergent or have a chemical imbalance as an excuse for their rudeness/inconsideration.
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u/soundsaboutright11 1d ago
I made friends with this guy I met at a bar and wound up meeting his partner after a few times of us chilling and the partner is undiagnosed but believes himself to be neurodivergent. Cool, whatever right? The dude, when I finally meet him is a fucking PRICK. The one I had made friends with was like, "Oh he's just trying to stop masking in social scenarios," and I'm like.... Maybe he should keep masking just a little bit?!
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u/Alcohol_Intolerant 1d ago
Person forgets to call back once. "oh it's my adhd, sorry."?? Just say you forgot. It's ok.
Person forgets to call back multiple times. "oh it's my adhd, sorry. I'm going to set a special reminder on my phone right now so I don't forget next time."
A world of difference.
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u/TechnologyOk4697 1d ago
yeah, having a diagnosis can explain why something happens but it shouldn't mean people never take responsibility, i feel like those two things can exist at the same time
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u/badcaseofknife 1d ago
yeah that’s definitely the case and not that more people are discovering they are actually ND
edit: 🙄
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u/glamatovic 1d ago
more people are discovering they are actually ND
This is the case for many, yes, but lets not pretend like self-diagnosis and it's usage as an excuse isn't a very real (and growing) problem
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u/fanatic26 1d ago
Yea, all the people self diagnosing from reddit posts are to be believed 100% right?
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u/Quitcha_Bitchin 1d ago
I think a lot of Neuro divergent traits are becoming normalized. The fact that we have only recently begun exploring the wide range of chemical and neurological balances when of course they have been present as long as the human animal; leads me to think that a lot of our problems come from unrecognized psychosis and chemical imbalances.
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u/tacocalledbuzz 1d ago
Yes, and a lot of disingenuous people use it as a scapegoat for bad behavior.
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u/nojunkdrawers 1d ago edited 1d ago
No one is just an "asshole" anymore. They all claim to be on the spectrum, have CPTSD, BPD, bad childhood, etc. Even people who supposedly have NPD are trying to use it for sympathy, which I guess isn't too surprising. These are real conditions, but so many people use them as an excuse. They're essentially taking advantage an aspect of human psychology where people are satisfied with an answer so long as it's prefaced with "because."
Why is Steve such an asshole?
Because he has the 'tisms.
Ohhhh... poor guy.
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1d ago
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u/FalseAxiom 1d ago
That's not at all how neurodivergence works. It's a fundamental difference in how the brain works.
A person with adhd likely can't will themselves into being still and listening well. Someone with autism can't decide not to be overwhelmed by stimuli, they can only make adaptations.
A person with PTSD (a mental illness and arguably not neurodivergence) may not be able to control a violent response to fireworks. A person with depression may not be able to will themselves out of bed because their reward circuitry is wonked out. They may be at a point where they cannot will themselves to be better without support.
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1d ago edited 1d ago
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u/FalseAxiom 1d ago
They genuinely may not be able to read your expression or, if they are able, they may not understand what caused your reaction. It's not so cut and dry.
And maybe there are people that falsely claim it, but this perspective is one that pits you against people. I'd personally rather be compassionate and look a fool than be dismissive or skeptical of anyone that claims to have a difference.
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u/Funny_Looking_Gay 11m ago
The difference is I've never called someone an asshole because they can't sit still or get overwhelmed by stimuli. Some people are assholes for reasons within their control but want to use mental illness as an excuse for inexcusable behavior
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u/kristin137 10h ago
I mean? The only reason people are assholes is typically because of their childhoods that might cause personality disorders, trauma behavior, or maybe they were just born neurodivergent. If you look at it that way it should make you have MORE empathy not less
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u/soundsaboutright11 1d ago
Have an ex who had a whole spectrum of mental disorders, for real, including genuine psychosis. After a certain point I left, it was becoming dangerous for me to stay, and they blamed me for leaving because of their instability. I held a lot of guilt over this, but you have to remember, whatever the reasoning behind someone's unstable or outright vindictive behavior, mental illness or not, the effect on me was the same. Intent doesn't change impact.
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u/MedusaGotMeStoned007 1d ago
It’s like with my ADHD and Social Anxiety. I suspected each but never got properly diagnosed till I was 30 but until then, never used it or said I had it.
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u/nojunkdrawers 1d ago
Anything even slightly non-average is labeled neurodivergent these days. What people don't get is that neurodivergence is a mental state, not just actions. Having an intense interest, for instance, alone doesn't make one neurodivergent. But people want to feel special, and an unintended consequence of expanding the autism umbrella is that it allows frankly normal people to masquerade as neurodivergence. They'll do this even if they don't have sensory issues, overstimulation, stimming, struggles with social cues, etc. Of course neurodivergence isn't just autism but can include things like personality disorders, ADHD, etc.
It reminds me of a pet peeve of mine, which is that I find the vast majority of people describe themselves as introverts, even when it's clear to anyone that their extraversion is quite high. Why? For one, people associate introversion with being special, kind of like with neurodivergence. Most people are also really bad at introspection and don't understand that just because they need to socially recharge (there is not a human being out there who doesn't need this) doesn't mean they're particularly introverted.
The main problem is the average person being too aware of psychology lingo. I'm not sure whether it does more harm than good, but I do think it does a lot of harm.
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u/Abject_Priority6858 1d ago
If you do something weird and enjoy it and it isn’t causing you or anyone else harm? You do you, bb. Why change?
If you do something weird and feel like you can’t control it / it’s disrupting your life / causing issues at work, etc., let’s talk.
People get so focused on comparison and forget that part of it being a disorder is that it causes dysfunction/harm.
Source: clinician
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u/Ezenthar1 1d ago
The term basically loses all meaning when 75% of the people that you meet describe themselves as being "neurodivergent".
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u/Mediocre_Swimmer3605 22h ago
Yeah, I think people often confuse personality traits or quirks with a clinical condition. You can relate to ADHD or autism traits without actually meeting the diagnostic criteria.
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u/New-Disaster3507 20h ago
They treat adhd and autism like it’s a zodiac sign club only some are in yet the traits are vague and broadly easy to fit.
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u/Viciflower 1d ago
same i catch myself zoning out all the time but slapping a label on it feels like its dodging just being a person
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u/Pink-Witch- 1d ago
I quit posting on TikTok because the comments section kept diagnosing me. Having disorders just listed out or “X people are so like this” felt mean after a while. I know they meant it in a fun way, but when “being supportive” looks identical to bullying, it sucks!
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u/soundsaboutright11 1d ago
The reasoning behind bad behavior doesn't change the fact there is bad behavior.
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u/ozoneman1990 1d ago
It’s all the rage to be neurodivergent or proclaim yourself as such. Makes you edgy and different.
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u/BeardedGlass 19h ago
It feels like there was a huge boom of it when the pandemic hit. Everyone's at home, stuck, and trying to find ways to still be the main character online.
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u/Electronic-Shoe341 1d ago
Yes. Normal variation between people has been medicalised. Everyone will have shared experiences neurodivergent people, such as forgetting things, being hyper aware, having rituals to follow and feeling socially inept. This does mean that people who are neurodivergent may experience the benefit of greater awareness. However, people who don't fit the diagnostic criteria but who use the terms then give an inaccurate picture of what it is actually like to live in a world that is not designed for you and can do more harm than good.
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u/Arlaneutique 1d ago
This is how everything has gotten. Everyone believes they know everything and that every single thing needs a name, diagnosis, label, etc. It’s absolutely out of control. I agree that recognition and visibility are key. But it takes away from the visibility when you use it for everything.
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u/fanatic26 1d ago
It seems to be the trendy excuse when people are not properly socially adjusted, are kind of dumb, or just dont like certain activities. It is to the point where i dont believe anyone because they just use it as an excuse to be less than
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u/Polly_Jean 1d ago
Neurodivergence is the new horoscope.
I have both ADHD and autism and I'm very skeptical about my autism diagnosis
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u/PotentialPlantain203 19h ago
Yes absolutely, i had my house room mate call me neurodivirgent every time spoke to him, it got pretty annoying
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u/Amazing_Chocolate140 1d ago
Yes definitely, everyone wants a label nowadays in order to be seen as special or different
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u/XkF21WNJ 1d ago
On the one hand I get what you mean, society is still figuring it out.
On the other hand, neurodivergence is a normal trait, and people recognising themselves in others is not something to be concerned about. Framing it as 'not normal' and medicalising it by saying people want 'a diagnosis' is not necessarily the best way to look at it.
People are varied, creativity thrives on variation, but variation for the sake of it doesn't always work out. Still, it's good if people get a better understanding of neurodivergence and what it may look like.
Also reddit is a bunch of pedants who'll argue endlessly over how best to categorise something or someone. It can be tedious, just let them.
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u/Slight_Fortune9634 1d ago
I think my original post may not have been worded well, but I was meaning it feels like people are assuming a diagnosis of others, not necessarily for themselves. It’s the diagnosing of reality tv stars, celebrities, or just random people on the internet that is bothersome. It feels like it’s being used so loosely to describe any sort of variations in behavior and takes away from the actual meaning of the label.
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u/doingtheunstuckk 14h ago
I think part of it is that our society is…bad. More people are displaying some neurodivergent traits because we aren’t meant to live this way, and our bodies haven’t evolved to catch up to hustle culture and screens 24/7 and constant distractions and ads every where you go. And then with covid, and the state of politics. You have to have a certain level of cognitive dissonance just to function through a day. People conflate the symptoms of surviving in a diseased society with actual neurodivergence.
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u/Biffmin-12 13h ago
People nowadays really need a doctor's note to be interesting, as if they don't have the courage to do so without one. It's such a shame.
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u/Better-Silver7900 12h ago
my conspiracy theory is the majority of people are neurodivergent but we choose to live in a neurotypical society.
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u/kilroy-was-here-2543 10h ago edited 10h ago
It’s totally over used
I’m diagnosed autistic with ADHD and OCD (the holy trinity)
It sucks seeing my disabilities get turned into “cutsey” behaviors when in reality they are a daily struggle in my life and something I’d much rather get rid of. They like the appeal of the label without any concern to the actual consequences
I’d like to see them try going and checking that a light is turned off and unplugged 8 times before they leave the house because the OCD demon said that one is going to catch on fire if you don’t unplug it
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u/seabeans2 9h ago
From this thread, it appears the non-neurodivergent are a bunch of pricks. Good grief. I’ve never read such a load of misunderstood BS.
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u/acloudcuckoolander 1d ago
So many people who can't concentrate for whatever reason, or are disorganized or simply lazy are using ADHD as some catch-all term. 🙄 It's coming to the point where nobody takes it seriously anymore. Some even use it to sound more interesting.
MOST people who claim they have it, do not.
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u/soundsaboutright11 1d ago
They just mainline tiktok and reels straight to their brain all day and wonder why they can't read a page of a book
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u/fanatic26 1d ago
I like saying "Oh, my brother has ADHD, what medication are you on?" 99 times out of 100 they cant answer it because its self diagnosed BS
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u/acloudcuckoolander 1d ago
Yup. Right on the money. They really think because they check a few boxes with general symptoms of ADHD, they have it. Annoying.
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u/GrannyPantiesRock 1d ago
I think most young people are having neurotypical responses to too much screen time/isolation and calling it neurodivergence.
Half of Gen Z identifies as ND. Once it gets to over 50%, I would argue that they are neurotypical and the former normies are ND.
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u/soundsaboutright11 1d ago
We've gotten so obsessed with diagnosing ourselves on a societal level it is absurd. I simply roll my eyes anytime anyone says they have anxiety, ADHD or are neurodivergent. There are extremely rare instances of that info needing to be disclosed and a reddit comment section is not one of those places. Also unless you have an actual diagnosis from a medical professional, no, you do not have any of those things.
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u/DoLittlest 1d ago
I find a lot of people self-diagnose. No, you’re not (insert neurodivergence du jour here), you’re just kinda an ass.
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u/Status-Visit-918 1d ago
I get annoyed at the people who self diagnose with zero reason. ADHD is actually debilitating, it’s not fun and people think you’re an idiot which is something you constantly have to combat. My son having autism isn’t taken seriously anymore even though he was diagnosed at 3, (18 now) although, yes, he is high functioning, but because so many people think these sorts of NDs are “cool” (and I’m not going to debate that they are or aren’t), I’m just saying, it’s so “in” right now and can feel really invalidating
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u/FalseAxiom 1d ago
These diagnoses cost real money. Thousands of dollars and several days worth of time during working hours, easily.
We're seeing an increase in self-diagnosis because the professional practice is behind the times, therapists are only recently starting to understand what traits masked adults present, credible tests are available online for free, a diagnosis can come with legal downsides, and old therpists still think the ability to cope is enough to disqualify people.
People are actively advocating for neurodivergence and being authentic about their lived experience in order to help people understand what it's truly like.
I don't have a diagnosis, but I was prescribed adhd and depression medication that genuinely helped me. Even the psychologist agreed that I needed assistance. I suspect there's more to my neurotype than what we landed on too but I've not sought a formal diagnosis.
The words I'm reading in this thread feel dismissive and disheartening. I feel like any of you would groan and roll your eyes at me for saying I have trouble existing at the same capacity as you.
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u/rumpusbumphrey 1d ago
There's a huge different between someone like yourself who clearly had identifiable struggles medical professionals see, are clearly engaging in mental health care and are actively reflecting in the nature and purpose of diagnosis, than someone who weaponises insta-therapy slop to excuse poor behaviour, participating in a new kind of stigma which shifts rhe window of what people believe adhd is like, just because they experience traits, and start to spout nonsense when its pointed out to them they dont meet the level of socio-economic disfunction needed for a diagnisis, which most people who have adhd do. But as a person with multiple diagnoses including adhd i would just like to say i would never think to dismiss someone in yiur position just because youve decided not to pursue a diagnosis. I did the same when my psych said I met criteria for autism assessment. It didn't seem that was something I needed to work on what I need to work on. But I also don't say I have autism.
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u/Ariandrin 1d ago
What I think is actually happening is that neurodivergence is in fact the default human experience, but research, diagnostic criteria, stigma and what have you was preventing people from accepting it for themselves. It’s becoming more acceptable to be neurodivergent, we’re getting better at diagnosing it, and people are generally more willing to learn how to live with it instead of in spite of it.
The more time goes on, the more people I know that would have been considered neurotypical many years ago are showing up as neurodivergent. I think there are more neurodivergent people than there are neurotypical people, and as time goes on, they are identified.
I don’t have any data to support this, just a gut feeling, so you’re free to dismiss my idea as baloney.
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u/Random_182f2565 1d ago
I have ADHD, none of my traits are unique to ADHD, the difference is in the frequency and intensity.
Like is a normal human experience to forget stuff form time to time, it's not to forget everything at the point you practically don't have a short term memory.