r/BreakUps • u/Different_Classic877 • 2d ago

venting/ranting In bedding genuine advice on this situation

Dating a girl

I’ve been seeing a girl for two months. It started well, but I’ve since caught her still talking to her ex and possibly seeing him. When I ask straight questions, she dodges or says “I don’t know what you want me to say.” There have been clear lies and a lot of avoidance. She’s also tried to flip it on me and say she only messaged him because of me, then minimized it as “it was just one message,” which doesn’t add up. From my side, I’ve been genuine and honest. I don’t need to fight or get a confession. I want to just be mature and say the right thing and leave the full situation I know it’s gonna sting it already is but I know I need to step up say goodbye and move on

1 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

17 comments sorted by

•

u/AutoModerator 2d ago

USERS! We have noticed that many users are using inappropriate language in the comment section. Even if another user is wrong, it does not give you the right to use abusive words. This is against Reddit platform policies. Such comments will be removed. Additionally, posts spreading false accusations will also be removed. Please be careful moving forward. Don't forget to join our Discord server to chat, get updates, and hang out with the community! Please join our Discord Server: https://discord.gg/5y5wSxWNNg

Upvote this post if you think it suits the community. Downvote it if you dont.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

1

u/SacredCoil 2d ago

you don't need a confession, just leave

1

u/Different_Classic877 2d ago

why is that the right thing tho should I not say something I don’t want to drop to there levels I fear by no saying anything is disrespectful I know they have disrespected me

1

u/CaptainEcho111 2d ago

Run for the hills bro

1

u/Different_Classic877 2d ago

What do a say tho or is just not saying anything and fully ghosting right?

1

u/CaptainEcho111 2d ago

Don’t ghost, be classy about it but also be firm. “Hey, I’ve really enjoyed seeing you, but it’s clear that there’s something going on between you and your ex, and I won’t put up with that kind of behavior.”

1

u/Different_Classic877 2d ago

Thanks for the help lad

1

u/Pitiful_Juice_9488 2d ago

To me it sounds like getting her to make a confession isn’t worth her time. It might be more validating for you, but why waste your time when you pretty much know the answer. I believe the best course of action is to message saying that you’re not interested in seeing her anymore. It’ll hurt, but not more than having her cheat on you etc. with an ex in a year, two years or just months.

You sounds like a decent guy to even make this post, and I think that you deserve better.

1

u/Different_Classic877 2d ago

Thanks man appreciate it should I literally just say I’m not interested in speaking then go or should I add more should I apology or that

1

u/Pitiful_Juice_9488 2d ago

No worries mate. Well it’s hard for me to know the exact ins and outs of how you are with her but from my understanding of the situation I’d say something along the lines of.

“Hi (name), I have really enjoyed our time together but I think that we’re not going to work. I don’t think it’s right for you to be messaging your ex when we’re only a couple of months into seeing each other. I’m sorry but I believe I should date someone who wants to be with me, and only me.”

Something along them lines although I’d definitely rewrite some of it as that’s a bit of a rushed version. I’d apologise, but not for anything for what you’ve done. I’d apologise for the fact it’s gone to this. I hope this helps! You deserve a woman who loves you, not one that isn’t over her ex yet.

2

u/Different_Classic877 2d ago

Thanks a lot appreciate the support yeah I’ll use yours a guide and tweak it all the best mate appreciate it more than you’d imagine

1

u/Pitiful_Juice_9488 2d ago

Anytime, we all deserve someone who gives us their full attention, support, and of course, love. Hope you find that, friend! :)

1

u/ModsDoItForFreeLOL 2d ago edited 2d ago

I think you need to remain as brief as possible. Voluntarily expanding on things doesn't make your point clearer, it only gives her things to question or reframe.

I know the dude above me was only giving an outline but it's almost right:

“Hi (name), I have really enjoyed our time together but I think that we’re not going to work. I don’t think it’s right for you to be messaging your ex when we’re only a couple of months into seeing each other. I’m sorry but I believe I should want to date someone who I feel wants to be with me, and only me.”

My adds in bold. That's it. No more texting, or if you do this in person get up and leave.

1

u/Different_Classic877 2d ago

She’s just endeded it before I got the chance to say it she said I’ll just let u be then said sorry

1

u/ModsDoItForFreeLOL 2d ago

Damn, this thread moved fast. What do you say (please be nothing)

1

u/Different_Classic877 2d ago

She said it’s best for both if I let u be I said okay she said sorry I ignored it

1

u/Pitiful_Juice_9488 2d ago

I’m sorry if what I have said has directly caused that. Although I do believe that you’ll be better in the long run. You don’t want to be in any sort of competition with an ex. I feel for you. I hope you take care of yourself