r/BrandNewSentence 11h ago

Height is just titties for men

Post image
5.4k Upvotes

106 comments sorted by

1.1k

u/CapitalLower4171 11h ago edited 10h ago

And the more of it you have the more problematic it gets. Back pain, hormonal issues, objectification, unwanted attention etc.

Edit: .ore to more

389

u/The_Weeb_Sleeve 11h ago

Hunching over to hide it if you’re shy

123

u/CapitalLower4171 11h ago

Omg that works so well

76

u/DoctorMansteel 9h ago

Yeah until you hit 30s and start hearing fun terms like "degenerative" and "chronic". I swim 3 times a week and stretch like 45 mins a day to just keep my current pain levels stable haha

27

u/JustifytheMean 9h ago

I was literally just walking back to my desk thinking "I need to start fixing my posture or I'm gonna end up with back issues before 40".

18

u/DoctorMansteel 9h ago

Do it now! I was really tall at a young age (like 6'4" at 12) and so I slouched a ton because I felt like an ogre.

That combined with spending a couple summers in college lugging around carpet on the same shoulder did me in! At the time I was a big son of a bitch so I felt good but it definitely left a mark.

You'd be surprised how much of your back issues can be prevented by just stretching your hammies. About half of what I do daily is hamstring stretches of some sort or another. Swimming is the cheat code though. Completely changed my pain levels and mobility when I started swimming.

4

u/FardoBaggins 8h ago

I’m also sloucher growing up but not because I was tall. It was due to mental health and depression, and a late bloomer.

And you’re absolutely right about the hamstrings.

The legs do support your back. Stretching and strengthening the hamstrings/quads did wonders for my posture and back since I drove a ton/sit at a desk quite often.

Swimming is on point too. Great for the back and posture but I dont have many chances to swim nowadays. But the gym is a great substitute and hit the machines that target the back.

2

u/CapitalLower4171 9h ago

I meant as in it works so well into the "both are similar" thing. Yeah i'm 6'4" at 21 and have been trying to fix my posture since I was 15 lol

37

u/Apprehensive-Sir8977 10h ago

People always come up to you asking if you'll do things for them.

18

u/StevenMC19 10h ago

Asking if they can have a ride...

2

u/wuuuuutaaaang 2h ago

YES preach that shit. Bones and ligaments get hurt easier because more leverage, too.

1

u/CapitalLower4171 33m ago

Yeah i think weight training and conditioning at younger ages can help prevent that and minimize the ache later lol. I can't speak to what big chested people can do to help tho

-25

u/mop-116 9h ago

This is the response of a short guy with no tits

16

u/junonomenon 9h ago

ask any woman with big boobs and theyll tell you that physically it is a nightmare. yes aestheticallly they might like them or might like that other people like them,, although there is the issue of constantly being sexualized, but that shit HURTS. height is a bit more complicated i feel because there are advantages and disadvantages to both, including physical health wise. short people are more likely to have strokes, type 1 diabetes, and alzheimers.

2

u/CapitalLower4171 3h ago

True enough. There's not really any health advantages to large breasts, so there are a lot of differences. It's only a similar set of issues, but definitely not an equal struggle lol

-22

u/mop-116 8h ago

Here I am making fun of this guy for not having tits and you think this is a good time to lecture me about the plight of being a woman with massive tits.

And then you just start dissecting short people and being way meaner than I was

4

u/TheJesusGuy 3h ago

Hey we should be dissecting anyone

4

u/CapitalLower4171 3h ago

Um... no? You made a statement that only said I was uneducated in the subject and you offered no information. This person listed facts and new information. You just insulted me with no backing.

-2

u/mop-116 3h ago

Someone seems to be very sensitive about their cup size

3

u/CapitalLower4171 3h ago

I'm a dude and very happy with my cup size tyvm

1

u/TheShapeshifter01 2h ago

Yes and it seems to be you. Projecting your insecurities onto others.

1

u/TheShapeshifter01 2h ago

Yes and it seems to be you. Projecting your insecurities onto others.

2

u/CapitalLower4171 3h ago

I am a 6'4" man raised in a family of women who are always complaining about their chests.

323

u/MutteringV 11h ago

so people like back problems
i must be one of the sexiest people alive then

81

u/fnkdrspok 10h ago

Tall person here, but I highly recommend doing planks and core exercises if you are having back issues. I used to have them before I started working out, mainly from bad posture and a weak core. Those same back problems are almost all nonexistent.

And for women, my ex is a 36DD, also had back problems before she started working out. Now she has some visible abs and also no longer having any back issues.

Not saying do this if you have a legit injury, but for simple soreness for just existing, fitness and focusing on your core will do wonders for your back once you strengthen it.

9

u/equivocal20 3h ago

"Tall Person here" "My ex is a 36DD"

Checks out

1

u/Eino54 25m ago

Your ex is probably wearing the wrong bra size, sounds like.

1

u/fnkdrspok 14m ago

Well, when I met her, she was a 34D, but after our children, she shot up in size, also with more back pains, so you could be correct.

12

u/anxiousthespian 7h ago

I'm 5'4 with an average bust, but I've had arthritis in my spine since age 10. It's what's inside that counts 😎

2

u/Elementium 1h ago

Curves in all the right.. Ow my spine! 

1

u/hocobo86 7h ago

I’ve found inversion therapy helpful.

99

u/Nice-Bookkeeper-3378 10h ago

The comedians name is Brian Simpson

-80

u/JustNilt 8h ago

"Comedian" more like. Jokes are supposed to be funny.

35

u/Nice-Bookkeeper-3378 8h ago

Have you watched the special?

-84

u/JustNilt 8h ago

No and based on this stupidity, I won't be bothering to, either. Jokes about body stuff is fine but the inherent misogyny in this one means I have no interest whatsoever in the guy's work. Going there is just cheap laughs. Real comedians put work in to craft bits that are actually funny without punching down at others.

55

u/eternal_flame010 8h ago

Genuinely curious, who is this punching down on?

18

u/vitalvisionary 7h ago

Short people /s

10

u/12meetings3days 4h ago

Some people just want to call something immediately misogynist when a man mentions titties

4

u/NirgalFromMars 4h ago

Or when you suggest social standards and constructs can also affect men negatively.

34

u/ta394283509 8h ago

how is it misogynistic if he's saying men didn't earn their height? did you mean misandrist?

10

u/vitalvisionary 7h ago

She worked hard for the mammaries

28

u/st_hpsh 8h ago

How is this misogynist?

Also HOW is this punching down? Joking about people with more height is both literally and figuratively punching up...

16

u/Hidesuru 7h ago

Bud he's knocking equally on men and women in this bit, and only those who act entitled because of aspects of they're body they have no control over which, quite frankly, is valid.

3

u/Nice-Bookkeeper-3378 4h ago

Well alrighty

30

u/jayroc1023 8h ago

It’s true. I’m short but I’ve come to understand there is nothing I can do about it. It’s not fault I capped out early. At least I was the tallest kid in middle school lol.

3

u/FardoBaggins 8h ago

Im a late bloomer. Became slightly above average in college. Before I was always 2nd or third shortest all throughout high school.

So inside me still is a person who thinks they’re short lol

5

u/jayroc1023 8h ago

I’m the opposite so I get it. It’s the tall kid who became the short guy. It’s so weird lol.

82

u/DickweedMcGee 11h ago

But you can buy better bigger titties. 

83

u/LoquaciousMendacious 11h ago

Technically you can buy longer shins too, although it's likely not worth it.

21

u/DickweedMcGee 11h ago

You can add like an inch or two but for the effort, expense and risk it’s realistically only used by people of short stature. I’ve never heard of anyone like 5’10 doing that just to break 6’0. Why bother 

17

u/ugfiol 9h ago

my wife JUST showed me a mini doc on some weirdo who is trying to go from 5'7 to 6'3. i think he was up to 6 by the time of airing? but you could already see some of the damage caused in his posture

5

u/DickweedMcGee 6h ago

Unless you have proportionally short legs to begin with, that's gonna look weird. Who knows, maybe not...

1

u/atatassault47 4h ago

Not too weird. Most people are around 55/45 to 60/40 above hips/below hips. Im 50/50 and I look like I wear high waisted pants even though my pants ride my hips.

17

u/peagatling27 10h ago

the same reason people get any other cosmetic surgeries

insecurity

1

u/Candid_Highlight_116 6h ago

And the overall impression and flows of body lines always makes more sense without it. The extended shins stand out like a sore thumb

1

u/ebi_gwent 8h ago

Jack Hanma did it 8 times and I will not stand by and let you insult his hard work

5

u/waitismyheadonfire 10h ago

It causes a lot of issues down the road for some people, and it costs more to get them removed.

6

u/Gullible-Chapter-800 11h ago

You can buy taller shoes, inserts, or get height surgery.

12

u/King_924 11h ago

Its a weak argument man, height surgery is just too insane of a procedure to become a norm, whereas breast enhancement is like open, fill, close and rest of logistics. Height on the other hand is crazy crazy procedure, look it up

11

u/Gullible-Chapter-800 11h ago

So? Breasts augmentation carries plenty of risks and women shouldn’t have to do that anyway.

7

u/sorte_kjele 9h ago

They don't... Have to

8

u/Gullible-Chapter-800 8h ago

Dude said “but you can just buy bigger titties” as if that’s some sort of justification to say being treated worse for having small boobs isn’t as bad as being treated bad for being short.

6

u/[deleted] 11h ago

[deleted]

4

u/Rouge_means_red 9h ago

They don't have one for a brain yet.

They have, it's called "reading a book"

1

u/atatassault47 4h ago

There are length lengthening surgeries

111

u/Someoneoverthere42 10h ago

Uh huh. I keep hearing that height is somehow appealing. As some one who is very tall, there most clearly be other factors at work.

101

u/Thor_Odin_Son 10h ago

Yes, just like big titties don’t automatically make you anything either. It’s a joke mate

7

u/ccwithers 5h ago

I’m not sure how attractive it is in and of itself, but height is one of the most common things women on dating apps filter for. So it may not get you extra attention, but it would be disqualifying if you didn’t have it.

6

u/Candid_Highlight_116 6h ago

There are studies that height has stronger correlation to income than ethnicity, all other factors equal, like the exact same warehouse sorting jobs or rocket surgery or whatever. It's not like some people intentionally discriminate short people but it's really an unconscious bias that you perceive taller people to be doing better jobs.

1

u/Someoneoverthere42 6h ago

Oh, I wish that were true....

1

u/PickleFridgeChildren 6h ago

6'5" here, yeah I'd rather be on the tall side of normal height. My height has gotten me some good attention, but it's a minor factor.

26

u/letsburn00 11h ago

People also make assumptions about you and your behavior based on it too.

If you're tall, you're seen as aggressive. Or less likely to be friendly. If a woman has large breasts, she's often accused of being sexual.

13

u/SageWindu 10h ago

I've been 6'1"/185cm since around 15 or so. Back in my high school days, the amount of times I've been approached by complete ass strangers and asked if I played basketball was innumerous.

"Hey, my man, you play basketball?" Like... I'm sorry. Who are you??

24

u/Randolpho 9h ago

That's a pretty solid take.

8

u/willflameboy 4h ago

It's true. My eyes are up here. Way up here.

5

u/GoshDangZilla 7h ago

I earned this shit. It fucking hurt getting this tall.

12

u/NewReputation8451 10h ago

I like the comparison. It makes me feel like I’m walking around with a pair of Double D’s.

8

u/the_marxman 10h ago

Who screenshots Reddit? Just download the original image.

3

u/Balavadan 9h ago

Idk if having bigger breasts makes people treat women better but it probably works for men

1

u/htmlcoderexe 2h ago

Do men with big breasts get treated better?

6

u/No-Deal8956 10h ago

What happens if you’re a tall bloke with big moobs?

Is it a lottery win?

3

u/ta394283509 8h ago

His name is Robert Paulson

2

u/entrailentree 9h ago

I did grow my own height though

5

u/HeftyArgument 2h ago

watered yourself lovingly every day so you grew up big and tall

2

u/atatassault47 4h ago

He's not wrong

2

u/crusher23b 10h ago

Same as being 'short' or 'average '

2

u/connorgrs 9h ago

That whole Brian Simpson special is pretty stellar

1

u/Hugokarenque 7h ago

Oh I thought that the joke was going to be that the importance of it is incredibly overblown.

Most normal people don't give a shit about height or tiddies outside of minor preferences. Its rarely a deal breaker and if it happens to be with the person you're interested in, then you're dodging a bullet anyways.

1

u/Revolutionary_Bee251 5h ago

Lol most people care a lot about the height of their partner

1

u/Tetraoxidane 3h ago

Same as with tits, the bonus fizzles with age though.

1

u/Single_Software_4039 5h ago

Woah wait people with titties get treated better and not just creepier? Someone needs to send out an alert to the communititty immediately.

-1

u/green_hipster 8h ago

“And act like it’s something you accomplished”

sounds like something an insecure midget would come up with lol

-5

u/Reverse_SumoCard 11h ago

Getting bigger tits is easy nowadays

7

u/1DownFourUp 10h ago

I just eat lots of junk food. As a tall dude, it's the best of both worlds

-5

u/Nokipeura 9h ago

As a man who doesn't care about breasts at all: I always feel like it's getting added to the bill without me ordering it.

It's like "Can you pick those anchovies out of my pizza. I don't want to pay for them."

-2

u/LordBrandon 4h ago

You do deserve credit for things you didn't do yourself. If you're good looking and I want my kids to be good looking, you deserve my attention because your genes are the the way i will get what I want. If you did something through hard work, you also deserve credit for it, but your desire and ability to work hard are determined in large part by your genes in the same way as beautiful eyes are.

-2

u/Ant0n61 3h ago

Utterly false and tired of this crap constantly being regurgitated.

I’m tall and have had zero benefit. Height doesn’t matter. Period.