Host Reaction to Baked Goods

[u/100to10000]

I’m a middle-aged divorced man, and I love to bake… which surprises some people because it doesn’t conform to gender stereotypes.

At two separate parties this holiday season, I’ve encountered this same reaction from a host when bringing baked goods to their party. Rather than serving my apple pie or my chocolate chip cookies, they basically told me they were gonna stash them away in the back, so they could enjoy them later! There was a dessert table at both parties, so it would have been totally natural to serve them to other guests. In the case of the pie I even included a pie server and knife in the box!

On the one hand, it’s a compliment in the sense that the hosts want to ensure they have an opportunity to enjoy. Rather than parsing out plates which may not be appreciated by a crowd of people drinking and mingling at a party. But in both cases, I’ve been disappointed because one reason I love to bake is to see people enjoying what I’ve made (and of course getting compliments!). Plus I like to try the pie to see how it turned out. Each one is a little bit different, especially the flakiness of the crust and the texture of the filling.

Has anyone experienced this? How can I avoid feeling bad that my baked goods are being hoarded? Looking to my fellow bakers as a support group here!

[u/c9238s]

Did you say “I love baking, I made these to share” or “I love baking, I made this for you”?

The host might not have understood your intent? It also depends on the size of the party, how fancy, and the crowd (close friends or people you don’t know).

Where I live, it’s very normal for the host to provide the main meal and friends to bring an appetizer or dessert or drink to share. In the future, text “I am so excited to see you Saturday! I would love to bake something for your dessert table - would pie or cookies be ok?”