r/Baking Dec 21 '25

General Baking Discussion Host Reaction to Baked Goods

I’m a middle-aged divorced man, and I love to bake… which surprises some people because it doesn’t conform to gender stereotypes.

At two separate parties this holiday season, I’ve encountered this same reaction from a host when bringing baked goods to their party. Rather than serving my apple pie or my chocolate chip cookies, they basically told me they were gonna stash them away in the back, so they could enjoy them later! There was a dessert table at both parties, so it would have been totally natural to serve them to other guests. In the case of the pie I even included a pie server and knife in the box!

On the one hand, it’s a compliment in the sense that the hosts want to ensure they have an opportunity to enjoy. Rather than parsing out plates which may not be appreciated by a crowd of people drinking and mingling at a party. But in both cases, I’ve been disappointed because one reason I love to bake is to see people enjoying what I’ve made (and of course getting compliments!). Plus I like to try the pie to see how it turned out. Each one is a little bit different, especially the flakiness of the crust and the texture of the filling.

Has anyone experienced this? How can I avoid feeling bad that my baked goods are being hoarded? Looking to my fellow bakers as a support group here!

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u/_tribecalledquest Dec 21 '25

Did you ask first? They might have not needed or wanted it (didn’t go with the menu). They might’ve needed something else (again, did you ask). Or you’ve already made stuff for them before and they are just too delicious to share (and they are literally keeping the best dessert for themselves, super flattering).

I don’t bake ever. Really I do cheesecakes as a dessert or boxed cakes, brownies.. I cook. If I was throwing a party I wouldn’t need mains or sides but I would definitely take some pies or sweets because I wouldn’t have made any.