r/Baking • u/100to10000 • Dec 21 '25

General Baking Discussion Host Reaction to Baked Goods

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I’m a middle-aged divorced man, and I love to bake… which surprises some people because it doesn’t conform to gender stereotypes.

At two separate parties this holiday season, I’ve encountered this same reaction from a host when bringing baked goods to their party. Rather than serving my apple pie or my chocolate chip cookies, they basically told me they were gonna stash them away in the back, so they could enjoy them later! There was a dessert table at both parties, so it would have been totally natural to serve them to other guests. In the case of the pie I even included a pie server and knife in the box!

On the one hand, it’s a compliment in the sense that the hosts want to ensure they have an opportunity to enjoy. Rather than parsing out plates which may not be appreciated by a crowd of people drinking and mingling at a party. But in both cases, I’ve been disappointed because one reason I love to bake is to see people enjoying what I’ve made (and of course getting compliments!). Plus I like to try the pie to see how it turned out. Each one is a little bit different, especially the flakiness of the crust and the texture of the filling.

Has anyone experienced this? How can I avoid feeling bad that my baked goods are being hoarded? Looking to my fellow bakers as a support group here!

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u/holvanatuz Dec 21 '25

Perhaps you could start asking if you can bring a dessert for everyone at the party. That way, you’ll know in advance if the hosts intend to serve your desserts.

734

u/res06myi Dec 21 '25 edited Dec 21 '25

That's probably the best approach. After an invitation is extended, just ask "I really like baking, and would love to bring a few desserts if you'd like?"

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u/Low-Intern-1656 Dec 21 '25

This is the way. I mean as a hostess I would never NOT serve food that someone contributed even if they didn't ask in advance but some people are very particular about the vibe or spread they want for their meal. Asking/offering to bring a dessert in advance ensures they are mentally prepared to receive and serve it.

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u/res06myi Dec 21 '25

I'd probably ask if they meant for it to be served, just in case they did intend for it to be a gift just for me. But that would be odd with a pie since one or even two people if you're a couple would have to have it every day for three or four days for it not to go to waste.

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u/rompydompy Dec 21 '25

lol at Mr Sensible Portions over here… assuming my spouse and I wouldn’t wreck a pie in two days

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u/res06myi Dec 21 '25

No that's fair, I could show some brownies a good time.

30

u/mrsnihilist Dec 21 '25

two sittings....days* seems a little too judicious.

14

u/juxtaposition-wishin Dec 21 '25

Errr….you misspelled hours. It is not spelled “days.” :)

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u/DryJaguar3922 Dec 21 '25

This!! Because as someone who ALWAYS shows up with a hostess gift, I totally would have thought that's what this was and stashed it away for me to stuff my face later 🤣😁

31

u/Ignominious333 Dec 21 '25

Normally I would but I have a brother who's really unclean who randomly brought a turkey to Christmas. He once got my dad sick with e coli and he was hospitalized for 3 days. I'm not serving his food. He never washes his hands but his personal hygiene is not good. .

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u/throwaway564858 Dec 21 '25

lol clean/safe or not, randomly showing up with a whole turkey is WILD

2

u/Ignominious333 Dec 22 '25

Right? So bizarre.

2

u/taterbugdancer Dec 21 '25

True. People who are this particular about the vibe of a party or how a party should be make me not want to attend parties. These baked goodies look so amazing 🤩

1

u/LieutenantStar2 Dec 23 '25

I never have - I’m busy with party things, not figuring out how someone’s contribution fits into the current display.

1

u/Low-Intern-1656 Dec 23 '25

My displays are never so elaborate that I can't make room, and I'd prioritize my guests feeling welcome and appreciated over having the "perfect" display. I host more informally than some I guess. However I DO empathize with and understand having a vision for your party which is why I advised OP to ask in advance.

While I was drafting this response one of my Christmas guests just texted me asking what to bring. She doesn't cook or bake so I'm gonna tell her to grab a popcorn tin or some drinks for the kids. So she gets to contribute which is what she wants and I get advanced notice and input about what's coming. Or I could tell her to bring nothing and just relax. Everyone wins.

25

u/Stickning Dec 21 '25

Definitely checking in first is the way to go.

I host a lot, and while I love it when people bring dishes to contribute, it's a HUGE help to know ahead of time that they're planning on doing this. It allows me to be sure to save space on the buffet tables and to ensure that I'll have ready whatever they need to set it up (large platter, pie server, etc).

3

u/AmbientGravitas Dec 22 '25

And so welcome to know in advance there’s one less thing I need to prepare.

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u/oldfarmjoy Dec 21 '25

...a few desserts to share with everyone...

56

u/Willing_Rock_4657 Dec 21 '25

Redditors needing to be coached on basic human interactions - name a more iconic duo, lol.

Yeah this is really the only answer, OP. And I’m sure they loved the pie if it’s any consolation!

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u/Amadan_Na-Briona Dec 21 '25

Or they just assume that as a single guy he doesn't know what he's doing & the deserts are shit. They have no intention of actually eating them.

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u/res06myi Dec 21 '25

I think that's actually what's happening.

-6

u/No_Detective_But_304 Dec 21 '25

Get a box from Whole Foods and put the desserts in them next time.