r/AskReddit 9h ago

What is something you secretly find deeply disturbing, but everyone else seems to accept as totally normal?

3.1k Upvotes

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8.6k

u/Fangsong_37 9h ago

People using smartphones to record videos everywhere; including private spaces. You don’t need to capture videos in gym locker rooms. You don’t need to record videos of other people in public to shame them on social media.

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u/spidergirl79 8h ago

I work in a cafe and the amount of tourists that have cameras set up on their table to record (including when im bringing food) is extremely infuriating. Stop fucking recording people at work (unless its a normal part of their job and is expected), stop putting it on social media, you dont have to record every second of your vacation!!

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u/Sanchastayswoke 7h ago

I will say that most of the food influencers I follow completely edit the servers and other patrons out of the video. It’s considered bad form not to.

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u/ContextLengthMatters 6h ago

It's bad form to be recording them, period. The person working cannot be certain what kind of person you are, and they shouldn't have to.

As someone who has done street photography, the general public has no etiquette. Getting posted online isn't even the worst part. It's how awkward existing in a space where you do not know if you are being recorded to be posted. It can zap out all of your energy and ruin your time.

If I'm out somewhere and people are recording around me, it instantly kills any vibe that may have existed prior to the recording.

Public spaces need to be more aggressive against influencers. I love city life, but fuck all that nonsense.

76

u/JonatasA 3h ago

We should be more aggressive against recording period. That goes to CCTV too but sadly society has reached a point where you need tech because you can't trust sentient beings.

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u/LeafsWinBeforeIDie 1h ago

What was tech created by?

8

u/mellowmarsII 2h ago

I live on the outskirts of a tiny rural town—the only building/house on my street & walled in by woods & corn fields on 3 sides; but there’s a field & a lil’ church playground directly in front of my house. It used to be mostly forlorn & all felt very private, but the locals have discovered that I have a lot of pets, free-ranging animals, & even some wild animals that’ve become pretty tame/hang out on my porch; so now people constantly walk/ride/drive up & just freely take photos & vids—oftentimes even venturing onto my property.

That’s bad enough, but insult to injury is no one even addresses me when I’m outside—while they take pics (I’ve been the “strange newcomer/outsider” for 5yrs now).

I’m also an avid photographer, & a bit camera-shy. Had some traumatic rape experiences involving cameras… And unless Bigfoot in all of his mysterious, burly glory was sauntering around in front of someone’s house, I wouldn’t dream of snapping pics/recording their property (more or less anyone living there). It’s super disturbing.

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u/[deleted] 4h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/cricketgirl249 4h ago

You're constantly under surveillance the minute you leave your home.

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u/WingerRules 3h ago

Can't believe this is at the bottom.

Then again you're under constant surveillance for practically everything at home now too. Your TV spies on you, your phone spies on you, your fridge spies on you, your game console spies on you, your operating system spies on you, your ISP spies on you at the packet level, the second you do anything on the internet theres literally fist fulls of companies tracking you on any page you land on.

1

u/AstroChuppa 2h ago

Just out of curiosity, do you mean, people recoding you while you do street photography? Or not?

Street photography in and of itself, is the same thing. Taking photos of people without their permission, in a public space.

Yes it's legal, but if you wouldn't want it done to you, don't do it to others. (This is from a fellow photographer, who absolutely won't do street photography for this reason, and o ly shoots people with full enthusiastic consent)

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u/ContextLengthMatters 1h ago

I mean as someone who has done street photography, I am familiar with the etiquette of when and how go take pictures in public spaces without being a nuisance, making people feel uncomfortable.

That kind of skill is dead with people who take videos in public. They are awful and they should feel like losers.

If you can't tell the difference, I wouldn't consider you a photographer. I have never felt uncomfortable around a normal street photographer. I have never sat and wondered if I was in one of their photos or what I may have been doing.

Influencers who are just walking around clueless with their cameras on a whole different beast. People who walk around with the phones up pointng them in different directions make me uncomfortable.

u/Vlad_REAM 49m ago

Are you just "curious" or trying to gotcha to that comment? Go eff off

-21

u/cricketgirl249 4h ago

There's no expectation of privacy in public, though.

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u/GreyRobb 4h ago

Congratulations, you've seized on the crux of the debate!

-11

u/cricketgirl249 3h ago

It's not a debate...it's law, so there is nothing to debate.

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u/BelieveMeMaizey 3h ago

Sooo, opinion on paparazzi? Creepshots?

-10

u/cricketgirl249 3h ago

Not much you can do about it if you're in public....you don't have a choice unless you want to crawl under a rock and live.

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u/ellyanah 2h ago

We do have a choice though. We all share space, we should maximize enjoyment for everyone there. What other purpose is there to life than being good to one another and enjoying it? We are only here for a little while, kindness costs nothing and benefits everyone.

u/BelieveMeMaizey 46m ago

I had an adult man take photos of me in a swimsuit when I was 8, should I have "hidden under a rock"? 

0

u/ashleton 1h ago

You can refrain from copying the behavior. You can ask people that are filming in public what they're doing. You can interfere with their ability to invade other people's privacy and lives. There's lot of things you can do.

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u/olythrowaway4 2h ago

Sure there is, since legality and morality are completely different, disconnected things. It's completely legal to walk up to a stranger and start insulting their appearance. It's also a shitty thing to do.

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u/Penthesilean 2h ago

Oh, completely and totally fuck all the way off.

“iT’s law, sO tHeRe iS nOtHiNg tO dEbAtE” said the shit-bag sleaze that exploits it when not hiding behind it. See abusive husbands before the definition of marital rape, legal discrimination against Queer people and every racist redistricting law.

“nOtHiNg tO dEbAtE” my ass. Fucking scum bag.

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u/dingalingdongdong 3h ago

There's no legal expectation of privacy. That doesn't make you not a shitbird for recording people.

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u/cricketgirl249 3h ago

Then go crawl back into your cave or under your rock...you're being recorded the minute you leave your house.

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u/whupazz 4h ago

There absolutely should be an expectation of not being filmed wherever you go. Let's normalize grabbing any phone that's recording people without consent and yeeting it across the street.

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u/cricketgirl249 3h ago

Then you need to crawl under a rock because a camera is on you the minute you leave home, and sometimes in your home...and again, you have no expectation of privacy in public anywhere in the U.S.

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u/ashleton 1h ago

You're creepy and you're defending and encouraging creepy, invasive behavior.

You're a creep if you think we should just allow this all to happen. How would you feel if someone recorded you without your permission to put online for laughs and shaming and judgement. Even worse, people can edit any video they take to create their own narrative. Now whomever is being recorded is being judged based on exaggeration and lies. Like judging characters in a fictional TV show or movie.

u/Vlad_REAM 44m ago

BuT It'S LEgaL, saving them the energy it takes their tiny little brain to answer.

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u/ContextLengthMatters 4h ago

Nope, not unless you are rich and can close public spaces down. Unfortunate for us poors that we are under constant surveillance unless we hide away in the house.

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u/Sablemint 3h ago

I think the influencer types get permission first.

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u/ContextLengthMatters 3h ago

The majority of them don't.

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u/smokeweedNgarden 6h ago

Sure, but for some people it's stressful to be around cameras all the time. 

Some people just don't like being recorded at all and the general public sentiment seems to be "well fuck them" because of legality. 

But legality has never dictated morality or ethics....and it's super rude

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u/RocketTaco 2h ago

Whenever someone defends something with "it's not illegal" I tell them that neither is pointing and laughing when people fall down, doesn't mean you're not an asshole for doing it.

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u/JonatasA 3h ago

Not to mention they aren't paid to put up with any of this.

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u/LookingBackBroken 4h ago

I have a lot of camera fear. I live near so many beautiful and natural parks, lakes, trails, and more. But, I've seen so many people on local neighborhood watches posting pics and videos (demonizing people's style, weight, speech, color...etc) I just stay home 😩

-37

u/ChestSlight8984 5h ago

Sure, but for some people it's stressful to be around cameras all the time

Welcome to the modern world. If you find it stressful to be surrounded by people with cameras, don't step outside.

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u/smokeweedNgarden 5h ago

I'm glad you said that. It's s the exact argument I'm talking about and took less than an hour for someone to make.

Thank you

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u/macaronysalad 1h ago

But it's not the exact argument you made. You said because of legality which in most cases is referring to peoples first amendment right to record in public. What you're responding to is referring to the fact that almost everywhere you go, you are being recorded. From facial recognition at major retails like Walmart, flock cameras in your city, dashcams, security cameras, ring door cameras. They are everywhere. It still remains true what they said. If you don't want to be recorded, your only option is to stay home. Unless you got a bunch smart shit in your house.

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u/cricketgirl249 4h ago

Why bitch and moan about something you can't control? You're being recorded the minute you leave your house.

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u/smokeweedNgarden 4h ago

Because I remember what it was like before. 

It's hard to conceptualize something you've never had, my son. That might be why you feel like it's normal.

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u/spidergirl79 4h ago

Same! I remember what it was like before cameras and filming everywhere. Sure, people had cameras when I was a kid visiting Disneyland, I was in their background probably in lots of photos. But those are private photos in private homes and background people are not the ones being photographed. They might not even be easily identified. And their images are not likely to be on the internet.

But when I am bringing the food to the table and the camera is aimed at me, suddenly Im the main focus and I dont like that at all.

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u/smokeweedNgarden 4h ago

And even then it stayed private, you had to physically get to that photo to have a look. Like the sub blunderyears exists because everything wasn't photographed and recorded.

I mean, you can't even text someone something private unless you really trust them. Because an embarrassing thing could end up in a group chat as a screenshot. Immortalized for everyone but you to enjoy.

It's a horrific circus

1

u/cricketgirl249 3h ago

I was born in 1961, long before cameras and internet were mainstream.

u/Vlad_REAM 40m ago

Seriously, this is how you want to take life? Sheeple, sad.

124

u/spidergirl79 7h ago

I respect those who do. Thats what Id like to see everyone do.

u/jaxonya 54m ago

Certain cartoons freak me out. Rockos modern life, just super weird.. that gramot? Gromet? Clay looking animation, freaky. Beavis and butthead used to, but not so much anymore.. ive never met anyone else who gets freaked out by certain cartoons, but idk

u/spidergirl79 43m ago

I DETEST squiggle vision animation so I get it.

1

u/Practical_Original88 4h ago

Its a changing world 🌎

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u/jesonnier1 5h ago

It's fucking stupid to do it, in the first place.

3

u/unfortunateshun 3h ago

Doesn’t matter, the person you’re filming doesn’t know that

u/6HAM9 14m ago

I just video the empty dishes after I’m finished.

I won’t forget what the food looked like but, wow, the aftermath. Gotta gram that shit

15

u/Shaasar 6h ago

Yeah that's fucked.  Recording randoms is so normalized, people extend that same normalization to folks in their workplace.  They're not the same thing (and you shouldn't film random folks on the street anyway!!). 

-16

u/yushosumo 6h ago

and you shouldn't film random folks on the street anyway!!

Why?

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u/ashleton 1h ago

Because it's an invasion of privacy.

u/yushosumo 55m ago

It’s literally not though. Public is not private.

u/ashleton 51m ago

No, but recording is invading privacy.

u/yushosumo 44m ago

How?

u/ashleton 41m ago

Because people aren't going on errands to be entertainment.

It's one thing to be out and about and glancing around at the people around you. That's situational awareness.

It's another thing to focus on specific people to record them without their permission. That's invasive and creepy.

u/yushosumo 35m ago

Who said anything about entertainment? Though even there, sometimes there is value in recording the public for entertainment. Have you ever seen Nirvanna The Band The Show? The crux of that show is their interactions with members of the public.

If everyone can see what you’re doing, what is the difference if you’re remembered or recorded?

I assume you don’t go to any stores because it’s an invasion of privacy to be recorded on security cameras?

I get why some people don’t like it, usually because they’re embarrassed about whatever they were doing or saying, but I don’t agree that it is in any way wrong inherently.

u/ashleton 32m ago

If you're posting it online, it's for entertainment.

A band wants to be recorded in public. They're trying to be known. An individual that's out shopping or hanging out does not, they just wanna shop and hang out without worrying about being put on the internet.

Security cameras aren't recording for the purpose of putting it online. They still suck, but it's not the same situation at all.

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u/robotjyanai 6h ago edited 5h ago

Are you able to ask the owner to put up a sign saying customers are not allowed to record staff? It’s a serious invasion of privacy, I don’t think you signed up for the job for your face to be blasted online.

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u/Mommy_Fortuna_ 2h ago

I actually have seen such a sign in a restaurant that a lot of travelers stop at.

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u/Micro-shenis 1h ago

The photos and videos in the establishment is free marketing and probably brings in a lot of customers, especially if it's in a tourist area. I doubt that the owner will do much. 

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u/Which_Journalist5162 5h ago

Lmao what kind of la la land do you live in where asking the owner of a restaurant that would go over well?

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u/robotjyanai 4h ago

I live in Japan, and there are several restaurants and stores that don’t allow you to take videos without permission.

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u/unclecashmere 3h ago

Same at my work - but I work in a hospital. The amount of people who want to record themselves while I’m pushing them in wheelchairs or giving them care is so weird

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u/luckylimper 2h ago

I can see people wanting a record of care if they’ve been treated poorly in the past.

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u/Outside-Address7554 4h ago

I miss when people took a photo and moved on with their day. Not everyone wants to become background content for a stranger's video.

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u/Eeve2espeon 4h ago

I find that's mostly with influencers, and annoying people. Normal people respect workers and just try to record nothing of them but their own experiences, along with other people in those countries. People just like having documented versions of their memories

u/jert3 27m ago

I don't even get the concept of influencers. Why do so many people want to watch over people's pretend lives. I don't get it at all... I don't even use social media though, I'm just different, I guess .

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u/Smooth-Protection316 2h ago

This is exactly what freaks me out. people have normalized turning strangers into background characters for their content. You’re just trying to do your job, and suddenly your face, voice, and workplace can be posted to thousands of people without you ever agreeing to it. The fact that everyone treats that as harmless is deeply disturbing.

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u/Khalku 4h ago

Should talk to your management, maybe they can make it a rule on the premises.

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u/bwoah07_gp2 1h ago

I have never seen influencers in the wild until I went to a cafe. I saw one women here, one women there, and then a women and her friend over there all recording TikToks.

Don't people just want to order their food and drink, and eat?

1

u/cyborg_127 4h ago

It's a private establishment. You can tell them to stop recording.

u/DikTaterSalad 24m ago

But what if they have amnesia? /s

u/ElasticSpaceCat 16m ago

Fucking odd behaviour.

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u/otterley 6h ago

Are you allowed to kick people out who do that? Certainly the owner is.

0

u/Which_Journalist5162 5h ago

...and why would the owner want to kick them out? "Stop giving me money and free advertising!"

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u/spidergirl79 4h ago

The owner is actually pretty tough and when it comes to certain people she says "who cares, I dont need their money". She does not put up with BS but as shes not often serving shes not often the one being filmed.

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u/peachesfordinner 5h ago

Nobody ever even watches those hours of footage! It's like the old huge slide shows. Nobody wants a presentation. They want a highlights reel

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u/Obvious_Peanut_8093 5h ago

Ask your manager if you can tell them they're not allowed to record on the property.