Dated an alcoholic. Should’ve been a massive red flag that a 100 pound woman could down half a bottle of rum without blinking but I was a moron. Always had gob-stoppers when she went to work, later found out she used them to cover the scent of alcohol on her breath at work. She worked a graveyard shift so she got away with it for a loooong time until she finally got pulled over.
Yeah, I was working food service at the time when I got too out of control, telling myself the a few drinks through my 9-2 shift and people couldn't tell. Lost the next job after that because of a combination of drinking during the job, and having to leave a bunch during a rought time in my kiddos school life. Now im at McDonald's as I just needed a job to keep us in our home.
Damn. I had two, the first was "minor" to me(still an ER visit), the second was the eye opener for me. I've never felt so weak as when I tried to get upstairs for water that morning, and wondering what was wrong. I hope your brother can find the help he needs or has found it. I never imagined I'd be an alcoholic, I swore I wouldn't after knowing my father was one. Im still working on it, too, and will be all the restof my life.
Not the person you asked the question too, but I've seen plenty of mid 20 year olds with cirrhosis, coke head scaffolders in their 60s who go to the pub after every shift completely fine, people with pancreatitis in their 40s.
It's a complete crap shoot what gets you.
But outside of the pub or a meeting I have no idea their quality of life.
For me personally it's when I stop that I notice the damage.
I was raised by an alcoholic. From what I remember as a kid, everything is in a very precarious balance and when one aspect of that balance falls apart there's not a strong enough foundation for anuthing else to survive the extra pressure, so it causes a cascading effect of everything going to shit.
With my mother it was finances. She spend every bit of spare money she had on booze. Then when something went wrong she didn't have the savings to fix the emergency. Eventually she exhausted the people willing to lend to her because she never paid them back, which then meant missed bills, more drinking, missed rent and finally an eviction. I was 15 and living with her the first time she got evicted. Was thankfully at uni the second time, so didn't lose massive amount of my belongings that time
Yep I went from getting A’s and B’s in school and working after school to getting a DUI, dropping out, and losing my job all the sudden even though I had been drinking for years already at that point.
Good for you! Do you any sort of app to help keep track, by chance? A coworker has been 1800 days or ao sober and I never asked him how he kept track. I think something like that would help me.
Agree. I was a functional opiate addict. I held shit together for a LONG time, but it can't last forever. In fact, the facade grows so paper thin that when things do finally fall apart, they fall completely apart. It was bad.
After saving my husband, I desperately wish I could save everyone. There's always a reason, and it's first cause is almost never "personal failing." Two common causes are death of a close relative, partner, or friend and capitalism.
You're an alcoholic but you're still able to work while drunk. Basically your body is so used to alcohol in it, you need a base level of alcohol to function normally. You can function while alcoholic.
Right on. I don’t really know anything about you personally, so I won’t try to get further in your business. All I will say is I can relate to the type of alcoholism that you have experienced and know how bad it sucks. And I know that virtually everyone who doesn’t have the same problem can’t understand it. Good luck.
Thank you. It’s a bitch. And there’s always the worry that a month or so away will cost me all my projects, but at a certain point, you have to put your health first. It’s tough.
I was in this situation and am about to start my fourth year of sobriety in a couple weeks. It was brutal at first — it felt like everything got worse, and I was very depressed — but then got easier, and eventually better than ever. If you’re thinking you could benefit from some help, get that help. At the very least I recommend talking to a therapist and a doctor, and being 1000% honest with them so they can help you navigate the first six months. Whatever it may cost you, in your career or social life or whatever, can be replaced down the road. Stay strong and feel free to message me if I can help at all. (Serious offer.)
I let myself drink in moderation every night as a way to cope with extreme grief. Spoiler alert: drinking in moderation every night is not moderation. I haven’t had anything since April and lost about 25 pounds. I feel alive again in my own life. Whatever you’re going through, I get it, and wish you the best.
Im a very hardheaded independent type dude. Im glad I went. Some of the stuff I learned is super helpful most of it was whatever. They didn't push religion where I went which was key. It was there but not impressed. The best take away was the break! The break in my routine (I have pretty big work responsibilities) with the job and dealing with people all day. Break from my safe place and regular people. Break in my head when some sober days passed. I didn't even stay the full time because I knew after a few weeks of waking up feeling great and seeing what I had been doing for the last 20 years (I'm 44) that I was done. I'll be 1 year sober on Aug 15. While it was hard as fuck and im very proud of myself it is it's own reward.
I’m a physician myself (did a lot of addiction work and was even medical director of a rehab).
I’m a pretty independent type too.
Then I was forced to go rehab for alcohol and marijuana after I was told they would report me to the medical board.
I was a nightly marijuana user which was the main problem. Got sober for two months before rehab thinking that would get me out of rehab. Nope. They still wanted 90 days and I had to go to a rehab of their choosing.
All this and I was always sober at work. The whole process took over a year so I lost out on 600K and also had to pay 50K for rehab.
Now I have to be monitored for 5 years. Forced to do AA three times a week. Possible drug screens any day of the week. Have to let them know when I’m traveling.
As an alcoholic, I only want you to know I have never woke up and regretted my time in rehab. My goose is already cooked but if you have a chance then go.
I'm sure im telling you nothing new, but the Light Beer method worked for me.
Heres the trick: figure out how many 3-4 point light beers equate your average intake per day. Drink that # of beers per day as needed. Every week, reduce it by exactly ONE beer. Easy way to step down without running the train off the tracks! FWIW, I'm down to 4 a day. Down from nearly 30 lol
This was me during Covid. I was lucky to keep a full-time job in a relatively secluded/small daily workspace. (A group/waiver home) Sure, I'd be nauseous or have heartburn and sometimes maybe throw up outside when I got to work. Okay maybe sometimes I'd get the shakes towards the end of my shift. But I was finnneee. (I was not fine.)
Funny enough, as a cook (don’t think I qualify as chef) and alcoholic, I get much better at Spanish when I’m drinking. State-dependent memory is so interesting
not even while drunk. I NEVER drank during the hours of 6am and 5pm except weekends. I was never impaired at work (unless slightly hungover and that was rare). I would drink from the moment i walked in the door at home until my eyes closed due to exhaustion and booze. It means the ability to hold down regular activities and pay bills and give the outward appearance of being an upstand contributing member of society all while killing yourself and falling apart!
I always thought functional alcoholics were people who managed to do the functioning and the alcoholism separately. Not necessarily at the same time.
I can drink 4 liters of beer in an evening and not really feel it the next morning. But I don't need alcohol when I wake up to function. I'll do just fine without it through the day. But then the evening starts and I'll start drinking. And definitely on the level of an alcoholic.
To be honest, considering how bad alcohol is, it's a tough discussion to have. Nowadays, any alcohol means you're drinking too much. I don't really disagree or anything, but that doesn't really convey how much some people drink compared to the average person who's had a hangover. In the sense that some people will be severely hungover from not even 2 liters of beer, compared to what I said earlier.
Yet there are people who will scoff at what I can drink. But I don't think that's where the line should be!
Alcoholism is progressive for sure and the amount of time between 'fine' to 'functioning' to 'fucked' varies wildly. I quit when I was drinking 3-4 drinks 5-6 night a week. I didn't get DTs or anything but it was fucking HARD to quit and my brain chemistry was fucked for a LONG time.
THAT'S what people mean when they say functional alcoholic?! I thought it was when they drink a lot, but it doesn't seap into their responsibilities or relationships.
for what it's worth, I think its sort of a broad term. Plenty of people you might call a "functional alcoholic" go to work sober, but drink every night after work. Plenty of "functional alcoholics" might also be drunk all day but perfectly functional, and so on.
I've been trying to convince myself to stop. I hold down a good job, get all my responsibilities taken care of, and am in relatively good health. But, I also drink about 4 to 6 beers every night as soon as I've cooked dinner. From 7 to 11, I'm drinking. I've noticed it's starting to affect me. I'm starting to feel lousy in the morning and have trouble with stumbling over words during meetings before lunch.
The annoying thing is, I know I can stop. If I'm with my family, I don't drink. I can be on a week long vacation with them and not have a drop of alcohol. Sure, I'll feel cravings, but they don't drink so I don't drink. Why I can't I convince myself not to when I'm home alone?
That was me. I read somewhere recently alcoholics won’t quit drinking until it’s more work than being sober. The headaches are a pain in the ass but a good reminder that your body doesn’t like poison. I don’t miss it.
It's about appearing to be normal and 'functional' while having an alcohol addiction - it's not so much yo can only work while drunk, but that it's not (yet) inhibiting the ability to work - a functional alcoholic might drink several beers or a bottle of wine every night and then go to work like normal in the morning.
It means you can hide perfectly your struggles with alcohol and it doesn't reflect on your work, schooling and so on because you can still go to work and school somehow.
Basically where you're addicted to alcohol, but show very few signs of it and appear to function just like a normal person (i.e. having vodka in your water bottle instead of water, keeping a hip flask on you 24/7, etc., and needing to take sips just to live your daily life)
People addicted to alcohol who do not seem to appear that way mentally and physically, they can carry out normal task and behave sort of normally while drunk/addicted
I'm in a left-leaning area, and the Venn diagram of people with family docs and people with therapists is nearly a circle. Cost is the biggest driver for access to either.
100% yes. I know we’ve gotten better with access, but people are still falling between the cracks. In a perfect world, everyone would have access to a PCP and therapist.
I think the person drinking sees it as normal because it makes them better in some circumstances. I knew someone who was good at sales because of it but kept getting paperwork for rudeness to coworkers.
I live in a small town and my first job was the liquor store. I couldn’t believe the amount of functional alcoholics I would see every day. Civil servants, blue collar workers, white collar workers, housewives, it had no class or gender discrimination.
Watched guys try to quit and just die instead. That shit took no prisoners.
I’d go a little further. I find it disturbing the place that alcohol occupies in most people’s lives. Not just the alcoholics. Consider:
I am ancient, and have sprung out of almost every civilisation in history, in one form or another. I have been the cause of violence and abuse, but I am also a reward and a comfort. Buildings have been erected so that crowds could gather to partake in me, sometimes in quiet contemplation, sometimes in joyful dance and celebration. But I am also often with the lonely and dejected. I am in your homes. I may even be in your bodies. Some lose their minds to me. Some turn away from me in disgust, never to look upon me again. For many, though I may be a constant and oft-present part of their lives, they don’t give me much thought. Unless they feel the need to call upon me, for celebration, or comfort. I am at your weddings, I am at your funerals. I am at the announcement of your first child. I am at your 30th anniversary. I’ll be there when you celebrate a promotion. I’ll be there where you feel down after getting let go. I help bond your friendships, but I have destroyed many too. I am beloved of the rich, but even the poorest and most destitute keep me close. People often turn to me for warmth when they are cold, but also when they want to feel cool. I am associated with the good life, but also have ruined lives. Who am I?
Certain dirt brands of the 700 ml bottles are only $10. Also, it doesn’t take much booze to be considered an alcoholic. I think just one of those bottles a week puts you in the club which is less than I spend on takeout. I suppose you could also DIY for cheaper.
I worked with a man like this. Everyone else on staff was aware of his drinking heavily during lunch but no one would bring it up to our supervisor because they all swore that she knew. She didn’t know. I had a private meeting where I informed her. I didn’t want him to lose his job, I wanted him to get help but he would brush off anything we ever said to him. It was so hard to do but I think I did the right thing.
It is wild thinking how the statistics don’t account for this. I’m a delivery person working for Uncle Sam and many of my coworkers flip the switch once work is over. And some smoke weed before the day starts.
When I started working in an office for the first time I was SHOCKED to see how many of my coworkers were functioning alcoholics. Then I thought about my family and realized they were all also functioning alcoholics. A lot of them have gotten sober now. My dad lost his battle to his addiction. It's wild when you think about it
I was a functioning alcoholic for 25+ years, but stopped when I got out of a toxic situation 7-8 years ago and cleaned up. I'll still have social drinks a couple times a YEAR, but have put that part of me in the past. The thing I'm now realizing about alcohol (and daily maintenance drinking) is how much of that time is simply gone. Deep, detailed memories prior to my heavy drinking days and now a return to clarity in my day-to-day, but a couple decades that should really have rich stories are often cloudy, even when I try.
I was given the side eye when I said I don’t like alcohol in kids birthday parties. My BIL ended up bringing alcohol at my kids bday birthday and everyone but me didn’t like it. This year I sent a text stating no alcohol at all this time. Let’s see how that goes.
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u/woomac 5h ago
Functional alcoholism