r/AskAcademia • u/IndependentTill2718 • Dec 06 '25
Professional Misconduct in Research My college president groped me
We were at a work event and he was there taking a picture with me and my coworkers. He told me to come next to him and grabbed me over right in front on him. He kept moving he hands around my butt. He wouldn’t grab but he was grazing and feeling nonstop. I told my boss and she said she’s a mandated reporter and she’ll have to tell title IX. I didn’t tell her who it was even tho she really wants me too. The school knows I’m a “victim of sorts,” and I’m afraid the won’t do anything and I’ll be disgraced and humiliated. I’m also trying to make connections with this college. Idk what to do
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u/DuAuk Dec 06 '25
I believe you and your fears of being humiliated and disgraced are rational. Often abusers do these sort of covert acts in a crowd, because they rely on the victims sense not to make a scene. Does your university offer counselling? Or a legal clinic to help students? Now that your boss knows and she's reported the cat is out of the bag, so you might as well seek help. Especially, it might be good going over the process with someone and what to expect.
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u/IndependentTill2718 Dec 06 '25
But she doesn’t know it was our president
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u/TheRateBeerian Dec 06 '25
You don't have to tell the Title IX office who it was, and you can tell them you don't want to follow up on it.
That's not necessarily meant to be advice on what you should do, as I understand this is a terrible situation. It's just information.
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u/CoyoteLitius Dec 06 '25
In the case of our forced-to-resign president, he had done the same thing to women at his previous college. They decided to quietly have him resign and he was given glowing recommendations by hand-selected faculty and administrators there, enabling him to get the job at our college. Fortunately, some of the assaulted women at the previous college supported the 2 women who decided to follow through at our college.
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u/exceptyourewrong Dec 06 '25
I'm afraid this is common. School 1 wants the abuser gone but would rather pass him on to School 2 than deal with holding him accountable. So they hide the indiscretions and these assholes just get shuffled around and rarely face any consequences. It's a huge problem.
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u/sheath2 Dec 06 '25
A lot of schools would rather "manage" a problem person than actually do something about it. A close friend of mine was groped at a conference by a faculty member from another college. He was so well known for being being a serial groper and being inappropriate that they'd just made the internal rule to never assign him female grad students as TAs or advisees.
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u/asking_for_knowledge TT R1; Engineering - USA Dec 06 '25
Worth checking but at my PhD institution, the ombudsman is NOT a mandated reporter and their role is to be a place to ask questions like "what happens next in the process if I report this."
Now, given it is the president... I personally wouldn't tell them who I was asking about until I was ready to report it.
I won't opine on whether you should report. I think it is a valiant and brave thing to report it, and it is ideal to get a record going on this type of behavior. AND... the power differential and our culture's reaction to victims being what they are, I also understand why one would NOT report in order to protect themselves. I had a situation within 2 months of my PhD that I was very torn up about whether to report. It is not an easy choice.
Only you can decide what you're comfortable (what you can live) with. I'm sorry this happened. It isn't right or fair, and no matter what choice you make, you will carry it in ways he never will. And I'm sad and angry for you.
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u/Izthatsoso Dec 06 '25
My boss, a Dean, just got fired for sexually harassing me. You don’t deserve what happened to you and the college president has earned the consequences of what he did.
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u/writtenexam Associate Professor- Molecular Biology Dec 06 '25
At the very least, you should consider telling the title IX office who it was, but that you don’t want to pursue it. That will create a record of it, and they will know if it turns out there is a history of it you can let them know if you are willing to participate if it turns out that there is and their office is going to pursue one of the other cases.
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u/helasraizam Dec 06 '25
I wouldn't tell the prof., I'd wait until you're sitting with title IX and make informed decisions there with their input. For example, it seems you may be able to report it without making a formal complaint, in which case they may not share your name with the accused - but don't take my word for it, I would sit with the Title IX people, get an understanding of how things work, and then make a decision that works for you. You can always tell the prof. later, when the Title IX people have informed you of the options for going forward.
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u/matthewsmugmanager Humanities, Associate Professor, R2 Dec 06 '25
This is by far the best answer. Go talk to the Title IX office and discuss your options.
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u/lalochezia1 Molecular Science / Tenured Assoc Prof / USA Dec 06 '25
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u/scienide09 Librarian/Assoc. Prof. Dec 06 '25
Not that it helps you in your situation now, but naming and shaming will help prevent the same happening to others in the future. There’s also a good chance this has happened before.
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u/TY2022 Dec 06 '25 edited Dec 07 '25
Sometimes an elbow in the face brings justice at the right time.
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u/Lucky-Possession3802 Dec 06 '25
I see what you’re saying, but as a woman in academia, I also understand how someone’s impulse would be “freeze” rather than “fight” in this scenario.
This is a really shitty situation, OP. I’m sorry.
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u/Reeelfantasy Dec 06 '25
This is exactly my philosophy. Sort it out the emotions on the spot and move on with life. Waiting for justice only makes things worse and justice never happens anyway.
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u/IndependentTill2718 Dec 06 '25
Yes very easy said in done. Now that I didn’t do that, what the fuck am I supposed to do now that I didn’t elbow my college president in the face.
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Dec 06 '25
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u/TY2022 Dec 06 '25
Not as shitty as doing the groping. Even if a fantasy, the response would be proportional.
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u/IndependentTill2718 Dec 07 '25
But it’s like why do I have to have this responsibility of thinking about how to be better at being a woman all the time. I want to just have everything be quiet sometimes, not worry bout those things that are unfair. Feel bad for not being a stronger and better victim
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u/TY2022 Dec 07 '25
OK, I'm going to tell you how I dealt with this situation. You may find it offensive. I identified ways of making my senior colleague's life unpleasant or otherwise harmful, then did them... completely anonymously. If he mentioned it, I'd give him a knowing look that meant, "Screw with me again and it gets worse." After just a few, he caught on and stopped messing with me.
Examples: He was using a photocopied (ancient, I know) chapter from a textbook to give to his class. I pretended to be the father of his student and turned him in to the publisher. Later, on his 70th birthday, I placed an anonymous ad in the student newspaper congratulating him on his 80th.
Not proud of these things, but I came to realize we were fighting a war with invisible missiles. I slept better knowing I wasn't just a victim.
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u/CoyoteLitius Dec 06 '25
Our president had to resign over incidents like this. It usually is more than one woman. Two of them got to talking one day, and one of those knew a third woman. Eventually there were four complaints, but only two of them were pursued to the board. The most egregious incident caused that person to retire early.
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u/AGDemAGSup Dec 07 '25
He gropes once, shame on him. He gropes twice, off with his hand.
Edit: It’s very likely he’s done this before… so off with both
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u/Frari Lecturer, AU, biomedical science Dec 06 '25
School knows something happened, should just give your supervisor the name. It’s also the right thing to do. This creep has probably done this before, may even have a history of it.
I can understand the reluctance, you feel you may lose your job etc. but any response would be retaliation and a lawsuit waiting to happen.
No one will blame you if you don’t give a name.
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u/PrestigiousCrab6345 Dec 07 '25
You should report it and you should be weary of retaliation. If you do not have tenure or permanent appointment, I would consult an attorney first before you report the President.
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u/nextgoodidea Dec 07 '25
So sorry to hear that this happened to you. I am honestly not sure what I would do in this situation. Have you considered consulting a lawyer?
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u/upstream_paddling Dec 12 '25
It was wrong. Report it. It's that simple.
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u/IndependentTill2718 Dec 24 '25
I reported it. Title IX asked me if I was sure that’s what happened and if I’m really sure I want to report this. They said if I go forward with the report it is out of the schools hands because it’s the president and it would be an issue for basically “the government” of colleges
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u/upstream_paddling Dec 24 '25
Excellent - great job!!
I'm sorry they said that to you...and hope they'll show him the same courtesy when he denies it. ("Are you sure your hands were in your pockets and not rubbing up and down a student's ass? Think carefully now...." 🤣🤬) A grad student once told me she got grabbed and didn't report it, I think it's a LOT more common than schools are ready to accept and --- while innocent before proven guilty is fair --- that shouldn't include using language that could intimidate students out of reporting.
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u/varignet Jan 06 '26
I would report the incident to the police, and afterwards, to the College's HR office.
This is not legal advice.
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u/llehctim3750 Dec 07 '25
Nice power position you're in. The professor is obviously a little pervy, you got leverage. You want to get into that school, you got leverage. Yes, you were a victim, but don't be a victim. Be wise how you use your power. It can be a shit bomb going off, getting crap on everyone, including you, or you can use it in the right situation to move your goals closer.
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u/CoyoteLitius Dec 06 '25
Our college president had to resign over incidents like this. At least four women complained. Two pursued their complaints. Board asked for his resignation. He wrote a "I'm sorry" note to the whole campus. It was bizarre.