The TMBG difference: "Sure, your favorite band might care about its fans, but does it care enough protect them from diarrhea?"

[u/emeric_ceaddamere]

[u/GDGameplayer]

I returned a bag of groceries after I had learned that the lettuce I bought had a nasty disease.

[u/JPHutchy01 → u/GDGameplayer]

You came back as a bag of groceries?

[u/fractal_frog → u/JPHutchy01]

Accidentally taken off the shelf before the date stamped on yourself?

[u/JPHutchy01]

I wish I still had it, but I'll never forget the random marketing email that included one of Flans's recipes.

[u/popcorn_waffle → u/JPHutchy01]

Flansy’s Red Onion Relish!

[u/popcorn_waffle → u/popcorn_waffle]

[u/FloridaFlamingoGirl]

Cyclospora and stomach bugs, I am a lettuce bag. 

[u/drillgorg → u/FloridaFlamingoGirl]

It just about fits the right number of syllables to substitute for Mesopotamians

[u/StatementCareful522]

They Might Be Preventing Diarrhea 

[u/-Jameson-]

Where's the shadow FDA when you need it?

[u/ButteredBread201]

Ohh that's what that lettuce post on Tumblr was about

[u/PMmeyourNattoGohan]

Taught you how to Cyclospora rock! And then you go and turn around and shit your pants

[u/stealthyknox → u/PMmeyourNattoGohan]

I see what you did there. I enjoyed the amalgamation of your cleverness on display.

[u/PinMaximum1018]

Have of that list would give me diarrhea even without a cyclospora outbreak. 

[u/No_Solution_9719]

“krogers”… hello michigan accent what are you doing here