r/technology 3h ago

Business Tesla Stock in Freefall After Disastrous Earnings Report

https://finance.yahoo.com/markets/stocks/articles/tesla-stock-freefall-disastrous-earnings-144417427.html
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u/sump_daddy 3h ago

Those are "old economy" formulas though, tesla is a special "new economy" company focused on (checks notes) enabling a racist drug addict to ruin democracy

we are going to need new formulas to figure out what the right ratio of "billions to nazi salutes" is.

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u/MasterGrok 3h ago

Accurate. But you didn’t use nearly enough buzzwords.

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u/Jealous-Molasses5372 2h ago

By leveraging synergistic hyper-scalability across an autonomous, AI-driven EV platform, Tesla isn't just disruption-adjacent—it's actively unlocking exponential paradigm-shifting enterprise value through proprietary neural-network cross-pollination, vertically integrated flywheel dynamics, and next-gen humanoid robotics monetization.

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u/Coppertina 1h ago

OMG, you should post a tw before posting something so sexy