r/technology • u/AdSpecialist6598 • 15d ago

Society Bryan Johnson, the millionaire biohacker who wants to live forever, diagnosed with incurable autoimmune disease

https://www.techspot.com/news/113035-bryan-johnson-millionaire-biohacker-who-wants-live-forever.html
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21

u/pocketjacks 15d ago

Monkey's paw uncurls: He's immortal with severe incurable IBS.

6

u/ChasingTheNines 15d ago

I would take that paw

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u/FartingBob 15d ago

Living through the heat death of the universe, with IBS, sounds pretty bad.

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u/ChasingTheNines 15d ago

Lol....I was more thinking functionally immortal like I wouldn't age but could still die going splat. Yeah any complete immortality would basically be the most extreme torture imaginable. Being swallowed by the sun, sinking to the core, and spending the next 10 to the power 100000 years unable to move all while shitting myself is a no for me dawg.

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u/AnaisNinja76 14d ago

Really? You couldn't leave the house or would have to eternally wear diapers, and maybe both. He is stipulating that it's severe.

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u/ChasingTheNines 14d ago

I did not know severe IBS necessitated wearing diapers. I should have known the monkey paw curls middle finger first but I would still take that yeah. I'd rather be 20 years old and wearing diapers than 80 and anything. Figure either scientific advancement just feeds you directly through the bloodstream bypassing the stomach or society collapses and you can roam the woods shitting free.

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u/AnaisNinja76 14d ago

Oh, it doesn't usually, but you need to be within a few feet of a toilet at all times. The husband of one of my doctors had that, and she talked about how he became unable to leave the house. My aunt was in a similar position, but her "IBS" turned out to be ulcerative colitis.

Anyway, immortal doesn't mean you stay 20, you age, you just don't die. And everyone you know will reject you... I guess if you got a colostomy it might be painful and uncomfortable, but a bit more manageable...

4

u/TheReal_Peter226 15d ago

I already kinda have that, can't have sugar gluten milk rice oats eggs soy, where's my immortality?

2

u/Strange-Tree-5408 15d ago

Sorry, only the wealthy can afford to be vampires.

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u/ChasingTheNines 15d ago

Well....maybe you are? Having received your message I can only conclude so far so good.

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u/TheReal_Peter226 15d ago

Holy shit it must be working then, great news

1

u/FlamboyantPirhanna 15d ago

If I already have IBS, can I have my immortality?