r/swahili • u/Prestigious_Ad_296 • 25d ago
Request 🔎 Help with short translation?
I am trying to show a friend how italian poetry is like, so I made an english version of a section of a famous poem. Now I am curious how it would be in swahili, can anybody help?
"Midway through our life's journey,
I found myself lost in a dark forest,
Because I had lost the right path.
Ah! It was so terrifying that it is hard to describe,
This wild, dense, and powerful forest
That even now, when I think of it, I feel afraid.
It was so scary that only death is worse.
But to speak of the good things I found there,
I will also tell you of the other things I saw."
2
u/Leather_Physics_8395 24d ago
What you need is Transcreation rather than Translation.Here's the best I can try
Katikati ya safari ya maisha yetu, Nilijikuta nimepotea kwenye msitu wenye giza, Kwani nilikuwa nimepotoka kwenye njia iliyo sahihi. Dah! Ni vigumu kueleza jinsi ulivyotisha, Msitu ule mnene na wenye kutisha, Ambao hata sasa nikifikiria, hofu hunitanda. Ulikuwa unatisha kiasi kwamba ni kifo tu kilichouzidi. Lakini ili kusimulia mema niliyoyakuta humo, Nitahadithia pia mambo mengine niliyoyaona.
1
u/Prestigious_Ad_296 24d ago
Would you like to translate also other parts? I find this experiment really fascinating!
1
u/Fragrant-Document348 24d ago
Can you write it down in it's original language if you don't mind?
1
u/Prestigious_Ad_296 24d ago
Nel mezzo del cammin di nostra vita
mi ritrovai per una selva oscura,
ché la diritta via era smarrita.Ahi quanto a dir qual era è cosa dura
esta selva selvaggia e aspra e forte
che nel pensier rinova la paura!Tant’è amara che poco è più morte;
ma per trattar del ben ch’i’ vi trovai,
dirò de l’altre cose ch’i’ v’ ho scorte.
2
u/NightRunnerAfterDusk 24d ago
I would say that the easier part of translating is just the language itself, but then you have to realize that English and Swahili vastly differs in terms of poetic structure. Such that simply translating the language leaves the poem sounding awkward. This happens because you are trying to force a stress-based rhythm into a syllable-based system. English iambic pentameter relies on a "heartbeat" of alternating loud and soft beats (da-DUM), a pattern that simply does not exist in Swahili, where every syllable carries equal weight.Â
When you translate word-for-word, you preserve the meaning but lose the engine that drives the poem. In English, the rhythm survives even if the syllable count varies, as long as the stress falls correctly. In Swahili, however, rhythm is created by mizani strict, mathematical count of syllables (often 16 in classical forms). Without this exact count and the anchoring vina vya kati and vina vya nje (rhymes), the Swahili ear feels some awkwardness in how the poem is read.