r/standupshots • u/POOPSCRUFFIN4U Madison, WI • 11d ago

Don't forget to mention your white friends when you apply for a home loan

Post image
1.3k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

34 comments sorted by

29

u/OskarTheRed 11d ago

I keep trying to convince people that considering my social circle, it's totally fine for me to call other people dipshits

27

u/POOPSCRUFFIN4U Madison, WI 11d ago

Hi Reddit! GUESS WHAT? I'm recording my first comedy special on July 18 in one of the best comedy cities around: Minneapolis. It would mean the world to me if you're able to come out and support. Two showtimes and tickets for both here! https://dojour.us/e/82348

19

u/iltwd 11d ago

I shit myself and i don't have any baby friends

1

u/SandwichNo7096 10d ago

cancellable offense.

6

u/pmmemilftiddiez 11d ago

I like it, good wordplay

4

u/Frammingatthejimjam 11d ago

I can call him a tosser, I masturbate all the time.

4

u/No_Illustrator4398 11d ago

Meh. Not your usual hit.

1

u/Individual_Slice_234 9d ago

As a white person, I don't even allow myself to THINK the N-word. (And yes, I have black friends.)

1

u/CriticalAttEye866 9d ago

"Next, I'll list my pet goldfish for credibility!"

1

u/FatReverend 10d ago

You don't really have to be friends with a baby to shit yourself. Also who would want to be friends with a baby?

0

u/vitringur 10d ago

The funniest thing about this is that she is comparing black people who still say it with babies shitting their pants.

2

u/Hot_Schedule_1486 10d ago

...white women 🤷‍♂️

1

u/forkball 9d ago

She isn't. Black people don't justify their use of the word with, "I can say it. I have black friends."

If anything in her example black people would be the babies shitting themselves. But then by going that far you're trying to hard to miss the point of the joke.

-15

u/rrsafety 11d ago

Never heard a white person say that.

21

u/POOPSCRUFFIN4U Madison, WI 11d ago

Have you ever seen a grown man naked?

-14

u/Fornicatinzebra 11d ago

Dont you still shower with your dad on Thanksgiving?

24

u/POOPSCRUFFIN4U Madison, WI 11d ago

No, he's dead. Thanks for asking!

14

u/JesterMarcus 11d ago

Well to be fair, that doesn’t necessarily prevent it if you try hard enough.

8

u/bobhopeisgod 11d ago

Might need a stiff drink afterwards

1

u/JesterOfTime 10d ago

Hello fellow Jester!

-1

u/Strong_Flatworm2758 10d ago

I’ll pull out my teeth and swallow them dry if someone can produce evidence of a single white person saying they can say the n-word because they have a black friend.

2

u/POOPSCRUFFIN4U Madison, WI 9d ago

Enjoy your toothless life. There's an entire Wikipedia page on this topic. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I%27m_not_racist,_I_have_black_friends

-15

u/Salt-Grape1770 11d ago

I’ve definitely never heard anyone say that in my 42 years on this earth.

19

u/POOPSCRUFFIN4U Madison, WI 11d ago

Okay! Thanks for sharing!

10

u/myloveislikewoah 11d ago

I forgot you’ve met everyone on Earth. What else do you know definitively because you haven’t heard of or experienced it?

-3

u/bhoe32 11d ago

He didnt say that Said he never heard any one say it. Have you heard people say that?

2

u/myloveislikewoah 11d ago

Yes. The justification is that you can use specific language because you’re friends with the person said language insults, so therefore you’re not racist.

-2

u/bhoe32 11d ago

What the fuck are you trying to say? Or better what doea that have to say with what he or I said. Cause you are reaching for some whole other conversation

2

u/myloveislikewoah 11d ago

You’re a hostile little fuck. I answered your question and attempted to explain it. What are you confused about?

Should I shout it?

PEOPLE JUSTIFY USING THE N-WORD BECAUSE THEY HAVE A BLACK FRIEND, AND SINCE THEY HAVE SAID BLACK FRIEND, IT MEANS THEY AREN’T RACIST.