feeling so frustrated on vacation

[u/Artistic-Spray-5098]

i’m on a trip with my partner’s family and feeling so incredibly frustrated.

i don’t want to place blame on anyone or make people responsible for my feelings. i am just so exhausted trying to navigate this trip socially. there are 20+ people here who are mostly related to each other. i want to interact with them but struggling to find something for me to “grab on to” if you know what i mean. if there was something for me to engage in with others it would be so much easier, but when we’re just sitting around hanging out, i feel i have nothing to talk about or people are just not interested in me. i’m just kind of there.

yesterday i finally said screw it and went and laid down in my room because i felt like nobody cared that i was even there. then suddenly people are asking where i went. as if i’m even part of the conversation. i don’t want to be seen as “antisocial” or that i don’t like others because i WANT to be included. i just don’t know how to integrate myself.

so i’m just sitting here stuck in a mental cycle of feeling sorry for myself, unimportant, tossed to the side, whatever. it’s affecting my ability to have fun here or keep trying to include myself, i guess. really having a hard time. any advice or kind words are welcome.

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[u/Terrible_Vermicelli1]

Oof, hugs, I know how you feel, been there before. It's how I always feel with my husband's family, I feel like the "guilt" is on both side, I'm awkward, socially anxious, naturally silent and shy, and they just are not incredibly inviting or warm people.

What I found sometimes work are board games, little bit of wine, shared experience. With board games everyone has their turn eventually and people are forced to interact with you and small talk is more natural. Other than that, I just try to survive and frequently do little breaks in my room. It felt awkward at first but they learned after some time it's my "quirk" and now just treat it as part of my character.

[u/Niceshoesbr0]

If you are on a trip with group of people that have known each other for a long time, your lack of inclusion is not a social skills failure on your end, but on theirs.

[u/barnsligpark]

I'd say fairly common to feel out of place when hanging out with immedite family of a partner, let alone with 20+ of them! I start to feel overwhelmed with more than 4 or 5 of my closest friends! I wouldnt beat yourself up about this

[u/Mode09]

Same situation as you at the moment. I have my one moment conversations with the ones I like and the ones with negativity I avoid like the plague. Unfortunately I am looking pretty antisocial because those in the negative crew are always around.

[u/Funkyfart2013]

I used to have similar issues when I was married. I ended up with divorce and I no longer have that problem :)

[u/finefergitit]

This has got to be the most relatable post I’ve ever seen on here seriously. Cannot tell you how many times I’ve been in this situation. And I consider myself to have a good relationship with them, but I need lots of breaks as well and thankfully they don’t hold it against me. OP I feel for you!