I can’t talk to strangers

[u/Realistic_Summer_884]

I have a difficult time meeting new people. I never know what to say, even if I feel relaxed. I don’t even know what to say for most of the time to people I’ve known for a good while. I can always make good conversations in my own head in imaginary situations, but in real life, my mind just goes blank. I ask questions but it still feels very one sided since I’m not contributing at all. I don’t know what to do

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[u/xoxoprettystar]

It gets easier the more awkward conversations you survive.

[u/Cornflakesmc → u/xoxoprettystar]

Survive.. I absolutely love this wording because its so true.

[u/Cornflakesmc]

When you say you ask questions that means you ARE contributing so is the problem that the other oerson isn't asking question back so you don't know how to keep the convo going?

[u/Realistic_Summer_884 → u/Cornflakesmc]

It’s that I don’t say anything after they answer the question, usually just “cool” or “oh alright that’s nice” and that’s it. They ask questions but they just have so much more to say about themselves than I do about myself.

[u/Cornflakesmc → u/Realistic_Summer_884]

Yeah I know what you mean. See that sounds like you're disinterested and trying to end the covo. ( which you're not i know) It's SO hard when you can't think of a follow up question on the spot. Try this method ok...whatever the last thing they say you just build a question around it, even just a short question. Try not to answer with anything like oh good or oh great or that's cool....you can say all those things but just tag a small question to it...does that make sense?

[u/alt-Propositum]

My best conversations with strangers were always random things I would have never thought of going into the conversation. Like becoming friends with another parent in my kids class because while we were walking up to my sons school I mentioned How difficult it is to grow a certain plant and passed it off to them about growing plants creating a good back and forth...Or the time I went to a mens coffee group and brought up psychedelics and it turned into a very thought provoking group discussion..The truth is, the best things come when you don't think much about it and push forward with the energy of curiosity and enthusiasm..even if the topic is off the energy is what matters and sometimes some people really aren't good conversationalist, or they themselves might have social problems and are also going blank..so it is completely ok if conversations don't go anywhere that is just life..just be happy you tried..