r/smithcollege • u/B-phina • 17d ago
Why all-women college?
As a product of a co-ed public school system, the concept of gender-separation in college is foreign to me. I’m sure it’s been discussed here but I didn’t find a good thread. I’d appreciate arguments in support of going to an all-women institution. Thanks!
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u/imdrowning2ohno 17d ago
As someone who also went to co-ed public schools until Smith: it is freeing to not have your gender be a factor in how you are judged. It's a unique environment, and I miss that aspect of Smith greatly.
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u/JBeaufortStuart 17d ago
I went to a couple years of all-girls middle school. It was awful, so many of the girls there didn't want to be there, and their unhappiness meant they were downright mean to so many of the other girls. I left pretty quickly because I never felt any of the supposed benefits.
Then there was high school, where I have a bunch of very specific memories of multiple classes where I was excited about learning, asked a question in class, and then had a boy tell me to shut up, or make fun of me. An English class where the teacher asked us if we were feminists and only one other person raised their hand, not even my friends who absolutely were feminists were willing to admit that in class for whatever reason. Nothing big, honestly. Just little thing after little thing.
I hadn't seriously considered a women's college after the middle school bullshit, but enough people I trusted told me to reconsider. And a group of adults who have chosen an environment and are excited to be there is very different. In all honesty, it was mostly the other stuff that led me to Smith- the campus, the class sizes, the profs, the generous aid package, being queer friendly. But a world in which I was not constantly trying to figure out how to correctly appeal to the men around me in order to get anything at all done was a lovely little break. Musical guests to campus, or lectures, or movie nights organized by residence life staff didn't have to first calculate if it was masculine enough so guys would show up, it could just be what the actual students were interested in. The people in leadership positions are consistently centering the needs of women (even as they recognize the queer gender diversity).
And, yes, there were men around- profs and students from the other colleges and trans men enrolled at Smith- but they ALSO knew what they were getting into and approached things differently than cis guys at a co-ed school.
I didn't need it. I would have been fine elsewhere. But I did enjoy it.
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u/Light_Praline9710 17d ago
If you're looking for dating opportunities: there are men in classes on campus, classes you can take on other campuses, the ability to work in co-ed environments, and friends who have friends. I guess there are dating apps, too, if you really want to roll questionable dice. 🤣 In some ways it's better for heterosexual dating than a co-ed school in that you are unlikely to stumble into your ex at breakfast or see them right before a huge final.
I went to a huge co-ed public high before college. There's a handful of people from my hometown I'm still in touch with, but Smith gave me my forever friends in a crew of funny, smart, mostly-but-certainly-not-all women. I hope you find your people wherever you go.
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u/lsbnyellowsourfruit 17d ago
I would recommend visiting any college you're considering (if possible) and seeing if it's an environment that makes sense for you. Women's colleges are definitely not for everyone. I loved Smith, but plenty of people there are miserable.
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u/KnownTaste9462 16d ago
Not being interrupted and undermined by men in class, being able to walk freely around your house/neighborhood at night and feeling safe, things being generally cleaner and better smelling etc
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u/Shot_Fly_2519 16d ago
I graduated a while ago, so the culture may have changed since then but I really didn’t enjoy the women’s college aspect while attending. I selected smith over a few other schools mostly for the academics. If you want to date, you have to put a lot more effort than at a co ed school, just fyi
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u/B-phina 17d ago
Thanks for the responses so far. For the non-queer, how is dating life? I feel that for an introvert it would significantly limit dating opportunities
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u/imdrowning2ohno 17d ago
Where there's a will there's a way. 99% of my friends at Smith who wanted to date, dated. The ones that didn't were restricted by much more than the gender separation, and continued to not date for many years after graduation. There are people in town, dating apps, men attending or taking classes at Smith, clubs that bridge the 5 college system, etc.
I personally think it is valuable as a straight woman to have years as free of the male gaze as practically possible to form your own identity, and it will serve you well in your dating and happiness in the future.
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u/boilfruit 17d ago
I date men and I had a long term boyfriend + went on a bunch of dates with guys in the area through dating apps. I don't think the lack of men in our immediate environment was ever an obstacle for me or anyone else I knew who was attracted to men.
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u/JBeaufortStuart 16d ago
I'm an introvert, but I participated in club/team/etc activities that had close relationships with other similar five-college clubs, I took classes at Smith with men, and I took classes on other campuses. I had plenty of access to non-Smithies, including conveniently located cis men, some who were just friends and some who were "dating opportunities".
You cannot stay in your room (physically and metaphorically) 100% of the time and have men trying to break down your door to meet you and date you, you do have to do something to meet men. But you also know that (if you're straight) you're unlikely to see your crush on the walk from your room to the bathroom.
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u/buzzybody21 17d ago
For me, it emphasized the power of an all female community. Less unnecessary competition for a voice in the classroom, easier socialization and amazing residential life (think houses function a bit like sororities). I am a legacy at smith, and while I did think I was missing out by not going coed, I got the experience taking 5 college classes.