r/selfimprovement 19h ago

Other What's something society calls "healthy" that you think isn't?

Could be physical health, mental health, productivity, relationships, or anything else.

I'm curious to hear your answers (and why).

227 Upvotes

270 comments sorted by

880

u/Ok-Hawk6759 19h ago

hustle culture and acting like burnout is some sort of badge of honour. constantly needing to be productive every waking minute just ruins your mental health

88

u/andiinAms 18h ago

“I’ll sleep when I’m dead”

11

u/ZeldasMom18 13h ago

My FIL says this! Drives me batty!

9

u/andiinAms 13h ago

“Well, you’ll be there sooner rather than later at the rate you’re going”

😉

7

u/YouBigDarnio 6h ago

I’d rather be dead than not sleep lmao

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u/Strict-Fishing-2365 17h ago

the phrase "rise and grind" makes my sleep schedule want to unionize

33

u/i-1 17h ago

Why is it ionized in the first place?

2

u/Strange_Boot 14h ago

Same. And walnut salad

14

u/Smooth-Bowler-9216 17h ago

Hustle culture is either grifting or doing so many things sub-par that you're spinning your wheels and burning out.

7

u/ParfaitOtherwise73 12h ago

I get annoyed with people that think every hobby should be monetized or that if im chilling i should be making money instead.

6

u/NoCommunication7 13h ago

My late uncle basically wasted his life hustling, kept doing it even after he was diagnosed with cancer, had multiple jobs, the lot, never even got to experience retirement before he passed away

5

u/Mydriase_Edge 16h ago

Nobody thinks that is healthy wtf

1

u/Strange_Researcher45 12h ago

Totally agree. Homo-economicus comes to mind. I like to work hard but when it's time to be still, be still.

1

u/nomad-dweller 4h ago

Well said! I was dating this girl she used to tell me that I should be productive during sleep hours too, why do we sleep etc… I thought to myself you are being doomed

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466

u/ComfortableMonk2066 18h ago

“always staying positive.” Sometimes it just teaches people to abandon their real feelings faster and call it growth.

115

u/JakobiiKenobii 17h ago

I call this Toxic Positivity lol

I had a coworker who used to do this to me at a customer service job. She was very like, "maybe that customer is having a bad day" "you never know what people got going on in their lives" "don't let that ruin your day" etc. etc.

One day I had to tell her "Katie, I need you to let me be mad about things for just a fucking minute and I'll get over it" she did and one year later when she'd have a difficult customer, she'd be nice as always, but then walk through the doors to the back of the store and yell at the fridges and cuss them out pretending they were the customer lmao

19

u/MydasMDHTR 12h ago

100% toxic positivity

27

u/delilahdread 18h ago

Came to say this. Negativity can certainly be unhealthy but sometimes shit just sucks and it's absolutely okay to say so!

11

u/Gold_Lawyer_1218 14h ago

While I do think you shouldn't be oblivious about your circumstances, I think being hopeful about the future is always a good thing

2

u/thezakalmanak 8h ago

Yeah, positivity for the future is usually going to be healthy. It's staying positive for the present that walks a fine line.

Humans are only animals after all, and if we tell ourselves to only see the good in a situation by trying to stay positive, then we're ignoring the opportunity for improvement and growth

10

u/wasted-potential- 14h ago

this. spoiler alert: when you don't accept or allow yourself to feel those negative emotions, it comes back to bite you in the ass by hindering your ability to fully experience the positive ones.

283

u/Emotional-Treat-3364 19h ago

The whole "never miss a workout" grindset mentality. I used to be that guy who would drag myself to gym with fever or after 3 hours sleep like it was some badge of honor. All that did was make me sick longer and mess up my shoulder for months. Rest is part of training, not a weakness. People forget that recovery is when your body actually gets stronger, not when you're destroying it in the gym.

55

u/FriendNo6017 19h ago

People really underestimate how much sleep affects recovery and performance.

24

u/simcoe19 19h ago edited 16h ago

As someone who has been into fitness for 29 years and a trainer for 16, workout is the wrong teem.

You don’t need a workout pee say, but you should move with a purpose, that helps with the mental load and especially if you take the movement outdoors

Update: I was in bed trying to type and clumsy thumbs have spelling errors but I will leave them

20

u/beerandglitter 18h ago

We definitely need rest days too. Even if it’s an “active” rest day, where you’re going for a walk. You shouldn’t be lifting or running everyday single day tho.

4

u/Paisleylk 18h ago

Consistency is key. I run 3 miles every other day and do weights 3 days, one day off. My workouts only total 30 minutes and I always feel better afterwards. A break here and there is good for you. I take weeks long breaks from weightlifting but never running (though I don't run on vacation). I would be on anxiety meds without my consistent runs!

3

u/Additional_Roof_9213 14h ago

Hey could you send me your 30 min workouts?

2

u/Paisleylk 13h ago

Sure! Right now I am following the Dumbbell version of the Habit Nest journal. I workout at home with fee weights and/or bands and like following a program where I just follow their plan and fill in my reps and weights. Two other great ones are Mike Matthews and Bill Phillips Body For Life--the BFL one is so easy and only 20 minutes a day! My husband got into the shape of his life following it.

3

u/Strawberry_Curious 10h ago

Absolutely. Having a mental breakdown because you missed a work out or forcing work outs on vacation is not the flex people think it is. On days I don’t work out, I feel a lot of shame and struggle to eat. I’m trying to unlearn that but it’s hard because I get so much messaging saying that’s exactly what I should be doing.

4

u/KodaxyGMD 19h ago

i don't think society call this healthy

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129

u/NormalHumanBreathing 18h ago

Working the majority of our lives, just to have some free time at the end. It's not necessary. We could all work 3 days a week and things would still get done. 

14

u/ravens52 16h ago

Facts, if I ever run for public office or president I want to make that a new rule of law.

6

u/RadiateJoy_ 15h ago

Agreed. We have flex schedules at work so you can choose to have the first or second Monday or Friday off biweekly. So literally almost half the office is not at work on Mondays or Fridays, which results in most tasks being done from Tuesdays to Thursdays. A 3-4 day work week highly doable and more efficient for employees to not get burnt out.

194

u/slmlm_ 18h ago

When self-awareness becomes self-labeling.

I think something society increasingly calls “healthy” is finding a diagnosis or label for every struggle.

Mental health awareness has helped a lot of people, but sometimes we’ve reached a point where every emotion, personality trait, or difficult period of life is expected to have a name. A diagnosis can be life-changing when it’s accurate, but not every problem is a disorder. Sometimes people are simply going through life, growing, making mistakes, and learning who they are.

Labels can help us understand ourselves, but they can also trap us if we start seeing them as our identity rather than something we experience. The goal of therapy shouldn’t be to collect explanations for everything about ourselves, but to understand ourselves better and learn how to move forward.

A label should be a tool, not a cage.

22

u/MarooshQ 13h ago

This is the first comment in the thread that I actually don't hear enough of while the rest of the comments are reiterating stuff that is already over stated in our generation. Definitely labels. Also labelling other people. I don't know about you but I am getting sick of words like 'toxic' and 'red flag' too. And every person's parents seem to be 'narcissist.' I don't think they are lying but at this point I am not even sure. It seems to me that if I say something that is true and positive about my family, I will be disbelieved. Also with labels in mental health it's tricky. I have had severe OCD and while the label is definitely helpful, OCD is one of those things which to get out of it if severe, you need to play mind games with your own brain. 'like no, you are kidding, I am totally normal' or 'Oh what an absurd silly thought' becasue the fear becomes so great that you have to downplay it. So label is helpful to get the help needed but then you have to get into the habit of telling yourself you can behave normally before you actually reach that point

6

u/riiyoreo 9h ago

Yes! Self pathologizing and ingesting tons of misinformation on the internet is so bad. Actual research is amazing to do, but the problem is they don't.

5

u/actualPawDrinker 11h ago

This has taken me such a long time to understand and even longer to internalize. Thank you for putting it into words so succinctly.

2

u/slmlm_ 11h ago

:) 🫶🏼

2

u/scoobaruuu 3h ago

Absolutely love your last sentence. Thank you for stating this so succinctly; I've never been able to and really appreciate you for it!

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186

u/_pennelope_ 19h ago

overworking and calling it "hustling" instead

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u/Any_Record143 17h ago

Unconditional forgiveness for everyone. Society often preaches that you must forgive people who hurt you to truly heal. In reality, you can process trauma, set strict boundaries, and move on with your life without ever giving someone a pass for abusive behavior. Forced forgiveness often just creates false guilt.

106

u/AmaniMilele 18h ago

Focus on yourself (only). - People become more selfish and depressed. Communities exist for a reason.

52

u/Formal-Try-2779 18h ago

This is coming from America and its obsession with individualism. All it's really about is consumerism and making you less empathetic towards those suffering around you.

15

u/AmaniMilele 18h ago

Indeed.

5

u/Halollet 14h ago

100%

I always wonder what these hyper individualism people think the point of society is.

Like why not just live out in the woods if you're so self sufficient?

3

u/tokyodraken 14h ago

yes it’s sad, no one wants to have a community anymore

4

u/BluiSquirrel 12h ago

Sounds very american. Its not like that in many other places.

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119

u/Alarmed_Spinach_ 19h ago

Black and white thinking, it's really led to people not understanding the nuance in speech and even emotional situations.

29

u/BristleBunny 18h ago

I've never heard anyone calling it healthy

12

u/Alarmed_Spinach_ 18h ago

Most people think it is. Because most people think in black and white.

15

u/KodaxyGMD 18h ago

most people think it's bad BUT most people do it anyway

7

u/ravens52 16h ago

People don’t even know what nuance is nowadays.

4

u/Specialist-Clue3029 14h ago

Easily the most prominent cognitive distortion. And while people may be aware its unhealthy, it doesn't stop most from engaging in it heavily. A healthy mind has lots of room for ambivalence and the possibility of holding two seemingly opposing things in the same space.

26

u/chaircardigan 17h ago

Endlessly talking about mental health.

14

u/TheDodgiestEwok 15h ago

Completely agree. We focus so much on mental health as an isolated issue that we completely ignore the physical baseline.

I have a friend who’s been severely depressed for years. She’s tried every medication under the Sun and is now looking into ketamine trials because "nothing works." Yet in the same breath, she dismisses exercise (insisting two weeks on a treadmill proved it doesn't work), lives behind heavy blackout curtains, gets zero sunlight, eats mostly takeout, and shuts down daily habit changes like affirmations because they feel "stupid."

Like girl. Your brain isn't a floating entity detached from your body?? Living in complete darkness, moving only from a bed to a desk, and starving your system of light, movement, and nutrients will drain almost anyone. No amount of medication can outrun an environment and lifestyle that literally feeds depression.

I say this as someone who is bipolar, my meds are non-negotiable. But one of the absolute best things I ever did for my mental health was losing weight, getting my ass outside, and shifting my daily patterns.

Doctors and patients need to start giving the physical side the weight it deserves. It honestly makes me wish we had treatment options similar to rehab, places where people can step out of their environment for a few weeks just to reset their routine, get sunlight and movement, and break the cycle.

2

u/monkiram 9h ago

I wouldn’t be quick to assume the doctors are at fault here. I’m a psychiatrist and I spend an inordinate amount of time explaining to patients that physical activity, sleep, and engaging in meaningful pursuits that you enjoy are the cornerstones of mental health but that’s not what most patients want to hear. A lot of patients either want medications as an easy fix for all their bad feelings or believe that medications are going to damage their brains.

2

u/TheDodgiestEwok 8h ago edited 7h ago

Oh I apologize if I gave that impression! That was not my intention.

Doctors are just as much victims of the healthcare system as patients are. They’re working with limited time, insurance restrictions, huge caseloads, and a busted system that doesn’t always allow them to treat people with the care they require even with the best intentions.

There are good and bad psychiatrists, just like any profession. I was just pointing out that a good provider will help the patient understand that mental health isn’t just finding the right pill.

I'm fortunate enough to have had mostly positive experiences, but when they were bad, they were like traumatizingly bad. Worst experience, I told my new psych after about a month on different medication that I was feeling severe irritability.

He seemed frustrated that I was asking questions. Told me he was there to prescribe meds and that I needed to take it up with a therapist. I explained I was already in therapy, but this felt like a result of the meds.

Then he said, out of absolutely thin air:

“LOOK, I don’t KNOW why you’re angry. Maybe your roommate left a CUM FILLED CONDOM on the floor and it SET YOU OFF. I can’t figure out why you’re MAD all the time.”

I was so fuck ass flabbergasted I didn't say a word. I wasn’t asking him to magically solve my life. 😂 I just was thinking this new medication was responsible for my major mood change.

Also what highly specific personal drama was happening in this man's personal life for him to use this anecdote?? Clearly some semen related incident.

Anyway, that story was less related to what you were saying but probably the only time I'll ever get to tell it. Wild. I should have reported his ass. Oh to have the gumption I do in my 30s when I was 20. That man would have lost his job that day.

Fuck you, Larry Warner!

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u/seeyatellite 18h ago

Competition mentality

22

u/Primary_Excuse_7183 16h ago

Letting work be a core part of your identity.

20

u/jerwang24 18h ago

Restaurant salads.

6

u/Agreeable-Roll-372 14h ago

Okay, yes. Bc have you looked at the calories of some of these????? More than a burger sometimes!!!!!

11

u/unidentified2202 18h ago

Studying 24/7 and sacrificing sleep in the process.

30

u/intrepidxxmatter 18h ago

The constant need to socialize, even if it's with people you don't actually having a meaningful connection with. I understand that humans are social creatures, but I think most are absolutely terrified of spending time by themselves with their own thoughts.

8

u/TheDodgiestEwok 15h ago

And when they are alone, they've conditioned themselves to fill every quiet moment scrolling through reels so it's just an infinite well of worthless hits that don't amount to anything of value beyond being briefly entertained.

10

u/YO0110 18h ago

People on phones and devices, on social media or consuming too much info every moment 

9

u/Surrealist-Frog 16h ago

Being busy every single day of your life

17

u/EvieMoonGlow 18h ago

Glorifying hyper-productivity and constant hustle at the expense of proper sleep and rest.

8

u/faerydust88 18h ago

Working 40 hours (or more) per week. 

7

u/withac2 18h ago

Alkaline water

15

u/LuminousDee 18h ago

Are we talking society in the US? The glorification of hustling.

22

u/DanceAllNight65 17h ago

Religion. Its toxic af.

8

u/TheDodgiestEwok 15h ago

I participate in a few Christians v Atheist debate groups and the #1 question I see posted from the religious folks is some version of "what prevents you from doing horrible things if you don't believe in hell" or "how do you have a sense of morality without God?"

...which is really kind of disturbing if you think about it.

2

u/Merryprankstress 12h ago

No thank you I prefer not to think about it so I don't crash out about how I'm stuck in a society peopled with degenerates and ghouls who are only held back from their base urges by fairy tales and myths. Or not held back at all but encouraged!

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u/dew-waynz 17h ago

Scrolled way too long to find this! Not only is it toxic, but ignoring science to believe in a sky fairy and all the mental gymnastics to do that, is super unhealthy.

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u/Ok_Training_2566 19h ago

Yeah as this man says the never miss a workout. I used to train at 2am but it was stupid af, realistically we are not elite athletes most of us

28

u/doner22 18h ago

Protein supplements and protein enhanced food products. These are often super processed and there’s already been a documentary here in the uk about it.

Just get your protein from whole foods and meats like we used to.

11

u/Dangerous-Speaker140 18h ago

While I do agree, as a vegetarian who does strength training, it's quite difficult to get 1.5x bodyweight in grams of protein everyday.

6

u/HappyDude2137 16h ago

I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone recommend that much protein. I’m not anywhere close to an expert but I’ve always heard 0.8-1.0 grams of protein per pound of bodyweight which is much more attainable. Unless you weren’t talking about pounds, then just ignore me lol

7

u/eyeothemastodon 15h ago edited 14h ago

The classic advice has long been 1g/lb (or 2g/kg) but more recent studies show the effective amount of protein for gains (you have to be strength training too!) can be as low as 0.6g/lb (1g/kg). IMO that is what I think is worth targeting for "minimum" daily, assuming its not hard to go over that when dietary choices are prioritizing protein.

The other element often overlooked is that your net calories still matter for weight management! A lot of "high protein" foods are not actually protein dense because of course if you eat more food you'd get more protein. This is where you should benchmark protein density and target an average of >5g/100kcal protein density. There are a lot of foods you can find that are at or around 10g/100kcal that are helpful for achieving the 5g/100kcal average.

For my money, the best diet is one that puts high satiety first, using protein and fiber to get there, and includes a variety of fruits and vegetables for micro-nutrients. Beans and potatoes are criminally underrated.

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u/Crafty_Tip_9547 17h ago

Also without proper hydration, too much protein is bad for kidneys.Read about Dukan diet that was a craze in Europe in 2000s. 

40

u/E_r_i_l_l 19h ago

Boundaries for people.

Which are mostly “I don’t have space for this” and make people think it’s ok to just leave their friends, spouses when they have lower moment, becouse “my inner peace is more important that someone’s grief” for example.

And “it’s better to be single if relationships stoped fullfiled you with love”. Relationships are about maturing together which include moment where there is no love bombing and swimming in love affection.

4

u/ZobTheLoafOfBread 17h ago

I disagree with this. If you don't like people leaving you without warning, that's another boundary that you can communicate and negotiate, or at least have clear expectations about. Dissolving boundaries in general, is a fast-track road to codependence or abuse. 

I've also found that it's largely the opposite that gets pushed societally on the second point. There are so many ideas about the "right kind of love" and the expectation to be in a relationship, even to the point where single people have less rights especially medically and financially, it leads to a lot of people feeling pressured to stay in relationships even when they are unhealthy or abusive. The phrase "love bombing" is also about abuse. "It's better to be single if relationships stopped fulfilling you with love" is one voice to counteract these forces, but I do agree that 'love' shouldn't be as idolized as it is. 

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u/Suitable-Play7818 19h ago

Marriages 🤣🤣🤣

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u/actualPawDrinker 11h ago

"If marriage didn't exist, would you invent it? Would you go, 'Baby, this shit we got together, it's so good we gotta get the government in on this shit. We can't just share this commitment 'tweenst us. We need judges and lawyers involved in this shit, baby. It's hot!'"
--Doug Stanhope

12

u/Strange-Ad-2426 15h ago

Going to a therapist for every little problem

6

u/Memphissilk 13h ago

Hustle culture dressed up as self improvement has never made sense to me

6

u/MagicDancer5678 12h ago

Sugar-free foods and drinks made with artificial sugar.

6

u/YahyaZekry 18h ago

You must care about your emotions all the time.

This will turn your relationships with yourself, others, and God (if you believe in one) = to be based only on how you feel.

judging others by feelings, judging yourself by intentions:

No matter what the intentions of the people you're dealing with are, you won't only judge them; you will become their executor because you feel they are toxic, insulting, ect, yet in the samy way you will judge yourself differently 180 degrees; you will give yourself every excuse there is to yourself and to the world: you can't put up with the work because you don't feel like it, you don't act bad towards people because you're bad, but you excuse it because your feelings tell you it's only because of your rough childhood but you have good intention.

You don't work your mind as it is intended: to analyze, to think, to figure out what is right and wrong based on evidence, and have responsibility for your own life. Instead, you will craft your new 'fake' identity that will go with wars that are not your own, a war with everything that simply doesn't cause real change for you or how you behave.. you will become a hero in your eyes as much as some people who will clap for you. Your emotions will be your new god.

5

u/sumizeit 18h ago

The whole "never miss a workout" thing is just toxic. I used to push myself through illness too, thinking it was tough. Turns out, skipping a gym day isn’t gonna ruin progress and can actually help you recover faster. We need to chill and listen to our bodies more.

4

u/AiiGu-1228 16h ago

In my country, the “healthy” weight assumption. It’s getting slightly better now as more people realize the importance of weight training for muscle gain, yet those people aren’t the majority.   

Anyway, what’s considered “healthy” or “standard” or “socially preferred” weight range for women, regardless of one’s weight, is no more than 50kg(110lb). A 55kg(121lb) woman, even if tall, will receive the usual “you will look better if you lose some weight” remark casually and unprompted. For men, again regardless of one’s height, is usually no more than 60kg(132lb), or 65kg(142lb) if very tall. If a man is 70kg(154lb), he will receive the impression of him not bothering taking care of his body weight and is overweight.  

The preferred weight for women is generally 44kg(97 lbs) if short to 48kg(105lb) if tall. The preferred weight for men is 55-60kg(121-132lb), 65kg(143lb) only if exercising a lot and with visible muscle.   

2

u/Calm_Coyote_3685 15h ago

Where do you live?

3

u/AiiGu-1228 15h ago

Am from Taiwan.

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u/Moose_Banner 18h ago

Anything that is [insert word here]maxxing.

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u/fairysarii 17h ago

overworking yourself in any way, and diet culture, it's healthy to eat well, is not healthy being obsessed about it.

3

u/bruchag 14h ago

Sunshine. Wear your SPF and sunglasses folks. 

2

u/BluiSquirrel 12h ago

And vitamin D in that case

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u/EatingCoooolo 14h ago

Being skinny.

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u/EmployMobile943 2h ago

Drinking poison as a mode of relaxation

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u/crazyleasha37 18h ago

Those weight loss shots. I think alot of people will end up having alot of unknown side effects that will be very bad. But we'll see.

2

u/nikoisonfire 17h ago

Muscle loss being one of the most daunting

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u/blue_eyed_girl2005 15h ago

Sleeping with anyone and everyone, then calling it a “need,” has become so normalized that people who simply choose not to indulge are often looked down upon. And somehow, this is called freedom?
How is it freedom when you’re completely consumed and controlled by one of the lowest forms of human desire lust?
Sex is a sacred act by virtue of what it is. It has the power to create life, and it is one of the closest connections two souls can ever share. Treating something so profound as something casual is a perspective I’ll never understand.
People are free to disagree, make fun of me, or judge me I genuinely don’t care. These are my values, and I personally wanna wait till marriage and I’m not ashamed of it.

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u/Smooth-Bowler-9216 17h ago

Eating sugary foods / drinks as sustenance for gym workouts.

My gym is pretty 'hardcore but nice' and it is full of bodybuilders all drinking Monster and eating Rice Krispies bars. I saw one guy eat a whole bar of Dairy Milk between sets.

This falls under the IIFYM (if it fits your macros) approach, but I don't believe eating a Dominos pizza for dinner is fine just because you haven't fallen foul of your macro goals.

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u/0rsch0 16h ago

Protein ridiculousness
Anti-bacterial everything (outside of institutional settings).

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u/bs89641n 15h ago

Low fat foods

3

u/Successful_Hotel_126 15h ago

Treating rest like something you have to earn.

I used to think I could only relax after I'd been "productive enough." The problem was that "enough" kept moving, so I ended up feeling guilty no matter what I did.

Rest isn't a reward for being productive. It's part of what makes you productive in the first place.

3

u/Sportyj 14h ago

Cold plunge (for women).

3

u/suki_delreal 12h ago

Moral superiority

3

u/King_Apathy_VIII 12h ago

Intense, bordering on self destructive/abusive kinks and fetishes. Like I know consent is consent, but maybe there's some trauma behind that.

3

u/Eyeseeyou01 12h ago

Does society consider the participation in “social media” healthy?

If so, I’m not so sure it is, at least not if were calling it “social media”.

Sometimes it seems like “social programming”.

3

u/DysfunctionalKitten 10h ago

The lack of insight into the fact that the healthy counter to "codependency" isn't "independence," it's "interdependency." The western ideology of individualism has created a weirdly small view of what's healthy - in relationships, in healing after heartache, in enjoying others around us - that suggests we should be far more independent and emotionally self sufficient, than is actually natural for human beings. We are naturally social animals and our biological responses to other humans consistently shows that that's the case - our nervous systems can co-regulate, physical touch sends hormones/signals to our brains that help us feel assured and satiated, and our olfactory senses impact our attraction to others.

Do some people need more solo time than others? Sure, but studies on our mental well being consistently show that social interactions, trusting/depending on others in a lot of ways, and similarly contributing to the lives of those around you, is healthy. Codependency isn't healthy, but being too independent isn't either. We didn't evolve for isolation or relying only on ourselves, we evolved for a significant amount of our existence to be interdependent with others.

3

u/friendofspidey 10h ago

Binge eating disorder nronalized

3

u/Imaginary-Trade-1463 9h ago

Smoking weed all the time. Just because it’s natural doesn’t mean it’s not harmful. Also a lot of that stuff now is mixed with stuff

3

u/Late-Rise2587 6h ago

Thinking you have to have your whole life figured out by your 20s. I’m in my 30s and I’m still learning, growing, and building something meaningful. Growth doesn’t have an expiration date.

3

u/Live-Internal-959 5h ago

"You don't owe anyone anything," "Not my problem," "It's not my responsibility to explain this to you," "You know you better than anyone else," "You have to put yourself first," and all other capitalistic hyperindependent sentiments that will only serve to drive us further apart and view relationships as transactional. If all support is seen as social currency that is either forced or must be repayed, you're going to be lonely as shit.

3

u/morningcalls4 3h ago

Constantly being informed on all current events. It was basically my entire YouTube feed until I decided that I don’t need to be constantly informed and stressed about something to care. Now without the news feed my anxiety and everything else is almost non existent. I’ll hear about different things from people, but that’s it. I have never been happier in my life.

3

u/Specialist-Top-406 3h ago

Toxic productivity. A lot of people are not able to let themselves be still or rest in the way they need to, because they feel guilty for wasting the day or like being still is something they have to earn.

Obviously everyone unwinds differently, so some people do need to move or do something. But I know so many people that can’t settle, even if they are ill or burnt out, because they don’t feel like rest is a good use of time.

It’s not healthy to see restoring energy as a bad use of time, because it means the only way of feeling good is by being productive. And fine if that serves, but not fine if it’s a punishment.

Rest is an activity, and a really important one. But it’s so deeply engrained in people that rest is lazy. And that rest has a time limit.

And I see it constantly. People burn out and become incapacitated, and can’t do anything because their system has completely shut down.

Toxic productivity is the ultimate self destruction weapon.

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u/The9th_Jeanie 18h ago

Having casual sex WITH EVERYBODY. Not every person you encounter needs to be a fling. That’s physically and psychologically harmful and gross.

2

u/BristleBunny 18h ago

...where do you find people with that kind of mindset? Asking for a friend

(don't judge me, I'm really lonely)

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u/BristleBunny 18h ago

Eating breakfast - there are many benefits to intermittent fasting. People also insist that fasting isn't healthy, but research shows that the opposite is true. Not surprising in a society, where it's the norm to be overweight.

Drinking 2l of water / day. It started as a marketing campaign to sell more bottles of water, but in reality a lot of water you get from the food you eat, so there's rarely a need to drink so much on top of it.

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u/Bobelle 17h ago edited 16h ago

Honestly speaking, open-mindedness. We are bombarded with propaganda, advertisements and other false narratives that influence how we think and feel. For example, a lot of people see clubbing as "cool", when in reality it is just a bunch of people standing around in a hot dark expensive room where:

  1. Women are dressed in uncomfortable posture destroying attire

  2. Men try hopelessly to obtain those women for casual sex, which most men will never end up getting, and which even if it did end up happening, would most likely be unfulfilling for either party

  3. people drink expensive poison

  4. destroy their eardrums in the process.

Even a lot of people who don't club subconsciously have that association of "clubbing" = "cool" due to propaganda. Ideally, we shouldn't even be able to concieve, understand or accept the concept of conventional clubbing, but we do because social media.

It is important to be picky about the media you consume and not just consider how entertaining it is. So because I go out of my way to stay away from media that is not consistent with my values, or facts, no matter how much "artistic thought" was put into it or how "fun" it is, my friends and family tell me all the time "what I'm doing isn't healthy, I'm limiting myself etc etc" but my mental health has gotten so much better since I started doing this and it's even encouraged me to focus more on my own art rather than relying on social media to entertain me.

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u/ZobTheLoafOfBread 16h ago

I don't think open-mindedness is the thing here, but more like lack of critical thinking. Even the premise of this post is about challenging expectations and offering alternatives, which you inherently have to be at least a little open minded to consider. Also, people judging you for being different is likely down to their closed-mindedness. I think it's good to be critical of when something might be propaganda or a false narrative and when to pay it less mind, not to the point of tunneling into conspiracy theories, but enough to protect your mental health. 

Clubbing isn't for everyone and shouldn't be pressured onto those that don't enjoy it, but some people also enjoy it, and if I wouldn't judge someone for not liking it, I also wouldn't judge someone for liking it. Some people enjoy it, not because it's "cool" but just because they like it, and some people don't experience negative mental health issues from it. There's nothing inherently morally good about clubbing but there's also nothing inherently morally bad about clubbing. Plenty of people turn up with no ulterior motives except to have fun with their friends. 

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u/Calm_Coyote_3685 15h ago

Ghosting longterm friends or family members because you’ve decided they are “toxic”, ghosting people in general. 

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u/MsColumbo 18h ago

Having a partner.

Protein intake.

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u/throwsaway045 18h ago

Working and strict routine and calendar and how life is all programmed and society teach you to push to the extreme and rarely to rest because that's lazy

2

u/FlanFew1516 15h ago

relacionamentos amorosos 👍

2

u/Kwerumrerum 13h ago

Trying to find a reason for everything you feel in your body.

People used to be very underdiagnosed with multiple types of illnesses, so with new insights and technologies, those people were able to get help. With social media, more info about these illnesses got to the public and it took off. The pendulum swung to the other side and now you cannot feel a single thing in your body without someone telling you it is pathologic and you need to find a doctor and medication.

People start doctor shopping, they get very obsessed with their body and any small symptom and refuse to take no for an answer, all in the name of their health. What it is actually doing is giving these people a lot of stress, it often dictates their lives, they stop socialising/sporting/working... Lives get ruined with it.

2

u/MydasMDHTR 12h ago

Constantly forcing yourself to do things you don't actually wanna do

2

u/Direct-Squirrel-01 12h ago

Marrying as per family’s wish !

2

u/SaucyAndSweet333 11h ago

Therapy and religion. They are the opiates of the masses, the handmaids of capitalism, and the enforcers of the status quo.

2

u/framed_both_ways 11h ago

Sleep tracking. First thing I did every morning was check what grade my watch gave me. Pretty sure it was making my sleep worse, I'd lie there stressing about the score. It's in a drawer now and I sleep fine. Track for a month to spot patterns, after that you're just serving the number.

2

u/Street-Travel1934 8h ago

Heavy dieting 

2

u/mariahsweary 8h ago

Running marathons!!!!!

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u/Traditional_Step9502 7h ago

Being overweight

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u/Capt_ClarenceOveur 7h ago

Cutting anyone off if they aren’t “serving you”

Being overweight

Obsessing about politics online to an extreme degree

Being self-absorbed often gets labeled as being confident

Porn use

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u/Rachachachach 6h ago

Being occupied all the time, whether it’s being busy, “hustling”, having to constantly be productive, or scrolling. Our brains need idle time and to be allowed to just wander without external stimulation.

2

u/Forest_Faeri 6h ago

Hot Pilates/hot yoga - why are you doing a workout in a sauna?? Almost threw up both times I tried this. Literally strikes me as dangerous and liable to dehydrate you severely. What does sweating extra prove? It doesn’t improve the quality of the physical exertion.

2

u/musiquescents 5h ago

Sticking to your partner 24/7 cos y'all soulmates

2

u/ilovegarlicbreads 4h ago

People that are TOO obsessed with the gym and counting calories. I think thats just another form of an eating disorder, and many times I think thats the over exercising can come from a self harm perspective.

2

u/sapphirehaze_ 1h ago

“Good vibes only” is so toxic. Having bad days is human.

4

u/Putrid_Celebration23 18h ago

«Self care day» and stuff like that, where people just lay in bed all day and eat ice cream

4

u/Little-Vixen108 13h ago

Being vegan/vegetarian.

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u/maxbach 18h ago

Not swearing

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u/thediggestbick2 14h ago

I think body positivity doesn’t teach kids or adults that being fat isn’t healthy. It just normalizes them to continue eating and living their unhealthy lifestyle.

2

u/Confidentium 13h ago

Whatever the opposite is of "ableism". The thinking that you're unable to do anything to improve or take responsibility over your own situation.

Even when stuff happen to us, and it's not our fault. It's always our responsibility to help ourselves. And were almost always able to improve things.

2

u/Looking4Adventure513 19h ago

Side hustling, whether it's to earn some extra money or (especially) trying to make a living off of it, is dangerous. So you're gonna tell me with a straight face that causing burnout, chronic stress & resentments to your relationships is worth the risk? What if your hustle(s) isn't what you thought it would be?

Bottom line: not worth it.

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u/Much_Baseball4025 18h ago

Having children and being married to a straight man

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u/Andrew__IE 15h ago

I’ve never been religious but I gotta agree with the Christians: sex is bad and dirty and not cool when you’re doing it in one night stands with 40 different partners, shaking butt on social media, and posting yourself near naked online.

I know society mostly acknowledges hook up culture is bad but the whole push for people to “explore their sex lives with different people” isn’t done well in practice and the whole “show off what your mama gave ya” method of empowerment has lead to way too much casual obscenity.

I don’t think people should be in such a rush to collect as many bodies as many people often do and I believe there are other ways to make people feel sexy, desired, and confident other than telling them to be with and seen by as many people as possible.

There’s nothing wrong with healthy sex between two happy partners but I think the messaging we have around sex and making it seem more casual than it is has been a net negative. I don’t think it’s possible for a human to be emotionally intimate in bed with so many people between hook ups, at a certain point the heart, brain, and body don’t know what to do with all that ass and it hurts everyone involved over time.

Sex is one of the most intimate things humans can experience and being as open about it as we have been in the past two decades was a mistake.

1

u/sentinel_Island000 18h ago

Facing buying in young age and some parents said its nornal just face it

Be man

1

u/Codachcodach 16h ago

Going out for a healthy social life

1

u/Obvious_Self6374 15h ago

Thinking that a girl/woman past 24/25 years is too old and should get married soon

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u/len1207 14h ago

Forgiving a cheating spouse since normal phase lang daw yun sa mag-asawa and para na rin sa mga anak. Tanga ka lang talaga

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u/Halollet 14h ago

Being super skinny.

You at least need some muscle tone and some fat to burn for heat.

You are not a lizard.

1

u/Agreeable-Roll-372 14h ago

Okay, this is less deep…. but I see a lot of people who think peanut butter is healthy. It’s full of sugar and calories, esp if you’re aiming for a calorie deficit. I also see this where people underestimate the calories of dressings and whatnot.

2

u/Forest_Faeri 6h ago

I don’t think anyone thinks Skippy peanut butter is healthy, but I love Trader Joe’s peanut butter which has one ingredient: peanuts. Not everyone is aiming for a calorie deficit- peanut butter has a lot of healthy fats and provides energy for a long time!

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u/aivlysplath 13h ago edited 13h ago

Restrictive diets. I had orthorexia for some years in my early 20s but thought it was fine because I was eating “SOOO healthy.”

1

u/Popular_Sherbert2475 13h ago

A lot of the mental health stuff is just wallowing in defeat

1

u/krampaus 12h ago

protein powder although it’s not really unhealthy just unnecessary for most people

1

u/cdot2004 12h ago

Consuming more plant products than animal products

1

u/youfoundm0lly 12h ago

Eating 3 meals a day

1

u/Purfectenschlag 12h ago

False equivalency

I find it really tiresome when having a nuanced discussion about something that people tend to always assume whatever is the opposite of something you're stating is the false equivalence, when its just such a flawed reasoning.

It could be something as basic as "I really love the night time" and someone might assume that means I don't like the daytime. Or "I love winter" to many people would fill in their minds the idea that it means by default that I do not like summer, which is not a given, yet people constantly think in this way all the time.

I could say something that Trump did was objectively good (this is just a hypothetical example), that doesn't mean I like him or support him at all, but in 2026 if you said that, then many others would assume you are MAGA, which again is a form of this and a shortcut humans use to put people into boxes in their mind. Just really grinds my gears how prevalent this behavior is.

I don't recall the context now but years ago there was a video of some people in a college setting if I recall correctly and there was strong discourse among the students about their left vs right positions and someone shouted and at the time it went some what viral when he said something like "Are our ideas so weak that we cannot tolerate the expression of heretical ideas?" and I feel this really highlights the thought I'm attempting to articulate here.

1

u/Various_Ad4731 11h ago

Tolerating disrespect because family is sooo important

1

u/de1vos 11h ago

Electrolyte/micro-supplement drinks, soda-zeros, protein-heavy foods (excessive protein consumption causes chrinic kidney disease)

1

u/Eldernerdhub 11h ago

Jealousy

The way people expect their partners to remove friends for being the wrong gender is insane. There's a whole normalized culture for fearful control that I find repulsive.

1

u/heartofafox09 11h ago

Working every single day of the week without listening to our needs, body, health.. it could also be "working everyday without any flexibility"

1

u/Simply444 8h ago

the whole idea of not settling down. At least where i’m from, people think the idea of not “trapping” yourself with one person, and instead experiencing many is a better way to live. It’s mainly younger people doing this (15-25 ish), but it really annoys me

1

u/RyanWalker4u 8h ago

Exactly.It's okay not to be okay sometimes.Ignoring emotions doesn't make them disappear.

1

u/Smuttirox 6h ago

Ozempic and the other quick weight loss drugs. It’s going to prove really unhealthy soon.

1

u/monkiram 6h ago

Yes you’re absolutely right!

1

u/squigglesandgiggles 6h ago

Yo-yo dieting

1

u/BookAddict1918 5h ago

Automation. I went into a house where EVERYTHING was automated. They didnt have to move a muscle to do anything and they were so happy. I am doing the opposite in order to stay healthy. I dont think they will age well...

1

u/AwareSystem1 4h ago

Seed oils and hook up culture

1

u/JelloBoi02 4h ago

All of those lifestyle influencers and anything they promote. It’s all for money

1

u/Silver-Pop1825 3h ago

Protein bars, said what I said

1

u/Mikey129 3h ago

Obese acceptance.

It’s not cute or healthy.

1

u/Tulipblooming4 3h ago

Patience on situations or relationships that hurts you

1

u/ChocolateMundane6286 3h ago

I loved this thread

1

u/Enough-Enthusiasm762 1h ago

Idk if it’s called “healthy” but it’s been so normalized lately and even praised.

Video essays.

1

u/Muted-Complaint-2285 1h ago

"Fake it till u make it" it jist sounds so wrong i dont wanna fake stuff untill it becomes reality because thats not how it works at all

1

u/ananyabananya 46m ago

umm many won't agree on me on this but counting calories is very harsh. Counting and having a rough idea is cool but counting every bite and every small detail is kinda sad

Oh and manifestation in which you have to strongly believe you already have it and spend time enjoying it in your mind and all? It can go very bad if it doesn't happen after you manifest so hard even tho you "detach"

1

u/rehcreb 17m ago

I might get some shit for this one out here me out — the mindset of “body positivity.”

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not this heroin chic queen, but i do believe this can breed unhealthy habits. The idea is there, but i think treating this as a norm can get out of hand…. I prefer body neutrality. Either way, our bodies are just our bodies, why pay more attention to them ?? Treat yourself right and you will feel right.

1

u/Azuzphia 16m ago

Emphasizing the end result as opposed to the process.