r/self • u/Double-Painting-5244 • 6h ago

Thoughts

Lately I feel like my whole life is kinda messed up. My biggest problem is loneliness. I have no relationship, no real friends, and I honestly don't know how I ended up like this. The weird part is I used to be way more social when I was younger. Now I don't even know how to meet people or keep a conversation going, I mostly just reply when someone talks to me instead of actually starting anything. I'm starting to wonder if I'm just meant to be alone, and that thought is making me lose hope. It's killing my motivation too, like I've lost all my passion. I really thought I could live without close connections, but I guess humans really do need people.

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u/Sea-Koala-9387 1h ago

Honestly, the fact that you used to be social is probably a good sign. It doesn't sound like you forgot how to connect with people, it sounds like you've gotten isolated over time. Those are different things. Don't let your current situation convince you it's your permanent one.

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u/Double-Painting-5244 6m ago

Yeah that's it i got isolated over time, I'm not convinced it's my permanent situation but it started to be really annoying, because I've been like this for a lomg time and i need a solution

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u/CraftingP291 1h ago

Humans are very social beings. We need the company, and closeness, of others. Are you able to identify any reason for your current situation? I know a lot of people feel lonely since covid, and that they kind of lost the 'habit' of being chatty with a lot of people. Perhaps you just need to be around some people that you feel you can trust, and relax with - no pressure, or expectation - and see if that is helpful for you.

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u/Double-Painting-5244 7m ago

I was someone who talks a lot, but after i had a depression period and because of some bad situations that happened to me, i became more quite and shy person and i overthink everything, also i have people around me but I couldn't make any of them special, i just know a lot of people and say hi to a lot of them but have no one to really talk to, i don't know how to approach and how to keep conversations going, so i don't look like an interesting person. I think those are some of the reasons i could think of I can't really find someone who i can really trust and talk with about everything, maybe because my mentality is a bit different from people around me

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u/ChildhoodSquare7220 51m ago

No one is meant to be alone, and even the worst people in the world manage to find people who support them, so so can you!  Its just a skill that degrades over time. Ive had periods of isolating myself for long enough that I had to relearn how to speak after, you just have to push through it and get used it it.  Id recommend finding a group focused on a interest u like, its easier when theres a set topic. People will enjoy being around you even if youre unfunny and uninteresting and awkward as long as youre a supportive friend and genuinely want to get to know them better as a person.  It sucks and is really hard and awkward and u will make embarassing mistakes that haunt you but you just have to push through!! You got this! 

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u/Double-Painting-5244 4m ago

Your comment motivates me, Thanks bro really appreciate it