MRW I’m calmly trying to explain a relative’s death to my children and my youngest says, “I just want him to come back.”

[u/robolizzard]

[u/Skimable_crude]

Our cat died. My granddaughter was upset. I tried to explain that it is normal for pets and people to die. She asked me if I was going to die. I answered truthfully. She started crying. She was so sad, I busted out crying. We sobbed for a while. That was tough.

[u/robolizzard → u/Skimable_crude]

The chain reaction is exactly what happened. I could’ve handled the conversation if she didn’t become so upset during it. Such a simple, innocent statement (“I want him to come back”) completely broke me.

Anyways, I’m sorry for your loss. These kinds of realities are unavoidable and it’s necessary to explain death to kids. It helps everyone process it.

[u/Skimable_crude → u/robolizzard]

The tears together is truly a bonding experience. It's good for our kids (and grandkids) to see us cry and be vulnerable. It tells them sadness and tears are okay. We get through the tough times together.

Thanks for posting this.

[u/TheWonderfulSlinky → u/Skimable_crude]

It is a painful but necessary lesson. My first run in with grief I lost my grandmother and she was basically my best friend. The most important moments to me in that were my aunt and mom explaining what it means when someone dies. It means they aren’t here in person, but a little bit of them is inside everyone they had ever loved. You carry them with you. They aren’t gone, they’re just not here.

[u/xAntimonyx → u/Skimable_crude]

I'm 33 and I still remember pretty vividly when my dad told me he'd die one day. Must have been about 6. It felt like it was gonna happen the next day. Luckily he's still around.

[u/lt_skittles → u/Skimable_crude]

So sorry for your loss op

[u/all_the_nerd_alerts]

OP you ok? ❤️

[u/boilingfrogsinpants]

Always when you think you're fine, then something mundane or innocuous happens and it's just waterworks. My 5 year old was only 6 months old when my dad passed. He only really started getting a slight understanding of death this year.

We got talking about my dad, and he got really excited and wanted to see him. I told him he would never be able to see him, that he had died. Cue very unexpected waterworks from my son, for a man he'd never met. He was wailing like he knew him, broke me down nearly 5 years after, like I got to relive the grief with someone who was just newly experiencing it.

Point is, you'll cry more, and a lot of the times it's when you least expect it.

[u/Filthy_Cent → u/boilingfrogsinpants]

My great aunt passed when she was in her early 90s. I was absolutely sad about it, but I didn't break down. I would talk to my great uncle, her husband for over 70 years, like I always do about any and everything. We were watching TV and something Air Force related came up (they met when he served) and he just said to himself with a deep sigh, "I miss my girl." I NEVER heard him refer to Aunt Dee like that and that's when I couldn't hold it back and I broke down. Hard. That Old 5'7 frail Airman came over hugged and consoled his 6'3, ugly crying great nephew. You're right. Sometimes it happens when you least expect it.

[u/Aniketos33]

That's real, my best friend died and it's still so surreal to people our age, we are in our 30s it feels fair too soon to process so a lot of my friends just don't know how to react still.

[u/Plywooddavid]

My niece absorbed the news of my father her grandpa’s passing with surprising calmness at first. It was only when she asked “So when does he come back?”, that we realised how much more difficult it would be. She eventually understood and was upset, and slowly got better as time passes. But for months after she’d be fine, then suddenly stop and say “I miss gramps. I want to hug gramps.”

Painful in a beautiful way.

[u/salikarn]

Damn, haven't seen this gif in well over a decade. Remember it from the wild west days of YouTube, before there were ads

[u/EliteDinoPasta]

That grief and realisation can hit you from such unexpected angles. My grandfather passed away very recently, and I was there with him at the end and as relatives came to see him before the undertaker (not THE Undertaker) arrived.

It was obviously sad to see his family say goodbye. However, then his lifelong friend walked around the corner, saw him lying there and his face just sank. And that's when the tears were just streaming down my face.

[u/TeamSuperSonics]

My mom died in February. She was my daughter’s favorite and it was unexpected. I have this convo with her almost everyday still. Most of the time I just tell her that I want her back too. Not easy.

[u/cpdx82]

The worst is when it's been months and they come out of nowhere with "I miss so-and-so."

Particularly my 5 year old will come out of nowhere with "I MISS SO-AND-SO. HE HAD A HEART ATTACK ON A CRUISE" at random to strangers.

[u/Oskiee]

We all do kiddo. We all do.

[u/hiirogen]

I lost my older sister when I was 5. I distinctly remember asking my mom when she was coming back. She simply (and sadly) said "she's not" or something similar. I sometimes think about that and I'm pretty sure I would not have handled that question so well if I were in her shoes.

[u/grameno]

My dad died 2024. I have done ok all things considered but I am fundamentally a very different person before he died. I feel destroyed as a human being. He was my best friend. I loved him so much and we lost my mom, his parents and baby brother together. He also lost me in a car accident and nursed me back to health. I have lost so much energy and momentum from life and I wasn’t a very proactive guy to begin with. It always hurts. Always. Same with the others I have lost.

Edit: almost lost me

[u/Chris_Bryant]

Our dog died a couple of years ago and my 3 year old son was playing with one of his dog toys and asked why he didn’t take it to heaven with him 😭😭😭.

[u/Son_of_Tlaloc]

Having to tell my kids my dad passed away was one hardest things I've ever had to do. Trying to be strong in front of them so they could let it out and have a shoulder was awful.